Category Archives: Resentment

Releasing yourself from the things that harm

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There is an interesting article on clinging to people, places and things that afflict you, and why and how to release and distance yourself from them.

(Via Spirit Daily.)

Give it a read!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Spiritual Axiom: a Disturbance of the Spirit

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A few years ago while in very early recovery I had the time to spend getting deep into the 12 & 12 and culling from it what I could. (The “12 and 12” is a book of essays on the Twelve Steps of AA: Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 1981)

While going through the chapter on Step Ten, which is:

“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it”,

there is this line on page 90, which is often quoted in AA meetings:

“It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.”

Lynn, over at Addictions / Trust God – Clean House – Help Others wrote an interesting post on this “Spiritual Axiom”. She asked me to write about it but I had to take a break after my Our Lady of Lourdes Novena for Alcoholics (novenas tire me out) so I’m taking up her request now. Here goes!

To me, what is “wrong” is the disturbance. It is wrong inasmuch as the hurt gets us “off the beam”. We’re hurt, in pain, suffering and emotional. This is the “wrong”. It is not wrong as in “error”, but wrong as in “imperfect” and lacking serenity.

There are two more quotes from page 90 which I think support my point:

If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.

And…

Few people have been victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional “dry benders” often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances – jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride, often did the same thing.

Therefore, the disturbance, whether it be jealousy or resentment and so on, is what is wrong. This disturbance has the potential to lead us back to drinking as we seek an immediate solution.

I took a day to ponder this, thinking perhaps like many alcoholics in recovery after having read that axiom, that we are what is wrong. We are the problem. Not so. Although we are imperfect beings, this disturbance introduces into our interior life an additional imperfection, one that may be very temporary although very dangerous. This axiom tells us that the external disturbance is the focus of our spiritual progression in recovery and that our reaction to it lies in recognizing it and dealing with it in a sober manner. This removes the disturbance and restores us to health.

Reciting the Serenity Prayer may help in coping with the problem. The entire prayer is posted here, not just the first part that most people know:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 7

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Yesterday during the sixth day of this novena, I wrote about forgiveness. Today the subject is a related issue, that of resentment.

Resentment it is said, means “to feel again”. We alcoholics all understand this. When we resent something we are reliving the event all over, we nurture the emotion and maintain the grudge against the person who harmed us.

This is obviously harmful. It continues to keep open the wound inflicted upon our psyche and it hinders our spiritual progression. Our hearts are hardened and therefore we cannot hear the still, small voice of God speaking to us.

There is an AA slogan: “Let go and let God”. Basically it means to let go of whatever it is that has gotten you trapped and let God take care of it.

On the surface this would seem to be like shirking responsibility and “passing the buck”, except that it is God I am speaking about here and we are His children. Like any good parent, He seeks to heal us and protect us if we but ask Him. He will heal us of the pain in His time, meaning we end up learning something from the experience and grow closer to Him. If the pain was removed right away, my experience tells me that it will return and nothing was gained from the whole event.

As always, the Blessed Mother is there to help:

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

One More Day

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This was originally written on February 29, 2008, which was a Leap Day. It was posted to a soon-to-be-discontinued blog of mine and is being transferred to this one like most of the other posts on it. I had kept it as a draft in my blog editor, postdated to February 29, 2012, but have since gotten tired of seeing it at the top of the drafts list and don’t much feel like seeing it there for the next three years. And so I am posting it now, which is rather appropriate considering the theme of healing in the Our Lady of Lourdes Novena I am writing now.

(“Today is February 29th. A Leap Day. An extra day added to the calendar to make up for a lack some sort of astronomical timekeeping synchronization.

It’s nice to have an extra day. An extra day to make up for a lack of… not having done something you should have or would have done when you had the time?

Think about those people in your life that once they’re gone, all opportunities to love or make amends for wrongs would disappear. Death takes away opportunities.

Don’t wait for death to take away someone that you might wish for “one more day” to do something you could have when they were alive.”)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 6

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We all bear grudges at one time or another. Someone has wronged us, either by a real infraction or a perceived one, and we are hurt. There is a wound on our psyche and we suffer. The hurt remains and we are tied to the person and the event by this feeling. This is maintained by being unforgiving.

Forgiveness cuts these ties. By forgiving the person of the wrong they have perpetrated against us we release ourselves from the anchor that hinders our spiritual development.

Some people, myself included, feel that withholding forgiveness denies victory to the perpetrator. We feel that we have the upper hand, the moral high ground in the conflict. Truth is, quite often the perpetrator doesn’t remember the action, doesn’t care about the event and may even be not guilty of any wrongdoing. The only person suffering is the victim. Not always, but even when the grudge is justified, holding onto it only perpetuates the original act. It is as if there just wasn’t one harmful act, but a succession.

We can heal ourselves by forgiving the person, either outright through contact with that person, or just in our own minds. We release ourselves from the event and the harm it had caused. The effects may not be immediate, but healing will occur over time.

There are additional posts on forgiveness on this blog, just go to the “Labels”section in the sidebar and click on “Forgiveness”.

The Blessed Mother is always ready to assist us:

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Enduring suffering

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As I had mentioned in a previous post about This too shall pass , I had gone through some trials at work for much of last summer (2008). It had gotten somewhat better when I realized that others were basically treated as I am, I perhaps worse as I was new and had struggled a bit more. Anyway, what I have gleaned from all this is the acceptance of enduring.

I endured all that. I have four 10 hour shifts every week. I had gotten stronger as a result of patiently enduring all the nonsense I was going through. Quietly putting up with all the stuff has enabled me to appreciate other people’s suffering and made me more tolerant of other’s flaws and faults. Not that I was indifferent to them, but perhaps God needed to sharpen that aspect of my personality.

As a Catholic Christian who longs for going to my true home, Heaven, this has also helped me cope with my Earthly exile.

Trials and suffering strengthen us. As we succeed in coping with these events, we are better equipped to deal with greater issues as we progress along in life (“trudge the Road of Happy Destiny”). All life is suffering interspersed with moments of happiness, joy, wonder and beauty. Those are a foretaste of Heaven.

Enduring can be likened to forging steel. It is tempered to the precise strength needed to do its purpose, whether to form part of a building or to aid in battle as a sword.

This may seem as if I am boasting, but it is not. I went through no small amount of pain, and survived. Just passing along personal experience.

If I accept suffering and patiently endure it, I can be a strong edifice or battle weapon for doing God’s will.

Pray we all succeed in this.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Healing Rosary

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There is another interesting article from Spirit Daily entitled: “MYSTERIES OF YOUR LIFE CAN BE REVEALED AND HEALED THROUGH MYSTERIES OF ROSARY”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

I encourage you to read it and ponder.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Transcending hurts

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There is a nice article in today’s Spirit Daily entitled: “RISE FROM WHAT MIRES YOU AND TRANSCEND HURTS OF THIS WORLD THROUGH HIS POWER”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

A good read on spiritual warfare and healing.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Moving beyond your past

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There is an excellent article posted this morning (October 17, 2008) in Spirit Daily on resolving issues from the past such as hurts and resentments.

As alcoholics and addicts we know all too well how dangerous it is to spend too much time nursing grudges and harboring resentments. This article may kick start or remind people of the necessity of moving past the hurts and bad feelings of the past.

There’s more at stake than sobriety.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

An effective prayer against the usual mental maladies that plague us

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There is a prayer at the end of the Divine Mercy Chaplet that I say quite often when I am experiencing fear, anxiety, stress, resentment (and so on):

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your Mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is love and Mercy itself.

It is from paragraph 950 in the diary of St. Faustina, entitled Divine Mercy in My Soul (advance notice, music will play after site loads, so quiet your speakers if you’re in a public place).

It has been a very effective prayer when I experience doubts and any of the above named mental issues.

NOTE: The online Diary does not number the paragraphs, but you can click on the link for Notebook 2, page 2, and scroll towards the end. Or go to any Catholic bookstore or the online Divine Mercy shrine gift shop and purchase a copy (I get no commission, despite the plug. I just enjoy using my new blog editor, Mars Edit. It makes writing for blogs easy, especially for inserting links 🙂 Just wait until I figure out all the media uploading tools!)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)