Category Archives: Forgiveness

490 times!

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In this excerpt of the Gospel from the Mass for Tuesday of the Third Week of Lent (Matthew 18:21-22) we learn the importance Jesus places upon forgiveness:

Then Peter, drawing near to him, said: “Lord, how many times shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Even seven times?”

Jesus said to him: “I do not say to you, even seven times, but even seventy times seven times.”

Courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

If you pair this off with the petition near the end of the “Lord’s Prayer,” that part that goes: “…and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” and we have a real major issues if we hold on to grievances and resentments.

Getting rid of them is indeed hard. I’ve got some that are persistent and at times I think I’m over them. But a wandering mind at times seeks something to grab onto and it gravitates towards and old hurt. And them doesn’t let go.

I like to think that I’ve forgiven the original offense, and that it’s just the emotional pain that persists in memory, but I’m not sure. I’ve read countless things on forgiveness; that it doesn’t mean forgetting or reconciliation, it just means that you’ve disconnected from the original event and no longer expect or want an apology or explanation. It no longer has that hold on you. The hurt happened, it’s way back there in the past and let it go. The pain may return from time to time, but that’s just being human. If you quickly run some spiritual techniques to quell the memory, perhaps you can move on again.

I suppose it’s time to dwell on forgiveness, for if we cannot forgive, we cannot expect it ourselves.

(I just checked, this post is the 100th post in the Forgiveness Category and 67th in the Resentment one! Maybe I should spend some time reading these…)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The wounded prodigal

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Today’s Gospel Reading for the Saturday of the Second Week of Lent is a popular one involving mercy and forgiveness. It is the story of “The Prodigal Son.”

I wrote about it before: Prodigal Alcoholics.

In that post I focused on mercy and forgiveness. There is also another point: the longing to belong and rejoin what you once had, even if in a more humble state. The Prodigal was intent on just being a hired hand for his father; he never expected to be readmitted to the family. Perhaps this is what we all hope for in our recovery: that our families and employers would just “forget” our sins and problems and move forward in life with us, just happy that we’re back and healthy. This does not always happen. Perhaps for some, and even then probably over time. We all mess up and wish for a “do over,” like nothing ever happened. This is not realistic, as our addiction did happen. Since God has this knack for bringing good out of evil, we can use this to our advantage. Use the experience of our addiction and recovery and help others in some way. Perhaps not by starting a blog about recovery process 😉 but at least by using the humbling experience of our own suffering to be understanding of others’ suffering and “screwed-upness.” We who were screwed up can have empathy towards others. We should be better able to connect and understand other people’s brokenness and wounded nature.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Love your enemies

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In this excerpt from the Gospel for the Mass of Saturday of the First Week of Lent (Matthew 5:44) Jesus exhorts us to: “Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. And pray for those who persecute and slander you.”

Courtesy: Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

Not easy for anyone, especially those of us who are in recovery and have a past littered with problematic relationships.

Jesus is asking us to make amends. Matthew 5 has a number of passages on this; just earlier in this chapter Jesus is warning us to make amends to our ‘brother’ before offering a sacrifice if there is anything between you both.

It is not easy, at all, to “love” those who took issue with our drinking, especially if we gave them reason to hate us for our behavior. Given all of this, it is difficult to come around in our recovery to try and approach them with love. But we try. We love them in our hearts, we do our best to do good to and for them. We pray for them.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Claiming God’s Mercy

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The Year of Mercy ended last Sunday with Pope Francis’ closing of the Holy Doors in Rome. (Obviously, this post is late. 😉 ) However, mercy is not limited to a single “year.” God’s Mercy is available to everyone who desires it and is easily found in the “tribunal of mercy,” also known as the Sacrament of Penance (or “Confession” or “Reconciliation.”)

Advent begins today. Embracing the Sacrament of Penance by going to Confession during the season of Advent is an excellent way to prepare for the coming of the Lord. For that is what Advent is about, preparation for the arrival of Jesus’ first coming and if you have been praying the Divine Office these past few weeks in November, you are aware that the Church hasn’t waited for Advent; many of the readings in the Church’s “official prayer book” have been referring to the Lord’s Second Coming as well. It is not enough that we need to commemorate His first arrival in a stable in Bethlehem, we have to also be made aware that there is a promise of a Second Coming. The Church in Her infinite wisdom and love is shepherding us along the path towards the narrow gate that Jesus spoke of.

Matthew 7: 13-14 Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate, and broad is the way, which leads to perdition, and many there are who enter through it. How narrow is the gate, and how straight is the way, which leads to life, and few there are who find it!

Source: Matthew – Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible

Why? Because His Second Coming won’t be like the first; He will come as a Just Judge, bringing to completion human history. We will be judged according to our faith and deeds and especially how merciful we ourselves have been to others.

To pass through that narrow gate, we need to repent and claim the Mercy of God.

Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ appeared in mystical visions to the young Polish nun Sr. Maria Faustina Kowalska back in the 1930’s. I’ve blogged about the “Divine Mercy” devotions before SEE Divine Mercy Post Archive. In her Diary in which she described the visions, she records several statements made by Him on Mercy. Read a few of them and be inspired to seek a priest and have your sacramental confession heard (the numbers refer to paragraphs in her Diary):

723: The greater the sinner, the greater the right he has to My mercy. My mercy is confirmed in every work of My hands. He who trusts in My mercy will not perish, for all his affairs are mine, and his enemies will be shattered at the base of My footstool.

687: (Concerning the Chaplet of Divine Mercy) Even if there were a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only once, he would receive grace from My infinite mercy. I desire that the whole world know My infinite mercy. I desire to grant unimaginable graces to those souls who trust in My mercy.

1567: Make known to souls the great mercy that I have for them and to exhort them to trust in the bottomless depths of My mercy.

So, think about “where you’re at” in your recovery and also in your relationship with the Lord. Avail yourself of His Mercy. Many parishes have special days and times set aside for Penance in addition to the regularly scheduled times. If you haven’t been to Confession in many years, perhaps call the priest to make an appointment. He can possibly suggest a good examination of concience to help you get started, or just while you’re there guide you along the way.

How to pray The Chaplet of The Divine Mercy

How to get the Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul: the Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

REVIEW of “Praying for Those with Addictions” by Anne Costa

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Speaker, author and spiritual coach Anne Costa has written a new book and it’s for people who are affected by others’ addictions. “Praying for Those with Addictions: A Mission of Love, Mercy and Hope” offers a Catholic spiritual approach that would be an excellent aid for those coping with a family member or other loved one suffering from addiction.

badke6 annecosta

From the Introduction: “This book is written to offer hope in the hell storm of addiction. It will set you on a course for a mission of love and mercy and for a miracle of healing, not just for the person who is addicted, but for yourself as well.
…
What seems clear is that at the heart of every addiction is a wound that needs to be healed.
…
What we DO know and can believe is that prayer works and faith fixes things!
…
We can stand in the gap through prayer, sacrifice, and supplication for the one who is addicted. Our prayers can, and will, make a difference.”

“Praying for Those with Addictions” is divided into twelve chapters, one for each month of the year. The idea is that this book can be used as a sort of “workbook” throughout the year, each chapter taking you along a spiritual road leading you towards a greater degree of freedom in dealing with your loved ones’ addiction problem and how you can best assist them. Along the way you will learn much about God’s compassion and love.

Each chapter concludes with four sections, one for each week of the month. Each section has a passage from Scripture for you to meditate upon for that week. There are prayers helping you with the meditation, along with a “reflective question” paired off with the verse. All these assist you in starting a prayer journal. (I can personally attest that writing is therapeutic. Whether you call it “journaling” or “blogging,” getting stuff out there even if only you read it helps. I seriously need to do that more often…)

While the book is intended for people in Al-Anon and similar groups for other addictions, I do feel it is worthwhile if the addict or alcoholic is yourself. There are many useful practices that can be applied to anyone in recovery. For example, there is a wonderful examination of conscience for each line of the Lord’s Prayer in Chapter 5: “One Day at a Time.”

There are not very many books published that specifically serve Catholics in dealing with addictions relative to those serving the non-Catholic Christian community; Costa has done all of us sober Catholics in particular and the Church in general a great service in writing this. I highly recommend this book, it is a needed treasure and most definitely fills a void. This is a book that should be on every Catholic’s recovery bookshelf, or better yet, on your prayer table or wherever you do your daily prayers and meditations. It will have a lasting and positive impact on your life as well as the ones you love who are addicts.

From the back of the book: “WE ALL KNOW people who struggle with addictions. Sometimes they are our dearest loved ones. We often feel helpless in the face of their struggle, and yet our prayers are the best weapons we have to help them break free. Anne Costa shows us that we can cooperate with God’s grace as we wait in hope for healing to come. And as we wait, our prayers will help us as well.”

You may order it directly from the publisher here: “Praying for Those with Addictions” from The Word Among Us Press. The publisher’s page also give ebook links so you can buy it for your Kindle, Apple, Nook or Android device.

You can also read a free, thirty page preview on Issuu that gives you a good idea of the structure: Preview on Issuu.

Costa has written other books, you can find them here: Books by Anne Costa.

DISCLAIMER: Costa has listed this blog as a resource (among many other useful ones, some I didn’t know about! I have to update the links sidebar…). Doing so did not impact my review; I would have declined to write it if I thought poorly of the book.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Divine Mercy Sunday

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(NOTE: Portions of this post were cobbled together from earlier ones.)

Tomorrow is Divine Mercy Sunday. It is a new celebration established by Pope St. John Paul II in 2000 when he canonized a Polish nun who had received messages (or “interior locutions”) from Jesus in the 1930’s. (These are an accepted part of Catholicism, although not binding upon the faithful. Apparitions like those at Lourdes and Fatima and messages such as those received by Sr. Faustina (now Saint Faustina) do not add anything new to God’s Revelation to humanity. They are merely signs that the Good Shepherd is doing His work and is reminding us of certain necessary things. Quite often apparitions and locutions occur during critical moments in human history, indicating that the Lord’s “sheep” are going astray and He is coming after them.)

Jesus’ messages to St. Faustina concern God’s immense love for people and His boundless “ocean of Mercy” to which we are all entitled. No matter how dirtied we are by the sins of our past, when we dip into the ocean of Mercy we are scrubbed clean. God’s mercy is available to us for the asking, and is the source of immeasurable graces.

The devotion and practice of Divine Mercy is critical, I think, to anyone in recovery. It fixes our brokenness and mends our wounded souls. It teaches us that God is a loving Father, that Jesus is our brother and the Holy Spirit our infallible guide.

It was important to me, and critical in my recovery and how my Catholic Faith became more important than the Twelve Steps in maintaining my sobriety.

I had drifted away from the Catholic Church in 1987 thinking that religion was just human nonsense designed by the powerful to control people. I never doubted or disbelieved in God’s existence, as I’ve always regarded atheism as a supremely irrational and stupid human notion. I did feel nevertheless that religion was pointless. Anyway, to make a long story short, I drank to excess, abused it, and ended up returning to live with my Mom for 10 years. Originally I was to be her caregiver (my alcoholism was manageable), but for a while I was the person being cared for. (See also Drunkalogue.) My Mom watched EWTN a lot. Aside from the Daily Mass, from which I got a daily injection of Truth and sensibility from the sermons, she also watched the “Chaplet of Divine Mercy” each morning. She eventually taught it to me, particularly around Divine Mercy Sunday.

I think it was her daily praying of the Chaplet that brought me back into the Church. It also was, and continues through this day, to be a source of healing and mercy.

This is important to us Catholic alcoholics and addicts. We are so broken and wounded from our past. For many the past is just too much and they never fully escape from its haunting.

The all-encompassing nature of Divine Mercy heals our souls and enables us to draw upon the endless reservoir of God’s Mercy. It is a tremendous aid in our spiritual growth and progress. It led me back into the Catholic Church, with Her fullness of the Gospel Truth and the sacramental life and graces. It helps you to achieve a more fuller life.

The key elements of the Divine Mercy Devotion are:

Please click on each of those links to learn more! You can also click on this: Divine Mercy to explore anything else I wrote on it.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Try and make amends before it’s too late

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I blogged earlier about an online friend’s sudden death.

Given the nature of Sober Catholic, I will offer an exhortation to those who have yet to make amends to people they need to (or have to). Do so, for the time will come when they will die and the opportunity will be lost.

I understand perfectly well the resistance to approaching people and trying to make up for the damage done while drinking or drugging. Sometimes it is not possible as trying to will only do more harm than good. Use your conscience or speak with a sponsor or bring it up at a meeting, if needed.

But at least consider the possibility that they person may not be around when you finally decide to repair the relationship.

NOTE: The lady who died wasn’t someone with whom I needed to make an amends. Her death was sudden, and that is what prompted these posts.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Faustina and Divine Mercy

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October 5th is the Feast of St. Faustina Kowalska. She is the “Apostle of Divine Mercy” and for several years prior to her death in 1938 had received interior locutions from Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary. The Lord commanded her to write her experiences. The resulting book, “Divine Mercy in My Soul” is a modern day classic of Catholic spirituality and mysticism. As with all such Church-approved things, there is nothing in her Diary that adds anything “new” to divine revelation. Like similar matters, it serves to exhort us to do things we already should be doing but have strayed from. It is a spiritual autobiography detailing her life from her youth through to just before her death, a wonderful description of a life lived according to the Will of God.

The Diary also serves as the primary means by which the devotion to “Divine Mercy” spreads. The devotion consists mainly of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy prayers and Novena, the Diary, Divine Mercy Sunday (which is the Second Sunday of Easter), Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. Jesus desired that this devotion be established and made known to prepare humankind for His Second Coming, as well as to encourage humanity to repent and return to God.

The Diary beautifully describes the love and mercy of God. I feel it is a text that every sober Catholic should have. It often serves to lift my spirits in ways other books do not (save for the Gospels.) When I read it I feel like it is a long, soothing letter of comfort, consoling me when times are difficult.

St. Faustina is a classic case how how the Lord selects the poor and marginalized of society, the uneducated and lowly, to carry out His work.

1 Corinthians 1:27 “But God has chosen the foolish of the world, so that he may confound the wise. And God has chosen the weak of the world, so that he may confound the strong.

And God has chosen the ignoble and contemptible of the world, those who are nothing, so that he may reduce to nothing those who are something.”
via: The Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

Here is a quick biography of her: St. Faustina bio.

You can buy the Diary at this link, as well as other related items. I get NO commission on any sale, this is just a service of mine. If think you’ll benefit, then here’s where you can get it! This is a link to an “official” gift shop.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Rogation Days

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There is a pious Catholic practice I recently became aware of, even though it is over a millennia old. It is the service of the “Rogation Days,” which takes place annually on the Feast of St. Mark (the Gospel writer) on April 25th, and on the Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday preceding Ascension Thursday. I missed the April 25th observance this year.

It is normally done in a church, but is rare nowadays as it was dropped from the Liturgical calendar in 1970; it is now only practiced in those parishes that celebrate the Extraordinary Form of the Mass an its accompanying calendar (and even then, I’m not sure how common it is…)

From the “Catholic Rural Life Prayer Book,”

“The word “rogation” comes from the Latin word “rogare” meaning “to ask.”
The three Rogation Days are over 1,500 years old. They began in the fifth
century at Vienne, France, when, in the year 470, there had been crop
failures–due to earthquakes and bad weather–with resulting great food
scarcity and destitution. St. Mamertus, bishop of Vienne, ordered a triduum
of prayer and penance on the three days preceding the Ascension. The clergy
and the people made penitential processions calling upon God to help and
asking the intercession of His saints.

…

The purpose of the Rogation Days’ service is to implore the mercy of God
that He may keep us from all evils of soul and body, and give to the plants
of the field an increase. In the spring, when the fields are becoming green
and there is promise of a good harvest–but also the possibility of
destruction through frost, hail, or rainstorms–the prayers and processions
are a reminder to feeble man to turn with humility and confidence to the
Giver of all good. For, it is not the earth alone which brings forth fruit,
and not alone the busy hand of man on which the increase depends; but it is
God who gives the increase.”

The words I emboldened give you an idea as to why I’m making it known to you. Although as a pious practice it traditionally is a fixture in rural communities, I think it can be applied for people in addiction recovery. It’s a stretch, but “to implore the mercy of God that He may keep us from all evils of soul and body” is a worthwhile use of this devotion for us alcoholics. The parts referring to “growing things” is… well, I frequently suggest that readers “go outside to get outside” of yourself. Outdoors is where you can meet and get to know God through the study and observance of His works. (The best place is, of course inside a church, at Mass or in front of te Blessed Sacrament) but being amongst His creation is good, too.

I am not sure exactly how the Rogation Days can be practiced at home if they aren’t observed in a parish near you; I do have a copy of the “Rural Life Prayer Book” and am going to just prayerfully read the section on the Rogation Days and go from there, adapting as best I can. You can obtain a print copy for yourself here: Catholic Rural Life Store .

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

repentance posting

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OK, I did it again! Although I didn’t formally announce it, I sort of strongly implied that I’d be blogging daily during Lent. I actually may have come out and said it, I don’t remember.

Well, no posts these past two days. {{{sigh}}}

(The “I did it again!” refers to my annual Lenten pledge to blog daily, and then failing to do so. It’s been done once, maybe twice. Probably once.)

Well, I’m not going to beat myself up over it; I will just resolve to get back up and proceed onward. And that is a lesson for all of us sinners. We repent and confess our sins; we relapse and sin again. Do we quit with the repentance and confession? After all, we’re probably just going to do it again! Of course not! Even though we will probably commit the same sins, or even new ones, we still pick our sorry selves back up and repent and confess. As long as it takes (which will probably be the rest of our lives).

This separates the saints from those who are not. Saints ALWAYS pick themselves back up and resume.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)