Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 2

Anxiety is another cross that we alcoholics have to bear. Fears and worries about the future or about present circumstances and the apparent powerlessness over them leads to anxiety.

Anxiety happens when faith is weak or absent. We lack the confidence that God is there to help us or provide for us, and we feel we are cast adrift. Our inability to deal with things in the past had pushed us to drinking as a means to cope, and now without that crutch anxiety fills the gap.

Anxiety fills the empty spaces where love and faith should abide.

At Mass is the following dialogue after the Lord’s Prayer:

Priest: Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Via Catholic Resources.)

One of the little-known effects of the Mass is that it is a weapon against anxiety. If we are the faithful servants of our Lord then we should be confident that the One who died for us will not let us stumble and fall beyond His reach.

The Mass is the drama of God’s love for us. Immerse yourself in it. (Helpful if you are a member of a parish with a reverent priest who says the Mass properly.)

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

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My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Deadly Sin

There is a death beyond which you cannot imagine. There is a thing which can kill you forever and from which there is no relief.

That thing is mortal sin.

Mortal sin is that sin in which you cut yourself off from God completely, from which there is no eternal life if you die with it on your soul. You condemn yourself to Hell for all eternity.

1 John 5:16-17;

If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life.

This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray.

All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church discusses mortal sin at length in the following paragraphs:

1855
Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him.

Venial sin allows charity to subsist, even though it offends and wounds it.

1856
Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us—that is, charity—necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and a conversion of heart which is normally accomplished within the setting of the sacrament of reconciliation:

When the will sets itself upon something that is of its nature incompatible with the charity that orients man toward his ultimate end, then the sin is mortal by its very object . . . whether it contradicts the love of God, such as blasphemy or perjury, or the love of neighbor, such as homicide or adultery. . . . But when the sinner’s will is set upon something that of its nature involves a disorder, but is not opposed to the love of God and neighbor, such as thoughtless chatter or immoderate laughter and the like, such sins are venial.

1857
For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”

1858
Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: “Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother.” The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger.

1859
Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.

1860
Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.

1861
Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom, as is love itself. It results in the loss of charity and the privation of sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make choices for ever, with no turning back. However, although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.

I write about this as there is the real possibility of mortal sins having been committed in our alcoholic past. Granted that there is a serious mitigating factor in that our will was compromised by our addiction, but still our moral reasoning may be in need of correction after sobering up. A strong examination of our alcoholic past in our moral inventory is likely to turn up some unsavory behaviors. Exposing them to another in 12 Step work isn’t enough. It does help clear the past and set us on a straighter moral path, but the stain of sin remains from these past actions.

These need to be taken care of in our return to the Sacrament of Confession. The chance need not be risked that our alcoholism or any other addiction can be used as an excuse to avoid Confession.

Supposition that we’ve suffered enough from them is not good enough, we need the sacramental graces from Confession and the absolution cleansing our soul to save us from damnation.

Our eternal life depends upon it.

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My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A sense of balance

When one area of my life is out of whack I have found it important to have something useful to serve as a kind of counterweight to it.

Having a life outside one’s job (for example) provides a sense of balance. When we work full-time we have a sense of displacement in our lives. Work occupies so much of our time that the things outside it like family and home are often shoved to the margins or ignored or otherwise given second-rate status. The need to provide income to support the family gets in the way of fully realizing what is truly important, and that is the family and home you are working to support.

Not rejecting the importance of providing for the family, there must be a realization that something must be done to restore a certain sense of balance to the whole equation. Time must be carved out of whatever “free time” you have off from work so as to devote to family and home.

Why is this important? Because when all this is out of whack, there lies the path back to drinking. An easy way to cope with the stress and anxiety is to drink. Bad idea.

Eliminate distracting non-essentials. Television really isn’t that important. It isn’t quality time spent with family. (Perhaps the occasional movie or ballgame being an exception. I also make room for the Star Trek sagas, but I actually haven’t seen them in over 2 1/2 years due to not having cable TV or satellite.The DVD’s are too expensive.) Anyway, a productive and meaningful life outside of work is healthy and sober. I am married and my wife is cute, funny and intelligent. Way more fun than TV. We spend lots of time outside putting gardens in or touring the countryside. We “go outside to get outside.”

I also blog. Writing is an avocation for me and it helps me improve my sense of self-worth. I hope to eventually do it full-time (blogging and fiction writing). At any rate, all these do provide an effective counterweight to work. Not always 100% effective, but more certain than moping and zoning out in front of the TV. Or drinking.

I am also Catholic. My faith is important to me and it has helped me weather many storms since becoming sober. It provides fulfillment and a healthy disconnect from the ways of the world so that I am not sucked into its madness and silliness. I am in the world, but not of it. Jesus came to heal the sick, and His Church is one of healing. The Eucharist and Confession are excellent ways to clean up the wreckage of the past. The sacramental and prayer life of the Church are also wonderful ways of maintaining that sense of balance. Nothing like raising your heart, mind and soul up to God to gain a real perspective.

“This, too, shall pass.” Only if you’re moving along.

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My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The sins of my youth

In the Liturgy of the Hours reading for Daytime Prayer (Midday) there is a line from Sacred Scripture that stood out:

Psalm 25:7: “Remember no more the sins of my youth; remember me only in light of your love.

(Via USCCB.)

Our alcoholic and addictive past is full of wreckage, mostly sinful. The weight of that past drags us down unless we clean it up by turning to God. The Sacrament of Reconciliation (aka “Confession” or “Penance”) is there for our use. It cleanses us of our sins and washes clean our past before God. It is a Sacrament of Love in that our Father in Heaven takes us back and welcomes us to Him because we repented of our sins and turned to Him for forgiveness.

In the “Big Book” of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. New York, 2001) there is a line on page 83,

“We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.”

This is part of the 10th Step Promises, which detail a list of positive changes in attitude if one has persevered in working the first Nine Steps. I won’t go into all that now. But our regret of the past is rooted in the stain of sin on our souls, our wish to “not shut the door on it” is rooted in humility. If we do not remember our past, we will make the same mistakes again. Our remembering the past tempers any judgmental attitude towards others and helps us to use compassion in our dealings with people. Quite often they are as messed up as we are.

Psalm 51:3-5: “Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.

Wash away all my guilt; from my sin cleanse me.

For I know my offense; my sin is always before me.”

(Via USCCB.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 5

The Fifth Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is that a person does not conceal any sinful thoughts, or any wrongs committed in secret, but humbly confesses them.

The Step was intended for monks to do this in respect to his abbot (man who is in charge of the monastery), but we also can do this with our priests in Confession.

Psalm 32:5;

Then I declared my sin to you; my guilt I did not hide. I said, “I confess my faults to the LORD,” and you took away the guilt of my sin.

It is out of pride that we refuse to confess. From the blasphemous mortal sin of presuming that God cannot forgive a serious sin, to just concealing something out of embarrassment, pride is the agent here. We must confess our sins to a priest for absolution and penance, this at least humbles us by bringing our misdeeds to the light of day.

From Step 5 of various 12 Step movements:

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

So even a non-religious group feels that it is of great importance to reveal to another one’s wrongdoings. There is a certain catharsis in doing so, a definite change is felt within by the act of confessing, either in sacramental Confession or in “doing the Fifth Step” with someone.

Feeling that you can just confess sins straight to God is just a cop-out. Explore your feelings deep within, and if you’re honest, you’ll discover that you’re not being “pious” in talking to God, you’re running away from the sins and embarrassment they cause.

Confessing to another introduces you to the concept of “honesty”, another humility-inducing act.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics: Day 8

Today we pray the eighth day of our Novena to Matt Talbot for Alcoholics. Like yesterday we begin with:

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold him/her in Your love and restore him/her to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Again, as in the past few days I’ll take the post hint from the “Prayer for the Addicted.” This time I’ll concentrate on the “assurance of Your unfailing mercy” line.

God’s mercy is limitless. We place limitations on it by not seeking it out or by assuming that our sins are greater than His mercy.

There is nothing that anyone has done that God cannot forgive. Period. His mercy endures forever as it says in the Psalms, and is there for the asking.

No matter how bad your past, it is wiped clean in God’s mercy.

In the sidebar of this blog there are a group of links entitled “Divine Mercy”. Please spend sometime exploring them as they will open up to you the wonders and riches of God’ mercy.

We conclude the daily novena with:

Official Prayer for the Canonization of Blessed Matt Talbot

“Lord, in your servant, Matt Talbot you have given us a wonderful example of triumph over addiction, of devotion to duty, and of lifelong reverence of the Holy Sacrament. May his life of prayer and penance give us courage to take up our crosses and follow in the footsteps of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Father, if it be your will that your beloved servant should be glorified by your Church, make known by your heavenly favours the power he enjoys in your sight. We ask this through the same Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

The source of these prayers is Circle of Prayer – Matt Talbot Intercedes for Alcoholics .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Finding Jesus

Penitent Jeff over at Conversion For Life as a nice reflection on the Fifth Joyful Mystery of the Rosary, “The Finding of Jesus in the Temple” here .

As Catholic Christians we do believe that Jesus is truly present, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist. Therefore He is there at Mass and in our Tabernacles or Adoration chapels. But we needn’t rely on going to those places when we need Him. He is wherever we are. He is within us as we possess the Holy Spirit due to our sacraments (wherever one member of the Trinity is present, the other two are also there).

Prayer, meditation and contemplation can help us find Jesus in our lives, either in our spiritual interior or in the lives of other people.

Next time you are lost, He can find you. Jesus isn’t far.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The well do not need a physician

The Gospel reading from today’s Mass (Saturday daily, not Sunday Vigil) has a particular relevance for us alcoholics:

Mark 2:13-17;

Jesus went out along the sea.
All the crowd came to him and he taught them.
As he passed by, he saw Levi, son of Alphaeus,
sitting at the customs post.
Jesus said to him, “Follow me.”
And he got up and followed Jesus.
While he was at table in his house,
many tax collectors and sinners sat with Jesus and his disciples;
for there were many who followed him.
Some scribes who were Pharisees saw that Jesus was eating with sinners
and tax collectors and said to his disciples,
“Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
Jesus heard this and said to them,
“Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do.
I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.”

This is why Christianity, and in particular Catholic Christianity with her sacraments, is an excellent spiritual path for people recovering from an addiction. Jesus doesn’t care who you are, what your background is or anything else that the “world’ deems important. People that the world shuns and deems inferior, He runs to and picks up and heals. Jesus came for all humanity, but in particular for the broken and the wounded. In the Gospel accounts He was frequently associating with the outcasts of society. He was always taken to task for it, as is the case in today’s reading.

We alcoholics and addicts are broken and wounded, regardless of the length of sobriety. We will always remain a little bent and cracked, but Jesus and His Church are always there to pick us up.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Baptism of the Lord

A day late, but better done than never. Sober Catholic readers should be getting the idea that I have a casual attitude towards time. A character defect that I’m working on eliminating, at least with regards to blogging and writing. 

Yesterday was the end of the Christmas season. It was the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord in the River Jordan.
One of my rosary meditations was on it. Read  it here . Thank you.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena Through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 3

On this, the third day of our novena to St. Maximilian Kolbe, please again, go here and say the prayer, thinking of someone you love and know who’s is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. The consider the following:

The person that you are praying for is probably seeking a short term solution to a long term problem. In a way, this can be a form of suicide, which is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Either way, the person is taking a huge gamble with their immortal soul.

The Church regards addiction to be a mitigating factor if the addictive behavior would otherwise normally be a mortal sin. According to the Catechism, paragraph 1857:

For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”

Addiction would eliminate the “deliberate consent” condition, and possibly the full knowledge of its mortal nature.

The gamble I was referring to is the possibility of the fine line being crossed if relapse occurs. While the argument can be made that the addictive personality of the individual may always be in place and therefore would always mitigate the mortal nature of the sin, I dislike the potentially cavalier reliance on “mitigation” as it may be a dangerous assumption. If one has relapsed, the possibility remains that the person may satisfy all three conditions of a mortal sin. And that is the reason for this post, while the mitigating factor may always be in place, the danger to their immortal soul is too great to completely discount the possibility of a mortal sin being committed.

The act of alcohol or drug abuse is always a grave matter. But the other two conditions which may not be met due to the addiction, may be met because of the new knowledge the person has about him/herself and the substance abuse. They may have full knowledge of the act’s mortal nature due to their recovery program and Catholic spirituality, and their consent may be a willing consent. It may be a deliberate act, not linked to the corruption of the will by addiction.

The argument can go back and forth, all hinging around whether the person’s consent was freely given and whether they fully understood the act’s mortal nature. A problem lies with whether or not the individual recognizes the distinction between mortal and venial sins, or even recognizes the existence of the two kinds. Sin is either deadly (mortal) or not deadly (venial).

From the First Letter of St. John,

1 John 5:16-17

If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray.
All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly.

One could argue that why bother being Catholic and developing a strong Catholic spirituality? Ignorance will prevent one from committing mortal sins. Well, the answer is easy. With Catholic Christianity you have the only sure road map, drawn by God Himself, to achieve eternal salvation. And with the sacraments, you have the best way to cleanse yourself of all sin, mortal or venial.

Addictive behavior is still sinful, albeit venial. While there is no mathematical formula that states that a certain number of venial sins equates with one mortal sin, the accumulation of venial sins will still distance yourself from God and His graces.

There is an additional component to the gamble one plays. The short term relief and pleasure achieved by the addictive act, if mortal, trades away the possibility of eternal life with God and loved ones in Heaven. A soul with one or more mortal sins condemns itself to Hell. The few seconds, hours or days of pleasure and relief costs the soul an eternity in paradise.

A stupid gamble.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)