This post may not make much sense, but I’ll write it anyway.
Today has been so far, a lousy day. Details are unimportant. At any rate, in the past few years I’ve learned that everything happens for a reason, even though that reason may elude our attempts to discern it right away.
I think I am learning a lesson from today (a day which isn’t over yet.) That lesson is manifold but it relates to one consistent theme I’ve been taught in learning from events. That theme is that suffering (great or small) is necessary for our salvation. It is part of our Christian path that we must accept. It’s part of any decent Christian writing on the nature and necessity of suffering. No major discovery on my part. I’ve always felt that there was an additional reason for suffering. Perhaps dwell on it and discern from it a reason apart from basic acceptance of suffering. Maybe there is not always any reason apart from mere acceptance. Maybe there is, and we just may not find out the “why’s” right away. Or maybe we will and the answer may surprise us and we’ll be amazed at how God works things. Clearly we humans do not grasp the Big Picture and do not see how our suffering, whether it is a major thing or something that turns out to be minor fits into to God’s salvific plan for ourselves and for the rest of humanity. We don’t see all the interconnectedness between us and other people, be they acquaintances and total strangers. A solution may be right around the corner and we’ll feel stupid for having worried so much. Or be grateful.
I was teed off at God today, and yes I know He’s big enough to take it. But still it bordered on despair. Makes me wonder just how deep my faith actually is if I can bail over what may eventually turn out to be nothing. (I bet you’re just wondering what’s bugging me. HAH! Don’t even bother asking.) Anyhow, when times get tough, regardless of the severity, ranting and raving at God is OK, He understands, as long as in the end the despair is a false one, a temporary by-product of your human weakness. An Act of Contrition, said sincerely, along with the Serenity Prayer (which I just now remembered is available to say. DOH!) and you’ll get through. Oh, continue to rant and rave, but later you’ll be stronger for having kept your faith. Perhaps wondering if your faith is weak is akin to wondering if you’re crazy. If you have to ask, the answer is probably “no.”
Have a nice day. Even if it kills you. 🙂Know someone, perhaps yourself, who might like Catholic devotionals for alcoholics? Please take a look at my books! (Thank you!!)"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics"