Category Archives: Meanderings

God’s voice versus Satan’s voice

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I came across one of those “inspiring” images online; I rarely (if ever) have posted them on here, I usually just share them on SoberCatholic’s social media Pages. But this one deserves a share here, as I think it addresses a problem common to all alcoholics and addicts, regardless of how long sober and clean. (I don’t know who the creator is, it didn’t come with any attribution.)

godsvoicevssatansvoice

It appears that “Satan’s voice” is heard quite often by us; frequently when trying to become sober, often still long afterwards.

That voice also isn’t some evil-sounding, malicious growl dripping with hate, either. It can sound like people we know who have been harsh and judgmental with us in the past. Satan knows the pain they’ve caused and just exploits that.

Keep tring to hear that sweet, still, small voice of God.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

My “Way” Obsession

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“Hi, my name is Paul, and I am a Wayaholic.”

I’m admitting to having developed an ongoing obsession interest in the movie, “The Way,” which I blogged about a few months ago, right here: “The Way-the Movie.”.

It is now about six months since I wrote that, I must have seen the film well over a dozen times. I’ve also gotten to scouring YouTube, and more recently, Gloria.tv for videos on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela.

I’ve even taken to putting the DVD into the player and watching some of the “scene selections” as a part of my morning devotions. (Just a few times… I was going to do that this morning but chose instead to write this.)

Tonight there will be a presentation at my home parish on the Camino. The dude who is the parish youth coordinator (or whatever his title is, he runs the youth programs) will be speaking on his Camino pilgrimage and will also be showing The Way. The whole thing is four hours long. (The movie is only two hours.)

I may go. I may not, I’ll see how I feel this evening. It’ll be strange for me to watch the movie with a bunch of others, I’ve only seen it alone in the wee hours of the morning. I may be interested in his pilgrimage experience, although I seriously doubt I’ll ever go and do it myself.

I just like the film, to me it and the Camino are symbols of the journey, the “trudging the road of happy destiny” we are all on. It’s an obvious trope, but obvious works for me quite often!

The film draws me out from “where I am” to somewhere most other films, including escapist stuff, doesn’t. And that may be why I may not go; the film is very personal and I’m not sure if I want to “share” the viewing experience with strangers. Just my melancholic/introverted personality…

{{{sigh}}} What to do… what to do…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A fortnight of years in sobriety

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Today marks my 14th anniversary of my last drunk. I sort of remember it, although for years I couldn’t recall the exact time (as in hour/minute) I took my last drink. I still can’t. I won’t bother with the details of my last drunk as I’ve written about them before.

Question: “How’d I do it?” Answer: “One day at a time!!” Well, there’s more to it than that, but in essence the twelve step practice of taking each day as it comes does help.

Sometimes I have to take each hour as it comes.

Speaking of the Twelve Steps, yes, they are useful. A wonderful lifeline when other things are absent or insufficient. (Absent or insufficient because they have not been developed enough as a response to external factors that may create a desire to drink.)

My Catholic Faith was and is more useful. I do know that if I had to rely solely upon the spirituality of the Twelve Steps and meeting attendance, I’d be one of those poster children for relapses; “those people” you see who enter the program, “get it” for a while, and then go back out.

Once in a while there are stressors. Anxiety, isolation, economic concerns and so forth well up and I think, “Just one drink to take the edge off.” But no, I don’t. I get through it (“One hour at a time, one minute at a time…”) and move on.

At times like those I also grab my AA literature (the Big Book or 12 & 12) and get help that way. Sometimes I feel the need for a meeting, but don’t bother (I seriously am NOT a meeting person. Never was, never will be. Online recovery works for me. I visit In the Rooms a lot.)

Sometimes when I feel that way, that my Faith and other personal means to maintain sobriety aren’t working, and I feel the need to fall back on traditional fixes like “going to a meeting” or “calling a sponsor” then I assess the state of my Faith. Sincerely, the Faith is all one should need.

Jesus came to heal the broken and wounded. The sick. We are all that and so His Church and the sacraments and devotions should work. They have, for me and for others that I’ve run across over the years. But at times they seem to be “not enough.”

But that isn’t an indictment of the Faith, or possibly not even my practice of it. There’s a list of saints very long who have gone through frequent periods of spiritual dryness, times when the Faith “wasn’t there.” They persevered and discerned that it was God’s way of drawing them closer. It is a path of spiritual growth and development (see St. Teresa of Jesus, a/k/a St. Teresa of Avila.) We feel distant and therefore we persevere and strive on, or we abandon the path.

I stay on the path. (This must be why images and symbols of “the path,” “the road,” “the way,” “the journey” resonate with me.)

I have come to feel that in those times when I feel the urge to drink is strong, and I need to respond in a traditional twelve step way, that I need to work on my Faith. I need to make a Spiritual Communion, or meditate on the Holy Spirit and His indwelling in me, or talk to the Blessed Mother. If this sounds selfish to you who are avid and devoted Twelve-Steppers, so be it. For the most part, my experience with AA has been at variance with the common conception of a “fellowship.” It’s just one more organization where I am a misfit, despite trying.

To me, AA and meeting attendance are training wheels or a crib. Eventually you outgrow them. You learn to ride on your own without the help of training wheels, and you move out of the crib. Useful to understand alcoholism and get the basics of Twelve Step spirituality and how to change your way of thinking and responding to situations, but after a fashion, one should learn what the Faith has to offer.

We were created by God. We exist to love Him and serve Him in this life and to be united and happy with Him forever in the next life (Heaven.) To get through this life He has established a Church to guide us.

We are obligated and we owe Him the duty to fully explore that Church and the Faith that springs up around Her. This does not mean leaving AA, if that suits your sobriety and you really enjoy it, then fine. It can be considered a work of mercy. Perhaps even a source for friendships.

But working within a Twelve Step program shouldn’t come at the expense of your Catholic Faith; that is like continuing to eat pureed baby food when the bread of life is readily available.

That’s all I have to say! I’ve just been very reflective on my fourteen years, where I’ve been, am now and where I’m going, along with the means for the way.

Just trudgin’ my road of happy destiny.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Lent is continuing…

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I just wrote something that will appear on March 9th, and in doing so noticed it has been nearly a month since my last post (Ash Wednesday). This isn’t an apology for not posting, (I don’t do that anymore.) but Lent has been typically a month when I post more often than not.

On the one hand time slipped by a little fast (I didn’t realize it had been a month.) On the other, I’ve been busy doing Lent-y things. Trying to make “spiritual progress,” and succeeding and failing, but trudging on nevertheless. Following up on my Year of Mercy desire to develop a greater appreciation for Divine Mercy, and reading much on it. Recently this involved skimming through previously read books on and by Dorothy Day and the Catholic Worker Movement and jotting down books she read or were popular with the CW movement back in the 1930s – 1950s. I figure they’re all public domain and hence possibly available online to download for my Kindle. (Some are, most aren’t. But my wife recently posted a like that lists Free books: 100 legal sites to download literature. So, I plan to be really busy scouring them for books! Day and the CW Movement are important to learn about during this Year of Mercy as they are an excellent example of applied “Works of Mercy.”

The Corporal Works of Mercy:

To feed the hungry.
To give drink to the thirsty.
To clothe the naked.
To shelter the homeless
To visit the sick.
To visit the imprisoned
To bury the dead.

The Spiritual Works of Mercy:

To instruct the ignorant.
To counsel the doubtful.
To admonish sinners.
To bear wrongs patiently.
To forgive offences willingly.
To comfort the afflicted.
To pray for the living and the dead.

I hope your Lent is going well.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

From sudden and unprovided death, deliver us, O Lord

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I learned today that an online friend died when she was hit by a truck while crossing a street. She passed away later at the hospital. She received Last Rites before she died.

The suddenness of any death typically provokes a reaction of shock and dismay. Someone is there, and then suddenly gone. The quickness is a reminder that we, too, can suddenly be “called home.” We know not the day nor the hour of our passing. We must always be prepared as if today will be our last. But who really does this?

The suddenness of someone’s death also provokes another reaction: that of a desire to quickly think about the living and how we never really appreciate them while they are still with us. I suppose that this is essentially taking people for granted, but I also think that it is a symptom that we do not have death always in mind. It is always a distant, abstract thing. We know it will happen, we prefer not to think about it.

So, death is a distant thing from our minds and the permanence of people in our lives is assumed.

I think if we reverse this on both notions then culture and civilization will be far more peaceful and compassionate.

Incidentally, the lady who died was in recovery, she had purchased both of my Catholic devotional books and enjoyed them, bringing them frequently to Adoration to meditate with. So, her death was a little sensitive for me. I am truly saddened by her loss.

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

in all our affairs

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We practice these principles in all our affairs, taking the vision of God’s Will into our lives asking, “Not my will, but thine be done.”

When stumbling along the path, confused, angry, irritated or just plain lost, we recite: “God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

For we may be the only Gospel of Christ or Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that anyone sees that day. We must be ever mindful of that, as well as when we meet other people throughout the day, that moment is but a snapshot of who they are along their journey. And that moment doesn’t define them.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Rita of Cascia, patroness of lost causes

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I always found it to be a sign of Divine Providence, or maybe evidence of a Divine Sense of Humor, that today, my sobriety date, is also the Feast Day of St. Rita of Cascia. She is known as the patron saint of lost causes, of which I think I was nearly one. My early recovery was marked by a lot of drinking. Yes, I know that’s not the way to do it.

That she is known as the patroness of lost causes is due to her marriage to an abusive husband and their two sons who appeared to be following in his path. She has nothing to do with alcoholism except that a lot of us drunks and ex-drunks have been considered “lost causes” by many. The fact that she prayed for his conversion for all 18 years of marriage before finally succeeding (just before he died) is the probable reason for her patronage. Some people can be pretty intransigent.

There is a popular biography of her (the one published by TAN Books) online: “Saint Rita of Cascia: Saint of the Impossible” by Fr. Joseph Sicardo, OSA

Her entry in Wikipedia: Rita of Cascia. One really incredible thing I just learned about her from Wikipedia is that St. Rita is the unofficial patron saint of baseball! Apparently she was mentioned in the 2002 movie The Rookie. More on that here: Patron Saint of Baseball.

I’ve blogged about her before: St. Rita of Cascia post archives.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Help Support Prairie Hoof Farm

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It seems like there’s been a flurry of meritorious GoFundMe campaigns during this Lenten/Easter season. Well, there’s another worthy campaign that I am bringing to your attention…

PLEASE… if you can.. support Prairie Hoof Farm by Kevin and Mary Ford in their attempts to re-establish their farm to the Topeka, Kansas region.

The Fords:

TheFordFamily

Kindly go to the GoFundMe link and read up on it; Kevin tells it much better than I can.

But in short, the Fords currently run a farm in south-central Kansas. It has experienced a few bad years, “bad” enough that it would have convinced most people to hang up their mucking boots (or whatever it is that farmers wear when they muck around in pig … stuff…) and repurpose their life. But not Kevin. Kevin, you see, is the founder of the “New” Catholic Land Movement. Kevin descibes the NCLM succinctly:

“A great hope we have for our farm is to make it a place where families can come to live, work, and pray together. Our culture so fragments life today that we feel an experience like this on a farm could really help families to be what they are meant to be. Making our business successful will help us to be able to fulfill this ministry. We would like our farm to one day be a base for the New Catholic Land Movement to use to train families in homesteading and farming-related skills.”

This is Kevin with a pig friend: (The boots he’s wearing are what I was referring to a couple of paragraphs above.)

Kevinmuckingwithapig

Kevin maintains a site and blog dedicated the the NCLM, where there is a more complete description of it: Introduction to the New Catholic Land Movement.

Please find it within yourself to contribute… This is an excellent opportunity to help an independent business, complete with family to boot AND help an aspect of American culture that need invigoration. If you are a Catholic who supports certain aspects of Catholic Social Teachings such as “solidarity” and Distributist economics, this is a way to get involved. Thanks!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Getting on into Lent

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Today is the Second Sunday of Lent (which is odd as Sundays aren’t considered as a part of Lent 😉 ) As I have been dutifully blogging at least once a day during this Lenten season of 2015, which is something I intend to do yearly, but typically fall short, I just thought I’d write up a brief Sunday post, especially as I couldn’t come up with anything from the Sunday Mass readings to use for a post.

So, how’s your Lent going? Being penitential? Feeling more distanced from your sinful past and are closer to God? No? Good! That means that Satan is attacking and not liking what you’re doing. It isn’t about a “feeling” anyway. If you are making a solid effort at eliminating/reducing character defects and sinful behavior, then you probably are “feeling” like you’re not making much progress. Keep it up! The Lord will shower you with graces to stengthen you on your journey.

Whatever you’re doing, continue. Even if it’s just a small effort, as long as progress is made. Carry on!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

My Eighth Year of Trudging this Road

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Time for my annual self-congratulatory post, announcing yet another year completed in blogging here. I started this on January 5, 2007. “Happy Bloggaversary to me!” I don’t blog as often as I should, but then again, this isn’t a full-time paying job; something else has to pay the bills. Plus, I’m married and there’s a house and stuff. 🙂 Nevertheless, I hope whomever reads this blog appreciates it, and that you find it useful as you trudge your own sober Catholic road.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)