Category Archives: Meditations

Accepting the Cross

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From the Gospel reading for Friday, February 16:

Mark 8:34-38

Jesus summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them,
“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake
and that of the Gospel will save it.
What profit is there for one to gain the whole world
and forfeit his life?
What could one give in exchange for his life?
Whoever is ashamed of me and of my words
in this faithless and sinful generation,
the Son of Man will be ashamed of
when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”

The life of the Christian is not intended to be easy. No special material or other worldly favors are granted those who are followers of Jesus. As the above Scriptural passage indicates Christians are expected to accept the cross of Jesus and and all the contradictions that go with it. “Lose life to save it…” and so on. Christ died on the Cross and saved us from damnation, we must “die on the cross” to free ourselves from our worldly orientation which says “Suffering is bad. Flee from it any way you can.”

We can see the parallels in our suffering from alcoholism. We turned away from the troubles of life, to ease our pain from them, by seeking medication in alcohol. This did not make our troubles any easier, or make them go away. It appeared so at first, because like normal drinkers who can use alcohol to “take the edge off”, we also found things soothing at first. But not for long.

To be a Christian means to accept suffering. One cannot avoid it, it is a natural part of human existence because of Original Sin. To avoid it only makes it worse. We need to recognize this and make a turnaround in our approach to suffering.

By accepting the cross, that is, to accept suffering as a part of our lives means to allow Jesus to assist us. By resisting suffering, we refuse Jesus’ help. We become one with Him, when we take up His cross. He becomes to us what Simon of Cyrene was to Him, a person pressed into service to bear the weight of suffering.

By turning into it, instead of fleeing, the trials and tribulations of life seem lesser. They aren’t, but by fleeing from them our perception of them makes them seem scarier. By turning into them and acccepting them, they are cut down to size.

This is not easy. We are like an ocean liner or oil tanker which takes miles of travel before turning. But eventually, and with persistence, it will work.

There will be backsliding. Times when things seem too much and we scream “ENOUGH!” But if we have the fortitude, we’ll recognize these for what they are and orient ourselves properly.

All this does not mean that we seek out suffering. We do not become masochists and take pleasure in it. We simply humbly accept whatever burdens come our way, acknowledge them and work through them. We roll up our sleeves and say “This pretty much sucks, but complaining about isn’t gonna help.”

In a way, we become martyrs, but without all the blood. That part of ourselves which yells “Run away! Run away!!” becomes quieter, and we become stronger, more able to overcome.

Face the monster of suffering. Make it shrink.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Healing and Patience

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From the Gospel reading from today’s Mass:

Mark 8:22-26

When Jesus and his disciples arrived at Bethsaida,
people brought to him a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him.
He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village.
Putting spittle on his eyes he laid his hands on the man and asked,
“Do you see anything?”
Looking up the man replied, “I see people looking like trees and walking.”
Then he laid hands on the man’s eyes a second time and he saw clearly;
his sight was restored and he could see everything distinctly.
Then he sent him home and said, “Do not even go into the village.”

We are alcoholics for whatever the reason, whatever the origins. We want and need a healing. Not necessarily with the idea of ever drinking again, but a healing of the craving and compulsion to drink.

And so we turn to Jesus, who came not for the healthy, but for the sick.
(Mark 2:17 Jesus heard this and said to them (that), “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.”)

And so Jesus healed the blind man. But one curious thing, the man was not healed immediately. Why? The notes in the NAB translation say that it is symbolic of the gradual illumination of the Apostles eyes to the wisdom of Christ’s teachings. Probably, but let us take a harmless liberty and approach it from the perspective of this blog.

In our alcoholism, we frequently wanted things, and wanted them NOW. The same may be true in our recovery. We want to be better right away.

As this Gospel example shows Jesus healed the blind man, but gradually. We need to take this to heart. We can prayerfully request for Jesus to heal us of our afflictions, but the healing may take time. But as the episode shows, it will occur.

We have to learn patience and in God’s time we will be healed.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Leaven: relapsing before the event

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From the Gospel according Mark 8:15
He enjoined them, “Watch out, guard against the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod.”

This was from today’s Gospel reading.

Jesus was warning His disciples against the leaven of the Pharisees and of Herod. Leaven is that substance, such as yeast, which starts the fermentation process by which bread is made.

Since he was specifically singling out dark and evil individuals that were opposed to His teachings, we can surmise that Jesus was warning against the influence of these people. The slightest suggestions, arguments or persuasions may set a person on a course away from Jesus and His Way. The smallest seed of doubt planted can grow into something that may be difficult to uproot.

Such as it is with us alcoholics and addicts. It is said that relapses just do not happen. They don’t suddenly occur. There is the idea that a person mentally relapses which sets up the later action of walking into a liquor store and walking out with a bottle of vodka. Something happened which placed inside the mind of the alcoholic that there was a need for a drink. It does not matter what. But the seed germinated and like a vine wrapped itself around the person’s desires and the relapse happened.

Going to meetings interrupts the thought processes which lead to relapse. As Catholics, we also have additional tools at our disposal.

I believe that the fertile ground for the leaven is isolation. We are alone. Our thoughts develop in separation from each other and also from God. With little positive external input, the darkness grows and your perception is warped and skewed and then after a while the idea of a drink is attractive. And so you drink.

We can end the isolation and dry up the fertile ground through contact with others. One way is found in the bloggings I’ve done under the “Service and Volunteering” labels. Another way is through prayer.

Prayer puts you back on the path to God and orients your mind in the proper way. It interrupts the dark thought processes by which you think that drinking is a nice idea. It cleanses you. It releases and frees you.

Grab your Catholic Bible, whether its the New American Bible used in the USA or another Catholic translation, get it and prayerfully read the Gospels. Meditate on them and slowly absorb and assimilate their wisdom.

Connect with Jesus.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hope is the Lord and His Church

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From the First Reading of the Mass for the Sixth Sunday of Ordinary Time (11 Feb 2007)

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Thus says the LORD:
Cursed is the one who trusts in human beings,
who seeks his strength in flesh,
whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He is like a barren bush in the desert
that enjoys no change of season,
but stands in a lava waste,
a salt and empty earth.
Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
whose hope is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted beside the waters
that stretches out its roots to the stream:
it fears not the heat when it comes;
its leaves stay green;
in the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit.

The first two sentences can be thought to describe how we were during our drinking careers. Although we didn’t necessarily trust in human beings while we were drinking, we wanted to. And because we were untrustworthy, we were shunned, and we turned farther away from the Lord, to stand in a lava waste, a salty and empty earth.

After hitting bottom, we turned back to the Lord, by whatever means we had. We eventually ended up learning how to stay sober in AA, and thus were introduced to the concept of a Higher Power as an aid in keeping us sober.

By our own understanding, we came to believe that Jesus is that Higher Power, and by our own willingness were guided by the Holy Spirit in seeking out the Church. Many people in AA are suggested they seek out the Church of their youth as a possible source for spiritual growth and succor. Many Catholics return to the Faith. Many grow in it, but are arrested in their development by accepting too greatly the “Higher Power” concept and regard the Catholic Church as just one of another of Christian denominations. (It isn’t, and I’ll be starting a series of irregular postings on the subject of “Why the Church?” sometime soon.)

But as a seed to that end, re-read the last two sentences of the Scripture quote above. They can be describing us, after we’ve discovered how to handle sobriety, and especially how we are after we’ve accepted Jesus and His Church as the wellspring of our new life. Our “leaves stay green” and in times of drought we “show no distress.”

The Catholic Church is the Church that Jesus established, and it is the guardian of the fullness of the Gospel and Apostolic teachings.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

First Step: Powerlessness and weakness

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2 Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.

The First Step of AA is “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Many believe through misrepresentation in movies and TV that the first step is in admitting that you have a problem. This is wrong. You can admit to having a problem but still feel that using your own will you can beat it. (Although there are many alcoholics who have in fact beaten their alcoholism using their own will, or through some treatment program other than AA, this blog is focused on the Twelve Steps, and ultimately the Catholic Faith in liberating oneself from the drink. There are numerous paths to sobriety. This particular one uses the Steps for the foundation, and then Catholicism for the above ground floors.)

And so the first step is in admitting that you are powerless over the problem. I am an alcoholic, this means that I cannot drink safely, nor ever normally (because if I were able to drink normally, I’d drink all day), and I have tried on my own to stop drinking but was unable to do so, and only by the grace of God was I able to stop. Where I failed, God succeeded. I have surrendered to the fact that I cannot ever drink and have forsaken all possibility of doing so. Period. No matter how good or how bad, drinking is simply never an option. Ever. I cannot drink. Were I to do so, I would find my decision-making processes compromised and my cognitive reasoning skills sabotaged. There is no hope ever of me drinking again because of the crippling and disabling power of it.

And this is pretty OK with me. By accepting that I am powerless over alcohol, in that if I allow it the slightest amount of chemical influence over me I would then lose, disinclines me to drink. By detaching myself from the need to drink alcohol to cope with any trouble or problem or difficulty, I am liberating myself to deal with whatever the issue is in a rational and proactive manner. I allow the graces of God in me to assist me in meeting the challenges. I am stronger as a result. My will decreases so that His will in me increases, hence the strength.

I sometimes envy those who can drink normally, that is just have a few and stop. I miss the opportunities to share a glass of wine or beer in a spirit of conviviality. But there are other ways of getting that. Blessed be those who can drink a little and just enjoy it and stop. It is a gift. But not everyone needs it.

St. Paul, in the Scriptural quote that opened this entry was referring to a particular problem that he had. God’s grace was sufficient to aid Paul in dealing with that problem, and that the power of God’s grace worked more completely in Paul’s weakness. Paul had begged to be released of his problem, but it was allowed to continue. Just as we alcoholics may beg God to be released of our alcoholism (so we can drink), we are not released. But God’s graces are sufficient to relieve us of the need to drink. The problem is there, but we have the freedom from using it. We are stronger than the problem, due to God’s graces.

Dwell on this and roll it over in your brain. We cannot cope with our addictions alone. We cannot get sober in isolation. We need God and others.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Keeping Your Head on Straight, Part 2 (Regular Daily Prayer)

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I seemed drawn to a more orderly prayer routine, almost liturgical in nature. Perhaps it was the daily Mass on EWTN and later my own Mass attendance at a local parish. At any rate, I found that meditating on the daily Mass readings helped me and gave my prayer life a more fulfilling routine. It also helped me to slowly start to see the year more in light of the Church’s liturgical calendar. The two periods of Ordinary Time, and Advent/Christmas, and Lent/Easter and Pentecost became as real to me as Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. And more relevant, too. This aided me in my continuing reversion to the Church. Seeing the year according to the Liturgical calendar helped me view the Church as a living, breathing organism, with its own tides and times.

When reading the Mass readings, or the Wisdom books and Gospels, I tried to discern a connection between what they were trying to say and my own sober journey. Either the path I was on, or just stuff that I was coping with then. The just gettin’ through the day stuff. Many times I got a connection, or advice on dealing with whatever I was going through. This gave an additional vibrancy to the liturgical calendar. Not to mention developing an increasingly greater tendency to seeking (or seeing) God’s will in daily life.

I then discovered the Liturgy of the Hours. This is also known as the Divine Office, An old name was the Roman Breviary. It is the official daily prayer of the Church, second only to the Mass. Mandatory for the Pope on down to the newest seminarian. Ordinary people (laity) can say it, and I’ve learned that it is increasingly popular amongst us. It is organized around the Psalms and other Biblical readings. It quite often ties in nicely with the daily Mass readings. It is ancient. Praying it connects you to all others in the Church who pray it, plus also those who’ve gone before. This gave a greater structure and sense of rhythm to my day.

To aid in that, this blog also has at the top links to the Daily Mass readings and also to the Liturgy of the Hours. The LOTH links (provided by Universalis) gives greater information on the Divine Office, if you’re curious. there is also a link in the sidebar to Presentation Ministries. In addition to also having the Mass readings, they also provide daily meditations that are beyond compare if you wish to live a radical, authentic Catholic life. They point to the ideal.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Keeping Your Head on Straight, Part 1 (Regular Daily Prayer)

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One of my early realizations about AA was that its brand of spirituality wasn’t enough for me. However, one of the good things it taught me was that a regular period of daily prayer and meditation was essential in “getting your head on straight” every morning. At first I read from daily devotionals based on AA’s 12 Steps. Then I progressed to seeking out Catholic texts. Prayer books were obvious.

The need for this is simple. We are at our weakest in the morning. It is then we are most susceptible to depression or any glum view of the day. To fall into a bad routine and not get out of it.

A regular prayer routine, starting as close as possible to when you awaken is essential to survival. Prayer connects you with something greater than yourself. Call it your “Higher Power” if you wish, but doing something ASAP in the general direction of God helps you to get your head oriented in the right direction.

In AA meetings you learn that sometimes a relapse back into drinking occurs before you actually take the drink. The mind relapses and the will follows and then the drinks start pouring. Meetings interrupt the flow of thought in the mental relapse; daily prayer affords the same benefits, but with greater spiritual effects. In prayer, in which you raise your heart and mind to God, either with Scriptural readings or set prayers written by Saints, you are allowing God in and enabling him to do His work. He recharges your batteries, rewires your electrical, fixes your plumbing. Re-orders your thought patterns. He heals.

And so I developed a routine of going through various prayer books I had, in addition to trying Bible reading (namely Psalms and the other Wisdom Books: Job, Proverbs, Ecclesiates, Song of Songs, Wisdom and Sirach. Job is tough and I set it aside for a while. Still haven’t yet read it through.) The Gospels are relaxing. Any of those are a great start in a regular routine of daily prayer. There is no greater prayer book on Earth than the Holy Bible. Fifteen minutes a day is a good start. Don’t be too surprised if you find yourself reading and praying longer.

Next post continues with specifics.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

"…before you were born I dedicated you…"

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Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you…”

This was taken from the First Reading of the Mass today, the Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time.

Meditate upon that. Think about that the next time you’re feeling worthless and discouraged. Especially of when others are tearing you down because of your alcoholism or addictions. Despite all that, God held you in His Mind and contemplated you from all eternity. And He had a plan for your life. Alcoholism may have in some way been a part of that plan, as strange as that seems. Sometimes we discover the whys of it in recovery. It can be a healing and a fulfillment. A point of joy or a reason for resentment. If the former, then the healing occurs. If the latter, then the addiction may never be overcome.

Knowing that God knew you and loved you before you were born sheds a certain perspective on the whole thing, and how one chooses to react is telling.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)