An Almost Anniversary: February 3, 2002, Part 1

Ten years ago today would have been the 10th anniversary of my sobriety date. I relapsed 3 1/2 months later, in May 2002. Why I did that is a matter of pointless pondering and contemplation. After only a few months of sobriety, the why’s are useless. One doesn’t have enough of sobriety, the tools haven’t settled in. I know some old-timers in AA who disregard relapse stories if the sufferer had less than 5 years of sobriety. To me, the cutoff is 1 year. Perhaps 2.

Anyway, I kind of dimly remember the events of February 3, 2002. Most of it is fuzzy. As a consequence of that this post may not sound all that sensible. I don’t much care as I was thinking yesterday that since this is the year of 10th anniversaries for me and my recovery and reversion to the Church, I think I’ll start documenting all that. Memory is strange and I’ll remember what I can. So, SoberCatholic.com may start to resemble one of those “personal blogs” of recovery so popular in the recovery community. It hasn’t, after all, been too terribly successful in generating a groundswell of support in favor of a Catholic-based recovery community or movement. So it may as well be a personal blog, documenting my recovery and reversion.

I had stopped drinking earlier in the day, and was prone to withdrawal symptoms after just a few hours or so. Based on the calendar I just checked, it was a Sunday, and I might have missed Mass for “not feeling well.”

Throughout the day I became aware of problems with my teeth. They seemed to be loosening. I remember I kept going into the bathroom and checking myself in the mirror. Yes, the teeth seemed to me to be wobbly, and also splitting down the middle. This concerned me and I kept telling my Mom that I think I “need to go to the dentist tomorrow”. For some reason she didn’t seemed all that interested. (Who knows what she must have been thinking, my behavior the previous few weeks was erratic. To say the least.)

So. My teeth seemed to me to be loosening and on the verge of falling out.

And then I got scared…

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