Category Archives: Death

“The Way”

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This isn’t really a movie review. I am expressing gratitude for a film. Which one? The Way, starring Martin Sheen and directed by his son, Emilio Estevez.

theway

I purchased the DVD a few weeks ago and recently found the time to watch it. I can’t say enough about it… I viewed it twice in one day last week and once again today. I feel compelled to watch it again before 2015 is over, which means I’ll be up early tomorrow morning to pop it in the DVD player right after Morning Prayer.

As the movie is over 5 years old, I won’t worry about ruining it with “spoilers,” besides, I don’t think knowing what happens harms the experience of watching the film.

In short, Martin Sheen plays Tom Avery, a Ventura County, California eye doctor whose son, Daniel, played by Emilio Estevez, is travelling about the world because he has to get it out of his system. Daniel is a Ph. D candidate who decides to not finish his dissertation. He determines that the real world is more important than ivory towers. And so he goes off to China, Nepal and elsewhere.

Near the beginning of the movie, we learn that he is in France. And shortly after, Tom learns through a phone call from the French gendarmerie that Daniel was killed in a freak storm in the French Pyrenees. Tom travels to France to claim the remains and return home. Once there, he learns from the French gendarme who notified him of Daniel’s death that Daniel died while going on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. “The Camino” is a 1,000 year-old pilgrimage ending up at the Tomb of St. James the Apostle. If you do a search for that, you’ll learn much more than I can tell you here; clicking on the movie link in the first paragraph is a good start.

After Tom learns of Daniel’s pilgrimage and goes through the gear that was found on his body, he impulsively decides to finish Daniel’s journey. This is not something that one “just decides to do,” for the Camino is about 500 miles long and training is usually required. Tom is over 60. Did I mention that you have to walk it? (But this is a movie, after all… but… perhaps there is a lesson here?)

And so Tom takes Daniel’s gear as well as Daniel (his body was cremated), and starts.

Tom begins the journey and meets numerous people along the Way. Although consumed by his son’s death and the accompanying grief, he reluctantly gathers three companions for the trip. Joost from Amsterdam is the first, and he is doing the Camino to lose weight. His wife no longer wants to be “intimate” with him and he’s had warnings from his doctor. Sarah from Canada is next, she says that she’s doing the Camino to quit smoking. (There’s another reason, which I won’t disclose.) Finally joining the group is Jack from Ireland. He’s a travel writer who is afflicted with writer’s block. He’s there to write a book on the Camino (interviewing pilgrims) and get “unblocked.”

And then stuff happens, 😉 finishing with their arrival at St. James’ Cathedral. (Do they know how to build Cathedrals, or what???)

It is a deceptively simple movie; seeing it several times so quickly keeps me “in it” and enables me to pick out certain things I otherwise would have missed. In other words, the movie remains fresh and seeing it again so soon helps me to add layers of comprehension. It is also not a typical film, very character- and idea-driven, unlike most Hollywood movies.

I now have a tremendous desire to go on Camino, although I doubt it will happen due to physical and financial issues. Bursitis in my arms, arthritis in my shoulders and feet (the feet also have bone spurs/calcified deposits – complications from old sprains) hinder me.

Why did I say that “I am expressing gratitude for” the film? Going “on Camino” is a basic theme of my recovery; “trudging the road of happy destiny” is an AA phrase for a journey for personal recovery (namely, “life.”) I am “here,” I need to go “there,” and going through whatever is in the way is my path. I am a firm believer that the journey is a part of the destination. A journey, or passage, is a symbol for me of conversion and transformation.

This is why the film “spoke to me,” and why I have these compulsions to watch it repeatedly. It’ll pass, it’s not like I’ll be obsessed with it and will end up watching it 500 times (well, maybe over a thirty-year span…) Right now it’s a new discovery that I’m going to enjoy in the near future and many times beyond.

“The Way” is undoubtedly now one of my favorite movies (the list includes “Casablanca.”)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Try and make amends before it’s too late

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I blogged earlier about an online friend’s sudden death.

Given the nature of Sober Catholic, I will offer an exhortation to those who have yet to make amends to people they need to (or have to). Do so, for the time will come when they will die and the opportunity will be lost.

I understand perfectly well the resistance to approaching people and trying to make up for the damage done while drinking or drugging. Sometimes it is not possible as trying to will only do more harm than good. Use your conscience or speak with a sponsor or bring it up at a meeting, if needed.

But at least consider the possibility that they person may not be around when you finally decide to repair the relationship.

NOTE: The lady who died wasn’t someone with whom I needed to make an amends. Her death was sudden, and that is what prompted these posts.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

From sudden and unprovided death, deliver us, O Lord

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I learned today that an online friend died when she was hit by a truck while crossing a street. She passed away later at the hospital. She received Last Rites before she died.

The suddenness of any death typically provokes a reaction of shock and dismay. Someone is there, and then suddenly gone. The quickness is a reminder that we, too, can suddenly be “called home.” We know not the day nor the hour of our passing. We must always be prepared as if today will be our last. But who really does this?

The suddenness of someone’s death also provokes another reaction: that of a desire to quickly think about the living and how we never really appreciate them while they are still with us. I suppose that this is essentially taking people for granted, but I also think that it is a symptom that we do not have death always in mind. It is always a distant, abstract thing. We know it will happen, we prefer not to think about it.

So, death is a distant thing from our minds and the permanence of people in our lives is assumed.

I think if we reverse this on both notions then culture and civilization will be far more peaceful and compassionate.

Incidentally, the lady who died was in recovery, she had purchased both of my Catholic devotional books and enjoyed them, bringing them frequently to Adoration to meditate with. So, her death was a little sensitive for me. I am truly saddened by her loss.

NOTE: This is a “retropost,” a post from an old blog I wrote on “The Four Last Things: Death, Judgment, Heaven (& Purgatory) and Hell” that I shuttered a few years ago. Individual posts are being transferred to either In Exile or Sober Catholic, whichever seems appropriate. Some are backdated, others postdated, some edited, in case you’re confused as to why you never saw a particular post if you’re a diligent reader. The process should be completed by early 2022.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Transitus

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Today is October 3rd and that is the vigil of the Feast Day of St. Francis of Assisi. For Franciscans worldwide, tonight is the “Transitus,”or the ritual observance of his death.

I won’t go into details as to what transpires during the ritual, as I am not a Franciscan and thus have never participated. However, I will blog briefly on the event as it is significant for this blog in some ways.

I read up on the Transitus and various Franciscan sites and blogs variously describe the ritual observance as important as it connects Franciscans with each other – those living today and those who have gone before. That this great community is united by the observance of the death of their Order’s Founder is a wonderful lesson. It is something that can be incorporated in our lives.

“Memento Mori.” “Be mindful of your death.” In memorializing the anniversaries of when our loved ones died, we remember them as they were if their death was lingering due to age or infirmity; but we can also remember them as they had been when still vital and younger. If they died suddenly, it can be a way to “manipulate time,” they were suddenly taken from us but in or memorial observance we can “be there” in some spiritual fashion. If they died too young, well, perhaps it can be a manner in which they are brought forward in life along with us.

Our beloved dead are not forgotten, they are still with us, although in a ritualistic spiritual way. Their death is no longer some event isolated in thr past that might fade a somewhat in memory over the years. Oh, we still remember when Mom or Uncle Jimmy died, but over the years the date slowly becomes just another day in November or July.

Ritual is important. It helps organize life and mark time. “Ritual” is also the hidden word in spiRITUALity, something lost, I think, in those who eschew religion in favor of only spirituality.

As I write this, the feeling is growing within me to actually think about doing this somehow for some of my beloved dead. One way is on the Anniversary of a death is to say the “Office of the Dead” from the Church’s Liturgy of the Hours. Here is an online source: Office of the Dead.

Why is this important for Sober Catholic readers? Death is hard on everyone, but I think there may be a special hurt for people in recovery (regardless of how long clean and sober.) You were somewhat absent from their life while they were alive, because of your drinking and using. And now they’re really gone. Really hard if you owe them an amends. Doing a “transitus” for someone might help you cope with the loss, as well as “make amends.”

Perhaps I’ll think of some thing to do in addition to the Office of the Dead. Making a cemetery visit is good, if possible. Maybe readers this can offer suggestions in the comments.

NOTE: (Reblogged in slightly edited form from The Four Last Things)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Not a destructive drug

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The First Reading from today’s Mass on the Thirteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time is a rather interesting one from a sober Catholic perspective:

Wisdom 1:13-15; 2:23-24…

(italics mine)

“God did not make death,
nor does he rejoice in the destruction of the living.
For he fashioned all things that they might have being;
and the creatures of the world are wholesome,
and there is not a destructive drug among them
nor any domain of the netherworld on earth,
for justice is undying.
For God formed man to be imperishable;
the image of his own nature he made him.
But by the envy of the devil, death entered the world,
and they who belong to his company experience it.”

Courtesy: USCCB

God does not desire for us to perish. But perish we do, as a consequence of our actions. But it wasn’t supposed to be that way.

The things of the earth were not supposed to be destructive in nature, God created everything and called it “good.” (Genesis, Chapter 1). Life wasn’t drudgery and full of pain; that didn’t set in until our Rebellion (Genesis, Chapter 3). That Rebellion, when our First Parents were duped by Satan in to thinking that they can be “like gods” and decide for themselves what is “good” and “evil” is when “death entered the world.”

Literal death, but also other “deaths,” anything that devalued and destroyed life. Disease, addictions, pain, suffering…

Despite the beliefs of certain Protestant Fundamentalists, there’s nothing wrong with drinking alcohol. Abusing it, yes. But merely consuming it, no – if done in moderation. Many things done in moderation become sinful when abused. That is inherent in sin, which is the abuse and misuse of the good things God gave us: our minds, bodies and stuff about us. Just like what our First Parents did, and their Original Sin is replicated quite often today when people disregard God’s Laws and make their own…

You don’t have to suffer from addiction… you can be free of it…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The person who brings a sinner back

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What do you do to bring people back from sinful ways?

An excerpt from the Reading from the Evening Prayer for Friday of the Second Week of Lent is James 5: 19-20 –

“Remember this: the person who brings a sinner back from his way will save his soul from death and cancel a multitude of sins.”

via Divine Office.

I hopefully use this blog to successfully do this. I may only know just how successful during my Particular Judgment. But in keeping with that idea, do you use social media like Facebook and Twitter to bring people to Christ?

You might want to think about that…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Please help a USMC widow…

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Yesterday I blogged about my wife’s efforts to help the homeless, in Tents for the Homeless. Today is another day in which I’ll be exhorting you to consider another Work of Mercy: (a common theme in the Lenten Missal readings…)

Stephanie Price, Marine widow.

Stephanie and her late husband met on CatholicMatch.com, where I also had met my wife. We continued our friendship with Steph on Facebook, (her husband wasn’t a member.) Our little group of CatholicMatch alumni were devastated with the news of her husband succumbing to PTSD and depression.

To quote from the gofundme campaign: “Stephanie, his beautiful wife who stood by him and tried all she could to get him the help he deserved is now left to pick up the pieces of their family life.

She is the one who has paid it forward for so many. Now this is our opportunity to not only show gratitude for a friend, but to also say thank you for YOUR service, devoted wife of a US Marine who dedicated his life to improving our lives.”

So, for all those who “Support the Troops,” now is your chance to do something. Michael had served in three branches of the US military (Marines, Army, National Guard.)

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I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

There is one thing I ask of the Lord

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I often focus on the path we are on to get where we’re going. “Trudging the road of Happy Destiny,” it says in the “Big Book” of AA. I don’t discuss the actual destination that much, although I do have a sister blog to Sober Catholic, totally dedicated to the afterlife: The Four Last Things – Death. Judgment. Heaven. Hell.

In today’s Evening Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours, there is a passage which reflects the sweet desire for the Lord’s house:

Psalm 27: 4

“There is one thing I ask of the Lord, for this I long, to live in the house of the Lord, all the days of my life, to savor the sweetness of the Lord, to behold his temple.”

via DivineOffice.org.

It is a nice image, and one that can help us maintain our focus during Lent.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death! Where is your sting?

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NOTE: this post is a version slightly edited from The Four Last Things. “O death! You separate those who are joined to each other in marriage. You harshly and cruelly divide those whom friendship unites. But your power is broken. Your heinous yoke has been destroyed by the One who sternly threatened you when Hosea cried out: O Death! I shall be your death. And with the words of the apostle we, too, deride you: O death! Where is your victory? O death! Where is your sting!

Your conqueror redeemed us. He handed himself over to wicked men so that he could transform the wicked into persons who were truly dear to him.” – St. Braulio, Bishop.

The above is from the Office of Readings in the Office of the Dead from the Liturgy of the Hours. I said that this morning instead of the usual Divine Office as today is the ninth anniversary of my Mom’s death.

I still haven’t gotten completely over it. Who really does “get over” death? Perhaps some unfortunates.

I posted the above quote from St. Braulio to give comfort and to remind you that there is hope in the Resurrection. I also post it to remind those that harbor resentments that the clock is ticking. Once people are gone, they’re gone. Amends can no longer be made.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Miracle of the Sun and Halloween

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On October 13, 1917 the final Marian Apparition at Fatima, Portugal took place.

I know I’m a few weeks late with this, but upon reflection, I decided to push back writing this until today, the Feast of All Hallow’s Eve (a/k/a “Halloween”). I’ll explain at the end.

Seventy thousand people attended the event, which was supposed to have a miracle promised by the Virgin Mary so that all may believe.

Amongst those present were representatives of the Portuguese media, all socialist and all anti-clerical (theophobes who despised the Catholic Church, professed atheism, and who cooperated in what they hoped would be the eventual destruction of the Church in Portugal. The country had undergone a revolution in 1910 which deposed the Catholic monarch and imposed restrictions on the Church.)

Our Lady appeared as promised, but not alone. St. Joseph also appeared, holding the Christ Child.

Oh, yes: the sun also danced in the sky. Witnessed by all those in attendance, and by more hundreds of miles away, the sun whirled about in the sky, terrifying the witnesses.

It also appeared to hurtle towards the Earth, convincing people that the World was ending (and this part of the Apparition is why I decided to take advantage of my posting tardiness and write this today.)

One note on the sun dancing: for anyone who may be skeptical, one evidence that “something” happened lays in the fact that it had been raining heavily all day long, so much so that the ground throughout the area was drenched. Saturated with water, and combined with the foot traffic of 70,000 attendees, it was a horrific muddy mess.

Until the sun dried it. Nearly instantly. According to all those present, after the Apparition was over and the sun returned to its normal state, the ground was hardened as though it had not seen rain for weeks.

And another note for skeptics: this was all duly reported by the anti-clerical media. The reporters had gone there hoping (or rather assuming) that the whole event would be a non-happening; that the seers would be shamed,the Church embarrassed and once and for all the foolish belivers would have their religious superstitions exposed for what they are – nonsense.

But no, they couldn’t deny the event, their skepticism and non-belief didn’t prevent them from witnessing the Miracle of the Sun, nor acknowledging the effects on the physical environment.

So much for that.

Now, as to why I “reframed the situation” and took advantage of my lateness in posting this.

As the sun plunged to the Earth the believers were understandably freaked out. They thought the world was ending.

The liturgical calendar for the Catholic Church has tomorrow as the Solemnity of All Saints, and after that the Memorial of All Souls. All Saints is for all those in Heaven, officially canonized by the Church or not; and All Souls is for the Faithful Departed who are undergoing purification in Purgatory.

These two days are there (amongst other reasons) to remind us of our ultimate end. Someday we will all die. There is no escaping that.

Maybe this is something for you to consider, before God decides to hurl the Sun at you.

(This is the last post on the Marian Apparition at Fatima, Portugal for 2014. As I’ve stated before, I plan to write on this Apparition around the anniversaries of each apparition in the months they occurred through the centenary anniversary in 2017. The Apparition happened on the 13th of May, June, July, September and October, as well as a late one on August 19th. I do this because upon my research into the the Apparitions, I find many things useful to Catholics in addiction recovery. To discover more, please see the “Fatima” category in the drop-down Category menu in the sidebar.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)