With my whole heart, I have sought you

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Psalm 119: 9-17 “By what does an adolescent correct his way? By keeping to your words.
With my whole heart, I have sought you. Do not let me be driven away from your commandments.
I have hidden your eloquence in my heart, so that I may not sin against you.
Blessed are you, O Lord. Teach me your justifications.
With my lips, I have pronounced all the judgments of your mouth.
I have been delighted in the way of your testimonies, as if in all riches.
I will be trained in your commandments, and I will consider your ways.
I will meditate on your justifications. I will not forget your words.”

The composer of the 119th Psalm continues the theme of the first 8 verses, that of seeking the Lord with the whole heart and equating purity and holiness with following the Commandments.

This is yet another example of how this Psalm is a good one to know for those of us in recovery. “I have hidden your eloquence in my heart, so that I may not sin against you,” shows that interior conversion helps one abstain from sin. The Twelve Steps are an excellent method to kickstart conversion, but when combined with a desire to know God through His sacred teachings, how much sweeter will recovery be!

Furthermore, the Psalmist declares that he will not keep silent, that not only does he desire the Lord to impart His ways, but that such things are a delight and will be shared with others.

This entire section is a good lesson in the desire to know God’s will, to learn God’s teachings and the joy of following the Commandments. All because they keep you on the righteous path (as well as armament against relapse).

NOTE: This is Psalm 119 in most Catholic Bibles based on the Latin Vulgate, it is Psalm 118 in Bibles based on the Greek Septuagint.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Blessed are they who walk in the law of the Lord

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Psalm 119:1-8 Blessed are the immaculate in the way, who walk in the law of the Lord.
Blessed are those who examine his testimonies. They seek him with their whole heart.
For those who work iniquity have not walked in his ways.
You have ordered your commandments to be kept most diligently.
I wish that my ways may be directed so as to keep your justifications.
Then I will not be confounded, when I will look into all your commandments.
I will confess to you with honesty of heart. In this way, I have learned the judgments of your justice.
I will keep your justifications. Do not utterly abandon me.

This is a humble, honest prayer by a penitent beseeching the Lord’s guidance and will. They know that those who seek to follow the Lord’s Commandments will have a difficult time, as with anything that must be “kept most diligently.” But in doing so, the pray-er finds great reward in holiness and blessedness.

This prayer is a good one to use by those of us in recovery, regardless of how long we have trudged the road. Discerning God’s will is not easy, and the psalmist asks the Lord for assistance in doing so (“I wish that my ways …”).

The penitent knows that following the Lord’s path is a way that will give great help in fighting impurity and sin (“For those who work iniquity…”) If you refrain from sinning, you are walking in the Lord’s ways. So, trying to follow the Commandments helps in the struggle against sin.

The psalmist knows that after sinning, greater humility will result from confessing. At least, that is how I interpret the verse, “I will confess to you with honesty of heart. In this way, I have learned the judgments of your justice.” In your honest and humble examination of conscience, you learn what sins you have committed. Upon taking these sinful acts and comparing them to the Commandments, you may develop a greater understanding of them and gain greater ability to amend your life. Why do I persist in doing thus and so? You sin, you make an honest confession, the penance humbles you and in humility you gain a greater awareness of God’s will in your life and how to cooperate with it (“I will not be confounded…”).

Finally, a promise to keep to the Lord’s path is combined with a plea for God to not abandon the penitent, for it is known that only with God’s grace can we keep to a pure and holy life. We cannot do it by our own efforts.

NOTE: This is Psalm 119 in most Catholic Bibles based on the Latin Vulgate, it is Psalm 118 in Bibles based on the Greek Septuagint.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Feast of St. Augustine of Hippo

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Today is the Feast of St. Augustine of Hippo. To quote from this excellent article on him:St. Augustine of Hippo: “St. Augustine of Hippo is the patron of brewers because of his conversion from a former life of loose living, which included parties, entertainment, and worldly ambitions. His complete turnaround and conversion has been an inspiration to many who struggle with a particular vice or habit they long to break. ”

(Via Catholic Online.)

Although he is the “patron saint of brewers,” I thought I’d post this today as St. Augustine is a remarkable story of conversion from a life of drunkenness and debauchery, things many can relate to 😉

He is an inspiration, and at the ready to intercede for anyone struggling with addictions of any kind, especially sex and porn, as well as though particularly struggling with the allurements of the World and its false promises.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Death and Acceptance

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Reblogged from The Four Last Things:

I attended an AA meeting today for the first time in who knows how long. I had intended to go to Confession, but I ran into the priest and he told me that it was cancelled for today. Some diocesan shindig. I knew the parish hosted an AA meeting at the same time and so I figured, “What the heck? I’ll check it out.”

The topic was death and acceptance.

I didn’t share as I’m usually reticent about doing so. Fear of speaking at AA meetings go ‘way back. I do when I can offer something. I should have today, but was nervous as I had never been to this meeting before.

What I would have said, had I bothered to was something like this:

“Taking death and acceptance, and putting it into our recovery, all I can say is that we’ve already died once. Our old practicing alcoholic selves died when we entered the program and achieved a lasting sobriety. We’ve been reborn, in a way, when we got that sobriety and learned a bit about the Steps.

I think the book “Daily Reflections” has a reading from (I think June) which says something about how we alcoholics are fortunate to have lived two lifetimes in one life. There’s the life we lived as drunks, and now our new one as sober alcoholics.

All we have to do is “keep our side of the street clean” against the eventuality of our own death.”

Not bad. But it was enough to conquer the fear of attending a meeting for the first time, much less expecting me to talk. What I said was hinted at anyway by some other speakers, so really no big deal.

Maybe next time.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hope and Perseverance

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In light of yesterday’s Giving Glory to God post, I’m dusting off a draft that is related to it.

“Hope and Perseverance,” are two things that I can at least grab onto as things I do not lack. Despite this or that excuse or circumstance or “whatever,” every night when I go to bed I think of what I have done and what I have failed to do, and when dwelling upon the latter, I resolve to do better.

Every night, every day.

The “amount” of hope and perseverance may vary at time. Often I just feel like saying “to heck with it,” but the feeling never lasts.

I think that if I wake up every morning, God is giving me another chance at setting right whatever I failed to do the previous day.

In a way, this is like the 12 Step slogan, “Never give up five minutes before the miracle occurs.” This is with regard to finally “getting” sobriety of the 12 Step Program, but I think it applies to other things that you are yearning for: Do not quit, never give up, keep on at least TRYING to do whatever it is that you think God placed you on this Earth for. Eventually things may sort themselves out and become clearer and you’ll see the path to where you’re going, if not the actual results.

Keep on keepin’ on, people.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Giving Glory to God

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During my meditations this morning I decided to wander about outside and ponder things. One of the things I mused upon was my whole life in general. Basically, where I’m at versus where I’d rather be, and why there’s a chasm in between. Simple stuff. Part of this is because today is the Feast of the Transfiguration of Our Lord, and the beginning of what I’ve come to annually call Second Lent.

As usual in these situations, which occur frequently every few months over the past twenty-five years or so, I get rather deep and prying and this morning was no different. And as I often do during these times, I ponder my writing career or lack thereof. My blogging efforts have been added to the mix; it seems there’s no end to the list of things I think I’m lacking diligence and dedication in. 😉

I came to the conclusion, or realization, that despite whatever I may say otherwise, whatever my stated intentions, I do all of this writing and blogging for me. Me, me, wonderful me. The fiction writing, yes, that can be partially selfish inasmuch I’ve adopted the theory of writing-as-therapy. But any writing talent that I have is God-given and I should really be doing it for His greater glory. Same for this Sober Catholic blog and the online recovery stuff.

But no, I did some soul-searching and I honestly think I do it for recognition. I’ve gotten some, but nothing to really boost the ego to atmospheric proportions. Still, “Look at me!”

That shouldn’t be. We Catholics (all Christians, really) are supposed to be humble in considering our God-given talents and to use them to give glory to God as well as being of use to others.

So, using the skills or training that I learned in recovery, I am going to try to reorient and retrain my thinking and attitude. It is a recovery exercise after all. Humility is a tool that is essential to maintaining one’s sobriety. Selfishness is not conducive to good sobriety. Although I’m not in danger of a relapse, the added precaution is not a bad thing.

How? By sticking to a routine each morning of daily prayer first. Too often I stray away from it and justify it by thinking that my brain is too foggy to really concentrate on the Divine Office. I could say the Rosary and Chaplet of Divine Mercy, first. Brain is sufficiently awakened afterwards! If the first thing I do upon awakening is to put God first, I am victorious in my first battle of the day. I can build upon that.

Also, just recognizing the red flags of pride. Recognizing the “red flags” of some character defects was the first clue I had that 12 Step recovery was working some positive affects in my life, wayback when. I trained myself to recognize the tell-tale signs of anger, hostility, impatience, or whatever, as they were starting to erupt, and thus was able to quell them. I am not perfect, but I’m way less angry and impatient than I was back in the day. “OH, YEAH, WHAT’S THAT? YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME??? WHY I OUGHTA….” Oh, heh-heh. 😉 Thinking that “Oh, I should blog today!” as if that of itself is important. Sure, it may be to a number of people. I have received numerous emails over the years from people expressing gratitude for Sober Catholic. But honestly, and this may sound strange, but in doing it for me (at least subconsciously thinking that, and occasionally consciously thinking it), I thereby reserve the “right” not to bother with it. Hence, my not blogging as often as I should. Or writing my fiction as often as I should.

(This may connect with my relationship with Jesus that I discovered a year ago that is lacking in actual substance. It is a blogpost long overdue, so perhaps I’ll set about myself and correct it.)

And so I think I can apply the same concepts to redirecting my attitude towards my blogging and fiction writing. Personal therapy, sure; feelings of satisfaction, fine; but ultimately the first reason for writing or blogging has to be to give glory to Him who made me and who gave me whatever talent I have, and whatever mission I was assigned.

It may instill a better sense of personal responsibility. Since we are to “…seek first the kingdom of God and his justice, and all these things shall be added to you as well,” this sense of personal responsibility will engender a greater faith in Divine Providence, as “these things” are basic living needs. But also, this strengthens our partnership with God. Our relationship with Him flows both ways. We seek Him and give glory to Him in our works, He provides for us in ways we may not see right away. He didn’t need to create us, but did so anyway as He is Love, and Love creates. Love needs something else to love. It cannot be directed to the self. Self-directed love is self-absorption and destructive (“destructive” being the opposite of “creative”). So, we do things not for ourselves, but for others. That we may also benefit is a side point. So, doing this for Him, is doing it out of love. Not a selfish love, but one that is outward-directed. Creative!

The resulting creative-ness builds upon itself as there is inherent joy in doing good for others, if that doing good is the happy consequence of faith. Sort of like the Scriptural mandate that “works alone” do not suffice so that we may not boast of them and think we can merit Heaven on our own.

I think I am starting to wander off-topic and so I’ll close for now.

(Incidentally that passage, “Seek first the kingdom…” from Mathew 6:33 was one of the names I was thinking of for this blog, back in 2007. Turns out it had been taken many times by other bloggers. I don’t think any were Catholic.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Second Lent” is upon us again!

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“Second Lent” is upon us again!”

For the past few years I have been announcing what I like to call “Second Lent,” an highly unadvertised and unannounced additional penitential period that the Church offers. It begins on the Feast of the Transfiguration (August 6th) and end on the Feast of the Exaltation (or Triumph) of the Cross on September 15th.

The link in the first sentence takes you to an earlier blogpost that talks about it more; that post itself has links about ANOTHER penitential period that is a Franciscan devotion, known as “St. Michael’s Lent.”

I love the Church. She gives us so many opportunities to find our way down the narrow path.

So, as always, if your regular Lent wasn’t satisfying, you have TWO opportunities coming to make up for it!

I plan to blog a lot through Psalm 119. Not sure how successful I’ll be, but that is the plan.

 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Twelve Step Online Video Conference Meetings

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A while back on the Yahoo version of the MTW, there was discussion about online video conference meetings. That never went anywhere. The few times I tried to join where it was being hosted, the software/website crashed, and from what I gather, this happened on occasion.

The site in question is now partnering with a large, online recovery site, called “In the Rooms.” ITR has had online video meetings scheduled at various times throughout the day and week.

If anyone wished to join, ITR can be found here: In the Rooms . Go there, sign up if you’re not a member already, and see the VIDEO MEETINGS link near the top. That will take you to the schedule.

If you are (or will be) a member, kindly send me a friend request. My profile is found here: My Profile on ITR . Just let me know you’re coming from the MTW.

Incidentally, I was thinking of starting a branch of the MTW way there, just like the recent (and seemingly well-received) attempts on Facebook and Google+. I’ll think about it… Many of my friends there are Catholics, so there may be an audience!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Matt Talbot Way of Recovery on Facebook and Google+

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I have been running the Matt Talbot Way of Recovery email discussion group on Yahoo since December 2011, and like past endeavors of mine to establish a Catholic-based recovery discussion community, it has its busy times and ghost-town echo chamber times. I am debating on whether or not to shut it down. Since it is hardly used, it would be one less thing for me to keep track of. If it was busy, and had other moderators, I’d be keeping it around. So…

There are no immediate plans to do either, but as a way of transitioning to something new, I have done two things: revive the Matt Talbot Way of Recovery on Google+ by soliciting assistance (and getting it!!!!) and inviting people to join; and create a Matt Talbot Way of Recovery Group on Facebook.

There are differences between the two, and these reflect some differences between Facebook and Google+. The Facebook Group is “Secret,” meaning that you cannot find it in Facebook Search, nor can access it via the URL. Only members can see it and see what is posted in it. I decided to create it as a Secret Group as the alternatives may be too “privacy-invasive” and anonymity-threatening to some people. A “Closed” Facebook Group, for example, is searchable and findable by non-members, and non-members can see who is in it. Still, a threat to anonymity as people on Facebook associate with family, friends and co-workers and may still not want the current or past addiction known. So, if you’re on Facebook and would like to join, your alcoholism would still be kept secret from anyone else.

In order to be a member of the Facebook Group, you have to be added to it by an owner/moderator. So far, that is just me, and for me to add you, you have to be my Friend on Facebook. Here I am on Facebook and after getting there, send me a Friend request along with a message as to why you’re befriending me.

The Matt Talbot Way of Recovery on Google+ is a “Private” Community, meaning it is searchable and findable by people looking for such a thing, but non-members cannot see who is in it, nor what is posted there. I tested this by asking my wife to look for it. She found it, but just saw Matt’s picture and the Community name, with an “Ask to Join” button for prospective members to click on.

In order to be a member of the Google+ Community, go here: Matt Talbot Way of Recovery on Google+. Click on the “Ask to Join” button and you’ll be approved (or maybe not 😉 ) by myself or the other guy who moderates it.

Why possibly kill off the Yahoo Group only to create the MTW on FB and G+? I spend a lot of time on the two social networks and it is easier for me to keep an eye on them and participate. If the MTW on these nets follows the path of previous endeavors, I am less likely to shut it down for lack of use. Unless I abandon G+ and FB (unlikely), as long as I am a member, the MTW will remain alive there.

New requests to join the MTW on Yahoo may be met with requests to just join it on FB and/or G+.

If you’re a new member of the MTW on Facebook or Google+, I can use moderating (and promoting) help!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Sacred Heart and Alcoholism

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Barefoot’s World had a piece on how Sr. Ignatia created the “Sacred Heart Badge” for those admitted to St. Thomas Hospital as an incentive to maintain their recovery and as a “merit badge” to show their progress. Number 9 wrote about it earlier, also quoting the same source: Sacred Heart Badge (the 1st white chip).

The Sacred Heart is an old Catholic devotion dating back centuries. It focuses on the human nature of Jesus (the heart long being considered the center or source of human emotion). As Jesus had become human to redeem us for our sins, devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus concerns the Divine Love of God for us, and our response to that is our reparation for our sins. We sin, we repent and we make reparation.

In light of this, that the Sacred Heart was chosen as a symbol of recovery is not surprising. In our recovery, we are making reparation for the sins we had committed in our addictions. And in our recovery, we accept and respond to the love God has for us. We know we messed up and abused the gifts that God gave to us. But despite all of that, He still loves us as His prodigal children and always takes us back no matter how bad our sins. As long as we repent and try to amend our lives we are on the right path.

No sin is greater than God’s ability to forgive. Our repentance has to be sincere, and we have to make a best effort at amending. But no matter how evil, we can be forgiven. No matter how often we fall, we get right back up.

I wrote this as Friday is the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

(Via About Catholicism.)

Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

(Via CATHOLIC ENCYCLOPEDIA.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)