Category Archives: Fear

Hope and Perseverance

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In light of yesterday’s Giving Glory to God post, I’m dusting off a draft that is related to it.

“Hope and Perseverance,” are two things that I can at least grab onto as things I do not lack. Despite this or that excuse or circumstance or “whatever,” every night when I go to bed I think of what I have done and what I have failed to do, and when dwelling upon the latter, I resolve to do better.

Every night, every day.

The “amount” of hope and perseverance may vary at time. Often I just feel like saying “to heck with it,” but the feeling never lasts.

I think that if I wake up every morning, God is giving me another chance at setting right whatever I failed to do the previous day.

In a way, this is like the 12 Step slogan, “Never give up five minutes before the miracle occurs.” This is with regard to finally “getting” sobriety of the 12 Step Program, but I think it applies to other things that you are yearning for: Do not quit, never give up, keep on at least TRYING to do whatever it is that you think God placed you on this Earth for. Eventually things may sort themselves out and become clearer and you’ll see the path to where you’re going, if not the actual results.

Keep on keepin’ on, people.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Recovering Catholics

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One thing has repeatedly disturbed me in the over 10 years of sobriety that I have.

That thing is the phrase “Recovering Catholic.”

I encountered that phrase quite a lot yesterday and today when I revisited an online recovery community called In The Rooms. I joined a few years ago, never did much with it, but recently felt called to see it again and maybe participate more.

One thing that I hope to do this time around is seek out members of my Faith. My Faith has been extremely important to me in my recovery from alcohol. My Catholicism is tightly wrapped up in my experience, strength and hope.  I figure that if I can connect to other Catholics here, I might find more of a reason to stay. Not that I am uninterested in non-Catholic members, far from it, I’ll be a friend with anyone who is sincere. But I may find an additional incentive to stick around if I can meet other fellow Catholics.

And so I did a search up there in the search area for “Catholic.” I found a bunch of people. It seems that the ITR search engine found anyone who had the term “Catholic” in his or her profile.

And often the word “Catholic” was right after the word “Recovering.”

To me, that term is mean-spirited and hurtful. It also means that the people identifying themselves as one have unresolved issues with the Church. What do 12 Step Programs say about such things? I forget the exact quote in AA’s “Big Book,” but there is something in it about how anger and resentment are two things that alcoholics (and by modern extension, any addict) cannot afford.

They are dangerous landmines. These unresolved issues are just waiting to bite you and perhaps be the trigger for a relapse. Any resentment or unresolved issue needs to be addressed.

Why the term “Recovered Catholic” anyway? Catholicism is an ancient and deep religion and spirituality that has been one of the primary architects of Western civilization. There is much within it that is useful to anyone in recovery. If a person has been harmed by the Church, whether by abuse (of any kind), or they were raised “too strict,” or they have difficulties with the Church’s teachings, all these need to be explored and dealt with.

Regarding abuse: individuals caused it. Not the Church as an institution. Granted, the Church badly fumbled and stumbled in reforming and dealing with abuse. Those who abused, covered up the abuse, and did other wrongs will eventually suffer just punishment. I am by no means soft-pedaling a serious and critical issue. But the lasting anger and resentment that victims feel years later are hardly a “healing.” There are resources available with the Church and outside that can assist people in healing from abuse. It may take years, but the process should be started, and take as long as it needs to take. Otherwise you’re never completely “recovered” from what happened.

If they were raised by “too strict” parents (or taught by too “tough” nuns), so what? That was the parent’s fault. Why did they feel so strongly about the Faith that they drove it home so hard? Perhaps you can learn from authentic and legitimate Catholic sources as to what the Church teach, and more importantly why She teaches that. Your eyes, heart and mind may be opened. Tell you the truth, I was raised Catholic by my parents, my father was rather strict (less so with me than with my much older siblings). I had enough and left the Church. I wandered about a spiritual desert for maybe 15 years before returning. I am grateful that I did. The Church saved my life. Maintaining a harsh attitude against the Church for how Her teachings were inculcated in you is hardly a sign of one in a good recovery (from an addiction. Again that “resentment” word.)

If it is difficulty with Church teachings, then the same advice: learn from authentic and legitimate Catholic sources as to what the Church teaches, and more importantly why. You may understand.

This all takes honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. It also takes humility.

Many people in recovery find their religious faith (Catholic or otherwise) to be of immense help. Going 12 Step-only does not always work, many people need something more. To identify yourself in a manner that bashes another religion is counter-productive and just plain impolite. It is harmful to others, particularly members of that Faith to whom it may be important), and ultimately paints yourself as an individual who may have a shaky recovery (no matter how long sober and clean.)

If you cannot fully deal with and resolve issues from your past, then how can you be of help to others?

The point is, that no matter what the source is for a person’s use of the term “Recovering Catholic,” it does signify something that needs to be addressed and resolved. Something deep inside is still hurting. Honesty and humility are useful tools in doing this. You may not ever return to the Catholic Church, but perhaps the hate, anger and resentment will fade.

Forgiveness and perhaps even reconciliation are ultimately needed. Many “in the rooms” say the Lord’s Prayer during meetings, or on their own. You may want to take a look at the line towards the end:

“And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others who trespass against us.”

It basically means that God will not forgive you of your sins against Him or against others, unless you also forgive others of their sins against you. It is tough. Forgiveness may be the toughest thing anyone can do. If it was easy, the world would be a far more peaceful place.

Some things to ponder.

If any reader is a member of ITR, here is my profile at “In The Rooms”.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Inspiring video for when things get really bad

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Just watch:

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Novena to St. Michael the Archangel, Day 5

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On this fifth day of the Novena, we petition
the Lord for protection against Satan.

Alcoholism is called “cunning, baffling and powerful.” Indeed it is, since it is also a weapon use by Satan to trap us and keep us from the path God intended for us to trudge.

It is stronger than we are, if we battle it alone. Joining with others to help maintain sobriety has been a huge success, whether it is through actual 12 Step membership, or even more informal camaraderie with good friends who help keep each other clean and sober (made easier nowadays with social networking like Facebook, Plurk and Google+).

Alone we are vulnerable to attack. With others, especially strengthened by prayer and meditation, we can put it behind us and recover the life we were meant to lead.

Matthew 18:20
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

(Via USCCB.)

Now, to the Novena:

Begin the prayer with: O God, come to my assistance. O Lord, make haste to help me. Glory be to the Father…, etc.

By the intercession of St. Michael and the celestial Choir of Powers may the Lord protect our souls against the snares and temptations of the devil. Amen.

[Say one Our Father and three Hail Marys after your intentions for the protection of your soul.]

To say the entire Chaplet, click here:
Chaplet of St. Michael

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

You will not be tried beyond your strength

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Quite often in 12 Step meetings and elsewhere it is said that “God will not allow you to be tried or tested beyond your strength or limits.”

It is Scriptural, therefore reliable and true.

1 Corinthians 10:13: No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.

(Via USCCB NABRE.)

All of our trials are the result of human error and folly. Our lack of cooperation with God’s will introduces friction in our lives, and our human frailty and selfishness furthermore mucks up the works. God permits these things to happen due to His respect for our free will and for the opportunity for us to accept these crosses as proof of our discipleship. We screw up, we turn to Him.

One thing I did not know was the part about “…He will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.” This is even more comforting. The answer lies within the problem. His hand is somewhere in there guiding us, we have to just see it and reach out.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Crucible of Faith

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Earlier this month I wrote: Just enough. This is a sequel.

The reason I am writing this sequel is that I need to expound somewhat on the “suffering” aspect of that post. Although you might think that there would be increased confidence in relying on Divine Providence, there is a lag time between when the suffering (worrying) begins and when you realize that you are getting “just enough.” The lag time varies, perhaps from situation to situation and from person to person. It all depends on the strength of your Faith and how often in the past you have allowed suffering to strengthen it.

We have two spiritual options when faced with suffering. We can reject it or accept it. The World tells us to reject it. The spiritually ignorant or weak will feel that God should reward the faithful, as if that is proof of His love. These people perhaps do not discipline their children or admonish friends all that much. Suffering is painful, pain is bad and should be avoided.

Or we can accept, for as Christians we are called to follow Christ, since He said:

Luke 9:23: “Then he said to all, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

To deny ourselves sounds like we must essentially run counter to our basic instinct of self-preservation. Suffering threatens our survival, and so therefore we must shun it. But we are not animals, subject to instinct, we are made in the image and likeness of God and as “…God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life,” (John 3:16) so we must reflect that love in return and trust in Him, like a child trusts in his or her earthly father.

The pain and uncertainty of material want, such as financial worries of various kinds, has a very debilitating effect on faith. Faith is not material, it can’t feed you physical food or pay the bills. It can feed you and provide courage for tough times, but as I stated earlier, there may be that lag time before it kicks in. And how do you get through that lag time, when your faith is threatened by overwhelming worries and concerns?

Anyone can have strong faith when things are going well. It isn’t hard to trust in God and have faith that things will be all right when they already are. It is when you are struggling to pay the bills, the truck and SUV need repairing (and both are old), and housing expenses are perhaps out of reach… in these times try to keep the faith.

These times can serve as a crucible, a forge or winepress that purifies and strengthens the faith. Purify it from all insincerity and falsehood, or refining it for some divine purpose. Strengthen it for tough times ahead (the World is increasingly unfriendly to Christianity in general, and Catholicism in particular).

Psalm 66:10: “You tested us, O God, tried us as silver tried by fire.”

1 Peter 1:7: “In this you rejoice, although now for a little while you may have to suffer through various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold that is perishable even though tested by fire, may prove to be for praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

We can cut and run when it gets tough, when our daily troubles feel overwhelming and no end appears in sight. We can abandon our Faith and resort to unethical or immoral solutions to our problems, or if not that then destroy the relationships about us with our fear, anger and anxiety.

Or we can offer it up to God, take it one day at a time, assume He is in charge despite the mess and grow as people. Men develop the masculine strength to bear the burden and “slay the terror” and be the emotional rock upon which others can depend on, and women can see this as a time to become even more nurturing and caring in order to assist others around them to maintain a sense of peace and stability.

It is not easy accomplishing this, it takes time and perseverance. And a refusal to reject suffering. Perseverance will help you also later in life on your deathbed.

Faith can help keep your wits about you when all others are losing theirs.

Matthew 6:19-21,24-27: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.

“No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?”

You cannot ignore these problems. Like I said in the “Just Enough” post, “It does NOT mean that you pray for something and “BOING!” you get it.” You have to work for it, plan for it. But you have a partner, and that is God. He works in partnership with us, and with others. We do not know everything that is going on. A solution to your time of troubles could be developing as you read this and suddenly present itself.

Philippians 4:6-7: “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

I think in the context of this post that “the peace… that surpasses all understanding” is what keeps you faith strong and your wits about you.

You are not alone:

1 Peter 5:7-10: “Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you. Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for (someone) to devour. Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings. The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ (Jesus) will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little.”

You suffer, and will recover. You will get through it. Somehow. Any alcoholic and addict reading this should understand.

Be “steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings.”

May the peace of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be with you all.

All Scripture quotes courtesy: USCCB.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Happiness from People, Places and Things

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A realization came to me at work a few weeks ago. I transferred to a new place within my company, and I had been undergoing a somewhat painful transition. I was wondering about why we have to endure certain things. I know I’ve written a great number of times about the need to accept suffering as evidence of our willingness to follow Christ, but at times I still wonder about happiness, and its place in our lives.

I think that happiness is illusory, we cannot depend upon others too much for our happiness, and if we look inward we become self-indulgent and then block out other people. Places change. The things of this world are passing, we cannot depend upon them either.

People come and go, the things of this world fade away, too. Some people stay with you for a long time, but they are a minority.

Places deteriorate, or you have to leave them for other places.

Things that the world offers are definitely not a source of happiness, at least not long-term healthy kind. They tend to take you away from God and the spiritual.

The only true source of happiness comes from following God’s will as best as one can discern it and following that will to Heaven, our true and eternal home.

It is sometimes necessary then for Christians to be “disconnected” from the world, to be “in the world”, but not “of it”. We participate in it, but realize that it is only a way station, and not a place of permanence.

Not sure where I’m going with all this, as it isn’t original or deeply profound, but pondering it helped me get through some trying times at work. Perhaps it was a needed shift in perspective.

NOTE: This was published a few years ago on one of my other, now defunct blogs. I am reposting it here, slightly edited for some updating. Interesting how you realize things all over again.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The well do not need a physician, the sick do

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I have probably blogged about this Scripture passage before, but it bears mentioning again. The Gospel reading for today’s Mass (Saturday of the First Week of Ordinary Time) tells us that Jesus came here for the broken and wounded of humanity:

Mark 2:16-17: “Some scribes who were Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors and said to his disciples, ‘Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ Jesus heard this and said to them (that), ‘Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.’“

(Via USCCB.)

He came for all who need healing. Regardless of the circumstances, if you are sick and suffering, alone and fearful, anxious and worried, He came to heal you. Turn to Him in the Mass, in the Eucharist and in Adoration, and He will heal you. It may take time, but the process begins.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

LET IT PASS AND IT WILL PASS

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Spirit Daily has an article posted yesterday (or today) entitled: LET IT PASS AND IT WILL PASS. It is on the spiritual and sacramental benefits of Confession.

In Twelve Step movements we usually hear a lot about cleaning up the past, and this in important in 4th and 5th Step work. Past hurts, resentment and guilt all can clog up and retard your spiritual development. Not to mention unconfessed sins can perhaps condemn you if they are mortal.

In the Spirit Daily piece linked to above, the writer describes how Jesus can help you clean up your past through Confession.

This is the season of Advent. We must prepare for the coming of the Lord. Clean up your life by examining your conscience and going to Confession before Christmas.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Resolution: One Day at a Time

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As we begin a new year soon, we are often reminded of the popular cultural custom of making resolutions for the rest of the year. Always intended to be a means for self-improvement, they are ultimately self-defeating. We more often than not fail to maintain our resolve for a new and better self because we do not have the endurance or discipline necessary to think in terms of an entire year.

And so as we learn in our recovery program, mostly 12 Step ones, that we must take things “one day at a time.” We can more easily comprehend the next 24 hours, or at least the stretch of hours until bedtime, than we can the next 365 days.

And therefore this is what we do. “Today I will not worry. I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.” Jesus says in Scripture:

Matthew 6:34: “Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”

(Via USCCB.)

Some things we remove from our options in dealing with others. Big things like drinking, murder, assault and rape. With regard to the rest: Have faith in the Lord. He will carry you through this day and the next. He did not bring you this far only to cast you aside before the race is over.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)