Category Archives: Musings

Reviving a Catholic-based recovery network

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There is a slow, but somewhat promising attempt to revive the old Catholic Recovery/Recovery for Christ social networks. Slow, because we thought of it a few months ago and that is as far as we’ve gotten.

So, rather than put a lot of time into developing a network, or even a discussion forum-type of site, I proposed the idea of perhaps starting small.

And so the idea is that an email-based discussion group (probably using Google Groups) be started. In this email Group, members who desire a Catholic-based recovery program can just email members whenever they are struggling with their sobriety, chastity, or other addiction issues. Perhaps it is a life problem and in the past they submitted to their addiction over it, or some other problem associated with their addiction. General chit-chat from time to time might be allowable, depending. But the idea is for a nice, safe place, restricted to members-only, not public, so that anonymity and privacy is assured, where Catholics who are addicted to whatever can meet and share their struggles and stuff and their Catholicism is not looked upon with contempt.

If you are interested, please email me at paulcoholic at gmail dot com, or post something in the comments. That is the gmail address that I will be using for my administration of the Group. So far, I have 3 or 4 people interested. I’d like to wait until there’s a few more before getting started.

Thanks.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

When Facing Overwhelming Odds

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In trouble? Facing a foe bigger than you? Are you having to put up with junk that you’d rather not have to put up with? (This could mean anything.) Have no fear, for Judas Maccabaeus is here, and he has Heaven on his side!

1 Maccabees 3: 17-19: “But when they saw the army coming against them, they said to Judas: “How can we, few as we are, fight such a strong host as this? Besides, we are weak since we have not eaten today.”

But Judas said: “Many are easily hemmed in by a few; in the sight of Heaven there is no difference between deliverance by many or by few; for victory in war does not depend upon the size of the army, but on strength that comes from Heaven.”

(Via USCCB.)

We can take a lot of hope and inspiration from Judas Maccabaeus. A Jewish leader and warrior during a time when the Israelite nation was under occupation and forced to worship false gods (a symbol of assimilation into worldly ways, of convenient religious belief that is safe from persecution) he did not allow the fact of overwhelming odds deter him from doing what was right.

We can read the Books of Maccabees and, apart from being enthralled by the adventures, get hope and sustenance from his courage.

Especially during trials in which we feel that our opponents are “too big” for us. In Heaven’s eyes, they see us, and them, allied against our opponents. (Of course, this is depending on our cause being just.)

So, fear not. You are going through some problems at work (like me) or some other difficult situation. Don’t give up. Rely heavily on the Lord your God and eventually, although it seems like forever, justice will prevail. That may seem very trite, particularly if your darkness has enveloped you for a long time. But patient endurance has a way of wearing down those who oppose you.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

And so it begins… a cycle of anniversaries

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Six years ago today my Mom was taken to the ICU for reasons unknown at the time. We had thought it was related to her heart condition (she had surgery earlier in the year and a stent was implanted in her heart), but as it turned out she had a ruptured bowel.

She died from it on November 7th, but that is for a later post. But today begins a particular cycle of anniversaries of her final weeks, for the dates now fall upon the days-of-the week as they occurred in 2005, the first time this has happened since her death that year.

Not that it really makes these anniversaries any different, it is just another year. But somehow the coincidence of dates and days makes them a little more, I don’t know, poignant is a word that comes to mind. A special emotional feeling triggering the heart and mind in a way that is unique to the event.

I was originally going to post this at my other blog, The Four Last Things, and indeed later today an edited version of it may appear there, but I changed it to here for now as anniversaries of this sort can also be triggers for a relapse.

Those of us who are alcoholics have minds that are moody, even after years of sobriety (nearly 9 1/2 for me). Emotional mood swings and responses are not unheard of, even though they may level out and not seem as extreme as they were during the old drinking days or early sobriety. Nevertheless they are there and pose a risk.

Not that I am in danger of a relapse, I have no intention of drinking “despite” the anniversaries and certain other stresses in my life. But still I must remain aware of the dangers to my sobriety and continued ability to remain a responsible, contributing member of society.

Life just sucks at times and during those periods we have to just “suck it up” and deal with it as best we can, and accept help from whatever quarters it is offered. Pray a lot and reflect.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Thoughts on recovery social networking

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Last week I shut down the “Recovery for Christ” social network for lack of interest. I have not given up on an online interactive community for Catholics recovering from addictions, but it will have to wait while interest is rebuilt.

To that end, there is an alternative, maybe a temporary one. Google has started a new social network called “Google Plus.” The “Plus” may eventually be a rival to Facebook. It has a lot of the same features as Facebook, but with one chief difference: “Circles.” Circles are a way to organize your contact list, but unlike Facebook’s method of grouping friend lists, on G+ you can target their lists with posts and other sharing. In other words, when you post something to G+, you have the option of sharing it with only a few friends.

With this lies the possibility of G+ members having Circles of friends for specific purposes, such as for online recovery work. People can connect with each other and freely share their struggles with a select few.

So far, G+ is by invitation only. If you are not a member and want an invite, email me through this blog and I’ll send you one. Be sure to include an email address. (My blog’s email address is a different Google account than the one I use for G+) If you are already a G+ member, contact me through here and we’ll link up there!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Happiness from People, Places and Things

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A realization came to me at work a few weeks ago. I transferred to a new place within my company, and I had been undergoing a somewhat painful transition. I was wondering about why we have to endure certain things. I know I’ve written a great number of times about the need to accept suffering as evidence of our willingness to follow Christ, but at times I still wonder about happiness, and its place in our lives.

I think that happiness is illusory, we cannot depend upon others too much for our happiness, and if we look inward we become self-indulgent and then block out other people. Places change. The things of this world are passing, we cannot depend upon them either.

People come and go, the things of this world fade away, too. Some people stay with you for a long time, but they are a minority.

Places deteriorate, or you have to leave them for other places.

Things that the world offers are definitely not a source of happiness, at least not long-term healthy kind. They tend to take you away from God and the spiritual.

The only true source of happiness comes from following God’s will as best as one can discern it and following that will to Heaven, our true and eternal home.

It is sometimes necessary then for Christians to be “disconnected” from the world, to be “in the world”, but not “of it”. We participate in it, but realize that it is only a way station, and not a place of permanence.

Not sure where I’m going with all this, as it isn’t original or deeply profound, but pondering it helped me get through some trying times at work. Perhaps it was a needed shift in perspective.

NOTE: This was published a few years ago on one of my other, now defunct blogs. I am reposting it here, slightly edited for some updating. Interesting how you realize things all over again.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Upon discovering Truth

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You can make a cucumber into a pickle, but you cannot make that pickle back into a cucumber again.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Just enough

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Quite often over the past few years I have been given lessons by God Himself on the importance of trusting in Him and His Providence. “Divine Providence” is basically God taking care of you. It does NOT mean that you pray for something and “BOING!” you get it. How you obtain what you need (not want) varies but essentially you trust in the Lord and cooperate with His will, and your basic needs are met. There may be a lag time in when you obtain the need, (“I want what I want, and I want it now!”) or in the perceived quality (“I want a MacBookPro! You mean I gotta settle for an ASUS netbook? AAARRRGH!!”) and so on. But if you look back and humbly assess the situation, you will find that although your wants were not satisfied, your needs were met.

Recently I’ve discussed this with my wife, and we basically refer to this phenomenon as getting “Just enough.” We have “just enough” to get by. We may be a little iffy for next month or the one after that, but somehow we have “just enough” to meet our current needs. The future may be dark, but right now the lights are still on.

We rely on Divine Providence. Sure, it would be nice to have a cushion. But this includes God more in our lives, as there is a partnership with us. This seems to be how He works. He did not need us, but we were created anyway. God’s will seems to quite often involve our cooperation. Sure, He can just will something to happen and solve something. But now, instead He chooses to involve us. Perhaps doing so respects the gift of free will.

One of the first major situations when I started keeping track was a few years ago after my Mom died. I was working as a part-time janitor for my local parish. My priest “just happened” to need someone around for light maintenance work just after Mom died (turns out the previous guy left for something else full time, if I recall correctly. My priest also knew someone who “just happened” to have an available apartment, which would come in handy as I was about to be kicked out of my Mom’s old house.) Anyway, my car needed a new muffler. Badly. I did not have the money for a new one. I had spoken to my priest about financial difficulties and he gave me a basic raise. But still, I would not have enough cash for the muffler.

Payday arrives. I get my paycheck, and it turns out the pay included the raise retroactive for the previous pay period, not the upcoming one as you’d expect. It provided me with “just enough” money to get the new muffler.

This does not always happen to the faithful. Something like this also happened a long time ago when I was a “spiritual seeker”. I believed in God but not religion, but apart from believing in Him I paid Him little attention.

A job I had when I lived in Southern California had just ended. One of the perks I had as the employee was an apartment (right near the beach, like a block in!) Naturally, when the job ended so did the lease. So, all of a sudden I was facing unemployment and eviction. Within the space of maybe 2-3 days just before Thanksgiving 1993 I had obtained a job through a temp agency and an apartment (still near the beach, but a block farther in.) This blew my mind, that I was able to accomplish that so suddenly. Street savvy/life-survival skills were not my strength, and accomplishing this made me proud.

(Unfortunately, the job led me to meet a woman I had a disastrous romantic situation with, which I reacted to by altering my drinking habits from occasionally social to daily coping. But that may or may not be another post.)

It could also happen in little things. The event that caused me to start thinking about this post happened yesterday when I finally planted our vegetable garden. I had “just enough” plants for the garden space I dug, “just enough” fencing and fence posts to lay around it, “just the right size” pallet for the garden gate. Nothing major, but it got me thinking.

So:

Matthew 6: 24-34

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?

Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.

But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.

If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’

All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.

Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

(Via USCCB.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Ask the pathways of old

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The Old Testament Reading from today’s Daytime Prayer had something that stuck out for me:

Jeremiah 6:16: “Thus says the LORD: Stand beside the earliest roads, ask the pathways of old “Which is the way to good”, and walk it; thus you will find rest for your souls.”

(Via USCCB.)

This sort of reminds me of lines from AA’s “Big Book” in which the newly sober are advised to re-examine the religion of their youth and also to listen to religious members and take the best of what they offer.

I do not know how many people nowadays respect this advice. I did, and I felt it justified my seeking out my Catholic faith and what it had to offer for alcoholism in my very early days of recovery. I was going to do it anyway, but it provided some needed support as early on I discovered the bias against organized religion (i.e. the Catholic Church).

My interpretation is probably taken out of context from whatever Jeremiah meant, but seeking out the ancient Faith of Catholicism with all its history of saints, miracles, healing and holiness was an obvious thing to turn to to shore up the shallow spirituality that is Twelve Steps.

The Catholic Faith is the sure road to Salvation.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Crucifying your old self

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This week is Holy Week, the time from Palm Sunday thru the Triduum (3 days) of Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday. It is also a good time to get “caught up” with your Lenten resolutions of interior conversion and penance. Spirit Daily has a great article on using Holy Week to “become a new person” , the person that you are supposed to be. Isn’t that a main point of the addiction recovery process?

Here it is:

Spirit Daily: “HOLY WEEK IS TIME TO PUT ON A NEW NATURE AND SEND YOUR GUILT INTO THE WOUNDS OF THE LORD”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

By their fruits you shall know them

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Spirit Daily posted an article recently on spiritual growth and development, an issue that is near and dear to the hearts of people in recovery everywhere. It’s a good read, here it is:

SEEK YOUR ‘HIGHEST SELF’ AND REMEMBER THAT BY THE FRUITS WE KNOW OTHERS AND OURSELVES

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)