Category Archives: Meanderings

Going outside to get outside

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I am taking advantage of some warm temperatures and am blogging from outside. It is near 60 degrees out, and despite being a wee bit chilly with the breeze, I am insistent upon staying outdoors with my MacBook and blogging.

I am basically saying this, that aside from being a little cabin-feverish from being inside all winter, and “enjoying” the outdoors only by rushing to the vehicles to go somewhere, or to get quickly back inside, I need to get outdoors for a bit to “get outside” myself. I think I have blogged on this theme before. The idea is that one cure for what ails you is to go outdoors. By going outdoors and into nature (or whatever passes for it where you are) you can escape for a while the narrow confines of the traps your minds sets for you. The stinkin’ thinkin’ that alcoholics and addicts find themselves in is not easily discarded. One good way is to immerse yourself in something greater than yourself.

I believe Pope Blessed John Paul II said somewhere that believers should go outside to meet God. In nature you find the Lord. He created it, and in His works you can find Him. This does not mean, of course, that you can dispense with Church. In Church (Catholic ones) He is truly really Present. But outdoors, in nature, He is spiritually there, and so you can connect with Him on a different level. Meeting Him in nature is like showing up at a friend’s house “as you are,” no need to get dressed up and be your best. (Although from the Masses I attend, people seem to take this attitude to Church.)

Going outside helps you to get outside of yourself. You get a shift in perspective. Hopefully, a perspective shift that causes a change in attitude.

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics — A SoberCatholic.com book

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Garry, Part 2: Alcoholics who still suffer

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I just finished writing about Garry and I mentioned in there about how sobriety and serenity seemed elusive for him.

This does not make him any less valuable of an individual than any other. Yes, he was arrested for DWI, one of the most irresponsible of all crimes. It does not have to happen. You could stay home and safely get trashed if that is as far as you want to go with your drinking. “Lose” your car keys. To drink too much and them get behind the wheel of what essentially becomes a weapon is grossly disgusting and DWI penalties should be severe.

However, people are not disposable things to be tossed aside or thrown out if shown to be apparently useless. Alcoholics, especially those who never quite seem to “get” sobriety should be removed from harming others. Current state laws regarding repeat offenders do not yet address this quickly enough.

I write this just in case anyone who read my post on Garry felt that I was too compassionate with him, given that he was arrested for DWI and could have injured or killed an innocent person.

I am aware that could have happened. And in other times and places and with other people it has.

But, I am writing on my friend Garry, and the reactions I gleaned from the commenters in the online versions of the various news reports I found make me question people’s humanity.

Quite a few people were vicious in their attacks. None of these mentioned the possibility of the death of an innocent bystander as the basis of their acrimony. Just that Garry is a dumb drunk, a redneck wannabe and therefore is a piece of human refuse.

Bear in mind that Jesus Christ ate and preferred the company of sinners. From hookers and tax collectors to associating with lepers and who knows what other types of human “garbage,” He loved them all. He even had nice things to say about Roman soldiers.

He knew that these were people made in God’s image and likeness, and despite the low regard and station of their lives, deserved a basic respect and dignity. He came to heal them, not the righteous.

What can be done about them? Minister to them, heal them. Go out into the wilderness of the streets and alleys where they live and work and try to reach them and heal them. Show them a better way.

For chronic DWI offenders like Garry, perhaps take away their driver’s licenses much sooner and increase the penalties for driving without one. As well as more draconian DWI penalties if caught while driving illegally.

But to casually and maliciously just throw people away and disregard them is unChristian. I perhaps may feel somewhat different if I knew personally someone who was killed by a drunk. I would hope that I would, however, take the final words of the Lord’s Prayer seriously and forgive those who trespass us as we ask for forgiveness for ourselves. There is the occasional story you hear about how the family members of a crime victim do forgive the criminal. That takes a special strength. A strength drawn from a faith that is NOT convenient, but a real one that doesn’t change when things in life get too rough. A faith that is lived.

There are people out there who still suffer from an affliction that is seemingly incurable for them. I could be Garry, but somehow certain things just clicked and I sobered up and remained so for 9 1/2 years.

Some of us are painfully aware that we could have killed someone during our drinking days.

But for the grace of God, go I. And you.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Revived Catholic-based recovery network possibly starting on Monday (Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe)

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There is a tentative plan for a new Catholic-based recovery network to start on Monday, the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. OLG has nothing to do with addiction recovery, but I just think that it would be nice to start it on one of Mary’s holidays.

I have sent emails to the people who have expressed interest in joining, and this is a reminder to them and especially anyone else. If you would like to be notified, please email me at paulcoholic at gmail dot com.

I am also tentatively thinking of starting it on Yahoo, as an email subscription service (the idea is described here: Reviving a Catholic-based recovery network. But, in short, discussion on recovery issues and personal struggles are conducted by way of emails. Anonymity is assured, if you so desire it. That is basically up to you and what email address you use and what the username is. BTW, the email address need not be a Yahoo.com one. Any email address can be used for a YahooID. If not, then a Yahoo.com email address is free anyway, so no trouble there.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

An Introduction to the St. Francis Mission Among the Lakota

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November has been Native American Heritage Month, and as a part of that I would like to bring to your attention the “St. Francis Mission Among the Lakota”, a ministry of the Society of Jesus (also known as the “Jesuits”- a Catholic religious order dating back centuries) and is located on the Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota. It was established in 1886. It exists, to quote their website: “… to re-evangelize Catholic Lakota people and bring the Gospel of Jesus the Christ to those who have not heard it.”

The St. Francis Mission Among the Lakota is a the largest not-for-profit organization on the Reservation that is not a government -controlled or -funded program. Among their many services are programs in addiction recovery, as there is a serious alcoholism addiction crisis present. The Mission operates two centers for this on the Rosebud Reservation: the White River Recovery Center and the Icimani Ya Waste’ Recovery Center. Through these centers they offer several 12 Step Meetings and also programs from the renowned Betty Ford Institute.

There will be a series of posts here on SoberCatholic.com, starting today to highlight the incidence of alcoholism on the Reservation and to bear witness to the wonderful work the Mission is doing in response to this.

I had the opportunity to conduct interviews via email with two of the Mission’s people, Fr. John Hatcher, SJ, the President of the Mission, and Mrs. Geraldine Provencial, the Director of the Icimani Ya Waste’ Recovery Center. These were done through the services of Corrie Oberdin, Online Marketing Strategist at Corrie Oberdin {dot} Net |.

It is my hope that you will take an interest in the Mission and its work. The following links contain information pertinent to the Mission and the Reservation.

For information on the recovery programs: Recovery programs at the St. Francis Mission

St. Francis Mission Main Page

Mission Headquarters

(Photo courtesy Mike O’Sullivan at the Mission)

About the Mission

Blog of the St. Francis Mission

Christmas is coming: Store at St. Francis Mission

The St. Francis Mission’s Channel on YouTube

St. Francis Mission on Twitter

Their radio station
KINIFM.com Main Page, streaming online: KINI 96.1 FM Streaming LIVE!

(Via St. Francis Mission.)

By the way, I am not a Native American, just sympathetic. 😉

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Clearing your mind of distractions

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There was a commercial that ran on American TV a decade ago. I do not remember for what product. Anyway, it featured Phil Jackson, the Head Coach of the Los Angeles Lakers, as a cab driver. Some high-powered looking lawyer/executive couple (man and woman) had simultaneously climbed into the back seat of his cab and gave differing destinations. If I recall, they were confused about them. Cabbie Phil spouted a New-Agey philosophical observation on “Clearing your mind of all distractions and focusing on the business at hand is pivotal.” (I wrote it down as I was in early sobriety and was keen on extracting bits of wisdom from any source. I copied it into my Big Book.)

Some other time, doesn’t matter when as I watched re-runs of it whenever I could, I saw an episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” entitled Birthright, Part II (Via Memory Alpha, the Star Trek Wiki.) In it, there is a scene in which Lt. Worf is doing the “mok’bara”, which I always took to be Klingon Tai chi chuan (Via Wikipedia.). As he is explaining the practice, he says “The form clears the mind, and centers the body.” (I wrote that down too, in my Big Book. Still in early sobriety at the time.)

Perhaps developing a ritual in that which is important come first: Matthew 6:33: “Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Via DRBO.)

Begin the day with prayer and meditation (See: Keeping Your Head on Straight, Part 1 (Regular Daily Prayer) and Keeping Your Head on Straight, Part 2 (Regular Daily Prayer)) Then write and blog for however long until the feeling of “being productive” hits.

Save email, RSS feeds and daily news reviewing as well as social network checking in for some time AFTER a measure of blogging and writing have been done. Same goes for all the “tools” for getting organized. Look at those at the end of the day to get an idea of what the next day holds and then glance at them after the hour or so of creative work.

The “form” clears the mind of all distractions and centers the body, so that focusing on the business at hand is possible. Huh. Maybe.

I just wrote Faithful in small matters. This is sort of a follow-up.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Faithful in small matters

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I am struggling with a few things. (So what else is new?) If I were to time travel back a few years and report on this to a past self this would be a little surprising to that old self given that I am more successful in life now than I had been in any previous period.

The main thing I am struggling with is time for my writing and blogging. I have a full-time job consisting of four shifts, each of ten hours. Add to that the time for the commute and a nice home life, four days out of my week are accounted for. The remaining three days never seem like enough to do what I need and want. “Wow! I have 3 days off!” Real life things seem to crop up, as they do for everyone. This isn’t a complaint, just an observation. I actually like real life. It is just a bit messy. My real life has a lot of neat things in it that kind of get in the way of my creative efforts. But real writers and bloggers have that stuff going on, too, and they seem to have time for their creative work.

Two words: “Time management”.

I can do better with that. One thing I had contemplated was changing jobs (never easy for me) to one that is a more normal one of 5, eight hour days.

But the thought occurred to me that this would give me just more time to do non-writing things. “Work expands to fill the time allotted it” is a saying I found sometime ago. I think it is also true that “anything” expands to fill the time allotted it. Or, the conflicting thought that in working 5 days I would have one more day to be too tired from work and not write or blog that day, either, as well as having real life stuff take up more of the two remaining days.

I can be complicated, especially in regards to time.

Which comes back to those two words: “time management”.

So, how to do that? There’s all sorts of “Getting Things Done” courses and computer applications to help you better organize your time. Yeah, like they would work for me.

I was in Eucharistic Adoration (my weekly Holy Hour) and the following scriptural passage drifted across my brain:

Matthew 25:21: “His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy.'”

(Via USCCB.)

It was the ending of the parable of the talents, in which a Master gave 3 servants different amounts of money, 2 of them did well with the gifts and were rewarded with more, one failed and was punished.

So, in thinking of that, I decided that time can be treated in this manner. Make the most out of the gift of time that you have and do not squander it. I am aware that this is no stunningly original realization, millions have latched onto this notion as a motivating factor to do things before they run out of time. But this is from a Christian angle. We are given a limited amount of time on Earth. We are all called to do God’s will and to help establish the kingdom of God here on Earth. Treat time as a currency that we invest in building God’s kingdom on Earth so that ultimately we are rewarded with the greeting from the passage.

Rather than asking for more time to do certain things like write and blog, perhaps instead I shall endeavor to make the best use of the time I already have. Maybe in doing this, a better job opportunity may somehow present itself to me in which I will have subsequently more hours to write and blog. (Such as online writing work that pays?)

I am not treating this as an “if/then” statement. Like: “If I write more with the time I already have available, then God will give me a better job.” That’s simplistic and formulaic. But perhaps the more disciplined life that results from this will have a correspondingly more productive effect on other areas of life, especially writing and blogging.

This isn’t the first time I’ve tried “time management”, but perhaps things were too chaotic for my meager attempts before. Life is somewhat more stable (relatively speaking). Anyway, as long as one always picks oneself up after a fall, failure can’t be conceded.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hey… Dad?…. you wanna have a catch?

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Ray: “(choking back tears) Hey… Dad?…. you wanna have a catch?”

Dad: “I’d like that…”

Field Of Dreams: catch.mp3

(Via MovieWavs Page.)

That line and scene from the “Field of Dreams” movie always gets to me.

My father is dead, and I’ll never play catch with him again (unless we meet again in Heaven).

Playing catch with my Dad was one of the happiest experiences with him I had when I was a child.

We did not part on the best of terms, but that is all in the past. I feel he is watching over me from Heaven, and is probably wondering why I am wasting a perfectly good sunny day sitting inside typing on my computer, when I can be outside doing something in the yard. (Unless there was a baseball game on TV, that might merit staying in. But we don’t have cable or satellite TV, so that’s out. 🙁 The Yankees might be on the radio, but I hate the Yankees. 😉 )

Later…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Time and Sobriety

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Today, May 22, 2011 marks my 9th sober anniversary. I did a little reflecting on the 9 years and thought “what a long, strange trip it’s been.” (Apologies to Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead.)

I think I’ve made the best of it. I sobered up in time to care for my Mom before she died. (Although my family disputes the importance of my being there for her. One reason I speak as little to them as I can.) I had enough strength to cope with her death and the painful struggles (quite a bit were family-inflicted) afterwards. I eventually found love and married a nice lady (ARTIST4GOD: Rose Santuci-Sofranko) and established myself in a nice job caring for people with disabilities.

I also started this site which has been well received, for a niche blog in the Catholic blogosphere.

Yes, nine years of sobriety. One of the 12 Step daily meditations says that we alcoholics have 2 lifetimes, the one before sobriety and the one we are given after sobering up. So, today I am 9 years old.

Happy Birthday to me! 🙂

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Beatification of Pope John Paul II Online Schedules

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Pope John Paul 2 will be beatified in ceremonies at the Vatican this Sunday, May 1, 2011. Here is a listing of fairly comprehensive English language programming covering the event, and these are links to online schedules as well as live, online streaming of the ceremonies if you wish to view it on you computer:

First off is EWTN, a major American global Catholic TV and radio network:

EWTN coverage: “Beatification of Pope John Paul II Coverage with EWTN Catholic Television Network”

(Via EWTN.)

Next is “CatholicTV”, not to be confused with “RealCatholicTV”:

CatholicTV: “Online Schedule of Papal Programming”

(Via CatholicTV.)

The Canadian “Salt and Light TV” offers their programming here:

Salt + Light Television: “John Paul II Beatification”

Their live stream is here:

Streaming LIVE | Salt + Light Television

(Via Salt + Light TV.)

“Pope2you” is a Vatican service in the new social media age:

Pope2you: “Pope John Paul II – The Beatification”

(Via Pope2You.)

“Xt3” is a Catholic social network founded after the Sydney World Youth Day. Although they are focused on WYDs, they are a comprehensive social network:

Xt3: “Beatification: Live webcast”, and the stream is found here: John Paul II: “webcast”

(Via Xt3.)

And finally, and certainly not the least of these, here is the Home Office’s offerings:

Vatican Radio – Vatican Radio CTV, : “Bringing Rome to your home for JPII beatification”

The stream is found here (I think) Vatican Player

(Via Radio Vatican.)

The above links are not presented in any particular order of importance. If you find any link to be wrong or broken, etc, please email me or comment. All comments are moderated but I hope to get to them as quickly as I can.

Pope John Paul 2 was very important to me. He was the Pope during my departure from the Church, thus proving how stupid and prideful I can be, and he was reigning when I returned. His papacy was instrumental in my reversion and re-formation of my faith.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Treating addictions as if they were a bad habit

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I chanced upon an interesting article that proposes a relatively “easy” take on beating addictions:

You Don’t Need Help to Beat an Addiction or a Bad Habit—Just Yourself

(Via Lifehacker.)

The central premise of this idea is contained in the article’s third paragraph, which basically treats addictions like they are bad habits, and you have to recognize the immediate bad effects they are having on your life.

The notion is related to ideas that addictions are not a disease or genetic disorder, such as mentioned here: Alcoholism is not a Disease and here: Myth of an ‘Addict Gene’ (Courtesy of Addiction Info.)

First, you have to realize that whatever the addiction is, it is causing you problems. Then you have to consider all the bad effects that the addiction is having on your life, right now. This is key, according to the article. It is easier to consider the immediate now rather than the long term later. This is understood by all addicts and alcoholics, “we want what we want, and we want it now.”

Once you realize the bad effects that the addiction is having on your life, focus and amplify those bad feelings, and eventually your behavior will change. Sort of like do-it-yourself aversion therapy.

Nice, in theory.

In short, to a serious addict this may sound like: “My drinking is bad. Really bad. It is messing up my life, my home life is being ruined by it, I’m about to lose my job, and losing all this will destroy me. OK, so if I focus on these bad feelings of losing all this stuff, I will start to prefer the things I am about to lose, and be less interested in drinking.” I am thinking that a person who is seriously in the grips of an addiction will find it difficult to follow along that line of rational thought.

Addicts generally feel that their addiction is helping them to cope with their problems, and only after much suffering and loss might they come around to the idea that their addiction is the source. By this time their mind and will is so affected by the addiction that it might prove difficult to realize the truth of their problem’s cause. The immediate gratification effect of drinking or using again may prove easier than mentally contemplating how this “habit” is destroying their life. Doing that may just generate more internal conflict: “I want a drink” combined with “No, this is bad, it is costing me such and such” may just yield a desire to drink again to ease the pain. The idea also assumes that the addict must seriously believe that the addiction is worse than their daily living activities. There may be a preference for the addiction versus the healthy life, if they feel that their healthy life has little value.

Support groups organized to reinforce this thinking that the immediate effect is bad could assist as I doubt that any serious addict could accomplish this on their own.

There is merit in the idea. It is an excellent way to avert sinful behavior. We all vow to have a “firm purpose of amendment” when we go to Confession. This idea sounds reminiscent of aids to maintaining virtue as proposed by various saints. Be vigilant on the destructive nature of sin, as it applies to your life now.

Anyway, it is something to mull over.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)