“The Way”

Posted on December 27, 2015 by paulcoholic

This isn’t really a movie review. I am expressing gratitude for a film. Which one? The Way, starring Martin Sheen and directed by his son, Emilio Estevez.

I purchased the DVD a few weeks ago and recently found the time to watch it. I can’t say enough about it… I viewed it twice in one day last week and once again today. I feel compelled to watch it again before 2015 is over, which means I’ll be up early tomorrow morning to pop it in the DVD player right after Morning Prayer.

As the movie is over 5 years old, I won’t worry about ruining it with “spoilers,” besides, I don’t think knowing what happens harms the experience of watching the film.

In short, Martin Sheen plays Tom Avery, a Ventura County, California eye doctor whose son, Daniel, played by Emilio Estevez, is travelling about the world because he has to get it out of his system. Daniel is a Ph. D candidate who decides to not finish his dissertation. He determines that the real world is more important than ivory towers. And so he goes off to China, Nepal and elsewhere.

Near the beginning of the movie, we learn that he is in France. And shortly after, Tom learns through a phone call from the French gendarmerie that Daniel was killed in a freak storm in the French Pyrenees. Tom travels to France to claim the remains and return home. Once there, he learns from the French gendarme who notified him of Daniel’s death that Daniel died while going on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. “The Camino” is a 1,000 year-old pilgrimage ending up at the Tomb of St. James the Apostle. If you do a search for that, you’ll learn much more than I can tell you here; clicking on the movie link in the first paragraph is a good start.

After Tom learns of Daniel’s pilgrimage and goes through the gear that was found on his body, he impulsively decides to finish Daniel’s journey. This is not something that one “just decides to do,” for the Camino is about 500 miles long and training is usually required. Tom is over 60. Did I mention that you have to walk it? (But this is a movie, after all… but… perhaps there is a lesson here?)

And so Tom takes Daniel’s gear as well as Daniel (his body was cremated), and starts.

Tom begins the journey and meets numerous people along the Way. Although consumed by his son’s death and the accompanying grief, he reluctantly gathers three companions for the trip. Joost from Amsterdam is the first, and he is doing the Camino to lose weight. His wife no longer wants to be “intimate” with him and he’s had warnings from his doctor. Sarah from Canada is next, she says that she’s doing the Camino to quit smoking. (There’s another reason, which I won’t disclose.) Finally joining the group is Jack from Ireland. He’s a travel writer who is afflicted with writer’s block. He’s there to write a book on the Camino (interviewing pilgrims) and get “unblocked.”

And then stuff happens, 😉 finishing with their arrival at St. James’ Cathedral. (Do they know how to build Cathedrals, or what???)

It is a deceptively simple movie; seeing it several times so quickly keeps me “in it” and enables me to pick out certain things I otherwise would have missed. In other words, the movie remains fresh and seeing it again so soon helps me to add layers of comprehension. It is also not a typical film, very character- and idea-driven, unlike most Hollywood movies.

I now have a tremendous desire to go on Camino, although I doubt it will happen due to physical and financial issues. Bursitis in my arms, arthritis in my shoulders and feet (the feet also have bone spurs/calcified deposits – complications from old sprains) hinder me.

Why did I say that “I am expressing gratitude for” the film? Going “on Camino” is a basic theme of my recovery; “trudging the road of happy destiny” is an AA phrase for a journey for personal recovery (namely, “life.”) I am “here,” I need to go “there,” and going through whatever is in the way is my path. I am a firm believer that the journey is a part of the destination. A journey, or passage, is a symbol for me of conversion and transformation.

This is why the film “spoke to me,” and why I have these compulsions to watch it repeatedly. It’ll pass, it’s not like I’ll be obsessed with it and will end up watching it 500 times (well, maybe over a thirty-year span…) Right now it’s a new discovery that I’m going to enjoy in the near future and many times beyond.

“The Way” is undoubtedly now one of my favorite movies (the list includes “Casablanca.”)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Remember the lonely and the lost…

Posted on December 25, 2015 by paulcoholic

Today is Christmas, the Solemnity of the Nativity of the Lord. For many people it is a happy day, a time for family gatherings with lots of food and gifts and good times with memories to last.

For others, not so much.

Remember those who are lost today. Those who are lonely, have no family, or if they do, are estranged from them. Those who wander about with no hope.

Remember those who are homeless.

Remember those who are jobless and have to endure the humiliation of that state when they gather with family. Being unemployed anytime is horrible enough, but around the holidays it can be particularly embarrassing and humiliating. The personal degradation that you feel while among family members and they know you are out of work. They look at you, speak to you…

Remember those who have to work today…

Remember those who are just going through a rough time; a time of transition and change. The worst Christmas I ever had was ten years ago, Christmas Day 2005. My Mom had died in early November and just before Christmas the executor of her estate informed me that I had to get out of the house (I had been living with Mom for the previous ten years) so the estate can move forward with the sale. I suppose that if I had thought about it at the time I might have coped better, being forced to move might have made me meditate and ponder on the homelessness and wanderings of the Holy Family as they were on the move for the census mandated by the Emperor. Not to put my situation on a par with theirs at all, but the issue could have been handled with far more compassion.

But the executor had little use for compassion and understanding as they are merely baggage that reminds one of your own humanity.

And so after being told that I had to leave within thirty days, I drove about the county in a suicidal mood. The roads were icy and snowy and I was seeking out an appropriate place to ditch the car with me in it in a fatal accident. The “eviction” was the last straw; having been a punching bag for the executor and held with cold indifference by certain other family members was enough. This nearly broke me. I did have the presence of mind to call my priest who “just happened to know someone” who might have an apartment to rent. He did, and so I spent Christmas Day 2005 moving, hauling carload after carload of possessions across town. Alone, just me, as there was no one available to assist.

I knew “aloneness.”

I apologize for the downer post on Christmas, but perhaps you can spend a few moments thinking about those who are spending Christmas in a situation not at all similar to a warm and rosy holiday setting. Offer something up to help them cope.

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Try and make amends before it’s too late

Posted on December 20, 2015 by paulcoholic

I blogged earlier about an online friend’s sudden death.

Given the nature of Sober Catholic, I will offer an exhortation to those who have yet to make amends to people they need to (or have to). Do so, for the time will come when they will die and the opportunity will be lost.

I understand perfectly well the resistance to approaching people and trying to make up for the damage done while drinking or drugging. Sometimes it is not possible as trying to will only do more harm than good. Use your conscience or speak with a sponsor or bring it up at a meeting, if needed.

But at least consider the possibility that they person may not be around when you finally decide to repair the relationship.

NOTE: The lady who died wasn’t someone with whom I needed to make an amends. Her death was sudden, and that is what prompted these posts.

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

From sudden and unprovided death, deliver us, O Lord

Posted on December 20, 2015 by paulcoholic

I learned today that an online friend died when she was hit by a truck while crossing a street. She passed away later at the hospital. She received Last Rites before she died.

The suddenness of any death typically provokes a reaction of shock and dismay. Someone is there, and then suddenly gone. The quickness is a reminder that we, too, can suddenly be “called home.” We know not the day nor the hour of our passing. We must always be prepared as if today will be our last. But who really does this?

The suddenness of someone’s death also provokes another reaction: that of a desire to quickly think about the living and how we never really appreciate them while they are still with us. I suppose that this is essentially taking people for granted, but I also think that it is a symptom that we do not have death always in mind. It is always a distant, abstract thing. We know it will happen, we prefer not to think about it.

So, death is a distant thing from our minds and the permanence of people in our lives is assumed.

I think if we reverse this on both notions then culture and civilization will be far more peaceful and compassionate.

Incidentally, the lady who died was in recovery, she had purchased both of my Catholic devotional books and enjoyed them, bringing them frequently to Adoration to meditate with. So, her death was a little sensitive for me. I am truly saddened by her loss.

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)