Category Archives: Suicide

Agony in the Garden

Posted on by

We all experience our own Garden of Gethsemane:

Matthew 26:36-42: “Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’

He took along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to feel sorrow and distress.

Then he said to them, ‘My soul is sorrowful even to death. Remain here and keep watch with me.’

He advanced a little and fell prostrate in prayer, saying, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will.’

When he returned to his disciples he found them asleep. He said to Peter, ‘So you could not keep watch with me for one hour?

Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’

Withdrawing a second time, he prayed again, ‘My Father, if it is not possible that this cup pass without my drinking it, your will be done!'”

(Via USCCB.)

We can only imagine the suffering that goes into “My soul is sorrowful even to death.” And this is Jesus who is going through this pain, on the eve of His Crucifixion and death.

Our wills resist doing what needs to be done if it involves the least amount of pain and anguish. Our trials come and we feel so alone during them. We beg and pray that God would relieve us of the burden. Even when we have someone to share the pain with, the sorrow over enduring the trial is like a shadow enveloping us. The burden might be eased, but the trial of enduring still darkens our soul.

I am currently undergoing a trial at my day job. I cannot go into details but it keeps dragging on, seemingly without end, although it has only been a few weeks.

One thing that I have noticed more during this period than I have in previous trials in my life is the work of grace in my soul, and the mercy of God. I cannot explain, but whereas in the past I would be seriously stressing out, I am not so much now. Quite a lot has to do with my lovely wife’s support and her deep and abiding faith, but there have been other things coinciding during this time. It is almost as if God is telling me that He knew all along that this would be happening (of course He does, being omniscient) and has arranged certain things to help me not only cope, but spiritually grow and strengthen during this period.

Perhaps this all doesn’t make much sense as I have not written about what is happening. There will be a few blogposts coming up that will relate some of the “spiritual” events that have happened that have given me courage. And perhaps you, as well. For we are truly not alone when we suffer trials. Jesus is there awaiting our prayers. While we might not have the burdens lifted, we can know that He is there, shepherding us through (if we see with the eyes of faith).

Suffering is hardly ever desired (an understatement if there ever was one), but with a strong faith and friends to assist, people can learn and emerge stronger for it. It is a natural part of human existence. If that is accepted then perhaps it can actually bear fruit in one’s life.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to the Immaculate Conception for Alcoholics: Day 3

Posted on by

Pray daily: O God, who by the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, didst prepare a worthy dwelling place for thy Son, we beseech thee that, as by the foreseen death of this, thy Son, thou didst preserve her from all stain, so too thou wouldst permit us, purified through her intercession, to come unto thee. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, thy Son, who livest and reignest with thee in the unity of the Holy Ghost, God, world without end. Amen.

Day Three Intentions: Pray for those who are feeling that their addiction is too strong, that they need an immediate end to their suffering and sobriety is unattainable. Pray for those considering suicide.

Conclude daily: O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to you, those who do not have recourse to you, enemies of the Holy Catholic Church, and all those recommended to you. Amen.

We ask all this in the Name of Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Saviour. Amen

Background for this post is right here.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Resolution: One Day at a Time

Posted on by

As we begin a new year soon, we are often reminded of the popular cultural custom of making resolutions for the rest of the year. Always intended to be a means for self-improvement, they are ultimately self-defeating. We more often than not fail to maintain our resolve for a new and better self because we do not have the endurance or discipline necessary to think in terms of an entire year.

And so as we learn in our recovery program, mostly 12 Step ones, that we must take things “one day at a time.” We can more easily comprehend the next 24 hours, or at least the stretch of hours until bedtime, than we can the next 365 days.

And therefore this is what we do. “Today I will not worry. I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.” Jesus says in Scripture:

Matthew 6:34: “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”

(Via USCCB.)

Some things we remove from our options in dealing with others. Big things like drinking, murder, assault and rape. With regard to the rest: Have faith in the Lord. He will carry you through this day and the next. He did not bring you this far only to cast you aside before the race is over.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Person of Destiny

Posted on by

There is an article from Spirit Daily that I encourage you to read.

An excerpt explains it better:

“You are a person of destiny. You are destined for Heaven. You are destined to be the best you can be.

You are also unique. Period. Your greatness is not worldly greatness.

And so your soul bears God’s secret imprint.”

Read the rest via Spirit Daily.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

From the womb He had a plan for you

Posted on by

The First Reading from the Mass for Tuesday of Holy Week reminds us of how special we are to God. Pay special attention to the part italicized:

Isaiah 49:1-6: “Hear me, O islands, listen, O distant peoples. The Lord called me from birth, from my mother’s womb he gave me my name. He made of me a sharp-edged sword and concealed me in the shadow of his arm. He made me a polished arrow, in his quiver he hid me. You are my servant, he said to me, Israel, through whom I show my glory. Though I thought I had toiled in vain, and for nothing, uselessly, spent my strength, Yet my reward is with the Lord, my recompense is with my God. For now the Lord has spoken who formed me as his servant from the womb, That Jacob may be brought back to him and Israel gathered to him; And I am made glorious in the sight of the Lord, and my God is now my strength! It is too little, he says, for you to be my servant, to raise up the tribes of Jacob, and restore the survivors of Israel; I will make you a light to the nations, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth.”

(Via USCCB.)

“How special” may be an understatement. We are not just a random collection of atoms, molecules and chemicals. God has a plan for each of us that started with our conception in the womb.

We are precious in God’s sight. Each life, from conception to natural death, is sacred. You were meant for more than just not drinking or attending 12 Step meetings. Make a difference, based on your God-given skills and talents, and don’t care what others think.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Bruised reeds and smoldering wicks

Posted on by

The First Reading from the Mass for Monday of Holy Week is one of my favorites:

Isaiah 42:3: “A bruised reed he shall not break, and a smoldering wick he shall not quench…”

Via USCCB.)

It reminds me of us alcoholics and addicts in our times of suffering and eventual recovery.

I had written about this passage before: Bruised reeds…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Read this and know that Jesus understands pain

Posted on by

Today is Palm Sunday. This excerpt from the Gospel is an astounding insight into Jesus’ humanity:

Mark 14:34: “My soul is sorrowful even to death”

(Via USCCB.)

Jesus, the Son of God, was sorrowful. This is an immense revelation, that God can be, and was sorrowful. Sorrowful to the point of death.

Remember this next time you are at an extreme loss, the next time you are at the brink of despair. Especially when someone tells you to “unite your sufferings to Christ”, which seems so abstract, so unreal.

Spend some time with you Bible today. Re-read the Gospel accounts of the Passion. Particularly turn to Mark and dwell on this passage. Mull it over and pray on it.

Know that Jesus is aware and feels the pain you feel.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Seized with mortal anguish

Posted on by

In the First Reading from the Daily Mass for the Thursday of the First Week of Lent, Queen Esther was gripped with mortal anxiety over the impending genocide of the Hebrew nation. She prayed to God.

Esther C: 12,14-16,23-25: “Queen Esther, seized with mortal anguish,
had recourse to the LORD.
She lay prostrate upon the ground, together with her handmaids,
from morning until evening, and said:
‘God of Abraham, God of Isaac, and God of Jacob, blessed are you.
Help me, who am alone and have no help but you,
for I am taking my life in my hand.
As a child I used to hear from the books of my forefathers
that you, O LORD, always free those who are pleasing to you.
Now help me, who am alone and have no one but you,
O LORD, my God.

‘And now, come to help me, an orphan.
Put in my mouth persuasive words in the presence of the lion
and turn his heart to hatred for our enemy,
so that he and those who are in league with him may perish.
Save us from the hand of our enemies;
turn our mourning into gladness
and our sorrows into wholeness.’ “

(Via USCCB.)

The idea of being “seized with mortal anguish” is familiar to any alcoholic and addict. When we’ve “hit bottom” and have lost important things and wonder if losing our life is next, or during sobriety when we’ve received several shocks to our lives and that sobriety is threatened, “aloneness” grips us and we feel there is no one out there, perhaps not even God, who cares.

Esther was in that position, but she remembered the religion of her youth and what it taught her. She had recourse to the Lord and sought His help.

Within the excerpt from today’s Mass reading, I emboldened a few phrases. From these we can construct a prayer for alcoholics and addicts who have hit bottom, or are going through severely trying times:

O Lord, my soul is seized with mortal fear,
I have recourse only to you.

Help me, who am alone and have no help but you,
for I am taking my life in my hand.

Take my mourning and turn it into gladness
and my sorrows into wholeness.’

Now help me, who am alone and have no one but you,
O LORD, my God.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

To suffer with

Posted on by

According to the Oxford American Dictionary that is installed on my Mac, the word compassion means:

compassion |kəmˈpa sh ən| noun
sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others : the victims should be treated with compassion.

ORIGIN Middle English : via Old French from ecclesiastical Latin compassio(n-), from compati ‘suffer with.’

Take note of the origin of the word: “to suffer with”.

We suffer. We are all wounded and broken in some way. For you reading this blog and the others on the recovery and conversion blogrolls, you understand this. You wouldn’t be here unless you’ve been wounded and hurt in your past. Whether it is by others or most likely yourself (because of your addictions), you know suffering.

To me, it doesn’t matter whether the suffering is self-inflicted or bestowed upon you by others, suffering is suffering.

Suffering tends to isolate us. We think we are alone and this is reinforced by the resistance of others to be near us when we hurt. It sometimes feels as if we are like the lepers of old who had to wear signs identifying them as “unclean”, and thus to be avoided. Sometimes we push people away when we hurt as if contact with others will increase our pain. “Leave me alone” we shout, either with words or a “keep away, keep far away” attitude and demeanor.

We are Christians and as such we are taught by Jesus that we must accept suffering.

Matthew 16:24-25: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

(Via USCCB.)

This does not necessarily mean that we are just to deal with our own suffering. We must also bear one another’s burdens.

Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

(Via USCCB.)

Just as others are resistant to bear our burdens when we hurt, we are sometimes just as guilty when we see others hurting. We do not wish to be burned by whatever is afflicting them, or we are too distracted by our own concerns, or we selfishly prefer our own distractions and do not see and reach out when we can.

This takes us away from others and we become self-absorbed. We get carried away in our own interests and situations. We leave other people to their own suffering and we do not suffer with them. We lack compassion. We temporarily lack the ability to suffer with others. I say “temporarily” because if you possess a well-formed conscience you eventually notice this and wonder what is disturbing you. You discover that you have become too caught up in yourself and there is a world out there, or maybe just a small group of people that you work with or are related to who have been caught up in troubles of their own and have needed you. At least some small attention by you.

So you pick yourself up and resolve to do better. You try to sense what is going on in the lives of others and to tend to them. You hopefully consign your bout of self-absorption to the past (knowing it’ll return from time to time as we are sinners) and allow the experience to sensitize you to other people’s pain.

I chose that word carefully, sensitize. For in the cacophony of the World, we are oftentimes desensitized to other people’s sufferings. There’s just so much and we become numb to it all. And as we are addicts and alcoholics, we indulge ourselves in some distraction that fills us up. We may even rationalize the distraction as being something beneficial to us in the long run, calling it an “experience” or a mental health escape. This is all good, if it can be useful to others down the road.

As long as we remain focused on what is essential, that being:

Matthew 6:33: “…seek first the kingdom (of God)…“

(Via USCCB.)</p

This is New Year’s Day, 2009. We are all “supposed” to make resolutions for the year. In one of my other blogs I write about that: Resolution: One Day at a Time

(Via Trudging Paulcoholic’s Road.)

This may be one resolution that we might be capable of keeping the entire year, if we renew ourselves through prayer and meditation. That is: to try to stay attuned to the suffering that is about us, and to reach out and help in whatever manner we are able.

See you often throughout the year, both here and over at Catholics in Recovery .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Healing Rosary

Posted on by

There is another interesting article from Spirit Daily entitled: “MYSTERIES OF YOUR LIFE CAN BE REVEALED AND HEALED THROUGH MYSTERIES OF ROSARY”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

I encourage you to read it and ponder.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)