The excerpt from the Psalmody for Evening Prayer I for the Solemnity of the Annunciation on the Tuesday in the 5th week of Lent (that’s a mouthful) is from Psalm 113:7.
From the dust he lifts up the lowly, from his misery he raises the poor.
As alcoholics and addicts we were shunned and cast off towrds the margins of decent society. And rightfully so, for our actions caused this. Nevertheless, God loves each and everyone of us as we are, even in the depths of our sins. He made us, how can it be otherwise? We all have equal dignity in His eyes regardless of our worldly status. So, when He sees us deep in our addiction, He is at the ready to help. Sometimes He waits for us to reach out to Him, and at other times He doesn’t wait.
Just as Mary said “Yes,” to when the Archangel Gabriel announced to her that the Holy Spirit desriref to overshadow her so as the Second Person of the trinity could manifest Himself in her and redeem the world, you can say “Yes” to Him and become another Christ-bearer to others.
And He is not frightening, either. This is why He came to the world as an infant. God, the Creator of All, King of the Universe (and Multiverse, if that exists) entered intto human existence as a baby. He humbled umself that much just so as to be approachable. If it helps you to approach God in thaty manner, that is, regarding Him as an infant, that is perfectly acceptable! There is a old, venerable Catholic devotion known as the Devotion to the Infant Jesus (usually involving the “Infant Jesus of Prague.”)
BY THE WAY: THIS ISN’T A DEVOTION FOR WOMEN, ONLY! Although it appears that women would be more attracted to this, it is a great way for men to learn humility.
These websites have detailed information on the devotion to the Infant Jesus.
This is similar to the lesson for Lord, on the day I called for help, you answered me. The day of your distress could have been any day during your active addiction; or it could have been your last, that day when you finally cried out to the Lord for help. It may not have been a literal prayer to God, but just a scream from the depths of your soul. Nevertheless, he did not hide His face from you but answered you. And now you are clean and sober (or soon to be.) Keep on the path, pray every day so that he hears your daily cries for help, or words of gratitide and praise. God is your partner in this and He leads you along the Way.
This is a followup to Hurt People Hurt People. It was originally published on Paul Sofranko Space, but I edited it for Sober Catholic. It describes how a person might become an ‘antagonist,’ but for a fictional setting; this may be added to the backstory of a character in a novel I’m working on. I firmly believe that writing has tremendous therapeutic value, and writing fiction is a way to deal with trauma. This post explores how a “bad person,” maybe a “hurt person who hurts others” got that way in the first place. While it is easy to create bad people who are just evil, it is more realistic to show how root causes have driven them to be who they are; all of which could have been avoided. Perhaps they can be redeemed.
This is drawn from personal traumas I referred to the the “Hurt people…” post (the 1995 incident referred to but I didn’t reveal; and the 2005 death of my Mom and the aftermath,) although some elements in it are speculative or conjectural.
There are two people, Person A (“PA”) and Person B (“PB”). PA also has accomplices or people sympathetic, but PA is the ringleader; possibly through fear and intimidation. PB is mostly alone.
PA and accomplices had screwed over PB to the point of driving him to consider suicide. PB is figuratively broken, bruised, bloodied and wounded and is cast aside. He is left to wondering “Why?”
This had poured salt into a wound created years before when PA grievously harmed PB with unjust accusations. PB had been wondering “Why?” about that ever since; this new event just made things worse, hence the consideration of suicide. PB’s discovery through one of PA’s accomplices that PA doesn’t even remember this older event just adds salt to the wound.
The “Whys?” were never addressed. PB never gets answers. PA, et al., have moved on from the event and put it behind them; after all, they were the antagonists and know the “Whys?” (if there were actually any) and have dealt with whatever they need to. Not so with PB. For him, hurt and pain continue and becomes an integral part of his existence. Without understanding the “Whys?” PB never fully recovers and is changed for the worse.
PB struggles with things and tries to relate best to the reality about him but feels alone as no one really stood up and defended him during the events; and afterward others are uncomfortable or indifferent; as such he trusts others little and presumes bad motives. He tried to defend himself during the horrors, but was out gunned and outnumbered. PB also had a weak and vulnerable base from which to defend himself, being faced with certain survival issues at the same time.
His obsession with PA and the others (his frequent dwelling on the “Whys?” and such,) and wishing it never happened or fantasizing about vengeance or at least something happening to bring about justice, and knowing that it will probably never come to pass has lead PB to become something of an antagonist himself; while wanting to be “good,” he feels he cannot risk that and needs to put himself and his feelings first.
Meanwhile, PA and the others are to all appearances “good people,” and if they bother to discuss the events at all, it is to the disparagement of PB. As PB isn’t around to defend himself and no one else is willing to defend him, his reputation suffers. Only one side of the story gets told.
So, a combination of time leading PB to become “bad” in the eyes of PA and accomplices, and PA, et al., becoming “good” has only worsened things for PB. PB was the victim; he never deserved the treatment. But due to powerlessness and no healing because PB never learned “Why?” has stunted PB and left him emotionally back where everything took place. And thus PB is ‘bad,’ not ‘evil’ but due to the woundedness and lack of answers leading to justice and healing, PB’s actions are difficult.
PB is not a “whiner,” nor one who touts “victimhood.” He had difficulty in “getting over it” but is one who is truly wounded and has never gotten the needed healing or justice.
The only thing that can heal PB is justice and knowledge. He has to know why the treatment was meted out almost to the point of driving him to suicide. PA and accomplices have to make amends, both psychological and emotional. Material amends would be a bonus, but PB knows that will never happen. (PB perhaps suffered some material loss in income over his inability to manage and cope for a while.) At any rate, PA and the others have to make certain sacrifices to undo the harm they caused.
So, that’s it. A person is a victim of unjust action which were never redressed. The hurt party is still wounded despite time and some attempts at healing, but lingering issues prevent full healing. Hence, the pain has transformed him into an ‘antagonist.’ (This is where this fictional exercise departs from any “autobiographical” account. In fiction, we can safely explore the “What ifs.”) PB is wounded and that woundedness causes him to wound others. The degree to which he becomes an antagonist varies: there is him merely being a jerk, all the way to him becoming single-mindedly focused on achieving world domination and bending people to his will, severely punishing others in the process. He says “Mwuahahahahahahahaha!” a lot.
I often run across memes online with the phrase “Hurt people hurt people.” This means that people who have been hurt turn around and hurt others. It is assumed that since they’ve never experienced any healing from the hurt, or even justice for it, the wound festers and they respond by hurting others.
I sympathize with the rationale behind “hurt people hurt people.” It’s hard to be sensitive to other people’s pain when your own has never been completely healed, or the ones who hurt you seem to continue on happy and healthy as if nothing happened.
I do not always think that the pain rendered unto me by the actions of my family after my Mom died in 2005 has ever been completely dealt with, and certainly “justice” (however that is defined) has never been enacted. Nor has the pain from the trauma my sister visited upon me in 1995 been dealt with (I thought I had blogged about that incident, but I can’t find any post on it. So be it, let it rest, for now. 2025 is the 20th and 30th anniversaries of many traumas. The dates are coming up in a coiuple of months.) For all of that, it’s easy for me at times to be resentful and less than empathic towards others. I am a hurt person who once in a while hurts others. Bear in mind that everyone does this; but at least I know the source of where it comes from. We all walk around broken and wounded. The wounds are there; some healed over, others not so much.
It is obvious from all this that people need healing, and that access to effective and affordable mental health resources is imperative. Also, people need to embrace forgiveness. If a hurt person cannot get access to mental health resources, then “forgiveness” may help as far as it goes.
There is one method by which a person who has been hurt can find healing and perhaps justice as well. Although much patience is required.
“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay.”
That is a passage from the Bible. You can’t get a better method of justice than God going to bat for you and doing unto others what should be done unto them.
St. Paul refers to it explicitly in his Letter to the Romans:
Romans 12: 17-19
“Render to no one harm for harm. Provide good things, not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of all men.
If it is possible, in so far as you are able, be at peace with all men.
Do not defend yourselves, dearest ones. Instead, step aside from wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is mine. I shall give retribution, says the Lord.”
St. Paul was quoting (“For it is written”) the Book of Deuteronomy 32:35: “Vengeance is mine, and I will repay them in due time, so that their foot may slip and fall.”
Granted, this is something that will happen “in God’s time;” and while we would rather those who’ve hurt us to get their comeuppance in our lifetime (and quickly!) and maybe even being able to witness it; this is one of those things that it is better to wait for. God’s justice is sweeter when it happens when it’s supposed to.
It is also important to note that the people on whom God will wreak His vengeance and justice on are those who are unrepentant. I think that if those who’ve hurt you realize the gravity of their actions and repent, even if they do not outright make amends to you, “somehow” God will pass a healing on to you. (Based on this, my family hasn’t repented; I have passed out of family history, mostly fogotten and unregarded. At best, a footnote mentioned at gatherings.)
Another Scripture verse harkens to this vengeance:
Psalm 23:5 “You set a table before me in front of my enemies…”
What better vengeance than for God to bestow His blessings on you in the sight of those who’ve hurt you? This could be in this life; your ‘enemies’ witnessed you moving on from the pain they’ve caused and you seem (outwardly, at least) unharmed.
But it could also be in the next life. You die and enter Heaven, joining in the celebrations of the “wedding feast of the Lamb (Rev 19:1-10).” That incredible eternal feast which takes place after the Second Coming and the final triumph of good over evil and the resurrection of the dead, where all the faithful gather in joyous union with the glorified Christ.
Just think about the possibility of your unrepentant and unforgiven enemies witnessing this from the tortures of Hell (which I think may be one way to increases their suffering.) These are the people who have willfully done you serious harm; whether it be crimes such as physical or psychological abuse, or something else (neglect, bigotry, prejudice…) They have also probably harmed many others. Now they are paying the price for their sins and deservedly so.
Take heart, of sorts: there is no need for you to nurture the pain with in you as a reminder of past injuries, dwelling on the injustices done unto you and dreaming of a way to get even; or, worse, spread the pain onto others by treating them the same way you had been. For when a “hurt person” “hurts others,” they are no better than those who’ve hurt them. Worse, even for they know the pain and should be sensitive to that pain in others.
Leave it up to God. He knows exactly why those people hurt you. He knows what’s in their hearts and souls and He alone can wreak proper justice. If that includes Divine Vengerance, so be it. Better Him than you.
If you aren’t already a reader of this blog, please let me introduce myself. My name is Paul Sofranko, aka “Paulcoholic” and I’ve been doing this blog for 18 years. I found nothing much like it and so I launched it in early January 2007. You can read more about its story on this page. You can read some more about me on this page, I tell my drunkalogue right here; and here’s my reversion story and here’s a post about my miraculous Militia of the Immaculata hat.
There are 54 days beginning with Ash Wednesday and ending on Divine Mercy Sunday. The very Sunday when the floodgates of God’s unfathomable ocean of Mercy open up and spill out over every sinner who in humility begs for forgiveness is very day the completion of a Miraculous 54 day Rosary Novena ends!
Think about that. Are you still trapped in the miseries of alcoholism and drug addiction? Or, do you know someone who is? This may be the perfect time for deliverance from that slavery. And it may not even be for alcoholics and drug addicts. Sex and porn addicts, take comfort! Your deliverance may be at hand! You will be beseeching the Blessed Virgin Mary, the very Mother of Purity, for her intercession to liberate you from lust! How can she not help you? Visit this post for more info, including hown to pray the novena: Announcing a Miraculous 54 Day Rosary Novena for Alcoholism and Addiction Recovery (and other sins!)
Now, on to what brought you here!
Bear made me mention my book, “The Sober Catholic Way’s” title about 700 times on the show 😉
“The Sober Catholic Way” is a basic handbook on how anyone can live a sober life. This book does not guarantee anything, but doing these things have helped me stay since May 22, 2002. Will I ever drink again? Quite unlikely, but the tools to help recover from a relapse are in every chapter! The love and mercy of God is everlasting and endless!
Discover the importance of the Real Presence, the Rosary, the Stations of the Cross, St. Joseph, St. Therese (the “Little Flower”) and Matt Talbot. You’ll get ideas on how to apply the Beatitudes, the Divine Mercy Message, as well as learning about the Apparitions of Our Lady at Guadalupe, Lourdes and Fatima and how they can guide one’s life.
The idea for the book germinated one day after I was reviewing Sober Catholic’s posts. I realized that I hadn’t thought or done much about many of the things I had written about. This culminated in the realization that I have not always practiced what I’ve been “preaching” and therefore thought it might do me some good to organize much of the material into a coherent form that would help me reduce my hypocrisy. Seconds later I decided it might make for a nice book to publish and take its place next to my earlier Catholic recovery devotionals, “The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts” and “The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics.”
You can get it here (links to the Rosary and Stations book follow):
You might try this Universal link: here and click on the logo of your fave online bookshop. (Some of the logos have trackers in them and these may be blocked by browser extensions. That’s why I listed them individually right above this.)
I have two other books that might interest you!
Do you like saying the Rosary? Well, have I got a devotional for you!
“The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts” helps people to reflect on their recovery and relationships with others, and ultimately with Jesus Himself. Whether people are still struggling with their addictions, or have been clean and sober for a few weeks, months, or years, the reflections will lead them to meditate on the spiritual growth they have achieved so far. The book takes a time-honored prayer and brings it into a useful format for people to pause and reflect on their recovery, their relationships with others, and ultimately with Jesus Himself. Whether people are still struggling with their addictions, or have been clean and sober for a few weeks or months, or many years, the reflections for each Mystery of the Rosary will help them meditate on the spiritual growth they have achieved so far. Over the years, their thoughts on each meditation may change, depending on “where they’re at” in their recovery journey. It’s also available through Amazon and B&N and other retailers; vist the link in this paragraph’s first sentence.
And that’s not all!
Lent is coming up, and if you need some assistence with the Stations of the Cross, then The “Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is a book that is rooted in an ancient Catholic devotion. It is intended to assist Catholics and other Christians find deeper meaning in their struggles with alcoholism, by connecting the oftentimes hard road of sobriety with Jesus’ suffering road to His Crucifixion. The reader sees that their old alcoholic ‘self’ is being led to the Cross and the joy of eventual resurrection of a new sober self can follow. Whether they are still drinking and struggling, or have been sober for many years and still have difficulties coping with sobriety, this book should help readers maintain that sobriety.
Wait! There’s more!
It is still in its nascent stages but I’m beginning to sell online products related to Sober Catholic at my Shop Sober Catholic store on Pixels———> ARTWORK BY SOBERCATHOLIC.
Imagine drinking your hot, deelish coffee (or tea or hot chocolate!) in a mug with the logo of your favorite Catholic sobriety and spirituality blog!!! Just click on the words or the image below! You can even customze the color! Blue, brown, yellow, green, whatever you prefer! It also comes in two sizes: “Small” is 11 oz, while “Large” is 15oz! (You can click on the images to buy…)
The first Scripture verse I memorized was Romans 12:2.
“And do not choose to be conformed to this age, but instead choose to be reformed in the newness of your mind, so that you may demonstrate what is the will of God: what is good, and what is well-pleasing, and what is perfect.”
I thought it perfect for a mug as it recalls the essence of the Sober Catholic message. In our Catholic sobriety, we do not conform to the World, but in our newly sober life, we follow the will of God and do what is good and pleasing to Him.
There are other products, such as a throw pillow: Sober Catholic Throw Pillow and a weekender tote bag: Sober Catholic Tote Bag, for example, as well as the official Sober Catholic Rosary Case! At 6”x4” this is perfect to keep your Rosary and even Divine Mercy Chaplet handy! And like everything else, you can customize the color!
It also comes in a larger size, which should be big enough to store your copies of “The Sober Catholic Way,” as well as my Rosary and Stations books, or, if you prefer, a good Catholic Bible. 🙂
Today (Oct. 28) is the feast day of St. Jude Thaddeus (it’s also shared with St. Simon the Zealot, but St. Jude is the subject of this post.)
St. Jude was one of the Apostles of Our Lord and is the author of the Epistle of Jude in the New Testament. He is often called the “brother of Our Lord,” but this is an extended meaning of the term “brother,” in reality Jude was the cousin of Jesus as Semitic languages lack the word for “cousin.” He is often depicted with having a flame about his head; this symbolizes his presence at the first Pentecost and also distinguishes him from Judas Iscariot, the traitor of Jesus, who is quite likely covered in flames of a different sort. St. Jude is also often depicted with a plate or shield with Jesus’ image on it; legend has that he carried this with him and it healed people.
He was martyred by beheading circa 65AD.
I’ve never had all that much of a devotion to St. Jude, mainly because there is so much pop Catholic cultural “stuff” about him. Prayer cards and booklets and so on readily available in parishes, items in the classified sections of newspapers in response to favors granted (and that you are guaranteed a favorable response to your St. Jude novena if you promise to publish the novena for nine consecutive days. This is borderline superstitious as prayer doesn’t really work that way.) All this served to be a little “off-putting” for me, and despite having tons of these prayer cards stashed in a wooden box where I keep excess pious items, I never gave him much thought.
Until yesterday and today. I have been trying to recruit more saints and blesseds to intercede for us alcoholics. For that reason, as well as that I am compiling a prayer book for sober Catholics and I want it to exceed expectations by having numerous saints in there that people do not know about (or who are not typically associated with ex-drunks; St. Dismas is one. ) While I was pondering him yesterday, St. Rita of Cascia also came to mind as she’s important to me (there is a point to this, please bear with me.) She is known as the patronness of impossible cases, just like St. Jude. (Maybe that’s another reason why I never developed much of a devotion to him?) But yesterday I got to thinking about St. Jude, and decided that another saint dedicated to helping hopeless cases could work. He and St. Rita could team up. Based on where I’m at right now (more on that later) I decided to think about cultivating a relationship with him. And I let that slide until today.
And so I looked through that wooden box where I’ve kept all those “excess pious items” and found a bunch of prayer cards. I read them over and they hit me. Yes, I need his help. AND I can begin blogging about him now and then and perhaps those of you who do not have a devotion to him can see the value in it.
And so I just recruited St. Jude to be an advocate and patron saint of alcoholics and addicts. The thought occurred to me that what with all the devotions surrounding him regarding being the patron saint of hopeless and desperate cases, he’d be a perfect intercessor for us. Now we alcoholics and addicts have TWO Apostles in our corner, the other being St. Matthias.
I mentioned a few paragraphs above about “where I’m at.” Due to a variety of circumstances, things are a bit stressed financially at the moment, although they should improve come Springtime when Social Security begins for me and my wife and I begin the process of relocating to a more affordable residence. If you’d like to help out by assisting in bridging the gap between now and then, you can do that in two ways:
One, by paypalling me whatever you can spare at: PayPal Paul Sofranko. Thank you! (It is NOT tax-deductible. It wouldn’t be an act of charity, then.) You can also mail a check, payable to: Paul Sofranko; and send it to: P.O. Box 358; North Boston, NY 14110.
“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” is a call to arms, or rather, a call to pens, paintbrushes, and video cameras, for creative Catholics to take up St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe’s call to infiltrate pop culture and help alleviate the ills that pervade contemporary society. St. Maximilian saw back in the 1920s how the use of cinema, radio, and mass-market books was corrupting society. He thought that those same tools could be used as a countercultural force to overcome this corruption.
Furthermore, it explains through the example of three critical apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary at Guadalupe, Lourdes, and Fatima how she herself suggested strategies and alternatives to the dehumanizing and increasingly pagan contemporary culture we have today.
“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” concludes by showing how the Catholic Faith can be used to provide a road map out of our current morass and a blueprint to build a more just and fair society constructed according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy and other elements of traditional Catholic Social Teachings.
Are you a happy Sober Catholic? Then Shop Sober Catholic! That page offers a selction from the many other products, such as T-shirts, mugs, rosary cases and zippered book cases, stickers for your laptop, smartphone cases, and much more! You can see the entire product line at The Sober Catholic Pixels Shop!
I just added some new products, including some featureing St. Jude and a prayer I wrote for alcoholcs and addicts! (It may not be available, yet, so please check back later. Actually, I will probably blog about it when it hits the general public.)
Thank you for reading this far, as well as for whatever assistance you can provide. It is greatly appreciated and I will add you to my prayers.
I went on a retreat this weekend and didn’t even realize it.
I’ve been feeling a combination of being ‘sorry for myself’ and dealing with recurring stress and anxiety (who isn’t these days?) Much of my stress is over chronic pain (fibromyalgia, arthritis, osteoarthritis… if it’s a muscle or a joint, it hurts. And hurts really bad, too. Plus I’ve had two tooth extractions over the past month. Can anyone say “Broken down, crotchety old man?” Not to mention that I’ve been plagued for the past few months by a voice in my head that has been repeatedly putting me down.
And so I opened Mother Angelica’s Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality and read a few passages on pain, meaning accepting it and the benefits of offering it up. I knew all this as I continually ‘offer it up’ for the usual devotional suggestions (reparation for sins – mine, yours, other people’s; reparations for sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary; for the conversion of sinners; for saving souls…….)
And so I felt better. But I could feel even more better. So I watched a few of her classic programs on EWTN On-Demand. I caught one on using the scraps of your life. “Scraps,” according to Mother, are those things in your past that you cannot let go of. All the mistakes, the stupid, rotten, bad things you’ve done or were done to you, traumas perpetrated against you, and so forth that still haunt you. I know all about scraps; they are the fuel for my fiction writing. I am a firm believer that writing is a form a therapy. Even if you don’t publish a word, creating stories in which you dump all the dumb things you’ve ever done or traumas you’ve experienced to flesh out characters and backstory helps your perspective on them. It also objectifies the pain. But she went on about how the scraps can be used to sanctify yourself. That the scraps of you past life can make you sensitive other people who also are carrying bags of scraps. People who are hurt often are more sensitive to other people who are hurt.
That latter sentence is where I have some difficulty at times. I’ve seen social media memes that say something like “Hurt people hurt other people.” Meaning that hurt people often lash out at others. Their pain causes them to make others feel pain. (This is often the reason why the ‘bad guys’ in fiction often become bad guys. Something bad happened to them long ago, they never got help or justice and so their pain festered and transformed them into a ‘bad guy’ and they kill a lot of people, or rampage across the galaxy enslaving entire species or go around blowing up planets or are just truly wicked. I wrote about that on my other blog.
The “where I have some difficulty ‘at times’” is the feeling that lashing out at others can be justified if the ‘bad guy’ never got justice, help or some kind of moral satisfaction against whoever perpetrated the evil done to him. Of course that’s wrong. The ‘bad guy’ is just creating more victims from innocent people; he is extending to others the evil done to him. It is easy to fall prey to the idea of being justified in one’s victimhood; hey, if no one helped me when I was being driven to suicide by my family long ago, why should I be considerate of others?
OK, I went off on this topic longer that I thought I should, but I’m leaving it in. The thing is, and this is what struck me out of the blue as I was watching Mother talk about sensitivity to others and the marginalized seeking solace in one another due to the accumulated scraps from their past, is that although I didn’t really have an ally or advocate during the many times in my life when I was bullied, mocked and ridiculed or made an outcast, (or driven to consider suicide,) I really did (though I didn’t realize it until later, but that’s OK.) This may sound trite, but my allies were Jesus and His Blessed Mother. I may have mentioned this in a much earlier post (I can’t find it) but I often go to my nearby Adoration Chapel… because I felt summoned to go there. Or to attend a Daily Mass when I didn’t feel like it….because I felt summoned to go there. Same for prayers, at time…. I am just ‘not up to it’ but feel that call to pray a rosary or whatever.
To me, that means that Jesus and Mary want me around them. Therefore, there is no need for me to ever feel like I’ve never had an advocate or an ally. Yes, it would have been nice for God to have ‘done something’ back when I was going through trials, but we all know, but often forget, that trials are there for a reason. (Mother Angelica has lots to say about that in the book I mentioned way up above. In short, they are there to prune us of our pride, self-will, self-love, and teach humility.) In God’s time, justice will be served, and not earlier. I can, right now, just take some comfort in the fact that I am not alone; besides my wife (who also seems to enjoy having me around, go figure) there is Jesus and Mary asking me to spend some extra time with them every so often. They know about the bad things that have happened to me in the past, all the scraps of my life that still haunt me and mutter in the recesses of my mind that “I’m a loser.” But in their own fashion, they will deal with the people who’ve hurt me. And what they can do about them is far better than whatever I could have done. By some divine combination of Mercy and Justice, all will come out in the end. I just have to remain cognizant that my pains and agonies can be companions on the journey and not tormenters. I can convert them into assistants to help me to be kinder and more compassionate.
Incidentally, I watched more than just a few of Mother Angelica’s classics on EWTN On-Demand, but the other shows are beyond the scope of this post. But they all contributed to the feeling that I went on a retreat this weekend for a few hours and my head got rescrewed back on. The little negative voices that have been tormenting me these past few months have fallen silent, today. I hope they stay quiet as it may have been a case of demonic oppression, but I hesitate to give extra credit to Satan to what may have merely been low self-esteem. But on the other hand, given the voice’s persistence….
I couldn’t this morning decide what to watch on TV during the time I set aside for that before ‘beginning my day.’ Old reruns of “Sliders?” How about “Farscape?” “Babylon 5?” Maybe pick up where I left off during an interrupted binging of the original “Quantum Leap?” No, no, no, and no. I was restless in my indecision. Then I felt a tiny inspiration to watch classic Mother Angelica episodes on EWTN. And so I did!
Am I ever glad!
I am, as usual, ‘going through stuff’ and I am awaiting a decision on a job application I made yesterday. And so I binged on Mother Angelica videos on EWTN and later YouTube for about 3 hours. Several were on fear, anxiety, and inner peace. I split my time between “Mother Angelica Live Classics” and “From the Heart with Mother Angelica” an older show I don’t think I’ve seen before.
I feel I’m being prepped for failure (I won’t get the job) or success (I’ll get it and properly cope with new job anxieties.)
Either way, whatever happens, I feel like I received a grace today to cope with stuff. If the prayer is answered in the way that I hope it will, (I get the job) then “Yay!” If it gets answered ‘the other way,’ (I don’t get the job) then I’ll assume that God has other plans for me. I hope he lets me know what they are soon!
I cannot recommend watching Mother Angelica enough. I watched her programming quite a lot way back when, and I have read all the books she’s written and the ones edited or written by her biographer (Raymond Arroyo.) If you’re down, afraid, consumed with fear and anxiety, or are depressed, if you’re confused about anything: please go to the links I posted a few paragraphs above and just scroll through the offerings. If you’re suicidal, she has kind and loving things to say to you. She is a lifeline. She will help you pull back from the abyss.
“Father Joseph Mary Wolfe and Doug Keck mine decades of viewer phone calls answered by Mother Angelica. Mother dishes out teaching, advice, laughter and plenty of prayers as she takes calls from her “Family”. No subject is off limits and no problem too big for the wisdom and compassion of the one and only, Mother Angelica!
I listen to clips of this program on my local Catholic radio station (which is available to you on iCatholicRadio (available for the desktop or an iOS or Android app.) I may start listening to entire episodes: I need more Mother!
Mother Angelica is a balm, a healing remedy for these strange times which have gotten much worse since her shows aired. I kept thinking to myself “Imagine what she’d be saying nowadays!” She was four years younger than my Mom, but she’s always come across as a wise (-cracking) and loving Grandma who really cares about her family (all several million of us.)
I wish those folks down in Alabama would get started on her cause for beatification and canonization. If there was ever a woman who led a life of heroic virtue and who had a major, positive impact on millions of people worldwide, it’s Mother Mary Angelica of the Annunciation.
Someday you will die. Me, too. No one is exempt. It will happen, guaranteed. If you have been recently exposed to death because a loved one has passed away, the possibility was brought to your attention. Most everyone is uncomfortable with it and will routinely brush it off.
An article from long ago asks us this: Are You Prepared to Die? Quote: “The Scripture often emphasizes the suddenness of death and judgment.”
Well, are you? The reality of death is something many people avoid until it confronts them full on. And even then, some people attempt to shun it.
The inconvenient truth is that we are better prepared to face death when we do not wait to prepare ourselves for it when we are facing it.
The article gives some sobering consideration on preparing for death. November is an opportune time to contemplate it.
I posted this because yesterday was the anniversary of my Mother’s death in 2005. I was subjected to some serious psychological abuse from members of my family. One in particular, the rest were guilty of ‘sins of omission,’ as in their failure to come to my aid given my vulnerable position. A few did, and for those I am grateful. Nevertheless, the consequences of the antagonist’s actions lead me to contemplate suicide. So, I approached death. I have since been keeping in mind preparations for it (frequent confession, and meditating on if ‘I am ready’ for when it’s time.
NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are very slowly being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.
Today is the Feast of the Holy Guardian Angels. There is a tremendous comfort in knowing that we are never truly alone, for as the Collect from today’s Mass in the Extraordinary Form says in regards to these:
“O God, Who in Your wondrous providence graciously send Your Angels to watch over us, grant that we who pray to You may be ever under their protection and may rejoice in their unending companionship.”
The Epistle goes on to say:
Lesson from the book of Exodus:
Exodus 23:20-23 “Thus says the Lord God: See, I am sending My Angel before you, to guard you on the way and bring you to the place I have prepared. Be attentive to him and heed his voice. Do not rebel against him, for he will not forgive your sin. My authority resides in him. If you heed his voice and carry out all I tell you, I will be an enemy to your enemies and a foe to your foe, and My Angel will go before you.”
In the last line from today’s Gospel (Matthew 18:1-10), Jesus warns,”See that you do not despise one of these little ones; for I tell you, their Angels in heaven always behold the face of My Father in heaven.”
See? Your Guardian Angel is not only watching over you, but is also beholding the face of God in Heaven. Think about that next time you think you are alone and no one is around. Your Guardian Angel is not only with you, but is also in the presence of God. This is comforting.
One area of my devotional life that is lacking is devotion to my Guardian Angel. I do not think about him nearly as often as I should. Perhaps that should change…
