Category Archives: Resentment

He is a glutton and a drunkard

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The Gospel Reading for the Mass for Friday of the Second Week of Advent is the one in which Jesus is called a “glutton and a drunkard.”

Matthew 11:16-19: “‘To what shall I compare this generation? It is like children who sit in marketplaces and call to one another, ‘We played the flute for you, but you did not dance, we sang a dirge but you did not mourn.’ For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they said, ‘He is possessed by a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking and they said, ‘Look, he is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is vindicated by her works.'”

(Via USCCB.)

I had written about this before where I approached it from the theme of people being resentful of you for the new life of sobriety that you lead. The notes section in the NAB explain that the passage may mean that (I’m paraphrasing) teachings are rejected, that expectations of others are not being fulfilled. “We do this and that, and you didn’t respond as we thought.” You are doing something that others don’t understand or desire, and therefore you are rejected, just as John the Baptist and Jesus were.

However, just like “by their fruits you shall know them,” if you hold fast, you will be vindicated (proven right).

So, please read the earlier post, right here:

A Glutton and a Drunkard.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to the Immaculate Conception for Alcoholics: Day 4

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Pray daily: O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, didst prepare a worthy dwelling place for thy Son, we beseech thee that, as by the foreseen death of this, thy Son, thou didst preserve her from all stain, so too thou wouldst permit us, purified through her intercession, to come unto thee. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, thy Son, who livest and reignest with thee in the unity of the Holy Ghost, God, world without end. Amen.

Fourth Day Intentions: That we find it within ourselves to open up to those we have hurt in our addictions, and those that have hurt us, and love them. May the path to a possible reconciliation be opened by forgiveness.

Conclude daily: O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to you, those who do not have recourse to you, enemies of the Holy Catholic Church, and all those recommended to you. Amen.

We ask all this in the Name of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Saviour. Amen

Background for this post is right here.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Mercy triumphs over judgment

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St. James in his New Testament Letter offers us a compelling reason to practice mercy:

This is the Reading from the Morning Prayer in today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

James 2:13: “For the judgment is merciless to one who has not shown mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.”

“Mercy” can be directly related to practicing forgiveness, and this is connected to the Lord’s Prayer verse in which Jesus essentially connects your desire for God’s forgiveness with you forgiving others:

Matthew 6:14-15: “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.”

You show mercy to others and it will be shown to you.

Forgiveness does not mean, at least to me, reconciliation with the person or people who have offended or hurt you. It may mean cutting the emotional ties and resentment over the deed they have done. You may pray for them and offer up sufferings for their salvation, but reconciliation may be too much to handle and cope with.

All Scripture passages courtesy of: USCCB.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

"But, I'm innocent!"

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St. Dorotheus understands that a common objection to his teachings on these subjects is that what if you do an examination of conscience and you find yourself innocent of anything and yet someone still had hurt you? What then?

The Saint would say as he did in the latter 4 paragraphs in the link at the end of this post:

“This kind of thinking is surely ridiculous and has no rational basis.”

The mere fact that someone has “issues” with you indicates that something is awry in your relationship with him. The issues may be either real (grounded in something that you did that the other took offense) or perceived (grounded in something that you thought was harmless but they took offense at. Perhaps an misunderstanding on their part. Nevertheless, you did something.)

Humility in either case begs forgiveness and amendment of purpose. You may see your actions in a different light if they can be misunderstood. Of course, no one can completely control how others perceive their actions, yet humility allows for reasons and methods to heal the wounds caused by misunderstandings.

From the teachings of St. Dorotheus, abbot

(Via Idaho Lay Dominicans.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The source of all annoyance and distress

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Continuing on in this series, St. Dorotheus goes on to say that the only path to peace (an internal peace) is for us to be what we would call nowadays reflective. We must be always aware of our defects and seek to remedy them. And we must look internally, be aware of what is wrong inside us, in order for true internal peace to reign within.

St. Dorotheus writes: “We have seen that this is true in many cases, and, in our laziness and desire for rest, we hope or believe that we have entered upon a straight path when we are impatient with everyone, and yet cannot bear to blame ourselves.”

If you find fault with everybody but yourself and constantly look to external sources for the causes of your distress, you will never find peace within. I suppose people who are “comfortable in their own skin” have dealt with their interior distress and character defects, or are humble in their admission of them and are dealing with them.

From the teachings of St. Dorotheus, abbot

(Via Idaho Lay Dominicans.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Our Lady of Lourdes Novena for Alcoholics: Day 7

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Yesterday during the sixth day of this novena, I wrote about forgiveness. Today the subject is a related issue, that of resentment.

Resentment it is said, means “to feel again”. We alcoholics all understand this. When we resent something we are reliving the event all over, we nurture the emotion and maintain the grudge against the person who harmed us.

This is obviously harmful. It continues to keep open the wound inflicted upon our psyche and it hinders our spiritual progression. Our hearts are hardened and therefore we cannot hear the still, small voice of God speaking to us.

There is an AA slogan: “Let go and let God”. Basically it means to let go of whatever it is that has gotten you trapped and let God take care of it.

On the surface this would seem to be like shirking responsibility and “passing the buck”, except that it is God I am speaking about here and we are His children. Like any good parent, He seeks to heal us and protect us if we but ask Him. He will heal us of the pain in His time, meaning we end up learning something from the experience and grow closer to Him. If the pain was removed right away, my experience tells me that it will return and nothing was gained from the whole event.

As always, the Blessed Mother is there to help:

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

NOTE: this is a repost from last year

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Have mercy on me

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The first verse of Psalm 51, after the introduction, is a plaintive cry for mercy:

Psalm 51:3: “Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness; in your abundant compassion blot out my offense.”

(Via USCCB.)

The repentant sinner in uttering this cry asking for nothing less than a clean slate. The penitent knows that mercy springs forth from God’s inherent and eternal goodness. Furthermore, God’s compassion for the sinner puts and end to the offense, it is as if it never happened.

God is incapable, as a human understands it, of harboring resentment. The seemingly never-ending rehashing of a grudge or psychological wound is an imperfection of our human nature.

Verse 3 of this Psalm is therefore a confident understanding by the penitent that God will blot out the offense, and start over with the sinner.

As alcoholics and addicts, we have plenty to “blot out”. But also much to learn about compassion. Are we as ready to blot out the offenses of others against us? And how long are we capable of taking to do this? And does reconciliation always result?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Living in the "now" and letting go

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There is another excellent article from Spirit Daily

,this time on “getting past” the mistakes of your life. Read and ponder!

(Via Spirit Daily.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

When He was insulted, He returned no insult; when He suffered, He did not threaten

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The following passage from the First Letter of St. Peter speaks of a difficult, challenging but ultimately liberating attitude towards authority. Particarly if you’re having a bad time with it (authority) and have suffered justly or unjustly at the hands of it.

Alcoholics have a particular need for this passage as there is a residual sense of selfishness and pride in early recovery while the whole “humility thing” is being worked out. Non-alcoholics can use this as it will help them endure coping with authority, the legitimate and just, and the unfair and unjust.

Note: take out the word “slaves” and substitute “employees” or “children”. And for the word “masters” substitute “bosses”, “managers” or “parents”.

1 Peter 2:18-25: “Slaves, be subject to your masters with all reverence, not only to those who are good and equitable but also to those who are perverse.

For whenever anyone bears the pain of unjust suffering because of consciousness of God, that is a grace.

But what credit is there if you are patient when beaten for doing wrong? But if you are patient when you suffer for doing what is good, this is a grace before God.

For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps.

‘He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.’

When he was insulted, he returned no insult; when he suffered, he did not threaten; instead, he handed himself over to the one who judges justly.

He himself bore our sins in his body upon the cross, so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

For you had gone astray like sheep, but you have now returned to the shepherd and guardian of your souls. “

(Via USCCB.)

As I have stated countless times before, as Christians we are to emulate Christ. We must take up our crosses and follow Him, as He commanded.

Matthew 16:24: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.”

(Via USCCB.)

It is self-righteous pride when we cry out against real or perceived unjust treatment of ourselves. “Why me?” Perhaps it is connected to our instinct for self-preservation, but our faith in God should be strong enough to consider that He has a plan in store for us and if things are not going our way, then maybe He has something different in mind for our lives. If we are suffering through this, then somehow that suffering is a part of His plan of salvation for us. And as Jesus accepted His cross for humanity’s salvation, so then must we take up our individual crosses for our discipleship.

Being a Christian isn’t easy. And it was never intended to be.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

On forgiveness

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The Gospel Reading for Tuesday of the Third Week of Lent tells us the limitless extent of forgiveness:

Matthew 18:21-35: “Peter approached Jesus and asked him,
‘Lord, if my brother sins against me,
how often must I forgive him?
As many as seven times?’
Jesus answered, ‘I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.
That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king
who decided to settle accounts with his servants.
When he began the accounting,
a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount.
Since he had no way of paying it back,
his master ordered him to be sold,
along with his wife, his children, and all his property,
in payment of the debt.
At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said,
‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’
Moved with compassion the master of that servant
let him go and forgave him the loan.
When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants
who owed him a much smaller amount.
He seized him and started to choke him, demanding,
‘Pay back what you owe.’
Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him,
‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’
But he refused.
Instead, he had him put in prison
until he paid back the debt.
Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened,
they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master
and reported the whole affair.
His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant!
I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.
Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant,
as I had pity on you?’
Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers
until he should pay back the whole debt.
So will my heavenly Father do to you,
unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.’ “

(Via USCCB.)

Along with the Lord’s Prayer, with its admonition to forgive others as we would ask God to forgive us, this shows the deep importance of forgiving others. We would hardly be justified in asking God to forgive us our sins if we are hard placed to forgive those who harmed us.

Just something to think about if you’re harboring a resentment or grudge. It isn’t easy to forgive, some period of prayer and meditation may be needed to work towards the ability to forgive. But forgive, we must.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)