Category Archives: Virtue

Take up the cross, and follow me

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The Gospel reading for today’s Mass for the Friday of the Sixth Week in Ordinary Time is an appropriate one for a Friday, given the day’s significance as the day Jesus suffered and died.

Mark 8:34-37 “And calling together the crowd with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone chooses to follow me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

For whoever will have chosen to save his life, will lose it. But whoever will have lost his life, for my sake and for the Gospel, shall save it. For how does it benefit a man, if he gains the whole world, and yet causes harm to his soul?

Or, what will a man give in exchange for his soul?”

(Via Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version)

A key line in the Gospel excerpt, “If anyone chooses to follow me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” is the crux of recovery with a Catholic perspective. In drinking and drugging, or even just making daily choices and preferring our will to His, we refuse the Cross.

Taking up the Cross is in opposition to our own selfish desires as expressed in our self-will. Our instinct for self-preservation insists that we pick “self” first; the pain of the Cross goes against this. And part of the “contradiction of the Cross” is that we reject the self, we “deny ourselves” in order to be saved. In denying ourselves, we have to trust in Jesus.

And so we make a choice. We choose to follow Jesus, “The Way, the Truth and the Life,” deny ourselves and reject addiction. This becomes a cross as we naturally suffer without our addiction. (That we were suffering with it is obvious, but we typically focus on how it “helped” us cope.) We are denying our preferences, our “crutches” and our need to fulfill our base desires. Our mind and body scream, “Give us the drink!” But we reply, “No.”

And so we follow Him: Jesus Christ, the Divine Physician. In choosing to save our life through Christ, we lose the old one. It was nailed to the Cross. We live now by the Gospel and if we persevere to the End will find ourselves reigning with Him and the saints for all eternity.

There is a trade-off. In keeping our addictions, we “gain the world,” or at least our fantasized version of it. But we lose our soul. We do not become the person God made us to be. That one is buried in the addiction. The other trade-off is clear: giving up the addiction we recover who we were meant to be.

This better “trade-off,” that of denying yourself and becoming a disciple of Christ, is essentially the method Matt Talbot chose. If you are a regular reader of SoberCatholic, you know who he is. If not, a short bio tells that he was an Irish drunk who tried several times to become sober after running out of money to buy himself liquor. His friends, for whom he loaned money for booze in the past, didn’t help him. Shocked at this betrayal of alcoholic solidarity and brotherhood Matt tried the “pledge” which worked for a while. He found continued sobriety only after he transferred his love for the drink onto Jesus. Matt lived a life of piety and devotion. He died sober. His Cause for Canonization is open and they’re just waiting on the requisite miracles. There are links in the sidebar to help you learn more; the best one is The Venerable Matt Talbot Resource Center.

Matt gave up the drink in exchange for his soul.

What will you give in exchange for your soul? That’s a daunting question. And not an easy one to answer for most people. It is the question that starts the conversion process. Even if you were not consciously aware of it, when you began your conversion process upon attaining sobriety you started to answer that question. And you continue to answer it every day you are sober and continue to learn and live your Catholic Faith.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The ‘Nineveh 90’ Challenge is almost here! You in?

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It’s almost here! One of the toughest spiritual challenges you might be facing outside of rigorous Lenten mortifications! And it begins next Monday the 13th of February! What is it, you ask? “We Sober Catholic readers are all about tough spiritual challenges! Tell us, Paulcoholic!!!”

It’s the “Nineveh 90 Challenge,” of course! I blogged about it before: Spiritual prepping for Fatima and 2017. That post has been updated a few times, please see it again if you were unawares.

Father Richard Heilman has a wealth of resources on his Roman Catholic Man website as well as the “go to” place: “Nineveh90” to assist you in your quest. If you’re on Facebook, there’s also a Group focusing on the Challenge: Special Forces Training. Members are posting links to other FB Groups that focus on regional meetups and the like.

If you are interested in doing this, please look at the above links for thorough information. I’m giving a “last-minute” heads up so that you can do whatever prayer and prepping you need to do before Monday.

I won’t be doing a few of the items on the ‘Ten Elements of the Challenge,’ namely the ‘rigorous exercise’ and the 33-day Consecration. Nor will I join the Angelic Warfare Confraternity (I’ll step up my resolve to say the “Chaplet of St. Michael the Archangel.”) A number of things I already do as a part of my daily prayer life. There’s a link to the AWC in my sidebar under “Porn Addiction Links.”

The fact that this overlaps Lent is of great significance!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Spiritual prepping for Fatima and 2017 UPDATED (AGAIN!)

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NOTE: Post updated AGAIN with a corrected link and additional items.

Calling Catholic men (and ladies, too!)

Fr. Richard Heilman of the Roman Catholic Man site has a challenge for you!

Quote: “Inspired by the excellent program, “Exodus 90,” and all of the research that reveals it takes 90 days to replace bad habits (even addictions) with good habits, I am calling upon all of us to enter into a 90 day period of humility and transformation I call “Nineveh 90,” leading up to the 100th Anniversary of Our Lady of Fatima on May 13, 2017.

Nineveh 90 is all about freedom. The goal is to achieve the freedom necessary to fully engage the love of God and the love of neighbor. Nineveh 90 is based on a challenging 90-day period of purification, a dying to self, which is supported by fellow soldiers in Christ for greater interior freedom and, eventually, a more purified and selfless love.”

Found here: Nineveh90 and the 100th Anniversary of Fatima

UPDATE: The plan now has its own site, see Nineveh90

The challenge begins February 13, 2017. I am considering doing this, with some personal modifications. I already do a number of the things listed. I may not bother with Items 9 and 10 (33 Days prep for Consecration and the actual Consecration) as I’ve already done that with my wife in 2008; also, I’m a member of the Militia of the Immaculata of St. Maximilian Kolbe, through which I consecrated myself to Mary on 7 Oct 2002. As an MI I renew my consecration daily, so I think that’s covered. I can perhaps substitute something else, such as studying St. Max’s writings and MI literature or Fatima books (both of which I have oodles of). I probably won’t do Item 5 (joining the Angelic Warfare Confraternity) as I may not be able to fulfill some of the requirements (logistics).

The basis for this lies in Fr. Heilman’s first paragraph: “We have now entered the 100th year since Our Lady appeared in Fatima, Portugal. The anniversary is May 13, 2017. Many people are wondering if God may do (or allow) something soon to “shake us up” (I wrote about it HERE – this is the most “shared” article I have ever written).”

Please read the article linked to with the word “HERE” in the previous paragraph. That explains more about the basis for this challenge and the need to become “Spiritual Preppers” soon. I’ve also hinted at year’s end that 2017 might be “interesting.” The roots of Western Civilization are becoming poisoned, the branches are cracking and things might becoming rougher for Christians, especially Catholics. This “Nineveh90” just might assist with your prepping…

Speaking of “prepping,” there’s this: PREPARING FOR NINEVEH 90.

Additional note, Fr. Heilman named St. Maximilian Kolbe as the patron saint of the Nineveh90! See: ST. MAXIMILIAN KOLBE – PATRON OF LAST DAYS BEFORE 100TH ANNIVERSARY OF FATIMA

There are additional posts at both the Nineveh90 and Roman Catholic Man sites
on the effort. Read them! Keep informed!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Happy New Year!

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Today is the First Sunday of Advent, the beginning of the Catholic Church’s liturgical year. Just like that secular New year when everyone makes resolutions or otherwise sees it as a time to “turn over a new leaf” or “start over,” we can also use the new Church year to start anew.

Become a better Catholic! Take advantage of the Sacraments! Go to Daily Mass (if you can), start going to Confession more often (like maybe once a month! Or more!) Know of Eucharistic Adoration at a parish somewhere near you? Then go and have a Holy Hour! Read the Cathechism of the Catholic Church and grow in your knowledge of the Faith! Read your Catholic Bible! According to St. Jerome, “Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ!”

There’s LOTS of things that you can do to grow spiritually! Tough times are possibly ahead for Catholics – deepening your knowledge of the Faith and strengthening your relationship with the Lord are ways to deal with whatever is coming down the road…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Maximilian Kolbe: martyr, patron of addicts, died 75 years ago today

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NOTE: This is an edited version of a post previously published to “Paul Sofranko’s Blog”

St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe was executed in the Nazi German concentration camp at Auschwitz seventy-five years ago today for being a Catholic priest.

He was a Conventual Franciscan friar and Guardian (leader, administrator) of Niepokalanow, then the world’s largest friary and a major Catholic media center. It is located some distance west of Warsaw, Poland.

He was canonized a saint by the Church in October 1982.

In late July 1941 a prisoner escaped and as was Nazi policy, ten men from that cell block were randomly selected to be sentenced to a starvation bunker until the escapee was found (dead or alive.) In reality, the ten condemned wouldn’t be released at all, regardless of the escapee’s status.

Death by starvation and dehydration is a very slow and very painful way to die. The ten were stripped naked and placed in a cell that measured three meters by three meters (that about 9 feet on a side.)

One of the ten was a Polish Army sergeant by the name of Franciszek Gajowniczek, who, upon being selected, wailed that he was a husband and father and bemoaned the fate of his family. Upon hearing this, Fr. Kolbe stepped out of line, went forward to the commander and offered to take the sergeant’s place.

The Nazi officer was duly astounded. Perhaps taken aback and confused by this act of selfless sacrifice, he accepted Kolbe’s offer and the Gajowniczek was excused. He survived the war.

Over the course of the next few weeks, the ten died, one-by-one. Every day an attendant would go into the cell to retrieve the dead.

Prison guards and camp survivors reported that while there would typically be sounds or rage and anger, of wailing and crying and begging, during the two weeks that Fr. Kolbe was imprisoned in the cell with the others, the sounds were quite different. Hymns were sung. Rosaries said. It was as if Fr. Kolbe had turned the bunker into a chapel. On August 14th, seeing that he was still alive, the Nazis got impatient that he wasn’t dying fast enough and had him injected with carbolic acid. For this reason, he is considered a patron saint of addicts.

When he volunteered to take the sergeant’s place, the Nazi asked Fr. Kolbe who he was. His answer?

“I am a Catholic priest.”

This was his identity, it was who he was. He died for being a priest; he died being a priest, ministering to his fellow condemned.

Week48IAmACatholicPriest

(Image via MI Canada)

Being a priest was enough to have him targeted by the Nazis; however there was more to him than that. For nearly twenty years he published “Knight of the Immaculata,” a monthly magazine dedicated to being the voice of the Militia of the Immaculata movement he founded in 1917 (more on that, later.) This publishing venture, begun in 1922, gradually expanded over the 1920s and ‘30s to include other periodicals and a daily newspaper. Circulation was amongst the largest in pre-WW2 Poland (and significant amongst global circulations, too.) Fr. Kolbe had already launched a shortwave radio station, although it was limited at first to just being on the Amateur bands. He also had plans for a TV station. Expansion of the radio station to non-amateur broadcasting and the TV enterprise were halted by the Nazi and Soviet invasion of September 1939. Fr. Kolbe also had plans for a motion picture studio.

He was “New Evangelization” before anyone else thought of it. If you wish to get the gist of what he did and also what he planned, what Mother Angelica did in Alabama 50 years later is essentially that.

I have also blogged about him before, numerous times (he has become my favorite saint.) Read more of my stuff about him here: St. Maximilian Kolbe post archives.

There is a special group of links for St. Maximilian Kolbe and his Militia of the Immaculata in the sidebar.
But for starters:

Militia of the Immaculata in the USA
The global Militia
“Niepokalanow”
another official Niepokalanow site

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

…if this chalice cannot pass away from me…

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Continuing along with my weekly Passion meditations from (almost) every Friday, this last one on July 15th managed to get me only one more verse into Matthew’s account before stopping.

Matthew 26:42 “Again, a second time, he went and prayed, saying, “My Father, if this chalice cannot pass away, unless I drink it, let your will be done.”

(Via Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version)

If you read Twelve Step literature and have attended meetings a lot, you’ll recall “Not my will, but yours (or God’s) be done” mentioned frequently. This is a very good exercise in getting away from oneself and putting others before you. We alcoholics and addicts can be a very self-centered and selfish lot.

We don’t decide what we want to do; rather we try and discern what God wants us to do. Not an easy task but if you are a Christian it is somewhat easier.

Study the Ten Commandments.

Study the Beatitudes.

Study Matthew 25:31-45.

Study the Lord’s Prayer.

Put God first, others second and yourself third.

Practice humility.

There is another object lesson in the passage from Matthew. Jesus knew what was going to happen, and based upon the text, might have been reluctant. Perhaps His human nature exerting itself? (Probably a theologically imprecise statement, but you know what I mean.)

The thing is, quite often we are faced with doing things we’d rather not do. Few of us will face something as severe like the trial and execution that Jesus was to undergo. Be that as it may, many times we’d rather run and hide than do what’s in front of us.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post in this series, “If Jesus can feel that way, that gives us some consolation. God knows everything, but knowing and experiencing something in His human nature AND in His divine nature I think divinizes the experience. We suffer, and are sorrowful so much so at times that our spirit embraces death. Not necessarily becoming suicidal, but the degree of severity to which we are suffering can be “like death.” We, as baptized Catholics, and thus members of the Mystical Body of Christ, can draw upon this when we “offer up” or pains. He knows about them. Not just because He is an omniscient God, but because He’d been there, He suffered them, too.. Our sufferings are gathered up into the Mystical Body, and as He suffered we can draw strength and courage from that.”

See also earlier posts on this topic:
My Way or His Way

Not My Will, but Yours be Done

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak

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Continuing on with my Friday (almost) weekly Scripture meditations on the Passion of Our Lord, I managed to get only a few more verses on July 8th than last time.

Matthew 26:41 “Be vigilant and pray, so that you may not enter into temptation. Indeed, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak,” really stuck with me. It should speak to all of us at various stages of our drinking. We want to stop, we know we must. But we can’t. We are addicted.

But we do not have to rely on the flesh for results. Our own will isn’t strong enough. It essentially never is when doing battle. We have to rely on graces from Our Lord. For example:

Matthew 19:26 “But with God, all things are possible.”

Phillipians 4:13 “Everything is possible in him who has strengthened me.”

We cannot overcome our struggles alone. We can try but we will continually fail. Even if we persevere and after each time we rise up and resolve to do better, that still takes its toll.

Granted, saints are made from those who always arise after their fall, but we can take heart that if we learn to allow God to shower us with His graces and let Him “take over,” we can be more successful. Trying to resist temptation on our own willpower will doom us to failure.

Scripture quotes via Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A fortnight of years in sobriety

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Today marks my 14th anniversary of my last drunk. I sort of remember it, although for years I couldn’t recall the exact time (as in hour/minute) I took my last drink. I still can’t. I won’t bother with the details of my last drunk as I’ve written about them before.

Question: “How’d I do it?” Answer: “One day at a time!!” Well, there’s more to it than that, but in essence the twelve step practice of taking each day as it comes does help.

Sometimes I have to take each hour as it comes.

Speaking of the Twelve Steps, yes, they are useful. A wonderful lifeline when other things are absent or insufficient. (Absent or insufficient because they have not been developed enough as a response to external factors that may create a desire to drink.)

My Catholic Faith was and is more useful. I do know that if I had to rely solely upon the spirituality of the Twelve Steps and meeting attendance, I’d be one of those poster children for relapses; “those people” you see who enter the program, “get it” for a while, and then go back out.

Once in a while there are stressors. Anxiety, isolation, economic concerns and so forth well up and I think, “Just one drink to take the edge off.” But no, I don’t. I get through it (“One hour at a time, one minute at a time…”) and move on.

At times like those I also grab my AA literature (the Big Book or 12 & 12) and get help that way. Sometimes I feel the need for a meeting, but don’t bother (I seriously am NOT a meeting person. Never was, never will be. Online recovery works for me. I visit In the Rooms a lot.)

Sometimes when I feel that way, that my Faith and other personal means to maintain sobriety aren’t working, and I feel the need to fall back on traditional fixes like “going to a meeting” or “calling a sponsor” then I assess the state of my Faith. Sincerely, the Faith is all one should need.

Jesus came to heal the broken and wounded. The sick. We are all that and so His Church and the sacraments and devotions should work. They have, for me and for others that I’ve run across over the years. But at times they seem to be “not enough.”

But that isn’t an indictment of the Faith, or possibly not even my practice of it. There’s a list of saints very long who have gone through frequent periods of spiritual dryness, times when the Faith “wasn’t there.” They persevered and discerned that it was God’s way of drawing them closer. It is a path of spiritual growth and development (see St. Teresa of Jesus, a/k/a St. Teresa of Avila.) We feel distant and therefore we persevere and strive on, or we abandon the path.

I stay on the path. (This must be why images and symbols of “the path,” “the road,” “the way,” “the journey” resonate with me.)

I have come to feel that in those times when I feel the urge to drink is strong, and I need to respond in a traditional twelve step way, that I need to work on my Faith. I need to make a Spiritual Communion, or meditate on the Holy Spirit and His indwelling in me, or talk to the Blessed Mother. If this sounds selfish to you who are avid and devoted Twelve-Steppers, so be it. For the most part, my experience with AA has been at variance with the common conception of a “fellowship.” It’s just one more organization where I am a misfit, despite trying.

To me, AA and meeting attendance are training wheels or a crib. Eventually you outgrow them. You learn to ride on your own without the help of training wheels, and you move out of the crib. Useful to understand alcoholism and get the basics of Twelve Step spirituality and how to change your way of thinking and responding to situations, but after a fashion, one should learn what the Faith has to offer.

We were created by God. We exist to love Him and serve Him in this life and to be united and happy with Him forever in the next life (Heaven.) To get through this life He has established a Church to guide us.

We are obligated and we owe Him the duty to fully explore that Church and the Faith that springs up around Her. This does not mean leaving AA, if that suits your sobriety and you really enjoy it, then fine. It can be considered a work of mercy. Perhaps even a source for friendships.

But working within a Twelve Step program shouldn’t come at the expense of your Catholic Faith; that is like continuing to eat pureed baby food when the bread of life is readily available.

That’s all I have to say! I’ve just been very reflective on my fourteen years, where I’ve been, am now and where I’m going, along with the means for the way.

Just trudgin’ my road of happy destiny.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Debauchery

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The Second Reading from today’s Mass for the Twentieth Sunday of Ordinary Time (boldface mine):

Ephesians 5:15-20 “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, always and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father.”

We know about debauchery. Some of us more than others. St. Paul offers excellent advice on countering this: doing alternative, spiritual things such as singing hymns, reading the Psalms (always a great source of comfort) and giving thanks to God (showing “gratitude.”) How often have you been to an AA meeting and heard about gratitude? Be grateful for what you have, desire nothing more than having your needs fulfilled.

If you’ve been clean and sober for a while, and have explored the spiritual riches of the Faith, perhaps you’ve run across suggestions of doing the virtue in opposition to the vice you’re acting out. For example, practice humility to counter pride. This is what St. Paul is suggesting. Counter debauchery with holiness.

That may sound trite, but all this does serve to interrupt the thought processes leading to sin and relapse. Something has to be done to stop the process.

So, read the Psalms. Break out into song! 😉 Fill your heart and soul with holiness!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

in all our affairs

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We practice these principles in all our affairs, taking the vision of God’s Will into our lives asking, “Not my will, but thine be done.”

When stumbling along the path, confused, angry, irritated or just plain lost, we recite: “God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

For we may be the only Gospel of Christ or Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that anyone sees that day. We must be ever mindful of that, as well as when we meet other people throughout the day, that moment is but a snapshot of who they are along their journey. And that moment doesn’t define them.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)