Releasing yourself from the things that harm

There is an interesting article on clinging to people, places and things that afflict you, and why and how to release and distance yourself from them.

(Via Spirit Daily.)

Give it a read!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes for Alcoholics: Day 8

Recovery from addictions is quite often referred to as a “path” or “road”. In AA literature there is the often used phrase: “trudging the road of happy destiny.” Many times people fall away or drift off that road. This is a relapse.

People relapse for many reasons. Some, like me, relapse early on in recovery. The “plan” or program of recovery hadn’t yet firmed up in the person and something too difficult happened and an old crutch was used to deal with the problem. Or some other mysterious reason had caused the person to return to the addiction, it isn’t always a problem too difficult too handle.

A guy I knew in my old AA home group had said that when in meetings during which a person discussed their relapse, he didn’t really pay too much attention as to why the relapse occurred if the individual had been sober for less than 5 years. Five years being a conservative time frame for “early recovery”. Over 5 years, and he focused on the story as he was very much interested in why a person with a proven history of sober living had strayed. Humility pretty much demands that anyone can relapse, no one is ever immune from the life-long allure of your “drug of choice.” No matter how long your sobriety, no matter what your “program of recovery” is, you are susceptible.

But there is always help. Yes, there are the people in your recovery meetings and such that you can call on. But there is also always your Blessed Mother, ready, willing and able to stand by and help her children whenever they are in distress. Just develop the faith needed to trust in her.

Pray:

Oh ever Immaculate Virgin, Mother of Mercy, Health of the Sick, Refuge of Sinners, Comfortess of the Afflicted, you know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. Look upon me with mercy. When you appeared in the grotto of Lourdes, you made it a privileged sanctuary where you dispense your favors, and where many sufferers have obtained the cure of their infirmities, both spiritual and corporal. I come, therefore, with unbounded confidence to implore your maternal intercession. My loving Mother, obtain my request. I will try to imitate your virtues so that I may one day share your company and bless you in eternity. Amen

From: Prayers – Catholic Online: “Prayer to Our Lady of Lourdes”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Drinking is Never an Option

I think it was nearly 5 years ago when I stumbled upon the notion of just ruling out the idea that drinking is an option. In the “One Day at a Time” concept of 12 Step Movements, you will just take the notion of not drinking, but just for today. “Today, I will not drink.” This is because the idea of never taking a drink for the rest of one’s life may be too much to handle. Therefore, take it in bite-size, one-day-at-a-time baby steps. Tomorrow is another story, another day.

While this is fine, and very successful, I found it questionable for my own personal abilities. You see, the “ODAAT” (“One Day at a Time” acronym) leaves open the possibility of drinking tomorrow. Advocates of ODAAT would respond by saying that you would merely resolve to do ODAAT again when tomorrow arrives. But for me, there would still be that narrow window of opportunity that would allow a drink to sneak in.

Therefore, I decided that drinking would never be an option. No matter how good, or how bad, drinking just wouldn’t be on the table as a response. In the past, I would drink when things got bad, but also when things were great. Drinking was a lubricant, either quelling the pain or heightening the joy. Drinking was always a response to something. It was an option.

What had happened to get me to the idea that drinking would never be an option, no matter what was a day in April 2004 in which I was laid off from a job due to insufficient work. As I was the last hired, I was the first to go. I was depressed, I had thought that I had finally “made it” in sobriety, that I had finally landed a job that would last and that I was putting in the final building blocks of my sobriety. The initial struggling period would be over and I would just “practice these principles in all my affairs” and just live. But being laid off shattered that notion.

I drove home, and it seemed as every liquor store in my part of the state was between work and home. I resisted the urge to go into any of them, thinking all the way “ODAAT”, and went instead straight to my old AA Home Group. I pondered stuff and I think that the topic was something about ODAAT. I decided that ODAAT wasn’t good enough for me, or rather, not suitable enough. There was always that danger that the desire to drink would wedge its way in and that I wouldn’t be strong enough the next day to do ODAAT.

So I decided to just remove drinking from the list of options. Not just for today, but forever. ODAAT preserves the notion that drinking is an option for tomorrow, and when tomorrow arrives, just push drinking off one more day through ODAAT.

My removing drinking as an option does not mean that I will resolve to never drink for the rest of my life, the scary notion that ODAAT evolved to ease. It just isn’t on the list of response mechanisms I have at my disposal. It isn’t something that I “do”, or have to ponder with never doing. I am not facing the prospect of viewing the rest of my life without drinking, it is more like the idea that murder or rape is simply not an option for how decent civilized people deal with others. Drinking isn’t there for me to choose. I do not bemoan the idea that I won’t murder or rape anyone in the future before I die, doing either of those things isn’t a part or my character. Drinking no longer is a part of my character.

I did not arrive at this idea easily. I spent the entire month of April 2004 beating this into my brain. I was helped by many AA meeting topics that kind of reinforced this. I guess the Holy Spirit was working on me.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Perseverance

Perseverance will see you through. Too many people give up and cave in to despair or pressure and never see it through their pain and suffering.

Problems never seem to be solvable while you’re going through them, but when they’re done you’re stronger as a result.

There are wishes during the experiences for the gentle relief of alcohol, just to take the edge off. But you never seriously entertain the thought. Just a wistful longing and then dismissed. Sometime ago during weaker days you might have succumbed.

One reason why you hear it said that enduring suffering strengthens you. Like an athlete in training, you get stronger in dealing with life.

Too many people in today’s societies try to avoid suffering and trials and seek to avoid them. That is why most of us are alcoholics, we lacked the ability to effectively cope with them.

“This, too, shall pass.” And pass it does.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The many ways of God's healing gifts

The following is a link to an article on being open to the varied and diverse ways that God can heal you. Please read and consider how or if it can be relevant to your life.

Spirit Daily – Daily spiritual news from around the world: “GOD IS A GOD OF SURPRISE AND HAS SUCH IN STORE FOR YOU IF YOU HEAL INSIDE AND LOVE”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

God will never allow the righteous to stumble

I believe that it was yesterday’s readings in the Liturgy of the Hours that I came across this line:

Psalm 55:23;

Cast your care upon the LORD, who will give you support. God will never allow the righteous to stumble.

One might think that this is overly comforting but a lot of nonsense as many of us since our drinking and drugging days have stumbled. Therefore how can this be true? Since we left our addictive living behind, haven’t we stumbled anyway? Therefore, what of this testimony from the Psalmist that God won’t allow us to stumble?

I am uncertain as to the finer theological points explaining this apparent flaw. Maybe there is a flaw in the translation. Another Catholic translation (The Jerusalem Bible) restates this as He will “not allow the virtuous to falter.”

Anyway, regardless of the word, there is an implied confidence that faith in God and in His support will never be for nothing. Perhaps then there is nothing incorrect in using the word “stumble” or “falter”, but in rather who is to blame when we actually do stumble.

Was it that our faith was weak? There had been several times early in my sobriety when I was going to Confession in an attempt to root out sinful behavior, and that behavior still occurred. Who was to blame? God? No, He gave us free will to choose His will or our own. His gift to us to use as our conscience guided us. These behaviors continued and I was going to give up. Praise God I never did, but was given the faith to endure and progress and perhaps quell those sinful behaviors.

And so I stumbled and faltered when my faith was weak. My fault. We too often blame God for our own wrongdoings. “Well,” we say, “I am a believer, I struggle to progress spiritually, why did I stumble? God wasn’t there for me.” Where in fact, it was us who wasn’t there for God. For whatever reason, our faith was lacking, we allowed distractions and other concerns to get in the way of permitting God’s help, we relied on our own means and faltered. We fail to realize that it is a cooperative effort, we place our faith in God, and He rescues us, but He also respects our free will when we drift off and leave His guiding hand behind.

You may stumble, but never fall. As you consciously or unconsciously turned away from His help, you can turn back. “God allows U-turns”, as a bumper sticker on my car says. If we fall, it is only because we failed to turn back to His arms reaching out to grab us.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Sober anniversary

At about this time six years ago (May 22, 2002, not sure exactly the hour) I had my last drink.

It was vodka, cheap and seemingly necessary. I had relapsed a week or two before after only 3 1/2 months of sobriety, and had embarrassed myself at an AA meeting the day before. At most AA meetings someone reads a selection from the “How It Works” chapter of AA’s basic text “Alcoholic Anonymous”. I slurred my words and it was quite clear I was under the influence. That day’s topic was me and relapsing.

The next day I went back to that AA meeting and it was a newcomer’s meeting. I felt like a hypocrite telling 2 new people how the 12 Steps helped me so I walked out and stopped off at a liquor store before going home. I finished the bottle that night.

What followed were 88 hours of insomnia and hallucinations. I wrote about it last year in a post here . The changes in my life since that post have been astonishing. I met a lady, moved to be near her, married her and found a rewarding job.

I guess “hope” is the operative word here. There is hope if you stick it out.

No matter how good or how bad, drinking is never an option.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 8 of the Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Addiction

Today for this novena we petition for Fear of the Lord.

As before, we start with the prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Fear is the misunderstood part of this gift. Fear is misunderstood to imply that God is a harsh, brutal unforgiving taskmaster that we should cower and cringe before in mortal terror.

Fear is perhaps better understood as meaning respect. We must respect the Lord our God who created us and sustains us throughout our lives and who decides when that life is over.

After receiving all of the other gifts of the Holy Spirit, we can understand that receiving fear of the Lord as not to be something, well, feared. A healthy, deep and loving respect for God is a natural result of the spiritual development and growth that devotion to the Holy Spirit brings.

Many alcoholics upon recovering reject organized religion as it is felt to be a sign of an unrelenting and unforgiving God. This is based on their past alcoholic relationship with the Church. The interesting thing is that in their recovery, at least according to the 12 Steps, they are to make amends to all they have hurt, to “clean up their side of the street” and to be open to healing all parts of their lives. But they (in my experience) leave out the Church. They harbor and nurture a lingering resentment towards the Church. To me this is a land mine waiting to explode. Regardless of one’s opinion on organized religion, to not heal all of your past alcoholic relationships is an incomplete recovery. This view of organized religion may ultimately poison a relationship with God.

To say that “I believe in God, but not religion”, is like saying “I believe in air, but not in breathing”.

Pray for a healthy, loving respect for God. It will affect all your relationships.

Oh, Holy Spirit, give me a deep and respectful fear of the Lord, our God ,who gave me life and sustains me though all my sufferings. I ask this in the name of Jesus, the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 1 of Novena to the Holy Spirit for Addictions and Recovery

Beginning Prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Ask the Holy Spirit for healing during this Novena. Regardless of how long you have been sober, most of us are all still one or more drinks away from returning to our previous status as practicing alcoholics. Even if you are still in the death grip of alcohol, there is still time. When there is still life, there is still hope. God allows u-turns!

Why might there still be the threat of drinking? Perhaps we still are at odds with how to handle sobriety. Reality is still difficult to cope with on its terms. All of us, sober or not, need the Advocate, the Holy Spirit to guide us on our way. He is the real “Higher Power,” the only One through whom God the Father guides and protects His own.

We have nine days of prayer and meditation before Pentecost Sunday. Spend the time wisely. Daily petition the Holy Spirit to help you. Reciting the prayer beginning each day’s novena is good, as well as adding your own humble requests.

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I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Help for those who are tested

From the Second Reading from today’s morning Mass, the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord:

Hebrews 2:14-18;

Since the children share in blood and flesh, Jesus likewise shared in them, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the Devil, and free those who through fear of death had been subject to slavery all their life. Surely he did not help angels but rather the descendants of Abraham; therefore, he had to become like his brothers and sisters in every way, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest before God to expiate the sins of the people. Because he himself was tested through what he suffered, he is able to help those who are being tested.

I’ll repeat the last line: Because he himself was tested through what he suffered, he is able to help those who are being tested.

Every one of us faces tests on a daily basis. Some of us more than others. For anyone suffering from an addiction, either still enslaved by it or recovering from it, the tests can be brutal. All sorts of things attack us daily and the answer is sometimes presented as: “Just one wouldn’t hurt. What harm can just one do?”

Plenty, as we all know.

Because Jesus Himself was tested, He can assist us, we can call upon Him to increase our strength, (or increase His strength within us). He was tested for 40 days in the desert by Satan, He was tested for 3 excruciating, agonizing hours on the Cross, we can place our sufferings and temptations in light of His. We can get strength from Him.

It’s an emotional exercise, more than anything else, but then again when we are suffering through trials and temptations, our emotions are engaged and our higher rational thinking is absent.

Look upon the Cross.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)