St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 11

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The 11th Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that one should speak gently and without laughter, seriously and with modesty; briefly and reasonably, without raising one’s voice.

I believe this Step is about showing fundamental respect for other people, with particular concern for their dignity as individuals and their state in life.

We do not exalt ourselves at the expense of other people. We do not tear others down and feel triumph over that. We always show them respect, knowing full well that we ourselves are not perfect, we are flawed individuals who make mistakes, sometimes serious ones, and that we need to be treated charitably when we stumble and fall.

This is humbling inasmuch as there are times when we all like to see the other person squirm under our self-righteous glare, or be destroyed by a volley of carefully chosen verbal weapons. But this is wrong from a Christian perspective.

This is humbling in another manner, whereas we may not be tearing the other person down in any conversation, we may still be pumping ourselves up through any excessive use of words and self-promotion. This is pride. If you examine the 11 Step’s lists of suggested behaviors, all are at the expense of one’s ego.

This Step may be hard. At times it is for me. But it does contain practical, daily suggestions for humble relationships.

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St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 10

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The 10th Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that one not be given to ready laughter.

This may seem rather unimportant unless you consider that a too quick reply to something with laughter may make you sound foolish or disrespectful. We’ve all done that and pretty much felt silly and idiotic afterwords, particularly when it was inappropriate.

I believe that this step is about discipline and self-control. If we have a well developed (or developing) spiritual life, then perhaps we are on the path towards greater peace within ourselves and a more stable relationship with the people, places and things around us. Therefore we are less given to inappropriate outbursts (of laughter or anger).

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 9

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The Ninth Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that one should control their tongue and remain silent, not speaking unless asked a question.

This is one where we can sufficiently modify for our use as sober alcoholics, not living in a monastery and bound by a rule of silence. Or can we? (I have to be careful here as my lovely, cute and very intelligent wife loves to talk, monastic silence or anything close to it would drive her absolutely bug nuts.)

How much of what we say is actually useful or just filler for the dead spaces in the air about us? Are we that uncomfortable “just being” so that by talking we distract ourselves and others from something else?

Talking too much runs the risk of sinning, for by much verbiage we may tend towards gossip or bearing false witness.

God gave us two ears and one mouth, so perhaps we should listen twice as much as we talk. By doing so we tune into others around us and thus learn and grow closer to them. Listen to others, as opposed to hearing ourselves. We can listen to ourselves during our interior prayer life, when we talk only to God.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 8

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The 8th Step of St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that a monk does only what is endorsed by the common rule of the monastery and the example set by the superiors.

You join a group, whether it’s a job or a church softball team, no matter, you just joined some existing organization with legitimate authority over its members and as such has placed generally accepted rules for doing things over its members. In joining such a group, you have tacitly agreed to abide by the rules of the organization. The organization therefore has a right to expect you to live by the rules, otherwise, why’d you sign up?

If you do not like the rules, the honorable thing to do would be to leave. If you cannot abide by the rules, for whatever reason, to stay in the organization would be dishonest and disruptive. Even if you hid your displeasure, you would be dishonest with yourself and disruptive of your interior life. Sobriety might be threatened as you struggled to reconcile your beliefs, or ways of doing things, with the group you are a member of. If the group has a way of considering discontent and sees there is room for change, then this is fine as change within the system is the sign of a dynamic and vibrant group. If you could not hide your displeasure, and there were no mechanisms for enabling change within the system, then to stay would be dishonest to the group and disruptive to the members.

In a way, it goes back to the false humility vs true humility comparison mentioned in Sixth Step . With a sense of true humility, and after the humble examination of your beliefs, attitudes and motivations with the notion that you might possibly be wrong, you would leave the group rather than stay and be disruptive. With a sense of false humility, you might refuse to consider that your position is wrong, and adopt a kind of “martyr” attitude and stay. As I said in the 6th Step: True humility deflects attention from ourselves, or at least we are uncomfortable with the attention; false humility attracts attention and enjoys the attention our work brings us. There is the possibility that the falsely humble will leave and build a new group around themselves. A martyr complex changed to that of a rebel and exile. Romantic notions, but ego-driven.

How is this relevant to our sobriety? Ego-driven actions are dangerous to us. Drinking fueled them back then, and to return to them after sobriety may be dangerous unless we have a well balanced life and also a very well developed spiritual life.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 7

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The Seventh Step of the Ladder of Humility is that a person not only admit outwardly but is also inwardly convinced that one is inferior to all and of less value.

This is rather similar to the previous Sixth Step. The two go hand-in-hand, it seems to me. If you accept the lowest and most menial treatment, it stands to reason that you would consider yourself inferior.

This is a Step which takes us closer to God. When you consider that Jesus was executed for crimes He didn’t commit, and was treated like the lowest of the low of common criminals, we see that this Step takes us closer to His Cross.

It is a Step which is sacrificial in nature. It is the one which says “Nothing is beneath me, not even assuming that others are better than I.” Who are we to say that any one of us is better or superior to another person? To some homeless person on the street? To some drunk dead in an alley? “But for the grace of God, go I,” a common saying in the rooms of 12 Step recovery movements.

As lunatic that this Step may seem to secular psychologists, I think that this Step helps to keep us sane. It prevents us from believing all sorts of nonsense about ourselves, either stuff foisted upon us by someone else, or fantasies of our own making. It keeps our egos in check. It enable us to be of service to others because it clears away false conceptions of ourselves, as long as we have a reasonable and rational assessment of our skills and talents. Like in the Sixth Step, we have to do a balancing act between this rational assessment and this matter of faith.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Ladder of Humility posting update

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Due to some circumstances, I won’t be posting on the 7th Step of St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility today until at least after midnite, my time (it’s 0630, now. ) I have to work all day.

Nothing sudden or unforeseen. But I didn’t get a chance to write on the 7th step yesterday and postdate it for today.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 6

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The Sixth Step on the Ladder of Humility is that a person be content with the lowest and most menial treatment, and regards themselves as a poor and worthless worker in whatever task given.

This seemingly goes contrary to modern psychobabble regarding self-esteem and empowerment and such. So getting away from the apparent harshness and “anti-feel good” nature of this Step, what value can we gain from this?
We all, hopefully, think that we are good at what we do. Sometimes however this belief gets ahold of us and we become arrogant. We feel that we are “God’s gift” to whatever it is that we do. If we regard ourselves as “poor and worthless” then we retain a level of humility when it’s balanced with a reasonable assessment of ourselves.

With much of Catholicism, there is a balance between two things. Faith and reason for example. We need both to be good Catholics. Faith without Reason runs the risk of neurosis and superstition. Reason without Faith devalues the supernatural, or explains it away. Another is a balance between the moral and the social teachings of the Church. Using the secular definitions, too much of an emphasis on the moral teachings runs the risk of becoming too politically right-wing, whereas too much emphasis on the social teachings runs the opposite risk of becoming too politically left-wing. There needs to be a balance between two perspectives.

Another risk is the difference between true and false humility. With true humility you accept that you are good at what you do, but recognize that you are still a flawed, imperfect human being, and a sinner. Your skills do not make you better than other people, you just recognize that God gave you these skills and you are honoring Him by using them to the best of your ability. You readily acknowledge your faults and mistakes.

Being content with the lowest and menial treatment is “merely” going back to the notion of accepting whatever suffering that comes along as being necessary for your salvation, as acceptance of suffering is key to being Christian. It is an antidote to pride, another form of false humility. True humility deflects attention from ourselves, or at least we are uncomfortable with the attention; false humility attracts attention and enjoys the attention our work brings us.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 5

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The Fifth Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that a person does not conceal any sinful thoughts, or any wrongs committed in secret, but humbly confesses them.

The Step was intended for monks to do this in respect to his abbot (man who is in charge of the monastery), but we also can do this with our priests in Confession.

Psalm 32:5;

Then I declared my sin to you; my guilt I did not hide. I said, “I confess my faults to the LORD,” and you took away the guilt of my sin.

It is out of pride that we refuse to confess. From the blasphemous mortal sin of presuming that God cannot forgive a serious sin, to just concealing something out of embarrassment, pride is the agent here. We must confess our sins to a priest for absolution and penance, this at least humbles us by bringing our misdeeds to the light of day.

From Step 5 of various 12 Step movements:

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

So even a non-religious group feels that it is of great importance to reveal to another one’s wrongdoings. There is a certain catharsis in doing so, a definite change is felt within by the act of confessing, either in sacramental Confession or in “doing the Fifth Step” with someone.

Feeling that you can just confess sins straight to God is just a cop-out. Explore your feelings deep within, and if you’re honest, you’ll discover that you’re not being “pious” in talking to God, you’re running away from the sins and embarrassment they cause.

Confessing to another introduces you to the concept of “honesty”, another humility-inducing act.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 4

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Yesterday I mentioned that the Third Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is about obedience and that the next step tells you how to deal with it as “obedience” is alien to today’s worldly people bent on personal self-determination.

OK, the Fourth Step is that if this obedience is difficult, unfavorable, or even unjust, one must embrace suffering, and endure it without weakening or seeking escape from it.

Granted, this might not be seen as an acceptable or particularly easy method to deal with the difficulties of “obedience” to legitimate authority. Sort of seems like those drugs advertised on television with a list of side-effects that seem worse than the malady the drug is supposed to cure.

But remember, we are Catholic and as Christians we are supposed to imitate Christ. And as I have said numerous times here, acceptance of suffering is essential to being Christian. That is something lost to many modern-day Christians as they seem to not differ too much from worldly types who seek to avoid suffering at all costs.

Christ suffered and died for our sins. We can imitate Him by accepting whatever suffering that comes into our lives as something permitted by God for our salvation. By enduring suffering we can offer it up in reparation for our sins and also for the sins of others. We can also offer it as an example to others of the contrary path that we Christians take in the world, a path that is essentially counter-cultural in fundamental ways that secular counter-culture isn’t.

Lest anyone think that this is merely a Christian thing, something similar is mentioned in a basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous. In the text, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., New York, 1981) states on page 90:

Few people have been victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional “dry benders” often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances – jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride, often did the same thing.

There is a Gospel passage:

Matt 10:22;

You will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to the end will be saved.

And so we endure. We say the Serenity Prayer to help us “deal with it”, too, for those times when we might be compelled to do more. But whatever the case, we must never resort to the false humility of justifying a course of action because of any apparent “injustice” when it is really just a personal affront to our own pride and self-will. Too many angry people seek to redress “injustices”, when merely they are seeking to justify their own self-indulgences.

The difference between false humility and true humility is the difference between who is aggrieved, you or God?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 3

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The 3rd step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility may be especially troublesome to those not prone to humility, or who are too rooted in the ways of the world.

It says that a person should submit to their superior in all obedience for the love of God, in imitation of Jesus.

From St. Paul’s Letter to the Phillipians:

Phil 2:8;

He humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.

This is hard to tolerate, as “obedience” is rather contrary to modern Western thinking, and connotes weakness and slavery.

Benedict’s Rule is primarily for monks living in monasteries of the Benedictine Order. But as I said in the post that introduced this subject, many laity (people who are not priests, nuns or religious brothers) also follow the Rule of St. Benedict. So, how might we find value in this 3rd Step?

It is especially humbling, or humility-inducing, to subject yourself to another’s authority. So, to what authority would we willingly subject ourselves for the love of God?

Well, let’s think about that. What did God do for the love of us? He incarnated Himself in the form of a man, Jesus Christ, who while fully human, also retained the fullness of His divinity. And Jesus died for His love of us, to pay back to God the Father the sin of Adam and Eve which had ruptured our relationship with God (read Genesis 3).

After Jesus died, and rose again, what did He do? He established the Catholic Church, protected by the Holy Spirit from teaching error (i.e. the Pope and Bishops in union with him, all of whom are direct lineal successors to the Apostles and who carry out their mission of teaching the Gospel).

The Church is by no means perfect, composed as it is of humans, but it has survived 2,000 years of history created by it’s human members. It has never changed a teaching to be the opposite of what it was originally, and guided by the Spirit, it has developed teachings as we come to more fully understand the Bible and discern God.

This is what we can be obedient to. The Church can guide our conscience to follow and do God’s will. It has the consistency needed to build trust to follow it’s authority in matters of Gospel faith and morals.

Obedience is not slavish submission. It is a willful act of agreeing to follow legitimate authority and consent to its leadership. Authority that has merited trust and acquiescence.

If you have trouble with Step Three of the Ladder of Humility, Step Four tells you how to deal with it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)