Category Archives: Virtue

True Freedom

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Freedom, the lack of it, the excess of it, or the abuse of it, is an undercurrent of the culture wars of today. Everyone wants it, everyone pretty much gets resentful when someone else uses it, and what it means for one person doesn’t necessarily hold for another. Nevertheless, what is freedom to the Christian?

True freedom is freedom from sin. Sin cuts us off from God. Sin prevents us from fulfilling our potential as true adopted children of God. Sin is an offense against God and also an offense against other people’s dignity and our own.

No one is sinless, and we all suffer from the effects of sin and of repeatedly falling into a state of sin (concupiscence). Nevertheless the struggle to resist temptation mirrors the struggle for freedom. We all struggle to get what we want that we think would make us “free.”. It may be things we feel we are entitled to and things we are responsible for and take care of and things we are obligated to do. Responsibilities and obligations do not curtail our freedom, despite the fact that in fulfilling them, we may not be doing what we’d prefer. Selfishness is an abuse of freedom. We are not isolated individuals, we are a part of a community of people (although that seems hard to fathom at times) and our freedom should not really be at the expense of others.

The struggle against the flesh, a war fought from Adam and Eve’s time that manifests itself most vividly today in the culture wars (Life versus “Choice”, Christianity versus the World, etc.) is a battle fraught with pain and anxiety. The constant war against temptations, difficult to do in the excessively sexualized Western countries, has damaged individuals and societies.

For those of us addicted to something, we remember the relief we felt when we succumbed to the addiction. Perhaps we realized that we drank too much and tried to stop, either by our own efforts or through a 12 Step program. We tried real hard, resisting the urge to drink and remember feeling trapped by our desires. Relief was all that we desired, but it was to no avail until we drank again. And then we felt free.

But it was a false freedom, for we remained trapped by the addiction. The temporary relief sufficed for a while, and after a period of time we felt the draw to drink again. We might struggle against the temptation, and we might win or succumb again depending upon circumstances.

But the temptation is often there. As it is with us now after a period of sobriety, the temptation for something is not far away. I remember a few years ago I was feeling frustrated in my sobriety, that I couldn’t “do anything fun.” I remember praying to have a “safe vice.”

Nowadays many people are cross-addicted, (addicted to several things). Quite often sex or pornography is the other addiction.

As I said above it is hard to resist such things in the hyper-sexualized world of today.

There are no easy answers in how to cope with temptation. No quick and easy solutions. Satan will keep hammering away at you until he succeeds. There is temporary respite in the form of prayer, Bible reading, attending Mass or Adoration, or going to Confession. Once I immerse myself in “Church stuff” such as those, I feel the wolves have been scared away. I feel more fully reconnected to God and holiness and I feel truly free. I feel close to God and the community of the Church, I feel more like the way I am supposed to be. Truly free, unencumbered by the shackles of addiction or temptation or desires of the world.

There may be some value in temptation. Satan isn’t going to bother with you if you are in his clutches. If you are in a state of mortal sin, he won’t bother tempting you. You already belong to him. Even if you have committed only a number of venial sins, he may not bother you that much. Not to imply that that there is a formula like ‘x’ number of venial sins = 1 mortal sin, but the cumulative effect of numerous venial sins may make it easier for you to commit a mortal sin. Sort of like a snowball effect, it gets bigger and bigger unless it is checked. You become prone to immorality, it is only a matter of time before you find yourself deeper in it. So, temptation may be a sign of your holiness. Do some “Church stuff” and increase the holiness. It helps you to rebound after you do sin. This is what defined the saints. Sure, they all lead holy lives of heroic virtue. They needed heroism to be victorious over sin. They always picked themselves up after a fall.

So that is it. Like the contradiction of the Cross, wherein death brings life:

1 Corinthians 1:23: “But we are preaching Christ crucified. Certainly, to the Jews, this is a scandal, and to the Gentiles, this is foolishness.”

(Via Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version.)

Truth is sometimes confounding. God’s Truth usually confounds human reason to the point of seeming ridiculous. So it is with “true freedom,” it is not what we normally think it is.

Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics — A SoberCatholic.com book

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Just one more

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Today’s meditation in “Walk in Dry Places” by Hazelden mentions the diminishing returns of having “just one more drink.” As if having “one more” could bring the comfort and solace that is missing, it merely hastens our descent into deeper addiction. It is a false promise, an illusory note that we can be satisfied by a physical thing or act for what is essentially a spiritual problem.

As Catholics, we have access to a wealth of spiritual aids that we can dive into, and fill our soul. Mass and the Sacraments, but also devotional practices such as the Rosary. The Rosary, when said slowly and prayerfully, meditation on the Scripture-based Mysteries, can do wonders for filling that “hole in the soul”, which never seems to be satisfied by just another drink.

Reading Sacred Scripture is the ultimate devotional tool at our disposal. Reading the Word of God and dwelling upon the words and meanings is excellent for that satisfying spiritual hunger.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Live Temperately, Justly, and Devoutly

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The Second Reading at Solemnity of the Nativity of the Lord (Christmas)
Mass at Midnight has bits of advice for life that has relevance for all, but especially for those of us who love a sober life rooted in Catholic spirituality (I italicized the parts I mean):

Letter to Titus: 2:11-14: “Beloved:
The grace of God has appeared, saving all
and training us to reject godless ways and worldly desires
and to live temperately, justly, and devoutly in this age,
as we await the blessed hope,
the appearance of the glory of our great God
and savior Jesus Christ,
who gave himself for us to deliver us from all lawlessness
and to cleanse for himself a people as his own,
eager to do what is good.
“

(Via USCCB.)

We should all “reject godless ways and worldly desires and to live temperately, justly, and devoutly in this age.” This is essential in order to live a sober and chaste life.

Pray daily, attend Mass Daily (if possible) and go to Confession frequently (at least once or twice a month. To say that you don’t need to go that often means you are deluding yourself.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to St. Michael the Archangel, Day 6

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On this sixth day of the Novena, we petition the Lord for protection against evil and temptation.

Evil exists. Just read the news. Evil is the absence of good and the pursuit of power, control and influence for selfish gain. It is the pursuit of our will in opposition to God’s. God is not responsible for the evil in the world, humans are. The greater the human pursuit of self-interest, the greater the evil. That may not be fully descriptive or an all-encompassing explanation, but it will do.

Evil is seductive and can convince us of the greatness of our own power and invincibility. How often when you drank you believed anything was possible? How often did you drink to fortify yourself against the day?

Succumbing to temptation is like a release against the tension and struggle of self-control. It can seem liberating and easier to do. “Why fight it?”

It is surrendering to the convenience and false happiness of the short-term gain as opposed to the lasting and satisfying long-term benefits of sobriety, chastity and self-control. Animals succumb to their passions, humans can control them, with the help of God’s grace.

Now, to the Novena:

Begin the prayer with: O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me. Glory be to the Father…, etc.

By the intercession of St. Michael and the celestial Choir of Virtues may the Lord preserve us from evil and falling into temptation. Amen.

[Say one Our Father and three Hail Marys after your intentions for the protection against evil and temptation.]

To say the entire Chaplet, click here:
Chaplet of St. Michael

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to St. Michael the Archangel, Day 5

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On this fifth day of the Novena, we petition
the Lord for protection against Satan.

Alcoholism is called “cunning, baffling and powerful.” Indeed it is, since it is also a weapon use by Satan to trap us and keep us from the path God intended for us to trudge.

It is stronger than we are, if we battle it alone. Joining with others to help maintain sobriety has been a huge success, whether it is through actual 12 Step membership, or even more informal camaraderie with good friends who help keep each other clean and sober (made easier nowadays with social networking like Facebook, Plurk and Google+).

Alone we are vulnerable to attack. With others, especially strengthened by prayer and meditation, we can put it behind us and recover the life we were meant to lead.

Matthew 18:20
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

(Via USCCB.)

Now, to the Novena:

Begin the prayer with: O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me. Glory be to the Father…, etc.

By the intercession of St. Michael and the celestial Choir of Powers may the Lord protect our souls against the snares and temptations of the devil. Amen.

[Say one Our Father and three Hail Marys after your intentions for the protection of your soul.]

To say the entire Chaplet, click here:
Chaplet of St. Michael

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to St. Michael the Archangel, Day 4

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On this fourth day of the Novena, the petition is for us to increase our self-control, specifically “to govern our senses and overcome any unruly passions.”

“What goes in, must come out.” To govern our senses requires discipline and a certain amount of detachment. Not easy, considering the World’s constant attempts to shove garbage in our faces. From foul music to immoral fashions, television programs and movies, there is a lot of stuff out there paving the pathways to Hell.

We can avoid “people, places and things” as much as we can to help ourselves. Not all of us can become hermits and completely block out the World. We can seek to limit our exposure as much as possible. We can train ourselves to “see, but not notice” when presented with objectionable material. You seen someone with immoral attire, you look away. You ignore objectionable music (it’s “just noise.” It isn’t perfect, but it helps.

We train ourselves to filter it all out.

Now, to the Novena:

Begin the prayer with: O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me. Glory be to the Father…, etc.

By the intercession of St. Michael and the celestial Choir of Dominions may the Lord give us grace to govern our senses and overcome any unruly passions. Amen.

[Say one Our Father and three Hail Marys after your intentions concerning where you may be lacking in self-control.]

To say the entire Chaplet, click here:
Chaplet of St. Michael

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to St. Michael the Archangel, Day 2

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On this second day of the Novena, the petition is for us to spiritually progress and grow in holiness.

We cannot resist sin and temptation on our own efforts. We may have moderate success, but our own wills can carry us only so far. We need the grace of God and our own cooperation with that grace (our humble admission of our weakness and inability and subsequent surrender to God’s will) to resist sin and temptation.

We can leave the pathways of sin and grow in holiness by prayer, meditation and examining our consciences and our daily actions. We then take it to Confession and strive to “do better.”

We never give up. Despite repeated falls, we continually get up resolve to continue to trudge our road of happy destiny.

Now, to the Novena:

Begin the prayer with: O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me. Glory be to the Father…, etc.

By the intercession of St. Michael and the celestial Choir of Cherubim may the Lord grant us the grace to leave the ways of sin and run in the paths of Christian perfection. Amen.

[Say one Our Father and three Hail Marys after your intentions concerning where you may be persistent in sin.]

To say the entire Chaplet, click here:
Chaplet of St. Michael

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to St. Michael the Archangel, Day 1

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On this first day of the Novena, the petition is for us to increase our charity.

Where are you lacking in charity? Charity means more than merely dropping a few coins or bills in the collection plate at Mass or writing a check for some missionary organization doing God’s work overseas.

It also is empathizing with other people, with trying to see them not as merely external objects within your vision, but as persons like yourself with thoughts, feelings and sufferings.

You have no certain idea as to what is going on within a person. Rather than being quick to judge that person for what they are doing, empathize and put yourself in their place. From that vantage point you may still admonish them for an action, but in trying to feel as they do, to realize that you are seeing them at a snapshot in their life journey, you may soften your admonishment with the sweetness of charity. Much more can be accomplished in converting hearts and minds.

Now, to the Novena:

Begin the prayer with: O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me. Glory be to the Father…, etc.

By the intercession of St. Michael and the celestial Choir of Seraphim may the Lord make us worthy to burn with the fire of perfect charity. Amen.

[Say one Our Father and three Hail Marys after your intentions concerning where you may be negligent in charity.]

To say the entire Chaplet, click here:
Chaplet of St. Michael

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Gratitude: Wanting what you have

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One of my least favorite 12 Step meeting topics is “gratitude”. Not that I am not grateful for anything in sobriety, for I have plenty to be grateful for. My main issue whenever this topic is brought up is that quite often the attendees just launch into a list of the things they are grateful for. Much of it is common to all even when the sharer does personalize it with special items. Nevertheless, such “gratitude” listings are boring (to me) and miss the point.

First, the idea that anyone needs to hear something about gratitude. Does this person feel a nostalgia for the days of drinking? Are they taking their sober life for granted and therefore need to be reminded of what can be lost if they do return? Do they not see very well the things around them that they have attained as a result of their sobriety? Do they just want to boast about their sobriety (“Oh, look at me, see how much I’VE got!”)

Someone at a 12-Step meeting with the topic of gratitude I attended long ago introduced something besides a list of what he was grateful for. He mentioned something along the lines of gratitude as being an attitude. He concluded with the notion that gratitude simply means that you want what you already have.

We alcoholics have an impatient streak. Even after a sustained period of sobriety we sometimes fall back into the “I want what I want and I want it now” attitude. We are impatient with what we already have and seek to attain or achieve something else that would make us better or happier. Just like back in the days of our drinking we needed “just one more”, what we have now is not enough and we seek something more to satisfy a hole in our soul.

“Wanting what you already have” is a great way of humbly accepting that which has come into your life and genuinely appreciating it. It is also an excellent way of living a moderate life and not a life driven to excess and conspicuous consumption. In other words, greed.

Sometimes the words “and thanking God for it” are added to the definition of gratitude. “Gratitude means wanting what you already have and thanking God for it.” A nice reminder as from where all good things come from, and to Whom we owe our sobriety to.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Treating addictions as if they were a bad habit

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I chanced upon an interesting article that proposes a relatively “easy” take on beating addictions:

You Don’t Need Help to Beat an Addiction or a Bad Habit—Just Yourself

(Via Lifehacker.)

The central premise of this idea is contained in the article’s third paragraph, which basically treats addictions like they are bad habits, and you have to recognize the immediate bad effects they are having on your life.

The notion is related to ideas that addictions are not a disease or genetic disorder, such as mentioned here: Alcoholism is not a Disease and here: Myth of an ‘Addict Gene’ (Courtesy of Addiction Info.)

First, you have to realize that whatever the addiction is, it is causing you problems. Then you have to consider all the bad effects that the addiction is having on your life, right now. This is key, according to the article. It is easier to consider the immediate now rather than the long term later. This is understood by all addicts and alcoholics, “we want what we want, and we want it now.”

Once you realize the bad effects that the addiction is having on your life, focus and amplify those bad feelings, and eventually your behavior will change. Sort of like do-it-yourself aversion therapy.

Nice, in theory.

In short, to a serious addict this may sound like: “My drinking is bad. Really bad. It is messing up my life, my home life is being ruined by it, I’m about to lose my job, and losing all this will destroy me. OK, so if I focus on these bad feelings of losing all this stuff, I will start to prefer the things I am about to lose, and be less interested in drinking.” I am thinking that a person who is seriously in the grips of an addiction will find it difficult to follow along that line of rational thought.

Addicts generally feel that their addiction is helping them to cope with their problems, and only after much suffering and loss might they come around to the idea that their addiction is the source. By this time their mind and will is so affected by the addiction that it might prove difficult to realize the truth of their problem’s cause. The immediate gratification effect of drinking or using again may prove easier than mentally contemplating how this “habit” is destroying their life. Doing that may just generate more internal conflict: “I want a drink” combined with “No, this is bad, it is costing me such and such” may just yield a desire to drink again to ease the pain. The idea also assumes that the addict must seriously believe that the addiction is worse than their daily living activities. There may be a preference for the addiction versus the healthy life, if they feel that their healthy life has little value.

Support groups organized to reinforce this thinking that the immediate effect is bad could assist as I doubt that any serious addict could accomplish this on their own.

There is merit in the idea. It is an excellent way to avert sinful behavior. We all vow to have a “firm purpose of amendment” when we go to Confession. This idea sounds reminiscent of aids to maintaining virtue as proposed by various saints. Be vigilant on the destructive nature of sin, as it applies to your life now.

Anyway, it is something to mull over.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)