Category Archives: Communion of Saints

16th Bloggaversary of Sober Catholic: How I stayed sober for almost 21 years

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Today marks the 16th Bloggaversary of Sober Catholic. In honor of that, I’ve edited and cleaned up a messy note I wrote who-knows-when on “The Sober Catholic Way.” It is a summary of everything I’ve been doing since I became sober on May 22, 2002. Some I do better than others. 

This was originally a long, 2,000ish word post. There was the summary you see in the next paragraph followed by a longer version that fleshed out the details. But then I decided this morning during a feeling-sorry-for-myself pity party that the longer version is itself a summary of an even much longer version that’s been lurking in my head for 15 or so years. That being a book on the topic of “The Sober Catholic Way of Sobriety.” Or something like that. I shall begin working on that right away. I do not know when it will be finished.

The summary of the ‘Sober Catholic Method’ or ‘Way’ or ‘whatver’ is:

Wow, that’s a long list, Paulcoholic? Isn’t a Twelve-Step program simpler? Yeah, maybe. But doing the above has kept this sick puppy sober for over 20 years and I knew that AA couldn’t. Some people demand happiness in this life and they find it often by avoiding suffering all costs and more and more turn to things which can only be called ‘addictions.’ Whether it is the typical alcohol or drugs, or an inordinate attraction to the self, or to the Internet and social media, or  to fandoms (pop culture things like TV franchises, movies, comics or other entertainment stuff.) Someone may not be an alcoholic or a drug addict, but I betcha they’re ‘addicted’ to something. You need a lot of tools to crowd all that stuff out or at least keeping them in their proper perspective is an attribute of the Sober Catholic Method. Or Way. Or whatever… 😉 So this all could be a wholistic approach to dealing with life in general and addictions in particular.

There are probably books or devotions that should be on there, but this my list. Yours may be slightly different. Anyone who takes a look at the list will arrive at the conclusion that it is simply a decent Catholic lifestyle. We are all supposed to go to Mass, Confession, and live the Gospel life which is learned by studying the Bible, Catechism, lives of the Saints and their teachings along with a few particular devotions to assist us on our way – to help us ‘stay on the beam.’ So be it. What makes it a ‘Sober Catholic Way?’ Life hasn’t been perfect for me nor am I a serene, happy saint-to-be. Life sucks at times, and I am often cranky and melancholic. But God never promises happiness and peace in this life. Only in the life to come. This should help me get there.

If you’ve appreciated this blog as well as this post, you can PayPalMe a non-tax deductible donation (my real name is Paul Sofranko, like the destination link says.) I will greatly appreciate every donation. (I do have plans for the money; plans to buy software which will help out in the production and marketing of self-published books. I figure that if I can raise sufficient funds through the kindness of strangers, then I’ll feel responsible and actually start working on the planned books. More on that later. )

 Or, you can just buy a lot of my books I’ve already done:

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Stephen and St. Paul: united in Heaven

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I’ve always loved this passage from the Second Reading of the Divine Office for the Feast of St. Stephen, Protomartyr:

From a sermon by Saint Fulgentius of Ruspe, bishop:

Now at last, Paul rejoices with Stephen, with Stephen he delights in the glory of Christ, with Stephen he exalts, with Stephen he reigns. Stephen went first, slain by the stones thrown by Paul, but Paul followed after, helped by the prayer of Stephen. This, surely, is the true life, my brothers, a life in which Paul feels no shame because of Stephen’s death, and Stephen delights in Paul’s companionship, for love fills them both with joy. It was Stephen’s love that prevailed over the cruelty of the mob, and it was Paul’s love that covered the multitude of his sins; it was love that won for both of them the kingdom of heaven.

It is probably my second favorite reading, right behind the one from Holy Saturday (‘Something strange is happening – there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep.”)

I particularly enjoy the one from today’s Office because it convincingly states one aspect of Heaven: enemies forget their animosity or hostility and are united in fraternal love. Now, St. Stephen didn’t hate St. Paul while the two were living; there’s no record they ever actually met. Even if they did, Paul (then named Saul) was just one of the good number of Pharisees who opposed and tried to silence Stephen. But the lesson is there: Paul hated Stephen and this contributed to Stephen’s death. But now they are joined in Heaven. What caused their differences on Earth now unites them in Heaven.

Something that provides a great comfort for all of us down here. Given our past alcoholic and addictive behavior, we have compiled quite a list of people who hold us in less than high regard. It is comforting to know that if we all make it to Heaven, all of that Earthy stuff is gone. Our actions are understood and forgiven, and nothing is left but love. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Visits to a Cemetery in November Devotion

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This is an annual post on a fruitful pious devotion for November:

Catholic Culture has an excellent article regarding a very beneficial pious activity that can aid in your own spiritual progression. It also is a good reminder of where we’ll end up someday. (A grave. Morbid, true, but you wouldn’t be here unless you’re more aware than most people that you will die someday.)

Praying for the Dead and Gaining Indulgences During November is something I blog about here annually. It is about the act of visiting a cemetery during the first 8 days of November.

To summarize from the “Catholic Culture” site: “Indulgenced Acts for the Poor Souls: A partial indulgence can be obtained by devoutly visiting a cemetery and praying for the departed, even if the prayer is only mental. One can gain a plenary indulgence visiting a cemetery each day between November 1 and November 8. These indulgences are applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory.

A plenary indulgence, again applicable only the Souls in Purgatory, is also granted when the faithful piously visit a church or a public oratory on November 2. In visiting the church or oratory, it is required, that one Our Father and the Creed be recited. A partial indulgence, applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory, can be obtained when the Eternal Rest  is prayed. This is a good prayer to recite especially during the month of November:  ‘Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.'”

The article explains the differences between plenary and partial indulgences.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

John Paul II, I love you

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Today is the feast day of Pope St. John Paul II. He acceded to the throne of St. Peter on this day in 1978; I was 15 years old. He died on April 2, 2005; I was 42. A lot happened to me in between those ages. I would have loved to have lived a different life in which Pope John Paul II was a constant fixture in it, but that was not to be. I left the Church in 1987 and returned in 2002, so I missed 15 years of his papacy.

The fact that his writings remain and I have almost all of them is a consolation. (Now to do the reading of them!)

I never met Pope John Paul II. However, I do have an odd personal connection to him. I may have written about this before but a quick search did not find it. When he was dying I was a part of the vast global audience watching the vigil in St. Peter’s Square. It was a Saturday afternoon and I also wanted to go to Confession. I left for it and figured the vigil would still be going on. But no, when I returned home after Confession and a few errands I learned that he had died right after I left. I found out the exact time he died and in my head backtracked my travels that afternoon and guesstimated the time spent at each and came to the really interesting conclusion that John Paul had died when I was in the Confessional, give or take 2-3 minutes before or after.

I like to think that he was facing his Particular Judgement at the same time I was getting absolution.

So, while I admire all of those people who had a personal audience with him, or who saw him being driven past them in his Popemobile during one of his many travels around Earth, I think I got one on you. He was meeting Jesus at the same time Jesus was absolving me of my sins (through the priest.) I don’t recall what my penance was, but I assume Jesus just ushered JP2 right on through. “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Enter into the Kingdom prepared for you since the beginning. Mom is right over there holding the Gates open for you.” And behind Jesus by the Gates is the Blessed Virgin Mary with a smile waving her arm at John Paul II to get him inside.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Faustina’s Vision of Purgatory Part 2

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In Paragraph 21 of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska’s diary: “Divine Mercy in My Soul,” the Saint writes of when she was visited by a suffering soul :

21 …My superiors [probably Mother Leonard and Mother
Jane] sent me to the novitiate in Cracow. An inconceivable joy reigned in my soul. When
we arrived at the novitiate, Sister [Henry] was dying. A few days later she came to me
[in spirit, after her death] and bid me to go to the Mother Directress of Novices [Sister
Margaret] and tell her to ask her confessor, Father Rospond, to offer one Mass for
her and three ejaculatory prayers. At first I agreed, but the next day I decided I would not
go to Mother Directress, because I was not sure whether this had happened in a dream or in
reality. And so I did not go.

The following night the same thing was repeated more clearly; I had no more doubt. Still,
in the morning I decided not to tell the Directress about it unless I saw her [Sister Henry]
during the day. At once I ran into her in the corridor. She reproached me for not having
gone immediately, and a great uneasiness filled my soul. So I went immediately to Mother
Directress and told her everything that had happened to me. Mother responded that she
would take care of the matter. At once peace reigned in my soul, and on the third day this
sister came to me and said, “May God repay you.”

This serves as a useful reminder to always pray for the faithful departed, regardless of your thoughts as to the reasons. Never “rationalize” away a reason to pray. Yes, they might be in Heaven already, or the inspiration may be a strange thought. Prays for the dead are always a great act of charity.

For more information on St. Faustina, click here:

The Divine Mercy Message from the Marians of the Immaculate Conception

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Bringing to Light all Things Hidden

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In the Office of Readings for Tuesday, 34th Week of Ordinary Time we read an excerpt from “A treatise of St Augustine on St John’s gospel – You will come to the spring and see light itself”: “When, therefore, our Lord Jesus Christ comes and, as the apostle Paul says, brings to light things hidden in darkness and makes plain the secrets of the heart, so that everyone may receive his commendation from God, then lamps will no longer be needed. When that day is at hand, the prophet will not be read to us, the book of the Apostle will not be opened, we shall not require the testimony of John, we shall have no need of the Gospel itself. Therefore all Scriptures will be taken away from us, those Scriptures which in the night of this world burned like lamps so that we might not remain in darkness. When all these things are removed as no longer necessary for our illumination, and when the men of God by whom they were ministered to us shall themselves together with us behold the true and dear light without such aids, what shall we see? With what shall our minds be nourished? What will give joy to our gaze? Where will that gladness come from, which eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, which has not even been conceived by the heart of man? What shall we see? I implore you to love with me and, by believing, to run with me; let us long for our heavenly country, let us sigh for our heavenly home, let us truly feel that here we are strangers.”

(Via Universalis.)

We realize that once we arrive at our true home, Heaven, we will no longer have any need for aids to know God and any for intermediary means to discern His will. We will be with Him, in our true selves (minus our human frailties and flaws, for nothing imperfect can enter into Heaven) and see Him as He is. The One who is “I Am Who Am” will be present in us and around us.

Take heart from the exhortation near the end of the passage, about how we should yearn for our heavenly home and how we are strangers here on Earth.

In this time just before Advent, we prepare for Christ’s Coming. We should also prepare for our homeward journey. Being in one-on-one intimacy with the Lord of All Creation should be incentive enough to do whatever it takes to get there.

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are very slowly being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The pain of waiting for Heaven

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Our true home is Heaven. Our life on Earth is an exile, the time we spend here prepares us for our arrival home. If we misuse this time to an extreme (consistently rejecting the will of God and working against His Will) we will banish ourselves and be eternally damned. Damnation is the natural consequence of our poor moral choices on Earth.

However, even if we exercise right judgement, we may still be denied entry into the fullness of Heaven and perfect union with God for a time. This time is referred to as Purgatory. Those who die in a state of grace but yet still retain the stain of sin on their souls need to be purified. The unclean cannot enter into the vision of God in this state. See: Catechism of the Catholic Church – Purgatory

(Via Vatican.)

We can begin our purgatory here on Earth. A longing for our true home and the pain of separation from it is a purifying experience. This longing is a prayer.

The blog The New Theological Movement has a great post entitled “Prayer, purgatory on earth”. It explores the idea that through a prayerful longing for Heaven, we can offer up this suffering for the expiation of our sins and for the Holy Souls in Purgatory.

This prayerful longing for Heaven is a detachment from our exile, and therefore a little death. Gradually we are better prepared for our own death and no longer fear it.

Personally, I feel this longing. Daily I pray for this “going home,” and not in any worrying suicidal way, but just like anyone who wishes to be home, I would rather be there than here. Nevertheless, I do realize that I may have to remain here for God only knows how long to continue working out whatever His plans are for me. 

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are very slowly being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

November is almost upon us!

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Note: A reblog from a previous year and slightly edited.

November is my favorite month. Mainly because of The Feasts of All Saints on November 1st and All Souls on November 2nd and the general trend in the Church’s liturgical readings in the Mass and Divine Office on Christ’s Coming (First and Second). 

This leads to November being considered the “month of the dead”. While some may find that rather gruesome and macabre, I do not. I like November and its focus on the dead because of the reminder that what is around us is not the whole story, and that something greater lies beyond our reach. But not forever. We too, shall cross over to what lies beyond, and we should always be mindful of our death.

November and its associations with the dead also help me to connect with my loved ones that have died. They do not seem so far away. My Mom died in November (2005) and her death shattered my life, but out of that wreckage came a new life for me. My Dad died years earlier in 1995, and I find that I am becoming more like him in some ways (namely Catholicy). There are others hopefully in Heaven or Purgatory, and I think about them often.

Anyway, with November here there shall be a slight change in focus here at this blog. I mentioned this before: Slight change in direction for Sober Catholic. This is one of a number of posts from my old “death blog” that I edited and republished here. I recently completed the migration of posts from ‘4LT’ to here or my other blog. Many of you observant readers will notice a ‘retropost’ notice at the bottom of the migrated posts. Some were backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. If I recall, I chose the term ‘retropost’ because it implies ‘retroactive’ for those that were backdated, or to ‘retro,’ or ‘old’, ‘back in the day’ posts. 

So, have a Good November, everyone. (May that salutation be likened to a wish for a happy death. (A “Happy Death” in Catholicism is a death in which you end up in Heaven.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

November Visits to a Cemetery Devotion

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This is an annual post on a fruitful pious devotion for November:

Catholic Culture has an excellent article regarding a very beneficial pious activity that can aid in your own spiritual progression. It also is a good reminder of where we’ll end up someday. (A grave. Morbid, true, but you wouldn’t be here unless you’re more aware than most people that you will die someday.)

Praying for the Dead and Gaining Indulgences During November is something I will blog about here annually. It is about the act of visiting a cemetery during the first 8 days of November.

To summarize from the “Catholic Culture” site: “Indulgenced Acts for the Poor Souls: A partial indulgence can be obtained by devoutly visiting a cemetery and praying for the departed, even if the prayer is only mental. One can gain a plenary indulgence visiting a cemetery each day between November 1 and November 8. These indulgences are applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory.

A plenary indulgence, again applicable only the Souls in Purgatory, is also granted when the faithful piously visit a church or a public oratory on November 2. In visiting the church or oratory, it is required, that one Our Father and the Creed be recited. A partial indulgence, applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory, can be obtained when the Eternal Rest  is prayed. This is a good prayer to recite especially during the month of November:  ‘Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.'”

The article explains the differences between plenary and partial indulgences.

Like last year, this opportunity to gain indulgences has been extended for November 2021. Please see this Catholic Culture article.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Anniversary of my Father’s Death

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On this date in 1995 my father died.

He and I weren’t very close, (“fathers and sons …”) generational and attitudinal differences separated us.

As a result, I didn’t really grieve over his death. I mean, I was saddened and did feel the loss, but I wasn’t ripped apart by his death like I was over my Mom’s 10 years later.

This relative lack of impact was aided by the fact that I was 2,500 miles away and hadn’t seen him in 4 years.

I went home for his funeral, and reconnected with the family, but when I returned home to California I continued life as usual. I had started drinking heavily to cope with life’s problems a year before (failed romance) and my drinking picked up a little more upon my return, so that may have softened the need to grieve in a sober manner.

The point of this is that although I wasn’t too close to Dad during his life, I am much closer to him now. That would seem strange to non-Catholics, but for believers with a knowledge of the Communion of Saints, that shouldn’t seem strange at all.

Death doesn’t end a life. Death is just a passage from this life to another. This life is temporary, everything “is”, and then passes away to dust and a dim memory. The life after is eternal. Whether that life is spent in Heaven or Hell depends on what you do in your Earthly life.

There is a connection between those of us still here on Earth and those deceased. It is called, as I referenced in a previous paragraph, the Communion of Saints . (Via New Advent.) This is comprised of the “Church Militant” (those still on Earth), the “Church Suffering” (those in Purgatory) and the “Church Triumphant” (those in Heaven). Only the souls that have damned themselves to Hell are excluded.

“Communion” implies a community, wherein the members still can relate to one another. This relation is conducted by the means of prayer. We pray to the Church Triumphant and the Church Suffering for their intercessory power with God. We can somehow sense their presence (although admittedly that “sensing” may be wishful thinking).

They are there to help, comfort and console us. We are separated from them by the chasm of death, but that chasm can be crossed eventually by our own deathly passage.

I said earlier in this post that I am much closer to Dad now than while he was alive. I have grown to be much like him, at least with regard to the practice of my Catholic Faith. (I still haven’t taken up woodworking as a hobby, nor returned to fishing as a pastime, but may in time. I do enjoy yardwork, like he did, and love baseball, too.) I understand him better as the years progress and as I grow older.

To anyone who has lost a parent (or anyone beloved) to death, fear not. They are not gone from you permanently. Consider them as just having moved far away, and the distance you need to travel to meet with them again will take the rest of your life.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)