Category Archives: Humility

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 2

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The second step on the Ladder of Humility is that a person should not love his own will nor take pleasure in satisfying their own desires.

This is very similar to the Third Step of 12 Step recovery movements: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

The Rule of St. Benedict quotes the Gospel According to John:

John 6:38;

I came down from heaven not to do my own will but the will of the one who sent me.

If we are Christian, then we imitate Christ.

If we follow our own will, to the exclusion of allowing the work and will of God to lead us, then we are being selfish. We are declaring that we are our own god and that our will is the master of our own lives.

This is what got us into trouble when we were drinking. Granted that our wills were somewhat compromised by our addiction, nevertheless our drinking enabled us to place ourselves at the center of our existence as we needed to feed our self-indulgences that were running wild. This hurt ourselves and most especially others. This is a black-and-white example of the dangers of putting our wills first, rather than seeking to do God’s will. In a selfish world, we see violence against each other and against nature, we see broken homes and families, we see discord and strife.

Satisfying one’s self-indulgent pleasures (usually of the physical or carnal variety) merely warps your relationships others. More discord.

Seek the will of the One who formed you in your mother’s womb.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 1

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In St. Benedict’s Rule, the first step on his ladder of humility is that one must always keep the fear of God before one’s eyes.

As I have said earlier, “fear” isn’t raw, naked terror, but more along the lines of respect. After all, who is God? He is the One who made you: you owe your whole, entire and compete existence to Him. You didn’t create yourself and you shouldn’t end that creation. You do not “own” yourself and have full rights over your body, you owe a certain responsibility to God for your life.

St. Benedict was referring to sin. From the Psalms:

Psalm 36:2;

Sin directs the heart of the wicked; their eyes are closed to the fear of God.

Leading to:

Psalm 7:10;

Bring the malice of the wicked to an end; uphold the innocent, O God of justice, who tries hearts and minds.

God knows what is in your heart and your mind, it can never be concealed from Him. So much of our sinning we do in the dark, or think we do there, but nothing is hidden in the dark from the Lord.

You need only read Psalm 139 to get tremendous, and comforting, insights:

O LORD, you have probed me, you know me:
you know when I sit and stand; you understand my thoughts from afar.
My travels and my rest you mark; with all my ways you are familiar.
Even before a word is on my tongue, LORD, you know it all.
Behind and before you encircle me and rest your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is beyond me, far too lofty for me to reach.
Where can I hide from your spirit? From your presence, where can I flee?
If I ascend to the heavens, you are there; if I lie down in Sheol, you are there too.
If I fly with the wings of dawn and alight beyond the sea,
Even there your hand will guide me, your right hand hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely darkness shall hide me, and night shall be my light”
Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one.
You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works!
My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you,
When I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes foresaw my actions; in your book all are written down; my days were shaped, before one came to be.
How precious to me are your designs, O God; how vast the sum of them!
Were I to count, they would outnumber the sands; to finish, I would need eternity…
…Probe me, God, know my heart; try me, know my concerns.
See if my way is crooked, then lead me in the ancient paths.

God knows where you are, every step of the way, from the moment He formed you in your momma’s womb, and thereafter onward. There is no hiding.

Humility has a definition from the meeting rooms of AA that goes something like “humility is accepting reality for what it is, adjusting your life to that reality, and being content with the result.” Take out the word “reality” and put in its place the word “God” and you get:

“Humility is accepting God for what He is, adjusting your life to God, and being content with the result.”

A pretty fair summation of the first step of the Ladder of Humility.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility

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This is just a heads-up to announce another days-long project for this blog. I am going to start a 12 day long meditation on St. Benedict’s “12 Step Ladder of Humility”. I think I mentioned this back in my first post in January 2007 as something I was going to do, and well, it’s better late than never. 🙂

Who was St. Benedict? The Online Guide to St. Benedict has an excellent biography of him, as well as a lot of useful resources on his life.

He was born about the year 480, and died around 547. His feast day is July 11, and that factors into why I’m starting this project about now. But more on that later.

He wrote a “Rule”, a sort of governing document for monasteries and the lives of the monks living in them. Many people who are not monks also study and live by this Rule as it is an excellent guide to living the Gospel. It was this Rule of St. Benedict that earned him the titles of “the Patriarch of Western Monasticism” and “Co-Patron of Europe”. Most monastic rules are influenced by his Rule.

Anyway, as stated earlier, his feast day is July 11th. I will begin this series on St. Benedict’s 12 Step Ladder of Humility on June 30, so one step per day will take us to his feast day. It is not a novena, nor another prayer, just a series of meditations.

The only similarity between St. Benedict’s 12 Step Ladder of Humility and the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is the number “12” and the word “Step”. Well, there is the “humility” factor, too.

Anyway, visit the Online Guide mentioned above. His religious Order, the Order of St. Benedict has a great online directory and guide.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

God will never allow the righteous to stumble

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I believe that it was yesterday’s readings in the Liturgy of the Hours that I came across this line:

Psalm 55:23;

Cast your care upon the LORD, who will give you support. God will never allow the righteous to stumble.

One might think that this is overly comforting but a lot of nonsense as many of us since our drinking and drugging days have stumbled. Therefore how can this be true? Since we left our addictive living behind, haven’t we stumbled anyway? Therefore, what of this testimony from the Psalmist that God won’t allow us to stumble?

I am uncertain as to the finer theological points explaining this apparent flaw. Maybe there is a flaw in the translation. Another Catholic translation (The Jerusalem Bible) restates this as He will “not allow the virtuous to falter.”

Anyway, regardless of the word, there is an implied confidence that faith in God and in His support will never be for nothing. Perhaps then there is nothing incorrect in using the word “stumble” or “falter”, but in rather who is to blame when we actually do stumble.

Was it that our faith was weak? There had been several times early in my sobriety when I was going to Confession in an attempt to root out sinful behavior, and that behavior still occurred. Who was to blame? God? No, He gave us free will to choose His will or our own. His gift to us to use as our conscience guided us. These behaviors continued and I was going to give up. Praise God I never did, but was given the faith to endure and progress and perhaps quell those sinful behaviors.

And so I stumbled and faltered when my faith was weak. My fault. We too often blame God for our own wrongdoings. “Well,” we say, “I am a believer, I struggle to progress spiritually, why did I stumble? God wasn’t there for me.” Where in fact, it was us who wasn’t there for God. For whatever reason, our faith was lacking, we allowed distractions and other concerns to get in the way of permitting God’s help, we relied on our own means and faltered. We fail to realize that it is a cooperative effort, we place our faith in God, and He rescues us, but He also respects our free will when we drift off and leave His guiding hand behind.

You may stumble, but never fall. As you consciously or unconsciously turned away from His help, you can turn back. “God allows U-turns”, as a bumper sticker on my car says. If we fall, it is only because we failed to turn back to His arms reaching out to grab us.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

You will not be released until you have paid the last penny

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The Gospel Reading from today’s Mass has important things to say on the subject of reconciliation that many might wish to consider:

Matthew 5: 20-26;

I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
“You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.’
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna.
Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him. Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.
Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.

The last line about not being released until you have paid in full is one of the Catholic Church’s Scriptural proofs for the existence of Purgatory. Jesus is apparently strongly implying that if you die still indebted for a wrongdoing, you will pay for it in the afterlife. Since there is an end to this punishment, it is not an eternal one like Hell, therefore a place of temporary punishment must exist.

That being said, even a place of temporary punishment is still punishment, and why undergo it if you can avoid it? Settle accounts now while there is time, make whatever amendments to those you’ve hurt while they’re still around to reconcile with.

Granted it isn’t easy, especially if there is a threat of rejection or of wounds being re-opened. But meditating on the possibility, “becoming willing to make amends” is a start towards this, and of lessening one’s time in Purgatory.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics: Day 7

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Today we pray Day 7 of our Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics. Like yesterday we begin with:

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold him/her in Your love and restore him/her to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Yesterday I wrote about the “patient understanding” part of the “Prayer for the Addicted”. Today I’ll look at the “love that perseveres.”

We alcoholics are difficult people to deal with. Forget about how we were when we were drinking. Even after we’ve been sober for years we still have emotional mood swings that are higher, sharper and quicker than “normal people.” It is the nature of our condition and why we have to remain vigilant about emotional triggers and keep focused on how we react to things.

But imagine how it is for that person still caught in their addiction. “Love conquers all” and it is definitely love that is need to help them through the confusion of early sobriety. Love is also needed for yourself, in coping with the difficulties of your addict.

Remember your early sobriety and the confusion you experienced. Someone’s love got you through it. Pass that along (“pay it forward”) and love the person now suffering. God is love, and if we are Christians and we are to reflect God’s image, then we must love those most in need of it.

No matter how difficult.

We conclude the daily novena with:

Official Prayer for the Canonization of Blessed Matt Talbot

“Lord, in your servant, Matt Talbot you have given us a wonderful example of triumph over addiction, of devotion to duty, and of lifelong reverence of the Holy Sacrament. May his life of prayer and penance give us courage to take up our crosses and follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Father, if it be your will that your beloved servant should be glorified by your Church, make known by your heavenly favours the power he enjoys in your sight. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

The source of these prayers is Circle of Prayer – Matt Talbot Intercedes for Alcoholics .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 9 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Recovery

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All 7 Gifts of the Holy Spirit have been prayed for: Wisdom, Understanding, Knowledge, Counsel, Fortitude, Piety, and Fear of the Lord.

To round out the last day of the Pentecost novena for alcoholism I decided to petition for sobriety. It isn’t a gift of the Holy Spirit, but if you live according to the Spirit, it is a natural result.

Like in the previous days, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Sobriety means much more than not drinking. Just like “peace” doesn’t mean “no war”. Sobriety means clear-headedness, a cool and balanced view of things. Faith going hand-in-hand with reason.

It is an emotional balance. As alcoholics we had a warped emotional interpretation of events and situations and our response was therefore as warped and imbalanced as our perceptions. Sobriety means that we have taught ourselves how to handle these situations. We retrained ourselves how to properly respond to stuff. A goodly dose of sincere humility, that there is a God and we’re not Him mixed with an ability to choose those things that we can change from those we can’t, and we have the beginnings of sobriety.

We maintain this sobriety through prayer, religious devotion, and spiritual growth; a balanced and respectful attitude towards people and things; and service to others. Twelve Step or alternative recovery programs may supplement these.

From 1 Peter 5: 8-9;

Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for (someone) to devour.
Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings.

Resist the alluring call of the drink, know that others are going through the same sufferings as you, regardless of the length of sobriety.

Oh, Holy Spirit, grant me sobriety. I ask you this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 8 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Addiction

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Today for this novena we petition for Fear of the Lord.

As before, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Fear is the misunderstood part of this gift. Fear is misunderstood to imply that God is a harsh, brutal unforgiving taskmaster that we should cower and cringe before in mortal terror.

Fear is perhaps better understood as meaning respect. We must respect the Lord our God who created us and sustains us throughout our lives and who decides when that life is over.

After receiving all of the other gifts of the Holy Spirit, we can understand that receiving fear of the Lord as not to be something, well, feared. A healthy, deep and loving respect for God is a natural result of the spiritual development and growth that devotion to the Holy Spirit brings.

Many alcoholics upon recovering reject organized religion as it is felt to be a sign of an unrelenting and unforgiving God. This is based on their past alcoholic relationship with the Church. The interesting thing is that in their recovery, at least according to the 12 Steps, they are to make amends to all they have hurt, to “clean up their side of the street” and to be open to healing all parts of their lives. But they (in my experience) leave out the Church. They harbor and nurture a lingering resentment towards the Church. To me this is a land mine waiting to explode. Regardless of one’s opinion on organized religion, to not heal all of your past alcoholic relationships is an incomplete recovery. This view of organized religion may ultimately poison a relationship with God.

To say that “I believe in God, but not religion”, is like saying “I believe in air, but not in breathing”.

Pray for a healthy, loving respect for God. It will affect all your relationships.

Oh, Holy Spirit, give me a deep and respectful fear of the Lord, our God ,who gave me life and sustains me though all my sufferings. I ask this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

When He was insulted, He returned no insult; when He suffered, He did not threaten

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A section of Scripture from last night’s Evening Prayer offers an excellent example on humble and sober living.

1 Peter 2 : 21-24;

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps.
“He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.”
When he was insulted, he returned no insult; when he suffered, he did not threaten; instead, he handed himself over to the one who judges justly.

Many times in our drinking past we dove into our bottle after an insult, either real or imagined. When we suffered, either from something done to us by others or by a self-inflicted wound, we drank.

As sober alcoholics and users we cannot react that way. We have to adopt a more humble manner of living and thinking.

Jesus knew that there is only one judge, God. Rather than taking matters into His own hands and lashing back at His accusers and dying anyway, He meekly accepted their attacks and fulfilled His mission on Earth.

This is not to say that we should be doormats in sobriety and allow injustices to be perpetrated against us.

In the chapter entitled “Acceptance was the Answer” in AA’s “Big Book” (aka Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, 2001; Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. New York), the author declares on page 420:

Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations … the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But them my “rights” try to move in, and they too can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my “rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself, “How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?…

So by asking the question: “How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?” we can perhaps justify certain situations when we have to defend our “rights”, bearing in mind the cost. The Serenity Prayer can offer guidance:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

Anyway, some stuff to think about as we go about our day.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Gratitude

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Gratitude is wanting what you already have, and being thankful to God for it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)