Category Archives: Forgiveness

Do not deal with us according to our sins

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The refrain from the Responsorial Psalm from today’s Mass for Monday of the Second Week of Lent is “Lord, do not deal with us according to our sins.”

See: Monday of the Second Week in Lent.

Be grateful that we have a merciful and loving Father who will not “deal with us according to our sins”, if we ask forgiveness and repent.

Lent is that time where we focus on repenting of our sins and turning closer to the Lord. Like we hear on Ash Wednesday, “Repent and belive in the Gospel,” the formula is right there. Repent, and believe in the Good News of Jesus Christ. Believe in the Gospel, don’t just read it. Live it.

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Forgive us our trespasses

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Have people wronged you? Have you wronged others? Of course, you cannot go through life without experiencing either event. As much as we are loath to admit it, we have screwed over quite a lot of people over the decades of our lives.

We can ask forgiveness. If it is not possible to seek forgiveness of those we have harmed, we can still go straight to God.

However, there’s a catch. In order for our sins to be forgiven, it is contingent upon our forgiving others for actions committed against us. We cannot expect to be forgiven if we do not extend that to others.

It’s hard. Sometimes we feel that in not forgiving we are not surrendering to those who have harmed us; that in not “letting go” we are still binding them to our pain and grief. Fact is, they’ve likely moved on and have forgotten the incident, or worse, don’t care. So in holding onto the resentment, we are in fact letting them continue to defeat us, without their ever doing anything.

So, forgive. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. You needn’t seek out the person and make up. It might be nice, but it is not always desireable. Some relationships are best left in the past.

But you can cut the ties that bind you to the emotions of the thing they did to you. You can forgive them and finally “let it go.”

The Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Matthew, from today’s Mass on the Tuesday of the First Week of Lent:

And when praying, do not choose many words, as the pagans do. For they think that by their excess of words they might be heeded.

Therefore, do not choose to imitate them. For your Father knows what your needs may be, even before you ask him.

Therefore, you shall pray in this way: Our Father, who is in heaven: May your name be kept holy.

May your kingdom come. May your will be done, as in heaven, so also on earth.

Give us this day our life-sustaining bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation. But free us from evil. Amen.

For if you will forgive men their sins, your heavenly Father also will forgive you your offenses.

But if you will not forgive men, neither will your Father forgive you your sins.

via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

Recite the prayer, slowly and prayerfully. Especially the last few lines on forgiveness.

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My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A broken and contrite heart

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An excerpt from the Responsorial Psalm in today’s Mass for the Friday after Ash Wednesday:

Psalm 51:19

“A crushed spirit is a sacrifice to God. A contrite and humbled heart, O God, you will not spurn.”

via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

A crushed spirit is the person who is aware of their sins, is wounded by them and who has demonstrated sincere humility in desiring to repent of them.

Offer up the pain of your remorse and your dread of being separated from God by the sins. Lift up your heart and soul and pray for forgiveness. If you do a thorough (“fearless and searching”) examination of conscience you can often get through to the root of repeated and consistent sins. Go to Confession frequently throughout Lent to aid in ridding yourself of the root causes of sin.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Onesimus

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February 16th is the feast day of a somewhat obscure Saint, which is odd as he figures prominently in a Letter of St. Paul.

In St. Paul’s Letter to Philemon, the Apostle reveals that Onesimus, a slave of Philemon who escaped, possibly with stolen property of his master’s, has been with him for some time and has been of valuable service. Onesimus has also been baptized and as such is now a brother in Christ to Paul and Philemon, as the latter is also a Christian. However Paul is convinced that due to the Christian charity that Philemon has shown in the past, he will take back Onesimus and greet him as a brother, equal in dignity and will not punish Onesimus or re-enslave him.

And so Onesimus is sent back to Philemon by Paul, with this Letter as a sort of greeting and passage.

I’ve always been intrigued by this. Imagine you’re Onesimus. You’ve been a slave. There must have been a reason why you escaped. Was Philemon cruel? Or did you just have an instinctive aversion to being considered property of another? You just saw an opportunity to leave and took it? Anyway, the punishment for escaped slaves was most likely death. Probably painful and not quick if you’re also guilty of theft. And now your new friend, whom you’ve been serving and who has treated you like an equal, a person, is sending you back to your old master. With full confidence that Philemon’s Christianity is all that is standing between you and a painful termination.

Would you want to return?

I didn’t think so. Me neither.

But Onesimus did. He probably did not go willingly, but apparently his faith in the Gospel of Jesus that Paul preached was enough to convince him that it is the right thing to do. So Onesimus’ faith overcame his possible very strong natural lack of inclination to return.

I think for that reason St. Onesimus should be of interest to alcoholics and addicts. Not that he was one, but we all do not want to do the things that we have to. Our addictive personality may make this disinclination stronger in us than in most people. “Normal” people can overcome unwillingness seemingly by just going ahead and doing the thing. But we have to use our spiritual toolkit to convince ourselves to “get going” and do the thing. We have our daily meditations, slogans and other aids to get us to do things that other people just do.

St. Onesimus can be our aid in this. Although I don’t think he is the patron saint of anything, he should be the Patron Saint of People Who Really Do Not Want to Do the Things That They Really Have to Do. ( I have to find a shorter, catchier term. “Patron Saint for People Who need Courage?” Still rather long…)

Read more on Saint Onesimus at SQPN.

Onesimus

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death! Where is your sting?

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NOTE: this post is a version slightly edited from The Four Last Things. “O death! You separate those who are joined to each other in marriage. You harshly and cruelly divide those whom friendship unites. But your power is broken. Your heinous yoke has been destroyed by the One who sternly threatened you when Hosea cried out: O Death! I shall be your death. And with the words of the apostle we, too, deride you: O death! Where is your victory? O death! Where is your sting!

Your conqueror redeemed us. He handed himself over to wicked men so that he could transform the wicked into persons who were truly dear to him.” – St. Braulio, Bishop.

The above is from the Office of Readings in the Office of the Dead from the Liturgy of the Hours. I said that this morning instead of the usual Divine Office as today is the ninth anniversary of my Mom’s death.

I still haven’t gotten completely over it. Who really does “get over” death? Perhaps some unfortunates.

I posted the above quote from St. Braulio to give comfort and to remind you that there is hope in the Resurrection. I also post it to remind those that harbor resentments that the clock is ticking. Once people are gone, they’re gone. Amends can no longer be made.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Set things right

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This excerpt of the First Reading from today’s Mass for Tuesday of the Second Week of Lent is from Isaiah 1:18

Come now, let us set things right,says the LORD. Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; Though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool.

via USCCB.

The Sacrament of Confession is how you can “set things right” with the Lord. No matter how serious your sins are, no matter what you have done, forgiveness is always available from God. Go to Confession soon, it can save your soul. There is NO SIN that God cannot forgive!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Forgive and you will be forgiven

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This excerpt from the Gospel for today’s Mass is Luke 6:37 “…Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

via USCCB.

Forgiveness is a recurring theme recently on this blog. It is one of the more difficult things that I find to write about.

Elsewhere (not on this blog) I wrote: “This is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. Saying the “Lord’s Prayer” and really thinking about the part near the end (“forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others…”) helps.

I had always thought that in not forgiving, that in maintaining the hold that the wrong had on me, is like a victory. That in forgiving them I would be like letting them “get away with it,” and they would “win.” Now I realize that in not forgiving them, I keep giving them power over me, I am enabling them to continue winning, with no effort on their own. Without even realizing it, they were still hurting me, even long after their initial hurt.

In forgiving them, I am releasing their power over me, and in effect, defeating them.

This may enable me to love them, again. Someday. Maybe.”

A big “maybe.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

God, you will not spurn

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The Responsorial Psalm from today’s Mass for Wednesday of the First Week of Lent is Psalm 51, a favorite of mine. It is also a favorite of the Church’s, as it appears often on Fridays in the Divine Office, and today is the second time since Lent began that it is used as the Responsorial. I also blogged about it last week: A heart contrite and humbled.

As it is a good prayer to use when you are truly contrite and wish to be reconciled to the Lord, it is not altogether strange that the Church emphasizes it at appropriate times. Perhaps the Church is reminding us of the need for repentannce, as well as frequent use of the Sacrament of Confession.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

From all their distress God rescues the just

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The refrain from the Responsorial Psalm from yesterday’s Mass of Tuesday of the First Week of Lent reads: “From all their distress God rescues the just.”

via USCCB.

It is derived from Psalm 34:18. For all of us suffering from some sort of distress, these are comforting words.

Just don’t forget the qualifier: whom does He rescue? “The Just.”

Are you? Maybe you should read this post again.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A heart contrite and humbled

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The response for the Psalm (Psalm 51:9) for today’s Mass is: “a contrite, humbled heart, O God, you will not scorn.”

As this is Lent, chances are that if you are taking it seriously as a means of spiritual progression in the rejecting of sin and self-will, as well as in the casting off of character defects, then you might be taking advantage of the Sacrament of Confession more so than during the rest of the year.

The Responsorial Psalm today is from Psalm 51. It is an excellent Psalm to pray and meditate upon before going to Confession. I have written a series of meditations before on it, found here: Psalm 51.

Pray for the humility to be truly contrite, and make a good Confession.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)