Paolo Mancini was the husband of St. Rita of Cascia, who is the patron saint for my alcoholism recovery because she picked me to be her client and my sobriety date is her feast day. St. Rita is known for many things, among them she is the patroness of those in abusive marriages. This was because Paolo was reputed to be a violent, hot-tempered man.

But Paolo is slowly being rehabilitated. Why? Soot from candle smoke. The following block quotes are from The Catholic Travel Guide.

Very often Saint Rita is portrayed as a long- suffering and even abused wife, whose husband was a violent drunkard, and an unfaithful spouse. The tradition behind this story dates far into history and has been repeated almost without variation down to our own time. The fact is that the story is rooted in a tradition now known to be erroneously based, as well as inconsistent with other details of Rita’s story.

After Rita died her:

casket was decorated inside and out with images depicting Rita, Jesus and Mary Magdalene, as well as with symbols illustrating the spiritual influences on her life. There was also engraved upon its outer cover a poem which spoke of Rita, her suffering and her love. Pilgrims would come to pray before this casket, which was never buried in the ground but remained in a small room within the convent, exposed to the view of visitors. Here they would place devotional candles as signs of their affection and reminders of their prayers. Over many decades the smoke from these candles darkened the casket, eventually making it difficult to read clearly the poetic inscription. In time someone noticed that the poem spoke of a maritu feroce or violent husband.

It was not until the 20th century, when the nuns of Cascia had the monumental casket cleaned and restored, that the maritu feroce vanished. It was discovered that the actual wording was tantu feroce (so violent) and the context clearly referred to the fierce wound of Rita’s thorn, a suffering of quite a different kind.

Source: The Catholic Travel Guide.

Everyone is misunderstood to varying degrees. Perhaps people who are recovering from alcoholism and addictions are more often misuderstood than others. We have experienced our fair share, (and then some!) of misunderstandings. Unless we are famous, or infamous, these vanish after our deaths as we pass from the memories of the people we knew. Sometimes after death, the bad memories that people hold of the dead fade, and mostly good memories remain. Perhaps this is an indication of the person’s eternal fate? 

Everyone today who is familiar with St. Rita of Cascia is also aware of Paolo’s reputation. Which might suck for him given that he’s been dead for around 600 or so years. But does it suck? 

If you’ve read biographies of St. Rita, you learned that her husband died a violent death. He was ambushed and murdered by rivals of some sort. To me, this indicates that while his reputation for being a violent and abusive husband is likely false, it does not necessarily follow that he lead a life of heroic virtue and was a living saint. The circumstances about his death clearly imply that right or wrong, he had enemies who took his life. So, he wasn’t a bad husband, but he may have, in years past, been involved in shady dealings. 

I say “in years past” because it can be taken from St. Rita’s biographers that she did pray intensely for Paolo’s conversion for many years after they were married. So, piece together the clues, and it is reasonable to conclude that for the first bunch of years after they were married, Paolo may have been a loving husband as regards to Rita and was a good provider; however, he may not have been an erstwhile churchgoer, and had incurred a few enemies along the way who wanted him dead, years after Rita brought him back into the Church.

After Paolo’s murder, Rita was distraught over his murder. He had died a sudden death with no preparations for it; as in he didn’t confess his sins beforehand or had viaticum. She grieved over the fate of his soul and prayed hard for his salvation. St. Rita’s biographers indicate that she had recieved a signal grace from Heaven that her prayers for her dead husband’s soul moved God to mercy and Paolo was received into the loving arms of Jesus.

But does this matter now to Paolo? The title of this post is “Paolo Mancini and the eternal implications of being misunderstood.” If Paolo is in Heaven as the story suggests, would he care that he is still regarded as an abusive husband? 

For that matter, does St. Mary Magdalene care that she is known by many as the prostitute that Jesus saved from being stoned? There is some doubt amongst scholars as to which of the numerous “Marys” is the prostitute. 

If you are in Heaven, would you give a shredded scapular over what people back on Earth think of you? You’re in the Beatific Vision, that blessed realm of Heaven where you enjoy God’s Holy Presence and you see Him as He is. What difference does it make what those still trudging their road of destiny think of you? If and when they arrive, they’ll learn the truth about Paolo and the Magdalene, and THAT will remain with them as opposed to the transitory reputation wrongfully attributed to them. (And if they end up in the Other Place, who cares what they thought?)

What’s the lesson in all this as it applies to Sober Catholics? Keep fighting the good fight, “keep your side of the street clean” as they say in AA, work on your soul, keep trudging onward towards Heaven and fret not about what others think of you. Easier said than done, but after no one is saying or doing anything on Earth and in Time, Truth reigns forever in Heaven and people will get to know the Real You. (I’d LOVE to meet Paolo. His wife is my patroness, and his first name is similar to mine! PS: I will have to edit some of the posts I’ve written about St. Rita as they still allude to Paolo’s old reputation. )

Incidentally The Catholic Travel Guide references The Precious Pearl: The Story of Saint Rita, written by Fr. Michael DiGregorio, OSA as the source for the information on Paolo. I have this book, and I highly recommend it, as well as anything else from Virtual Gift Shop at the National Shrine of Saint Rita of Cascia.

HEADS UP: Thank you for reading this far. As a reward, you get to know that the annual Novena to St. Rita begins!!!! Here are two good ones:

NOVENA PRAYERS to St. Rita of Cascia from the National Shrine of St. Rita of Cascia (Philadelphia, PA, USA)

St. Rita Novena from Pray More Novenas

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)