Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 6

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We all bear grudges at one time or another. Someone has wronged us, either by a real infraction or a perceived one, and we are hurt. There is a wound on our psyche and we suffer. The hurt remains and we are tied to the person and the event by this feeling. This is maintained by being unforgiving.

Forgiveness cuts these ties. By forgiving the person of the wrong they have perpetrated against us we release ourselves from the anchor that hinders our spiritual development.

Some people, myself included, feel that withholding forgiveness denies victory to the perpetrator. We feel that we have the upper hand, the moral high ground in the conflict. Truth is, quite often the perpetrator doesn’t remember the action, doesn’t care about the event and may even be not guilty of any wrongdoing. The only person suffering is the victim. Not always, but even when the grudge is justified, holding onto it only perpetuates the original act. It is as if there just wasn’t one harmful act, but a succession.

We can heal ourselves by forgiving the person, either outright through contact with that person, or just in our own minds. We release ourselves from the event and the harm it had caused. The effects may not be immediate, but healing will occur over time.

There are additional posts on forgiveness on this blog, just go to the “Labels”section in the sidebar and click on “Forgiveness”.

The Blessed Mother is always ready to assist us:

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 5

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Patience is a condition that we alcoholics have serious issues with. And these issues can continue well into our sobriety. It seems as if we can never ever fully get rid of the “I want what I want and I want it now” attitude, no matter how much we have worked on developing our sense of patience.

“Lord, give me patience, and make it QUICK!”

It can be argued that impatience is a secret desire to be like God. Only God has control over time, and impatience is a desire for control over time. Time doesn’t move fast enough, events do not take place when we want them to. Things take too long to finish. The present time is never enough, we want the future, too.

This is of course futile and only leads to anger and frustration, two emotions that we alcoholics cannot afford. We lose our self-control and get knocked “off the beam” and our sobriety is at risk.

Developing a patient attitude takes time. A person in recovery who has a good sense of self and a good knowledge of their interior life can learn over time all those emotional and situational triggers which set off an impatience binge and then learn to counter them. Merely recognizing when they occur is often enough to quiet them down. Not always, but given the practice, the intellectual and spiritual sides of the person will be able to tame the impatient streak.

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 4

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Grief. Mourning the death of a loved one and dealing with how to fill the hole created in your life by the loss may be the biggest threat to an alcoholic’s sobriety.

The grand theological concepts of Faith such as an afterlife and a possible reunion with the beloved in Heaven only if you both have died in the grace of God might cause this to be an insurmountable situation for some. If just swept under the rug and avoided it becomes a landmine lying in the road of recovery we are trudging along.

Death. The landscape of your life has changed. The person is gone and is never coming back. One constant piece of advice offered in recovery is that you need to change how you react to things. This is fine for most events. Death is the one unavoidable and unalterable event. It happens to everyone. It will happen to you. How you react to it fundamentally defines your relationship with God and how strong your faith is.

If your religious and spiritual faith is strong and death is an accepted part of living, then you will cope with the loss in a manner that may ensure your sobriety’s survival. If you hadn’t encountered death yet, but have a healthy, viable and ongoing means of conversion (i.e. you’re into “spiritual progression”) you will have it rough as you adjust to this new thing, but you’ll survive. You may not want to, but you will. It is almost as if you are back at that “jumping off place”, that area in your drinking career when you’re at bottom and you know that drinking leads to death, and not-drinking may only bring a wish for death.

You learn that grief is not something to be avoided, but used. Grief is something you plow through, not work around.

As in other times, but perhaps more in this situation than in any other, the Blessed Mother is ready and able to help.

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Suffering as God's children

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In the Daily Mass Reading for Wednesday of the Fourth Week of Ordinary Time we see another example as to why we must not reject suffering if we are to consider ourselves followers of Christ and children of God.

Hebrews 12:4-7; 11-15: “Brothers and sisters:
In your struggle against sin
you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood.
You have also forgotten the exhortation addressed to you as children:
My son, do not disdain the discipline of the Lord
or lose heart when reproved by him;
for whom the Lord loves, he disciplines;
he scourges every son he acknowledges.
Endure your trials as ‘discipline’;
God treats you as his sons.
For what ‘son’ is there whom his father does not discipline?
At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain,
yet later it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness
to those who are trained by it.

So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees.
Make straight paths for your feet,
that what is lame may not be dislocated but healed.

Strive for peace with everyone,
and for that holiness without which no one will see the Lord.
See to it that no one be deprived of the grace of God,
that no bitter root spring up and cause trouble,
through which many may become defiled.”

(Via USCCB.)

It is clear that we must endure the sufferings and trials that God permits us as a means of discipline, as a way of straightening out our path in holiness and this grow closer to God.

It is not an easy road that we trudge. Our destiny is the happy one, not the way leading to it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 3

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Depression is another affliction for us alcoholics, especially in early recovery. With our moods swinging wildly from day to to day, and sometimes more quickly, we fall into a state of wondering “will it ever get better?” It becomes easy to lose hope and to wonder whether this sobriety thing is worth it if an emotional roller coaster is the cost.

A dark cloud seems to follow us and we drift from meeting to meeting to seek a means to snap out of it. We see others with more long-term sobriety than ours and we “want what they have”, but we want it now. And gloom sets in when we see the long road ahead that we need to trudge to get where they are.

It passes as easily at it arrived, this depression. We eventually learn that it is a normal part of the landscape of our minds, and eventually we endure. It does not make it any easier, nevertheless we develop the strength to see it through and our fortitude pervades our life.

The Blessed Virgin Mary, ever our watchful and protective mother, is ready to assist:

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 2

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Anxiety is another cross that we alcoholics have to bear. Fears and worries about the future or about present circumstances and the apparent powerlessness over them leads to anxiety.

Anxiety happens when faith is weak or absent. We lack the confidence that God is there to help us or provide for us, and we feel we are cast adrift. Our inability to deal with things in the past had pushed us to drinking as a means to cope, and now without that crutch anxiety fills the gap.

Anxiety fills the empty spaces where love and faith should abide.

At Mass is the following dialogue after the Lord’s Prayer:

Priest: Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Via Catholic Resources.)

One of the little-known effects of the Mass is that it is a weapon against anxiety. If we are the faithful servants of our Lord then we should be confident that the One who died for us will not let us stumble and fall beyond His reach.

The Mass is the drama of God’s love for us. Immerse yourself in it. (Helpful if you are a member of a parish with a reverent priest who says the Mass properly.)

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 1

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We are all individuals. Sometimes our sense of individuality gets unhealthy and and is replaced by a feeling of aloneness. We feel isolated and no longer a part of whatever community or communities we belong to. This separation is distinctly harmful and will lead to all sorts of thoughts about our well-being that are untrue. Our problems are worse that anybody else’s. No one likes me. No one notices me, I am invisible.

No one suffers with us.

We somehow must re-establish our connections with those around us and reassert our balanced perspective as to how we are in relation to others.

Prayer is one way. Prayer, that seeking out conscious contact with God and uplifting our hearts and minds to Him reconnects us to the Divine, and in turn helps us to be aware that we are not truly alone. God is there and He softens our hearts and assists us in seeing those about us.

In this novena, we turn to Our Blessed Mother and request her intercessory powers to aid us in our healing. We can turn to her and ask that our feelings of aloneness be banished when they arise.

Pray:

Oh ever immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics

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On February 11 is the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. It honors the 1858 apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary to Bernadette Soubirous in Lourdes, France. Along with the apparition at Fatima, Portugal, it is one of the best known of Marian apparitions. Even non-Catholics have heard of it due to miraculous healings of people immersed in the waters of its springs. This article from New Advent contains the basic information Lourdes.

At daily Mass this morning I got the idea of starting a novena (a prayer of petition or supplication said daily for nine days.) in honor of this feast day. I might have thought of it last year, but never got to it for whatever reason.

It will start tomorrow, February 3rd, and end on the feast, February 11th. Some novenas start 10 days before the feast and end the day just before, others start 9 days before and end on the day of the feast. Honestly, I never got a straight answer from anyone as to why this is so, so I just start them so that they end on the day of he feast. Other Catholic bloggers that you read might have started their own novenas to Our Lady of Lourdes today. That’s OK, I just wanted to explain why we’re a day off.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Nightly prayer for the next day

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“Lord, grant that I be treated tomorrow the way I treated others today.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death as a passage

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What do you think of death? Is it something to be feared, avoided and denied? Like many people do you ignore it and hope it never bothers you?

I have had a relationship with death stretching back to my childhood. Not that I lost anyone close to me during that time, but I feared that I would. My Mom had celebrated her 47th birthday 11 days before I was born. Dad turned 50 a few months before. I thought nothing of that until I went to school at age 5. At school events (choir, plays, etc.) I noticed right away that the other kid’s parents seemed different. I discovered that they were younger. They were farther away from death than my parents were. Death… as in going away permanently. I didn’t much like that. I was convinced that at any time Mom and Dad were going to die. I developed the habit of checking their chests while they were napping to see if they were breathing. This continued long after I reached adulthood during vacations home and after I returned home to care for Mom.

My adult experience of death has been defined by my Mom’s dying in November 2005, and the subsequent griefwork (grief counseling, namely online discussion forums, in person counseling and grief support groups.) After the initial period which lasted well over a year, I developed the notion that death isn’t something to be feared. Sure, I would rather have my Mom and other loved ones still around, but as I moved past the pain and agony of the loss, I was able to see and understand the “Communion of Saints” doctrine of the Church as something of a comfort. This great “cloud of witnesses” that St. Paul writes about in Hebrews 12 may include our beloved dead, gone on before us. They form a part of the Church along with us. Those in Heaven being members of the Church Triumphant, while we still on Earth as a part of the Church Militant. Together with the Church Suffering (those souls in Purgatory) we all comprise the Mystical Body of Christ. We are all members of a community of believers, and as a community can still have a relational bond.

Through prayer and devotion to the deceased, we can still maintain our relationships with them. They are not completely gone. We obviously cannot interact with them as we once did, but it is uncharitable and cynical to regard them as forgotten or “gone”. They are just beyond from where we are.

Therefore, death ceases to be a means by which our beloved are taken away and are gone. Death becomes a passage through which our beloved experience the joy of entering into the presence of God, the domain of eternity where He is.

Ultimately it is a passage that we need to think about and meditate upon. Unlike most times where we focus upon the destination rather than the road, this passage is significant unto itself. Everyone will experience it. Regardless of what you believe happens after death, it is universal. Happens to everyone. This means you. Whether the passage of death leads one to Heaven or Hell depends upon the choices we make while alive. Therefore death as a passage forces this consideration of our daily living. How do we live? How are you “trudging the Road of Happy Destiny?” Catholic teaching puts that AA slogan in a new light.

If your attention is focused upon Heaven, and you consciously yearn for that place which is our true home, the death is to be welcomed and not feared. Perhaps not desired, but certainly not looked upon with dread.

It is our way home.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)