Category Archives: Serenity

Do not fret because of the wicked

Posted on by
Reply

The excerpt for today is from the Office of the Readings from the Liturgy of the Hours for Tuesday of Holy Week and is Psalm 37:1-4:

Do not fret because of the wicked;
do not envy those who do evil:
for they wither quickly like grass
and fade like the green of the fields.

If you trust in the Lord and do good,
then you will live in the land and be secure.
If you find your delight in the Lord,
he will grant your heart’s desire.

Source: Divine Office.org

This, then, is envy and resentment. You stopped drinking and using and have received some of the promises and benefits from sobriety, but you haven’t gotten the hang of it entirely. And your ol’ drinkin’ buddies are still havin’ a grand time out there, celebrating and carousing, and maybe teasing you for being a quitter.  

Or, you’ve been clean and sober for a nice long time, and once in a while you just watch people enjoying the gentle conviviality of a few glasses of wine during a dinner or a beer while watching a game on TV. Or, have a crisis, binge all weekend, emerge all right and not touch the stuff for a year because they didn’t have to and don’t “need” it. 

While not implying that your ol’ drinkin’ buddies are wicked (it could be used as a metaphor) the idea that someone, somewhere, out there, is having a good time doing something that could kill you if you returned to doing it does burn. I mean, even I, at times, just wish that I could, you know, have just one little…

But no.

Those who continue drinking and using go on to their own reward, which could be nothing harmful at all if they employ moderation; or they could wind up in the rooms of AA next to you. I can see it now: you’re in some church basement awaiting the start of your Thursday Night 8PM Home Group and someone sits down right next to you; but you’re so engrossed in reading a post from SoberCatholic.com that you don’t notice it’s Norm/Norma with whom you used to go around town barhoppin’. They nudge you in the shoulder and you turn and see them pointing to my post on your phone and they say “Hey, Ron/Rhonda! I read that earlier today! Funny meeting you here!” A pause and then they say “Hey,” again pointing to the SoberCatholic.com page on your screen, “Do you have this? That guy wrote it.” And they pull out and well-worn copy of “The Sober Catholic Way.” You reply, “Yeah, I got that! It changed my life! I bought a boxful off of Amazon and put them in my parish’s reading room and Adoration Chapel!” And so you renew acquaintances.

Or, your reading on that same phone the obituaries and a familiar name shows up on your doomscrolling. “Died suddenly.” You know what that means. 

On the other hand, if you trust in the Lord and do good,
then you will live a decent life and be secure.
If you find your delight in the Lord,
he will grant your heart’s desire (continued sobriety.)

Please by my book! Link in the image (or click on this):
00000 TSCWBookCover.jpg.

Thank you!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Lord is my light and my salvation

Posted on by
Reply

The Responsorial Psalm for the Mass of the Monday of Holy Week is from Psalm 27:1-3, 13-14

The Lord is my light and my salvation.

whom should I fear?

The LORD is my life’s refuge;
 of whom should I be afraid?

When evildoers come at me
 to devour my flesh,

My foes and my enemies

themselves stumble and fall.



Though an army encamp against me,

my heart will not fear;


Though war be waged upon me,

even then will I trust. 



I believe that I shall see the bounty of the LORD

in the land of the living.


Wait for the LORD with courage;

be stouthearted, and wait for the LORD.


Source:  USCCB

It may take a prolonged period of “spiritual progress” to reach the level of serenity and sustained courage the psalm reflects. But it is possible. In these times of global warfare, rising prices at home as well as growing political corruption (and indifference to it by the deluded,) we need to focus on the promises offered by this psalm. Read and reread it; perhaps mark it in your Catholic Bible and refer to it often “in these troubling times.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

May he preserve you whole and entire, spirit, soul, and body

Posted on by

The Reading from the Night Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours for the Thursday of the Third Week of Lent is from 1 Thessalonians 5:23

May the God of peace make you perfect in holiness. May he preserve you whole and entire, spirit, soul, and body, irreproachable at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Courtesy: DivineOffice.org

Let this be a prayer for all who are striving to maintian their sobriety.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Anxious concern

Posted on by

From the Reading from the Evening Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours for Wednesday of the Third Week of Lent:

Work with anxious concern to achieve your salvation. It is God who, in his good will toward you, begets in you any measure of desire or achievement. In everything you do, act without grumbling or arguing; prove yourselves innocent and straightforward, children of God beyond reproach. (Philippians 2:12b-15a)

Courtesy: Divine Office.org

“Work with anxious concern to achieve your salvation.” No one’s salvation is guaranteed. We can never really be sure with absolute certitude. Given the stakes of eternity, that’s a big deal. “Once Saved, Always Saved” is a heresy, and given its presumption of God’s Mercy, a sure pathway to Hell. 

“It is God who, in his good will toward you, begets in you any measure of desire or achievement.” God loves you and wants you with Him forever. Not many say that about you. Therefore, He instills or creates in you (begets) the desire to gain Heaven. This is through the graces He freely sends you; your cooperation with those graces determines the eventual outcome. 

“In everything you do, act without grumbling or arguing; prove yourselves innocent and straightforward, children of God beyond reproach.” This is self-explanatory: the inner serenity that you should have as being a child of God should affect your behavior. It should be beyond reproach when compared to seculars.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Where your heart is, there is your treasure also

Posted on by

Today I bring you two excerpts from the Second Reading of Office of Readings of the Liturgy of the Hours for the Saturday of the Second Week of Lent, They were taken from “the treatise on Flight from the World “ by Saint Ambrose, bishop.

Where a man’s heart is, there is his treasure also. God is not accustomed to refusing a good gift to those who ask for one. Since he is good, and especially to those who are faithful to him, let us hold fast to him with all our soul, our heart, our strength, and so enjoy his light and see his glory and possess the grace of supernatural joy. Let us reach out with our hearts to possess that good, let us exist in it and live in it, let us hold fast to it, that good which is beyond all we can know or see and is marked by perpetual peace and tranquillity, a peace which is beyond all we can know or understand.

…

Let us take refuge from this world. You can do this in spirit, even if you are kept here in the body. You can at the same time be here and present to the Lord. Your soul must hold fast to him, you must follow after him in your thoughts, you must tread his ways by faith, not in outward show. You must take refuge in him. He is your refuge and your strength.

Courtesy: Divine Office.org

Where is your treasure? Is it still found in the false escape of alcohol or drugs? Or something else, such as an inordinate interest in a pop culture fandom? How about pornography? Your treasure should be found only in God and in all of His promises which He does fulfill for those who hope and trust in Him. 

Prayerfull read, and reread, the excerpt from the Office of Readings. You can also go to the link in the courtesy attribution and read the entire paassage. It’s a guide to succesful addiction recovery. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

In God alone is my soul at rest

Posted on by

The excerpt from the Evening Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours for the Wednesday of the  Second week of Lent comes from Psalm 62:1-2.

In God alone is my soul at rest;
my help comes from him.
He alone is my rock, my stronghold,
my fortress: I stand firm.

Courtesy: DivineOffice.org

The world is currently ablaze in war; Russia’s Fascist aggression against Ukraine is now over 4 years old and virtually every country in the Middle East is involved to one degree or another in the joint US/Israeli military action against Iran. Things could get nuclear. Political discord is increasing exponentially in the United States. The US and global economy is being victimzed by idiotic political decisions.. 

There are plenty of reasons to return to drinking and drugging; it could make “things go away” temporarily or at least make them seem manageable.

The first two verses from Psalm 62 which form the first psalm reading from tonight’s Evening Prayer is a worthwhile passaage to meditate on and perhaps even memorize for when you have the urge to drink or drug again when things get tough. They’re going to get tougher. Only God can be the fortress within which you can take refuge in. For 2,000 years Catholics going throught wars, plagues, oppression and poverty have known this and have sought refuge in the Faith. Faith helps you rise above the temporary things that disturb us. Countries come and go, wars are always fought and won or lost, leaders become full of their own ego and narcissism and bring socieities down. The Catholic Church and her adherents remain.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

BOOK REVIEW: “Encouraging Words to Live By: 365 Days of Hope for the Anxious and Overwhelmed” by Anne Costa

Posted on by

“Encouraging Words to Live By: 365 Days of Hope for the Anxious and Overwhelmed” by Anne Costa was published through The Word Among Us Press in 2019, and I wish I had it back then as it would have helped me better deal with anxiety and recurring feelings of being overwhelmed.

The book is aptly named.

What is it about? 

From the site blurb:

Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or sad? Here is a collection of daily reflections that will lift your spirits and give you a sense of direction with reminders of God’s great love and acceptance. Drawing from Scripture, the wisdom of the saints, and pastoral expertise, Anne Costa has written a spiritual resource that will enable you to look upon each day with hope.

This book will help you (or a loved one) when overwhelmed by life or struggling with anxiety or depression to renew your connection with God and others.

Encouraging Words to Live By.

I began reading it this year (2026.) With the world and nation going increasingly insane and daily living threatened by the actions of stupid political leaders in ways previously unheard of (due to things being amplified by social media and 24/7 news channels) this book will provide a sane and soothing respite for the few minutes every day that you take to read and ponder the wisdom of Anne as well as from those sources she’s culled it from. You might even be inspired to grab your Bible afterwards and look up the Scripture passage.

My favorite day so far (and NOT the only one in my two weeks of reading) is the entry for January 5th. 

Excerpt: 

…How we talk to ourselves—the messages we send—can either feed or starve our souls. We shouldn’t let our inner chatter drown out the voice of God, who is love….

…Let the condemning thoughts die down like a distant echo and allow the whisper of the One who loves you fill your listening heart….

I think I need to place that page on my printer, make a copy, and tack it onto the wall next to me. I have mentioned at least once before about “inner voices” running me down. They typically sound like the voices of family members who had driven me to consider self-harm, but often it’s a generic voice not associated with any particular person. But it’s always a running critical commentary, but sometimes petty and ridiculous; like the source of the voice can’t come up with anything big so it resorts to something stupid. 

Each page has a quote from Scripture, followed by Anne’s “Encouraging Words,” basically a short inspirational passage she wrote, based on the Scripture passage and often tied to the liturgical feast of that day. The day’s reading concludes with a nice, short prayer. 

After I finish writing and publishing this review, I’m going to go back through the entries for January 1 through 16 and highlight certain passages, maybe scribble a note or underline with a pen.  I rarely do that, but when I do, it “annoints” the book with a sort of personal blessing. “This book is essential to my well-being” and “It’s important in helping me cope.” I’ll be keeping the highlighter and pen next to it. Within a few years the book will show evidence of heavy-duty highlighting, underlining, and annotating. There’s no entry for February 29: on that day I’ll just flip through and reread other days.

Where to get it:

The book’s page on Anne’s website: Encouraging Words to Live By on REVIVE Hope and Healing Ministries 

Through Amazon

Barnes and Noble (and check out the Nook sample!)

Or visit your nearby local bookshop (especially if you have a Catholic bookshop around!) and politely request that they carry it. Buy two, one for yourself and for someone you know.

Anne’s website is REVIVE Hope and Healing Ministries. They have a Prayer Community on Facebook. Check out her podcasts (DISCLAIMER: she interviewed me last year.  That DID NOT influence my review. If I didn’t like the book, I wouldn’t have reviewed it.) A full list of where you can listen is on Podbean. 

I hope you enjoy reading it! If you do, spread the word! People need this book!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Not a destructive drug among them

Posted on by

From the Office of Readings for the Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time in the Divine Office:

For he fashioned all things that they might have being;
and the creatures of the world are wholesome,
And there is not a destructive drug among them
nor any domain of the nether world on earth,
For justice is undying.

Courtesy of Divine Office – Liturgy of the Hours of the Roman Catholic Church (Breviary)

The phrase “not a destructive drug among them” popped right out at me; I’m surprised I never noticed it before (perhaps I did, but don’t recall.) Anyway, the phrase is connected to ‘justice,’ which I consider to be significant. Whether ‘destructive drug’ is associated with alcohol or addictive substances, I doin’t know, but I’m associating it for the purposes of this blog! 

This is what the CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA has to say on Justice:

Justice is here taken in its ordinary and proper sense to signify the most important of the cardinal virtues. It is a moral quality or habit which perfects the will and inclines it to render to each and to all what belongs to them. Of the other cardinal virtues, prudence perfects the intellect and inclines the prudent man to act in all things according to right reason. Fortitude controls the irascible passions; and temperance moderates the appetites according as reason dictates. While fortitude and temperance are self-regarding virtues, justice has reference to others. Together with charity it regulates man’s intercourse with his fellow men. But charity leads us to help our neighbour in his need out of our own stores, while justice teaches us to give to another what belongs to him.

Ok, we see that justice is that ”moral quality or habit which perfects the will.’ We alcoholics and addicts hardly had a ‘perfected will,’ we were driven at great lenghts to support our habits and our wills were aligned to that, which often involved behaviour what was immoral, disorded and often criminal. We lacked the sense of justice in our lives. Our definition of what is ‘just’ was whatever was orderd to satisfy our needs and desires and we lacked consideration or compassion for anyone else.

From this arose the behaviour for which we had to make amends upon recovery.

Have we cultivated a sense of justice? Do we place God first, others second and ourselves third? Do we grant others that which is their due (“render to each and to all what belongs to them.”)? Once we have cultivated this sense of justice, when we seek only which is rightfully ours (and not so based on pride, vanity, ego, and selfishness) and we grant others the same right, could we reasonably claim to be “recovered” (or steadfastly “recovering”) from our addictions. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hurt people hurt people

Posted on by

I often run across memes online with the phrase “Hurt people hurt people.” This means that people who have been hurt turn around and hurt others. It is assumed that since they’ve never experienced any healing from the hurt, or even justice for it, the  wound festers and they respond by hurting others.

I sympathize with the rationale behind “hurt people hurt people.” It’s hard to be sensitive to other people’s pain when your own has never been completely healed, or the ones who hurt you seem to continue on happy and healthy as if nothing happened.

I do not always think that the pain rendered unto me by the actions of my family after my Mom died in 2005 has ever been completely dealt with, and certainly “justice” (however that is defined) has never been enacted. Nor has the pain from the trauma my sister visited upon me in 1995 been dealt with (I thought I had blogged about that incident, but I can’t find any post on it. So be it, let it rest, for now. 2025 is the 20th and 30th anniversaries of many traumas. The dates are coming up in a coiuple of months.) For all of that, it’s easy for me at times to be resentful and less than empathic towards others. I am a hurt person who once in a while hurts others. Bear in mind that everyone does this; but at least I know the source of where it comes from. We all walk around broken and wounded. The wounds are there; some healed over, others not so much. 

It is obvious from all this that people need healing, and that access to effective and affordable mental health resources is imperative. Also, people need to embrace forgiveness. If a hurt person cannot get access to mental health resources, then “forgiveness” may help as far as it goes.

There is one method by which a person who has been hurt can find healing and perhaps justice as well. Although much patience is required.

“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay.”

That is a passage from the Bible. You can’t get a better method of justice than God going to bat for you and doing unto others what should be done unto them.

St. Paul refers to it explicitly in his Letter to the Romans:

Romans 12: 17-19

“Render to no one harm for harm. Provide good things, not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of all men.

If it is possible, in so far as you are able, be at peace with all men.

Do not defend yourselves, dearest ones. Instead, step aside from wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is mine. I shall give retribution, says the Lord.”

St. Paul was quoting (“For it is written”) the Book of Deuteronomy 32:35: “Vengeance is mine, and I will repay them in due time, so that their foot may slip and fall.” 

Granted, this is something that will happen “in God’s time;” and while we would rather those who’ve hurt us to get their comeuppance in our lifetime (and quickly!) and maybe even being able to witness it; this is one of those things that it is better to wait for. God’s justice is sweeter when it happens when it’s supposed to. 

It is also important to note that the people on whom God will wreak His vengeance and justice on are those who are unrepentant. I think that if those who’ve hurt you realize the gravity of their actions and repent, even if they do not outright make amends to you, “somehow” God will pass a healing on to you. (Based on this, my family hasn’t repented; I have passed out of family history, mostly fogotten and unregarded. At best, a footnote mentioned at gatherings.)

Another Scripture verse harkens to this vengeance:

Psalm 23:5 “You set a table before me in front of my enemies…”

What better vengeance than for God to bestow His blessings on you in the sight of those who’ve hurt you? This could be in this life; your ‘enemies’ witnessed you moving on from the pain they’ve caused and you seem (outwardly, at least) unharmed.

But it could also be in the next life. You die and enter Heaven, joining in the celebrations of the “wedding feast of the Lamb (Rev 19:1-10).” That incredible eternal feast which takes place after the Second Coming and the final triumph of good over evil and the resurrection of the dead, where all the faithful gather in joyous union with the glorified Christ.

Just think about the possibility of your unrepentant and unforgiven enemies witnessing this from the tortures of Hell (which I think may be one way to increases their suffering.) These are the people who have willfully done you serious harm; whether it be crimes such as physical or psychological abuse, or something else (neglect, bigotry, prejudice…) They have also probably harmed many others. Now they are paying the price for their sins and deservedly so. 

Take heart, of sorts: there is no need for you to nurture the pain with in you as a reminder of past injuries, dwelling on the injustices done unto you and dreaming of a way to get even; or, worse, spread the pain onto others by treating them the same way you had been. For when a “hurt person” “hurts others,” they are no better than those who’ve hurt them. Worse, even for they know the pain and should be sensitive to that pain in others.

Leave it up to God. He knows exactly why those people hurt you. He knows what’s in their hearts and souls and He alone can wreak proper justice. If that includes Divine Vengerance, so be it. Better Him than you. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

WATCH ME on the new Mission Revive podcast!

Posted on by

WATCH ME on the new Mission Revive podcast! Anne Costa is rebooting her podcast for her Revive-Hope and Healing Ministries! 

Quote: “Join Mission Revive’s hosts Anne Costa for a an informative podcast with our guest Paul Sofranko.

Paul is a sober alcoholic and revert to the Church who found continued sobriety in the Sacraments, devotions and prayer life of the Church.

He started Sober Catholic  back in 2007 after he had unsuccessfully searched all over for a blog or discussion site that focused on alcoholism and sobriety/recovery from a Catholic perspective. He created what he was looking for: a site that discusses how the Catholic Church, with Her rich traditions of Saints and miracles, and especially with Her Sacraments such as the Holy Eucharist and Confession, can help you maintain your sobriety.

He has also written several devotional books for sober (or sobering) Catholics. “The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts,” and “Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics” and more recently “The Sober Catholic Way.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)