A sign of recovery is being able to live amongst people without the need for the crutch of an addiction. As someone once said in an AA meeting I attended (a paraphrase): “Recovery does for me what alcohol used to: it enables me to live among people.”
One obvious sign of success in recovery is marriage. Unless you’re in early recovery and your decision-making process is still warped by the newness of sober-living and the inability to completely think things through, a major decision like marriage waits until things settle out and are clear. Some AA people say it takes at least 3 to 5 years for you to sufficiently recover enough so that you can remember where to find your brain. I got married just shy of 6 years.
When you marry at that point, it is usually because you have your “things together” and someone else has decided that you are “safe enough” to hitch along for the ride for the rest of their life. You are worthy to have someone share their life with you.
That happened to me one year ago today, at the exact time of this posting (my local time, 4:28 PM) on 29 March 2008. A decision I am very happy with. She is “The One” and is described in the Scripture passage below:
Proverbs 31:10-31: “When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.
Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.
She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.
She obtains wool and flax and makes cloth with skillful hands.
Like merchant ships, she secures her provisions from afar.
She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household.
She picks out a field to purchase; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is girt about with strength, and sturdy are her arms.
She enjoys the success of her dealings; at night her lamp is undimmed.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle.
She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy.
She fears not the snow for her household; all her charges are doubly clothed.
She makes her own coverlets; fine linen and purple are her clothing.
Her husband is prominent at the city gates as he sits with the elders of the land.
She makes garments and sells them, and stocks the merchants with belts.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come.
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and on her tongue is kindly counsel.
She watches the conduct of her household, and eats not her food in idleness.
Her children rise up and praise her; her husband, too, extols her:
Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all.’
Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her a reward of her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates.”
(Via USCCB.)
I have a new book!
"The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on
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My two other books are still available!
"The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)
