Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 5

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OK, we begin the fifth day of our novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe. Like the first few days, kindly go here and read the prayer for a loved one and then consider the following:

Today would have been my sister’s 61st birthday. I know, yesterday would have been my Dad’s 95th. These days were once a family holiday.

Anyway, in thinking about my sister (a non-alcoholic, like I said yesterday, I am the only drunk -or ex-drunk- in the family) I started thinking about the ties that bind us to each other. Whether the person you are praying the novena for is your brother or sister, or just one in spirit, or maybe you are praying this novena for yourself, in essence we are all in this together. We are all celebrating our Catholic Faith (or trying to) and maintaining our sobriety through it. We needn’t go it alone. There is usually someone out there willing to help, sometimes you are the person that is the helper. It is a tough row to hoe if attempted alone. Seek out others. Connect and reach out. It doesn’t matter if you don’t need the help, someone may be needing you. Do not reject them.

Being alone is horrible. The sense of isolation that makes you feel as if you are by yourself in a crowd and you are unable to connect to others is damning. This is the kind that causes you to feel that you are the worst drinker and drunk in the world and that you’ve got it worse than anyone else, before you or since. If you’re sober now, you’ve felt this way. If you’re still struggling, you feel this way. In AA it’s called “terminal uniqueness”. Terminal in that if the isolation doesn’t end, a life may. Don’t forget others out there, still suffering. Try and discern the best way you can help, even if it’s only one. If you need the help, don’t hesitate to ask someone. Pray to God for the strength and courage to humble yourself and get assistance.

Survive. Choose life, your own or another’s.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 4

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Once again, we continue with this, the 4th Day of our Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe. As usual, go here and read the prayer while thinking about a loved one who is struggling with addiction, and then contemplate the following:

This would have been my father’s 95th birthday. He died in 1995. I didn’t really grieve over him as we didn’t get along much, plus whatever”grieving” I did was drowned or expressed in alcohol. He was not an alcoholic. The honor of being the “family drunk” goes to me.

My last conversation with him was an argument. It doesn’t matter what it was about. But about 2-3 weeks later I received the phone call from Mom that he had died. I was asked to call a brother of mine as they were having trouble reaching him.

My brother and I hadn’t been on speaking terms ever since I moved out on him 2 1/2 years before. He had been upset that I did unto him (moving) what he was planning on doing unto me. I left a message on his voice mail to “Call home, it’s about Dad.”

This led to a reconciliation of sorts between us that lasted for a decade. We don’t talk much now, but that can change. There was never any reconciliation between my father and I, but that really doesn’t matter anymore.

The reason that doesn’t matter anymore is I do feel that my father is in Heaven, and that he has been observing events in my life and the family’s life as a part of that “great cloud of witnesses” described in Hebrews;

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith. For the sake of the joy that lay before him he endured the cross, despising its shame, and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God.

He knows what’s going on and he understands why I’ve done things that I did. Plus, any flaws or imperfections of the self that he retained at death were purged from him in Purgatory (as nothing impure can enter Heaven) and there is no longer any reason on my part to hold any resentment against him for anything he did.

The thing is, one shouldn’t wait until after the finality of death to “reconcile” with a loved one. The person that you are praying for in the Novena is a loved one (or once was). That person could die in their addiction, and no chance of a happy life with you would be possible. As hard as it is, it is acknowledged that trust may be hard for you to grant that person. So don’t trust them for now. Wait until they’ve earned it. You do have the right to withhold trust until you feel safe enough to grant it.

But you can love that person. Never withhold that. Love conquers all things, or so I’ve read somewhere. It can heal. And it can heal both ways. To the addict it can be a lifeline, and for you it can heal the wounds inflicted upon you by the addict or alcoholic.

So, take heed the writer of Hebrews admonition to “…let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus…” Jesus can help you love. Gaze upon Him on the Cross. That’s love. You needn’t get crucified, but you can nail your anger and resentments to that Cross.

Go to the sidebar and under “Labels” and look up “Forgiveness”. Read those posts at your convenience.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena Through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 3

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On this, the third day of our novena to St. Maximilian Kolbe, please again, go here and say the prayer, thinking of someone you love and know who’s is addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. The consider the following:

The person that you are praying for is probably seeking a short term solution to a long term problem. In a way, this can be a form of suicide, which is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Either way, the person is taking a huge gamble with their immortal soul.

The Church regards addiction to be a mitigating factor if the addictive behavior would otherwise normally be a mortal sin. According to the Catechism, paragraph 1857:

For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”

Addiction would eliminate the “deliberate consent” condition, and possibly the full knowledge of its mortal nature.

The gamble I was referring to is the possibility of the fine line being crossed if relapse occurs. While the argument can be made that the addictive personality of the individual may always be in place and therefore would always mitigate the mortal nature of the sin, I dislike the potentially cavalier reliance on “mitigation” as it may be a dangerous assumption. If one has relapsed, the possibility remains that the person may satisfy all three conditions of a mortal sin. And that is the reason for this post, while the mitigating factor may always be in place, the danger to their immortal soul is too great to completely discount the possibility of a mortal sin being committed.

The act of alcohol or drug abuse is always a grave matter. But the other two conditions which may not be met due to the addiction, may be met because of the new knowledge the person has about him/herself and the substance abuse. They may have full knowledge of the act’s mortal nature due to their recovery program and Catholic spirituality, and their consent may be a willing consent. It may be a deliberate act, not linked to the corruption of the will by addiction.

The argument can go back and forth, all hinging around whether the person’s consent was freely given and whether they fully understood the act’s mortal nature. A problem lies with whether or not the individual recognizes the distinction between mortal and venial sins, or even recognizes the existence of the two kinds. Sin is either deadly (mortal) or not deadly (venial).

From the First Letter of St. John,

1 John 5:16-17

If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray.
All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly.

One could argue that why bother being Catholic and developing a strong Catholic spirituality? Ignorance will prevent one from committing mortal sins. Well, the answer is easy. With Catholic Christianity you have the only sure road map, drawn by God Himself, to achieve eternal salvation. And with the sacraments, you have the best way to cleanse yourself of all sin, mortal or venial.

Addictive behavior is still sinful, albeit venial. While there is no mathematical formula that states that a certain number of venial sins equates with one mortal sin, the accumulation of venial sins will still distance yourself from God and His graces.

There is an additional component to the gamble one plays. The short term relief and pleasure achieved by the addictive act, if mortal, trades away the possibility of eternal life with God and loved ones in Heaven. A soul with one or more mortal sins condemns itself to Hell. The few seconds, hours or days of pleasure and relief costs the soul an eternity in paradise.

A stupid gamble.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 2

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Yesterday we began a Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe. Please open a new tab or window in your browser and then go here . Read the prayer and after you’ve said it contemplate this:

The person who is trapped in addiction is now where you were. If you are not an addict, “There but for the grace of God” could you also have gone. If you are related, as in family ties, well, you share the same genes and studies have shown there is a genetic factor in addiction. Some dispute that, and I really don’t care why someone is an alcoholic or addict, I am just concerned that they are. I tend to agree with a genetic factor, inasmuch that addicts are different in some way, and perhaps a familial relationship may be something to consider if the addict is a relation.

So, while you are praying for the loved one, also consider your own chances, missed or yet to be. If there is no familial relationship, consider the addict’s family. They are also trapped, although in a different manner.

We are all connected, especially if we are baptized Christians. We are all members of the Body of Christ. If one member is sick, so are the others.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena through St. Maximilian Kolbe – Day 1

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St. Maximilian Kolbe was a Polish Franciscan priest who was executed at the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz in 1941. He offered himself up in place of another man, who survived the death camp and lived to see Fr. Kolbe’s canonization. More about him can be found at the Consecration and Marytown websites.

St. Kolbe also founded the “Militia of the Immaculata” a Catholic organization dedicated to evangelizing the world. It is dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary. All of its members are consecrated (sworn ‘by blood’ to belong to) the Virgin. I am a member. The Consecration site in the previous paragraph is its webpage in the USA. The international site is here .

St. Kolbe, due to the nature of his execution, is one of the patron saints of addicts. Although he was not an alcoholic or an addict, he died by lethal injection in a cell.

The following prayer is a novena for those suffering from an addiction, and is from the MI site above. It should be prayed for nine consecutive days on behalf of anyone suffering from addiction or alcoholism. It doesn’t matter when you pray it, just do it for nine days. Now is a good time as St. Kolbe’s Feast day is August 14th, and your prayers are united with all the other people praying it. (Once an hour for nine consecutive hours in emergency situations is good.)

St. Maximilian Kolbe, your life of love and labor for souls was sacrificed amid the horrors of a concentration camp and hastened to its end by an injection of a deadly drug.

Look with compassion upon (name of person) who is now entrapped in addiction to drugs or alcohol and whom we now recommend to your powerful intercession. Having offered your own life to preserve that of a family man, we turn to you with trust, confident that you will understand and help.

Obtain for us the grace never to withhold our love and understanding, nor to fail in persevering prayer that the enslaving bonds of addiction may be broken and that full health may be restored to him/her whom we love.

We will never cease to be grateful to God who has helped us and heard your prayer for us. Amen.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

"I look at Him, and He looks at Me"

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One of the things that I have seriously overlooked on Sober Catholic is talking about the lives of the Saints. I think I mentioned that in my introductory post, or in some other “About this Blog” post that I would do that. As this blog concerns itself with using the Catholic Faith and spirituality in maintaining one’s sobriety, talking about the saints is a crucial aspect in this regard. After all, saints Made It. They’re in Heaven, and they were once Down Here, like us. So, they did something right, against whatever odds and personal failings they struggled with.

So, I will attempt to be more attentive to the saints as the appear on the Church calendar. I may even discuss saints not on the calendar, along with probable future saints.

Anyway, today, August 4th, is the feast of St. John Mary Vianney. He is as good a saint as any to start with. He was known as the “Cure of Ars” and you can read more about him here. Ars is the small town in France where he was assigned as priest. “Cure” (pronounced kyoo-ray) means “Pastor”. So, he was the pastor of a church in a small town in France.

One day, or so the story goes, St. Vianney saw a little French farmer visit his chapel daily, about noon. The Cure was curious as to what the farmer was doing in there, as he was alone. Not worried, I guess, just concerned. Anyway, one day he decided to ask him. And so he did. The little farmer said that he comes in to visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament (The Eucharist reposed in the Tabernacle).

The little farmer’s style of prayer was simple. He told the future saint, “I just look at Him, and He looks back at me.”

A simple, yet profound declaration. Take a look at this passage from St. Paul’s 2nd Letter to the Corinthians:

2 Corinthians 3:18;

All of us, gazing with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, as from the Lord who is the Spirit.

This is what the little French guy was doing, gazing upon the Lord and being transformed. We are no longer the same person when we partake of the Eucharist, whether it is receiving it at Mass, or gazing upon it in an Adoration chapel. This is what Jesus, in His Real Presence in the Holy Eucharist, does for us. And if this is focused on our efforts to remain sober and clean, how successful we will become! Ask Jesus, in faith, next time you receive Him in Communion, or pray before the Tabernacle to help you strengthen your sobriety. No matter how long you’ve been sober. Ask Him to help you. Ask Him for what you need to know to accomplish this.

Read from the Gospel of Matthew 7:7-8;

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

In Weakness I am Strong

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In the First Step of AA and other programs the person is expected to admit to their powerlessness over alcohol.

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.”*

In a recent reading from St. Paul’s 2nd Letter to the Corinthians, we read:

2 Corinthians 12:7-10:
“Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.
Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me,
but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”
“I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.
Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I have no idea what the “thorn in the flesh” was, I’ve read somewhere, not certain exactly, that the speculation is that Paul had a follower who turned apostate and was harassing him, or some other rival was vexing him. I was always hoping he had what we call an addiction or “inordinate attachment” to something he was trying to rid himself of. (Sorry if that offends. ) It doesn’t matter, it is sufficient to understand that for whatever reason, St. Paul had been seriously troubled by a problem or a person and that the only way he could deal with the problem was not by force of human will, or even a human resolution, but to have faith and trust that God will support him through his travails.

In his weakness, Paul allows the power of Christ to dwell within him, to lift him up and sustain him in his trials. His will was in the way, his human strength would have taught him to not seek God’s help or sustenance. Granted, Paul could have dealt with the trouble in terms that make sense to the secular world, but at what cost to his growing closer to God? There is a price in not needing God or relying on Him, even if successful. That price is the peace of soul and serenity in knowing that you’re not alone. There is comfort in relying on God and on other people that He places in your path that are His instruments.

The Second Step flows outward from the First and is strongly implied in in Paul’s statements in the quote I emboldened.

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”*

The worldlings out there who scoff at religion and its observance suffer from higher anxiety, depression and stress than people of Faith. Prayer and meditation helps reduce anxiety.

“Know Jesus, know peace. No Jesus, no peace.”

*From Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, AA World Services, 2001. (The AA “Big Book”)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Church

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Why is the Catholic Church called “Catholic”? Catholic comes from the Greek word meaning universal. It contains the universality of the Gospel and Apostolic truths, and is applicable to all people in all times and for all things. Today’s Second Reading from the Office of Readings of the Liturgy of the Hours is explains it thusly:

From the Catechetical Lectures of St. Cyril of Jerusalem, Lecture 18, paragraph 23, link found here: http://www.newadvent.org/fathers/310118.htm

It is called Catholic then because it <!–140 –>extends over all the world, from one end of the earth to the other; and because it teaches universally and completely one and all the doctrines which ought to come to men’s knowledge, concerning things both visible and invisible, heavenly and earthly<!–31-2301–>; and because it brings into subjection to godliness the whole race of mankind, governors and governed, learned and unlearned; and because it universally treats and heals the whole class of sins, which are committed by soul or body, and possesses in itself every form of virtue which is named, both in deeds and words, and in every kind of spiritual gifts.

That is why it is catholic, and why all human recovery programs should be secondary, to this, you primary weapon.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Asking, Seeking, Knocking

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From today’s Gospel Reading (17th Sunday in Ordinary Time) is an important testimony to a loving God for those enduring trouble and pain:

Luke 11:9-10

“And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Unfortunately, many people read the Luke excerpt (along with the similar one in Matthew 7:7-8) and feel that they can script the results. You cannot. You may ask and seek and knock, but when done in faith, the answer will be in what you need, not want. We pray in our time, and God answers in His. We cannot be so arrogant that we feel we can snap our fingers and expect God to deliver what we want when we want it. When done in faith we are provided with assurance that our needs will be taken care of.

This is even alluded to in AA’s “Big Book” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed. AA World Services, 2001) page 559: “We are taught to differentiate between our wants (which are never satisfied) and our needs (which are always provided for). We cast off the burdens of the past and the anxieties of the future, as we begin to live in the present, one day at at time.”

This is also strongly reminiscent of Matthew’s Gospel:

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?
Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’
All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness,and all these things will be given you besides.
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

The Matthew excerpt is very comforting, but sensible too. God will provide. He knows what you need. Time spent in anxiety is time wasted and may indeed get in the way of solutions and remedies that God may be providing. Try and listen to the still, small voice that is the Lord beckoning and reaching out to you with His help.

We must ask in faith, and always in mind as to how this will help in building up the Kingdom of God. That is, seek the way in which we Christians are to transform the world.

We “seek first the Kingdom”, our own needs will fall into place.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Bruised reeds and smoldering wicks and light yokes

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Recently I wrote a post about whether God will ever give you more than you can handle. You can read it here .
I knew of other scriptural passages that are related, and is sometimes used to support the notion that He never will. I recently found them:
Matthew 12:20

A bruised reed he will not break, a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory.

Matthew 11:29-30

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

Reflect on these. The storms of trials, stresses and anxieties can sometimes make His help seem distant and indeed the troubles can seem overpowering. Take a time out from your stress. Grab a Bible. Turn to the Gospels. Any one. Switch to the Old Testament and peruse the Psalms, 150 prayers covering the whole range of human emotions from abject pain to wondrous joy. Time seems to take on a different aspect when you’re reading the Bible. Especially when you’re troubled.

It’s a safe harbor, a refuge.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)