Marriage is good

Today I celebrate 4 years of wedded bliss to Rose, of ARTIST4GOD, Fine Art America, and Artist4God on Zazzle.com fame.

Marriage is good. I can go on about the sacramental and sacrificial aspects of marriage, maybe even some of the theological elements of it. I can also go on forever about the romantic and emotional parts of marriage.

But there are better bloggers than I who can do all of that (except maybe the romantic and emotional stuff). I will just say one thing, and that one thing is in the context of this blog (that of recovery from alcoholism): Marriage can be a sign of success. I know it isn’t for everybody. For some, it is a huge mistake. But if you’ve struggled with alcoholism or some other addiction, you understand how difficult it might be to form normal relationships afterwards. But marriage means that you’ve successfully convinced someone else that you’re a good risk, and that they’ll go along with you for the ride (hopefully keeping in mind Catholic teaching on the indissolubility of marriage).

Bearing in mind that there are zillions of people who are not married and who would love to be, and seemingly half of them are friends of mine: this is not directed at you all. Seriously. There may be legitimate reasons why you’re not married, and none mean that you are a loser or are unloveable.

The right One hasn’t shown up yet. God hasn’t finished making you for the One yet. This is for all who believe that there is someone out there “made for them.” Well, creation and the formation of the person doesn’t end with birth, high school or college graduation, or getting that first job or buying a house. Or maybe, just maybe, you are not comfortable with who you are and so are not living truthfully (not being the real you). If that is the case then the One God Made for You will not recognize you as the One God Made for Them. Think about that. If you’re not living out the life and personality you’re supposed to be, how can you find the one you’re supposed to be with?

Or maybe the time isn’t right yet. But that may be just a restatement of the last paragraph.

I doubt my Rosie would have married me 5+ years ago. (I’m 49 so that “+” goes back 25-ish years.)

Whatever. Marriage is good, if you marry the right person.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

SwagCatholic

From time to time I have attempted to earn funds from this blog. Nothing much ever came of them, but I also didn’t put in tons of effort, either. I even tried a bleg (blog beg) after last American Thanksgiving. The silence was deafening. I became sad and almost quit blogging. Anyway, I’ve also tried affiliate linking (only ones left are those that link to my wife’s sites, the others didn’t pan out for one reason or another, mainly ease of use and such) and Google Adsense. Google Adsense I didn’t care for as there is no way to control what kind of ads are run: they are based on context of words in the posts and sidebar links, and since this is a Catholic blog about alcoholism, I had tons of ads, many inappropriate, on alcohol treatment and some uncertain Catholic ones.

Well, I’m trying again. I joined a site called “SwagBucks”. It is a place where you can earn points, a/k/a “SwagBucks” and redeem them for stuff. If you wish to check it out and decide to join, please go and use this referral link, or just click on the badge over on the right that says “Earn Swagbucks.” As a referral, I earn a percentage of whatever you earn. A good way to spread the joy.

Pelenaka, over at thirtyfivebyninety, a nice blog I found on homesteading and simple, frugal living, is a member of “SwagBucks”. Pelenaka writes about it here: Get Your Swag on a.k.a Swagbucks

(Via thirtyfivebyninety.)

OK, start Swaggin’. 😉

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics — A SoberCatholic.com book

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

True Freedom

Freedom, the lack of it, the excess of it, or the abuse of it, is an undercurrent of the culture wars of today. Everyone wants it, everyone pretty much gets resentful when someone else uses it, and what it means for one person doesn’t necessarily hold for another. Nevertheless, what is freedom to the Christian?

True freedom is freedom from sin. Sin cuts us off from God. Sin prevents us from fulfilling our potential as true adopted children of God. Sin is an offense against God and also an offense against other people’s dignity and our own.

No one is sinless, and we all suffer from the effects of sin and of repeatedly falling into a state of sin (concupiscence). Nevertheless the struggle to resist temptation mirrors the struggle for freedom. We all struggle to get what we want that we think would make us “free.”. It may be things we feel we are entitled to and things we are responsible for and take care of and things we are obligated to do. Responsibilities and obligations do not curtail our freedom, despite the fact that in fulfilling them, we may not be doing what we’d prefer. Selfishness is an abuse of freedom. We are not isolated individuals, we are a part of a community of people (although that seems hard to fathom at times) and our freedom should not really be at the expense of others.

The struggle against the flesh, a war fought from Adam and Eve’s time that manifests itself most vividly today in the culture wars (Life versus “Choice”, Christianity versus the World, etc.) is a battle fraught with pain and anxiety. The constant war against temptations, difficult to do in the excessively sexualized Western countries, has damaged individuals and societies.

For those of us addicted to something, we remember the relief we felt when we succumbed to the addiction. Perhaps we realized that we drank too much and tried to stop, either by our own efforts or through a 12 Step program. We tried real hard, resisting the urge to drink and remember feeling trapped by our desires. Relief was all that we desired, but it was to no avail until we drank again. And then we felt free.

But it was a false freedom, for we remained trapped by the addiction. The temporary relief sufficed for a while, and after a period of time we felt the draw to drink again. We might struggle against the temptation, and we might win or succumb again depending upon circumstances.

But the temptation is often there. As it is with us now after a period of sobriety, the temptation for something is not far away. I remember a few years ago I was feeling frustrated in my sobriety, that I couldn’t “do anything fun.” I remember praying to have a “safe vice.”

Nowadays many people are cross-addicted, (addicted to several things). Quite often sex or pornography is the other addiction.

As I said above it is hard to resist such things in the hyper-sexualized world of today.

There are no easy answers in how to cope with temptation. No quick and easy solutions. Satan will keep hammering away at you until he succeeds. There is temporary respite in the form of prayer, Bible reading, attending Mass or Adoration, or going to Confession. Once I immerse myself in “Church stuff” such as those, I feel the wolves have been scared away. I feel more fully reconnected to God and holiness and I feel truly free. I feel close to God and the community of the Church, I feel more like the way I am supposed to be. Truly free, unencumbered by the shackles of addiction or temptation or desires of the world.

There may be some value in temptation. Satan isn’t going to bother with you if you are in his clutches. If you are in a state of mortal sin, he won’t bother tempting you. You already belong to him. Even if you have committed only a number of venial sins, he may not bother you that much. Not to imply that that there is a formula like ‘x’ number of venial sins = 1 mortal sin, but the cumulative effect of numerous venial sins may make it easier for you to commit a mortal sin. Sort of like a snowball effect, it gets bigger and bigger unless it is checked. You become prone to immorality, it is only a matter of time before you find yourself deeper in it. So, temptation may be a sign of your holiness. Do some “Church stuff” and increase the holiness. It helps you to rebound after you do sin. This is what defined the saints. Sure, they all lead holy lives of heroic virtue. They needed heroism to be victorious over sin. They always picked themselves up after a fall.

So that is it. Like the contradiction of the Cross, wherein death brings life:

1 Corinthians 1:23: “But we are preaching Christ crucified. Certainly, to the Jews, this is a scandal, and to the Gentiles, this is foolishness.”

(Via Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version.)

Truth is sometimes confounding. God’s Truth usually confounds human reason to the point of seeming ridiculous. So it is with “true freedom,” it is not what we normally think it is.

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics — A SoberCatholic.com book

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Going outside to get outside

I am taking advantage of some warm temperatures and am blogging from outside. It is near 60 degrees out, and despite being a wee bit chilly with the breeze, I am insistent upon staying outdoors with my MacBook and blogging.

I am basically saying this, that aside from being a little cabin-feverish from being inside all winter, and “enjoying” the outdoors only by rushing to the vehicles to go somewhere, or to get quickly back inside, I need to get outdoors for a bit to “get outside” myself. I think I have blogged on this theme before. The idea is that one cure for what ails you is to go outdoors. By going outdoors and into nature (or whatever passes for it where you are) you can escape for a while the narrow confines of the traps your minds sets for you. The stinkin’ thinkin’ that alcoholics and addicts find themselves in is not easily discarded. One good way is to immerse yourself in something greater than yourself.

I believe Pope Blessed John Paul II said somewhere that believers should go outside to meet God. In nature you find the Lord. He created it, and in His works you can find Him. This does not mean, of course, that you can dispense with Church. In Church (Catholic ones) He is truly really Present. But outdoors, in nature, He is spiritually there, and so you can connect with Him on a different level. Meeting Him in nature is like showing up at a friend’s house “as you are,” no need to get dressed up and be your best. (Although from the Masses I attend, people seem to take this attitude to Church.)

Going outside helps you to get outside of yourself. You get a shift in perspective. Hopefully, a perspective shift that causes a change in attitude.

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics — A SoberCatholic.com book

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics AVAILABILITY UPDATE

Amazon.com just picked up CreateSpace’s print edition of “The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics”, and now the book is available pretty much anywhere you can buy an ebook, and also now from two sources in a print edition:

The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is now available for purchase through a variety on online sources, both in print, and in ebook versions.

You may buy the book in print either of these places:

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics on Amazon.com

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics on CreateSpace

For those who like ebooks, you can obtain the book via the following ways, for virtually any ebook reader:

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics for Amazon Kindle.

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics on Apple iTunes.

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics on the Barnes and Noble Nook.

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics on Kobobooks

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics on Diesel eBooks.

Stations of the Cross on Smashwords.

On Smashwords, the book is available in virtually any ebook format around. See the Smashwords site for particular formats.

If you don’t own a Kindle, you can download a free Kindle Reading app here:

Free Kindle Reading Apps.

If you don’t own a Nook reader, you can download a free Nook reading app here:

Free NOOK Reading App from Barnes & Noble.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics now available IN PRINT EDiTION

As of today, my new ebook Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is now available IN PRINT edition for those who either cannot use the ebook version, or who prefer books in the traditional paper format.

Please click on the link in the first paragraph, and that will take you to the CreateSpace eStore.

The book should also be available in the Amazon.com store within a week or so.

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics for Kindle is also available through Amazon at their Kindle Store at the link in this sentence.

As before, it can still be purchased through the publisher’s site: Smashwords.

It is also available through Apple’s
iTunes store for the iPad and also through BARNES & NOBLE for their “NOOK” reader and app.

Two additional ebookstores are:

Kobobooks and Diesel eBooks.

Also be kindly aware: we are now in the season of Lent, and it makes a great gift: Lent and a gift opportunity!!!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics now on Amazon through the Kindle Store

Just an update that my new ebook, the Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is NOW AVAILABLE through Amazon at their Kindle Store!

Just follow that link in the first sentence and you can purchase the book for your Kindle device or Kindle app for the Mac or PC.

It is still available for purchase through other venues, and if you go to this link: Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is now available in lots of ebookstores you can see the list of online store (Barnes & Noble for the Nook, Apple iTunes for the iPad, iPhone and whatever other iThingie they have, as well as other fine online book distributors.) I will probably update that blogpost to reflect this new development!

Perhaps coincidental, but this book has become available on Amazon (the biggest online bookseller) just in time for Lent! As I have suggested before, although Lent is not associated with giving gifts, this would make a fine gift for yourself, or some other alcoholic or addict that you know.

To all those who have already purchase the book, THANK YOU! I appreciate every one of you.

The book should also be available in a PRINT EDITION, perhaps by later this week. There will be another announcement when that happens.

I would like to take the time and offer my gratitude to my wife and photographer, Rose. She was invaluable in figuring out the whole file conversion and uploading thing. She took care of the technical end. If it was up to me, well, let’s just say that despite nearly 10 years of sobriety, patience is still sometimes elusive. 😉

Rose is a creator of beautiful things. She takes pictures and runs some online shops to sell her graphic designs. Her photography can be found here: ARTIST4GOD: Rose Santuci-Sofranko. Her shops, where she markets her photography and graphic designs can be found here: Artist4God: Zazzle.com Store and Rose Santuci-Sofranko – Fine Art.

Visit her sites and see what is available!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Lent 2012

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. Although it is not a Holy Day of Obligation, it should be, but that shouldn’t be any excuse for you NOT to got to Mass and get ashes anointed on your forehead (work scheduling and other situations notwithstanding).

It is the beginning of the 40 day penitential period leading up to Good Friday, the day Christ died of the Cross for all of us. He paid the price we owed.

In the categories over along the right, click on “Lent” when the selection drops down. That will give you access to all of my Lenten posts of the past 5 years. I plan on blogging daily, we’ll see how that goes.

I don’t think that I ever stated my plans or goals for Lent before, outside of mentioning that it is a period of personal penance and conversion for me. But things like “what I’m giving up,” that sort of thing, nope, don’t think I have.

I don’t plan on “giving up” anything specific, save for Facebook, Google+ and Plurk on Fridays. LinkedIn is probably the only social network I’ll be on during that day. I will follow the usual fasting and abstinence guidelines. I think I told my wife that I’ll stop with the ice cream. So, OK, maybe I’m “giving up” that.

Otherwise, I will try to post daily, either here, or on The Four Last Things or Writer for God. During Lent, you are supposed to exert some discipline about things, I have not been very disciplined with regard to my blogging and this is a good time to correct that. My three blogs are obviously very religious, and if I am to use my bloggy talents to help establish the Kingdom of God on Earth, then I have been a lousy employee of the Lord quite often. So, while blogging is something normally enjoyable, actually getting the discipline to do it is a pain. So, getting myself to my blogs will be an effort in personal discipline. It should also help my other writing endeavors.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is now available in lots of ebookstores

Just a public announcement that my ebook: Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics – a new ebook by ME!! is now available for purchase (at only $2.99!) through a variety on online sources.

As before, it can still be purchased through the publisher’s site: Smashwords.

It is also newly available through Apple’s
iTunes store, and also through BARNES & NOBLE as a “NOOK Book”.

Two additional ebookstores are:

Kobobooks and Diesel eBooks.

It should be available on Amazon at some point.

Also be kindly aware: Lent is coming up and it makes a great gift: Lent and a gift opportunity!!!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

An Almost Anniversary: February 3, 2002, Part 2

I do not know what happened later in the evening, but for some reason I had to get out of the house. I do not remember at all what was “terrorizing” me, but I had to leave the house. Maybe my teeth were “falling out” and I had to run to, I don’t know, the hospital maybe, but I had to get out. I do recall freaking out and scaring my Mom. I got out of the house and was running around out front. Bear in mind that this was February, in Central New York State. Very cold and snowy and I wasn’t dressed for it. My Mom was running outside pleading with me to go back in. I kept yelling at her to go back inside. (She wasn’t wearing her robe or coat.) For some reason, perhaps my guardian angel was grabbing onto me, but I felt restrained from pushing my Mom back inside. I recall getting really angry with her, but felt restrained in doing anything about it.

There was an audience. The staff and residents of the nursing home across the street were watching.

I think I got back inside the house. Not for long as I was back outside. Mom had called 911 (maybe I told her to). And so I was outside waiting for the ambulance to come and get me. (Maybe this was when she was trying to get me back inside.)

I remember hallucinating that there was a parade of ambulances driving down the street, avoiding my house. I kept getting angry that they weren’t stopping. I kept shouting and waving for them to stop and get me.

Finally, a real ambulance actually did stop. I was being wrapped up in a straight-jacket. The family from next door had returned from somewhere and had gathered around watching all this while I was screaming at the EMT guys that I was the Mayor and “don’t you know who I am?” I swear the EMT guys were trying to figure out if I was telling the truth, but that may have been a part of the hallucination. But I do think they were asking each other about that.

I also remember hallucinating that a TV crew from the New York Times was out front in the street filming. Yes, I know they’re a newspaper and not a TV network, but “New York Times” is what it said on the cameras. This is MY hallucination. Maybe the EMT’s had radioed that the Mayor was drunk and being taken away in a straight-jacket and they heard and sent a film crew to cover it. (I did not claim to be the Mayor of New York City, just of the small town I lived in.)

I don’t remember anything else of that day. I don’t remember the trip to the ER or the initial few hours at the hospital. I actually don’t remember too much of the hospital, outside of urinating in the hallway by the nurse’s station, getting really ticked off when I kept getting awakened in the middle of the night to be given a sleeping pill, and also having my Confession heard for the first time in years. (I was assigned 55 Hail Mary’s for penance.)

I was there for 6 days and $10,500. I paid it all off over the next 3 1/2 years from savings. I was unemployed and had no health insurance. People NOW tell me I might have been eligible for Medicaid, and that might have paid for it. Sure, NOW I’m told that. The $10,500 would be very handy about now.

Well, that is it for now. More hallucination stories are on their way, especially when I get to May 2002. (Not going to wait for May 2012 to write about them. Perhaps over the next few weeks or so.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)