Category Archives: Patience

Many are the troubles of the just

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This excerpt from the Responsorial Psalm for the Friday of the Fourth Week of Lent is from Psalm 34:19-20;

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.
Many are the troubles of the just man,
but out of them all the LORD delivers him.

Courtesy:  USCCB

Alcohol and addiction have broken you down; you are at your bottom: that place where you know that if you continue to drink it will kill you, but you know that if you stop drinking, the difficulty in coping without your crutch may only make you wish for death.

In looking at those options, you decide to choose the latter as that has some hope in it; hope for some kind of life.

At this time in your life, you were crushed in spirit; despairing of ever having a life that is respectable in some way. Perhaps not the one you dreamed of growing up, but a life that you’re not embarrassed about. 

Crushed in spirit, He reached down to you and saved your from the path you were on. You started a new life, perhaps with the aid of a recovery program, perhaps through a devotion to Matt Talbot or “just” using the Church and Her sacraments. Has life been all hummngbirds and marigolds? No, for many are the troubles of the just person, but out of them all the LORD delivers them. Just like He delivered you from the clutches of your addiction, He will deliver you from your troubles. Have faith (and patience) and make use of redemptive suffering: offer up your troubles and the pain they are causing you to the Lord for the redemption of not just yoiurself, but of others, too. 

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Available through these fine booksellers!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

BOOK REVIEW: “Encouraging Words to Live By: 365 Days of Hope for the Anxious and Overwhelmed” by Anne Costa

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“Encouraging Words to Live By: 365 Days of Hope for the Anxious and Overwhelmed” by Anne Costa was published through The Word Among Us Press in 2019, and I wish I had it back then as it would have helped me better deal with anxiety and recurring feelings of being overwhelmed.

The book is aptly named.

What is it about? 

From the site blurb:

Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or sad? Here is a collection of daily reflections that will lift your spirits and give you a sense of direction with reminders of God’s great love and acceptance. Drawing from Scripture, the wisdom of the saints, and pastoral expertise, Anne Costa has written a spiritual resource that will enable you to look upon each day with hope.

This book will help you (or a loved one) when overwhelmed by life or struggling with anxiety or depression to renew your connection with God and others.

Encouraging Words to Live By.

I began reading it this year (2026.) With the world and nation going increasingly insane and daily living threatened by the actions of stupid political leaders in ways previously unheard of (due to things being amplified by social media and 24/7 news channels) this book will provide a sane and soothing respite for the few minutes every day that you take to read and ponder the wisdom of Anne as well as from those sources she’s culled it from. You might even be inspired to grab your Bible afterwards and look up the Scripture passage.

My favorite day so far (and NOT the only one in my two weeks of reading) is the entry for January 5th. 

Excerpt: 

…How we talk to ourselves—the messages we send—can either feed or starve our souls. We shouldn’t let our inner chatter drown out the voice of God, who is love….

…Let the condemning thoughts die down like a distant echo and allow the whisper of the One who loves you fill your listening heart….

I think I need to place that page on my printer, make a copy, and tack it onto the wall next to me. I have mentioned at least once before about “inner voices” running me down. They typically sound like the voices of family members who had driven me to consider self-harm, but often it’s a generic voice not associated with any particular person. But it’s always a running critical commentary, but sometimes petty and ridiculous; like the source of the voice can’t come up with anything big so it resorts to something stupid. 

Each page has a quote from Scripture, followed by Anne’s “Encouraging Words,” basically a short inspirational passage she wrote, based on the Scripture passage and often tied to the liturgical feast of that day. The day’s reading concludes with a nice, short prayer. 

After I finish writing and publishing this review, I’m going to go back through the entries for January 1 through 16 and highlight certain passages, maybe scribble a note or underline with a pen.  I rarely do that, but when I do, it “annoints” the book with a sort of personal blessing. “This book is essential to my well-being” and “It’s important in helping me cope.” I’ll be keeping the highlighter and pen next to it. Within a few years the book will show evidence of heavy-duty highlighting, underlining, and annotating. There’s no entry for February 29: on that day I’ll just flip through and reread other days.

Where to get it:

The book’s page on Anne’s website: Encouraging Words to Live By on REVIVE Hope and Healing Ministries 

Through Amazon

Barnes and Noble (and check out the Nook sample!)

Or visit your nearby local bookshop (especially if you have a Catholic bookshop around!) and politely request that they carry it. Buy two, one for yourself and for someone you know.

Anne’s website is REVIVE Hope and Healing Ministries. They have a Prayer Community on Facebook. Check out her podcasts (DISCLAIMER: she interviewed me last year.  That DID NOT influence my review. If I didn’t like the book, I wouldn’t have reviewed it.) A full list of where you can listen is on Podbean. 

I hope you enjoy reading it! If you do, spread the word! People need this book!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hurt people hurt people

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I often run across memes online with the phrase “Hurt people hurt people.” This means that people who have been hurt turn around and hurt others. It is assumed that since they’ve never experienced any healing from the hurt, or even justice for it, the  wound festers and they respond by hurting others.

I sympathize with the rationale behind “hurt people hurt people.” It’s hard to be sensitive to other people’s pain when your own has never been completely healed, or the ones who hurt you seem to continue on happy and healthy as if nothing happened.

I do not always think that the pain rendered unto me by the actions of my family after my Mom died in 2005 has ever been completely dealt with, and certainly “justice” (however that is defined) has never been enacted. Nor has the pain from the trauma my sister visited upon me in 1995 been dealt with (I thought I had blogged about that incident, but I can’t find any post on it. So be it, let it rest, for now. 2025 is the 20th and 30th anniversaries of many traumas. The dates are coming up in a coiuple of months.) For all of that, it’s easy for me at times to be resentful and less than empathic towards others. I am a hurt person who once in a while hurts others. Bear in mind that everyone does this; but at least I know the source of where it comes from. We all walk around broken and wounded. The wounds are there; some healed over, others not so much. 

It is obvious from all this that people need healing, and that access to effective and affordable mental health resources is imperative. Also, people need to embrace forgiveness. If a hurt person cannot get access to mental health resources, then “forgiveness” may help as far as it goes.

There is one method by which a person who has been hurt can find healing and perhaps justice as well. Although much patience is required.

“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay.”

That is a passage from the Bible. You can’t get a better method of justice than God going to bat for you and doing unto others what should be done unto them.

St. Paul refers to it explicitly in his Letter to the Romans:

Romans 12: 17-19

“Render to no one harm for harm. Provide good things, not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of all men.

If it is possible, in so far as you are able, be at peace with all men.

Do not defend yourselves, dearest ones. Instead, step aside from wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is mine. I shall give retribution, says the Lord.”

St. Paul was quoting (“For it is written”) the Book of Deuteronomy 32:35: “Vengeance is mine, and I will repay them in due time, so that their foot may slip and fall.” 

Granted, this is something that will happen “in God’s time;” and while we would rather those who’ve hurt us to get their comeuppance in our lifetime (and quickly!) and maybe even being able to witness it; this is one of those things that it is better to wait for. God’s justice is sweeter when it happens when it’s supposed to. 

It is also important to note that the people on whom God will wreak His vengeance and justice on are those who are unrepentant. I think that if those who’ve hurt you realize the gravity of their actions and repent, even if they do not outright make amends to you, “somehow” God will pass a healing on to you. (Based on this, my family hasn’t repented; I have passed out of family history, mostly fogotten and unregarded. At best, a footnote mentioned at gatherings.)

Another Scripture verse harkens to this vengeance:

Psalm 23:5 “You set a table before me in front of my enemies…”

What better vengeance than for God to bestow His blessings on you in the sight of those who’ve hurt you? This could be in this life; your ‘enemies’ witnessed you moving on from the pain they’ve caused and you seem (outwardly, at least) unharmed.

But it could also be in the next life. You die and enter Heaven, joining in the celebrations of the “wedding feast of the Lamb (Rev 19:1-10).” That incredible eternal feast which takes place after the Second Coming and the final triumph of good over evil and the resurrection of the dead, where all the faithful gather in joyous union with the glorified Christ.

Just think about the possibility of your unrepentant and unforgiven enemies witnessing this from the tortures of Hell (which I think may be one way to increases their suffering.) These are the people who have willfully done you serious harm; whether it be crimes such as physical or psychological abuse, or something else (neglect, bigotry, prejudice…) They have also probably harmed many others. Now they are paying the price for their sins and deservedly so. 

Take heart, of sorts: there is no need for you to nurture the pain with in you as a reminder of past injuries, dwelling on the injustices done unto you and dreaming of a way to get even; or, worse, spread the pain onto others by treating them the same way you had been. For when a “hurt person” “hurts others,” they are no better than those who’ve hurt them. Worse, even for they know the pain and should be sensitive to that pain in others.

Leave it up to God. He knows exactly why those people hurt you. He knows what’s in their hearts and souls and He alone can wreak proper justice. If that includes Divine Vengerance, so be it. Better Him than you. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena for alcoholics to St. Onesimus begins!

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From an upcoming book I am writing:

St. Onesimus was mentioned in St. Paul’s Letter to Philemon. He was a slave who escaped and was later baptized, and served St. Paul before being sent back to his master. St. Onesimus’s faith in the Gospel of Jesus, preached by St. Paul, overcame an obvious reluctance to return to Philemon. His story can inspire alcoholics and addicts, who often struggle with doing what they often rather not do. St. Onesimus should be considered the patron saint of those who need courage to overcome their reluctance or natural aversion to doing something. 

And since his feast day is February 16th, this means that a novena to him begins either today, February 7th, or tomorrow, the 8th. Here is a prayer that In wrote for that “upcoming book.”

St. Onesimus, disciple and servant of St. Paul, you discovered the liberating graces of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Asked to return to a situation you would rather have avoided, please intercede on behalf of all alcoholics and addicts and show them how the courage of the Gospel can give them the strength and fortitude to do the rightful things they’d rather not do.

From an earlier post on St. Onesimus: 

In St. Paul’s Letter to Philemon, the Apostle reveals that Onesimus, a slave of Philemon who escaped, possibly with stolen property of his master’s, has been with him for some time and has been of valuable service. Onesimus has also been baptized and as such is now a brother in Christ to Paul and Philemon, as the latter is also a Christian. However Paul is convinced that due to the Christian charity that Philemon has shown in the past, he will take back Onesimus and greet him as a brother, equal in dignity and will not punish Onesimus or re-enslave him.

And so Onesimus is sent back to Philemon by Paul, with this Letter as a sort of greeting and passage.

I’ve always been intrigued by this. Imagine you’re Onesimus. You’ve been a slave. There must have been a reason why you escaped. Was Philemon cruel? Or did you just have an instinctive aversion to being considered property of another? You just saw an opportunity to leave and took it? Anyway, the punishment for escaped slaves was most likely death. Probably painful and not quick if you’re also guilty of theft. And now your new friend, whom you’ve been serving and who has treated you like an equal, a person, is sending you back to your old master. With full confidence that Philemon’s Christianity is all that is standing between you and a painful termination.

Would you want to return?

I didn’t think so. Me neither.

But Onesimus did. He probably did not go willingly, but apparently his faith in the Gospel of Jesus that Paul preached was enough to convince him that it is the right thing to do. So Onesimus’ faith overcame his possible very strong natural lack of inclination to return.

I think for that reason St. Onesimus should be of interest to alcoholics and addicts. Not that he was one, but we all do not want to do the things that we have to. Our addictive personality may make this disinclination stronger in us than in most people. “Normal” people can overcome unwillingness seemingly by just going ahead and doing the thing. But we have to use our spiritual toolkit to convince ourselves to “get going” and do the thing. We have our daily meditations, slogans and other aids to get us to do things that other people just do.

St. Onesimus can be our aid in this. Although I don’t think he is the patron saint of anything, he should be the Patron Saint of People Who Really Do Not Want to Do the Things That They Really Have to Do. ( I have to find a shorter, catchier term. “Patron Saint for People Who need Courage?” Still rather long…)

Read more on Saint Onesimus at SQPN.

Onesimus

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I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Mother Angelica is as helpful and inspiring today as she was decades ago

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 I couldn’t this morning decide what to watch on TV during the time I set aside for that before ‘beginning my day.’ Old reruns of “Sliders?” How about “Farscape?” “Babylon 5?” Maybe pick up where I left off during an interrupted binging of the original “Quantum Leap?” No, no, no, and no. I was restless in my indecision. Then I felt a tiny inspiration to watch classic Mother Angelica episodes on EWTN. And so I did!

Am I ever glad! 

I am, as usual, ‘going through stuff’ and I am awaiting a decision on a job application I made yesterday. And so I binged on Mother Angelica videos on EWTN and later YouTube for about 3 hours. Several were on fear, anxiety, and inner peace. I split my time between “Mother Angelica Live Classics” and “From the Heart with Mother Angelica” an older show I don’t think I’ve seen before.

I feel I’m being prepped for failure (I won’t get the job) or success (I’ll get it and properly cope with new job anxieties.) 

Either way, whatever happens, I feel like I received a grace today to cope with stuff. If the prayer is answered in the way that I hope it will, (I get the job) then “Yay!” If it gets answered ‘the other way,’ (I don’t get the job) then I’ll assume that God has other plans for me. I hope he lets me know what they are soon!

I cannot recommend watching Mother Angelica enough. I watched her programming quite a lot way back when, and I have read all the books she’s written and the ones edited or written by her biographer (Raymond Arroyo.) If you’re down, afraid, consumed with fear and anxiety, or are depressed, if you’re confused about anything: please go to the links I posted a few paragraphs above and just scroll through the offerings. If you’re suicidal, she has kind and loving things to say to you. She is a lifeline. She will help you pull back from the abyss.

“Mother Angelica Live Classics” is also available as audio-only. EWTN also has an audio-only version of  her EWTN call-in show, “Mother Angelica Answering the Call.” It’s about:

“Father Joseph Mary Wolfe and Doug Keck mine decades of viewer phone calls answered by Mother Angelica. Mother dishes out teaching, advice, laughter and plenty of prayers as she takes calls from her “Family”. No subject is off limits and no problem too big for the wisdom and compassion of the one and only, Mother Angelica!

I  listen to clips of this program on my local Catholic radio station (which is available to you on iCatholicRadio (available for the desktop or an iOS or Android app.) I may start listening to entire episodes: I need more Mother!

Mother Angelica is a balm, a healing remedy for these strange times which have gotten much worse since her shows aired. I kept thinking to myself “Imagine what she’d be saying nowadays!” She was four years younger than my Mom, but she’s always come across as a wise (-cracking) and loving Grandma who really cares about her family (all several million of us.)

I wish those folks down in Alabama would get started on her cause for beatification and canonization. If there was ever a woman who led a life of heroic virtue and who had a major, positive impact on millions of people worldwide, it’s Mother Mary Angelica of the Annunciation.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

How St. Rita can help those of us in recovery

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St. Rita, whose feast day is today, May 22nd, is the patroness of ‘impossible cases,’ as well as women in abusive marriages, mothers and those with serious illnesses and especially of wounds. A lot of that is appropriate for anyone in recovery, since we’ve experienced abuse and have given it, as well as succumbing to various illnesses. But there’s some more stuff thay I gleaned from reading a biography on her. (St. Rita: Saint of the Impossible)

In the opening chapters of her life, the words “humility and patience” kept being repeated. They were her tools to deal with many things afflicting her: her parents’ refusal to allow her to enter a convent, her abusive husband (and these tools were critical in converting him into being the model of a devoted husband,) her children who were intent on fulfilling a vendetta against her husband’s murderers, and her later illnesses in religious life.

Although her children were still intent on making good on the vendetta, out of fear for their immortal soul she prayed that God would either convert them or take them from life before they committed the mortal sin of murder. They died before they accomplished their task. That is interesting: how many would implore God to take their children’s lives to prevent a mortal sin? Rita was more concerned for her son’s immortal lives that their temporal existence. That is love; sacrificial love.

Her husband was afflicted with passions. I’m talking about explosive tempers, violent behavior, and riotous living. Those of us who are alcoholics and addicts can relate: even though we may not exhibit the abuse that her husband Paolo Mancini did, we often lack what is called ’emotional sobriety.’ We are ‘dry drunks’ from time to time or we otherwise display behavior ‘not quite serene’. We can ask St. Rita for help in this regard.

Passions, and our lack of control over them, can lead to other problems, such as being governed by anxiety and fear. Although anxiety and fear may be prudent feelings nowadays, we should not allow them to control us to the point of affecting our relations with other people as well as our own duties.

So, St. Rita has a lot to offer people in recovery. Apart from her traditional clients, her spirituality is one that can be of tremendous use for addicts and alcoholics in coping with the common travails of life.

So, look into her life. See about getting the book I linked to up above. I will soon post a list of resources on her life as well as on devotions to her.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

WWJD

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There’s a fad, mostly over, I think, concerning how a Christian should behave in a particular situation. “WWJD,” as in “What Would Jesus Do?” The implication is that He would be “nice.”

There’s a joke going around the Internet which suggests that whenever asked, “WWJD?,” you should state something like: “An acceptable response might be to grab a rope, make a whip out of it and go berserk against wrongdoers.”

An excerpt from the Gospel from today’s Mass for the Third Sunday of Lent:

John 2: 15-16

“And when he had made something like a whip out of little cords, he drove them all out of the temple, including the sheep and the oxen. And he poured out the brass coins of the moneychangers, and he overturned their tables.

And to those who were selling doves, he said: “Take these things out of here, and do not make my Father’s house into a house of commerce.””

via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

Jesus was angry. If you’ve been in a Twelve Step recovery program long enough, you’ll hear things like “anger is best used by people who can handle it,” which is essentially correct as we alcoholics, even after a long time in sobriety, have a difficult time with anger. We dwell on those things that make us angry, we obsess about them, and sometimes resentments develop.

Does this mean we should never become angry? An impossible task if you ask me. So it could suggest that we should “pick and choose” what we get angry about.

Of course, this takes practise. A recitation of the “Serenity Prayer” often throughout the day might help.

Also, anticipation of things that might happen during the course of your day is good, too. In any given normal day, certain situations arise which typically might make you want to reach for a whip and drive people away from you because they are annoying or irritating. Would that we could.

So plan ahead.

Another thing: the world is crazy and getting crazier. You might want to “pick and choose” what news you pay attention to. Don’t become an ostrich and plant your head in the sand and ignore the world; just be careful regarding your news intake (however you manage it – news sites, social media feeds, whatever.)

But what about righteous anger? Again, sometimes that “is best used by people who can handle it.” But I think that as Catholic Christians we should not take the easy way out and say that because “we’re alcoholics and addicts, we can’t deal with social problems since our sobriety might be threatened.” We have access to the Sacraments, namely the Mass and the Eucharist to help give us strength and courage. We can get interested in life issues, homelessness and poverty. We are called to do that. Within our means and abilities, yes, but we should not ignore problems for others to handle.

Again, the Serenity Prayer can help. Also the realization that we can do things in solidarity with others.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

An Exhortation to Persevere from the Book of Sirach

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While doing my morning meditations today I read the following passage from the Old Testament “Wisdom” Book, the Book of Sirach (Chapter 2, Verses 1-13). I found it to be a very good and hopeful exhortation to persevere in keeping faith with the Lord; for those who persevere to the end will be saved (as it says elsewhere in Scripture):

“Son, when you apply yourself to the service of God, stand in justice and in fear, and prepare your soul for temptation.
Humble your heart, and persevere. Incline your ear, and accept words of understanding. And you should not hurry away in the time of distress.
Endure steadfastly for God. Join yourself to God, and persevere, so that your life may increase in the very end.
Accept everything that will happen to you, and persevere in your sorrow, and have patience in your humiliation.
For gold and silver are tested in fire, yet truly, acceptable men are tested in the furnace of humiliation.
Believe God, and he will restore you to health. And straighten your way, and hope in him. Observe his fear, and grow old in it.
You who fear the Lord, wait for his mercy. And do not turn away from him, lest you fall.
You who fear the Lord, believe in him. And your reward will not be taken away.
You who fear the Lord, hope in him. And mercy will approach you, to your delight.
You who fear the Lord, love him. And your hearts will be illuminated.
My sons, consider the nations of men, and know that not one of them hoped in the Lord and was confounded.
For who has remained in his commandment and been abandoned? Or who has called upon him, and yet he despised him?
For God is upright and merciful, and he will forgive sins in the day of tribulation. And he is the Protector to all those who seek him in truth.”

via Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

There are countless “Daily Meditation” books available for people to use. But the very best is one you probably already have, the Bible! Particularly the so-called “Wisdom” books (Job, Psalms, Wisdom, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs and Sirach). All can be taken and read daily in little doses.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Gratitude: Wanting what you have

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In the rooms of AA, I’ve learned that gratitude means “wanting what you have.” At first I had thought this was silly and trite. Of course, I “want what I have!” But upon further thinking it became obvious the trite phrase has a deeper meaning.

In our alcoholism, one drink was never enough. The idea of just having one rarely enjoyed consideration. If one is good, then ten is awesome! Only ten?

And so we eventually found out the detrimental side effects of this attitude. If you’re an alcoholic, you know what those are.

But if you’re in recovery, even for a long while, a type of addictive thinking can still affect you. You may be dissatisfied with your material possessions. What you have isn’t enough. A better car, bigger residence, nicer computer, a smartphone with more bells and whistles, whatever, what you own that actually serves your needs somehow is no longer satisfying.

I think this is still a residual addiction. Although you no longer drink, the addictive side of your personality still craves something more. Not satisfied, it comes up with justifications for wanting more.

Many times in meetings you hear the phrase, “Stick with the winners.” It is good advice for newcomers; they are told to seek out those in sobriety who “have what they want,” namely a good, sustained quality of sobriety. Unfortunately, some use the trappings of materialism to determine that good sobriety. The idea is that after you’ve been sober for a while, you begin to recover many things that were lost, including material wealth. If you never had it, then you’ll get it. It is even inferred in the so-called “Twelve Promises,” found on Page 83 of AA’s “Big Book.” (See the online version at Alcoholics Anonymous. It is available as a PDF.)

Somewhere I’ve heard that to determine who’s a “winner,” you check out the vehicles people drive away from meetings in. The better, the more “successful.” There are other ways of determining material success, of course.

To me, the only real manner in which a person should be judges on their sobriety, how much of a “winner” they are, is how long have they been sober? Do they take life in stride? Have they been the target of a lot of “stuff” that life throws at them? Do they bear their Crosses well?

Although I’ve typically loathed discussions on ‘”gratitude” during meetings, I have now come to realize that gratitude is an essential tool in recovery, for it helps to retard or curtail “addictive thinking” elsewhere, and especially the draw of materialism. In my previous post, Be transformed!, I quoted Jesus’ saying “What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?”

Indeed!

It is not enough to just maintain sobriety, one also has to express gratitude for it, but also for everything else one has in life. If you are truly grateful for what you have, and your needs are consistently supplied, then you will have little desire for the “wants,” as they are rarely what you “need.”

Focusing on your “wants” is an addictive thought process: it means you are not satisfied with your needs, and you want more. Just as “one drink” was never enough, whatever you have in life now may not be enough, even though it adequately supplies your needs.

Think about it. Sometime ago, you got some “things.” They were fine and supplied your needs. Then they no longer did, or so it seemed, and so you got “more things.” After a while, it happened again; they no longer seemed sufficient and you went out and got “still more things.”

Really? Was all that necessary? What was different between the time you had just the “things” and then “more things,” and so on to “still more things?” What changed? Did they really not satisfy your needs, or was the accumulation just serving your “wants?” On Page 559 of AA’s “Big Book” there’s a line that says something like “our needs, which are always satisfied; and our wants, which never are.” I think that is the core. Our “wants” never are satisfied and so we desire “more.” Even though our needs were taken care of. That’s addictive thinking. One drink isn’t enough. Another is needed. And another. And so it is with material possessions. The car we drive isn’t good enough. (Yes it is, we just don’t want to see it. We see people in AA meetings drive better ones and we have to show our success in sobriety and get a newer one.) The computer we have isn’t powerful or fast enough. (Yes it is, we just feel self-conscious when we don’t have the latest Mac or Windows PC. That machine is from 2006???)

I am just putting this out there for consideration and discernment. Just an admonishment towards those who do see success in material terms. I do notice many people in recovery have a more relaxed attitude towards material possessions and are truly grateful for what they have. After all, there’s a reason why “gratitude” is a popular topic in meetings. We need to hear it, perhaps there’s an understanding of the danger in not being grateful for what we have. Especially since many have lost so much.I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Walk With the Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots, Day 9

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Today is Day 9 and thus the final one in our Novena of Mary Undoer of Knots. We ask Mary’s intercession for “this knot in my life…You know very well the suffering it has caused me…”

So, what knot is it? Is it the same one you may have prayed about daily, or one of the more knotty ones from a particular day? (A rhetorical question, don’t post the knot in the comments!)

Ponder, meditate and offer up this knot for Mary to undo. Offer up all the pain, trauma and suffering it has brought into your life. Let Mary’s maternal love work its healing into you…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)