Today is my sobriety date!

Today is my sobriety date! Twelve years ago today was my last drunk. I have frequently tried to figure out the hour at which I took my last drink, but this only serves to keep fresh the memory of the last day.

I had a brief bout with sobriety before, having stopped in early February 2002, only to relapse 3 1/2 months later. I remember having two conflicting feelings simultaneously in my head, that of a euphoria over not having had a drink since February, and that of impending doom over some situation that I won’t bother explaining.

And then with these feelings, I found myself in a liquor store, and I bought a pint of cheap vodka. This was, in a perverse way, an improvement as before I would typically buy the huge 1.75 liter jugs. Sometimes two, one for each hand to keep myself balanced as I wandered to my car.

After two weeks of drinking I stopped. I duly reported my relapse at my old Home Group on May 21st, which was hard not to as I had read “How It Works” with a slurred voice. The next day I walked out of the meeting as two people showed up and said it was their first AA meeting ever. I didn’t want to participate as I felt like a hypocrite, having relapsed. I went to a liquor store, bought a liter of vodka, and that was that.

So, for what it’s worth, May 22, 2002 was my last drunk. What followed was 88 hours of zero sleep whatsoever, and hallucinations peppering the whole period.

But I emerged through it and my drinking days were over.

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4 Comments

  1. Paul, you have inspired me today at fighting against my own demons. Thank you for telling your story to the world because all of us have addictions of some kind. God bless!

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