Category Archives: Resentment

Crown of Thorns. Crown of Glory

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If you are an alcoholic or an addict, chances are you might be familiar with anxiety and depression. There is a new blog that deals with those issues from a Catholic perspective. It is written by Rosario and is at

Crown of Thorns.Crown of Glory: “CATHOLIC HOPE FOR THOSE WITH DEPRESSION AND OTHER ANXIETY DISORDERS.”

(Via Adrienne.)

Add it to your arsenal.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The many ways of God's healing gifts

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The following is a link to an article on being open to the varied and diverse ways that God can heal you. Please read and consider how or if it can be relevant to your life.

Spirit Daily – Daily spiritual news from around the world: “GOD IS A GOD OF SURPRISE AND HAS SUCH IN STORE FOR YOU IF YOU HEAL INSIDE AND LOVE”

(Via Spirit Daily.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Benedict's Ladder of Humility: Step 4

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Yesterday I mentioned that the Third Step on St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility is about obedience and that the next step tells you how to deal with it as “obedience” is alien to today’s worldly people bent on personal self-determination.

OK, the Fourth Step is that if this obedience is difficult, unfavorable, or even unjust, one must embrace suffering, and endure it without weakening or seeking escape from it.

Granted, this might not be seen as an acceptable or particularly easy method to deal with the difficulties of “obedience” to legitimate authority. Sort of seems like those drugs advertised on television with a list of side-effects that seem worse than the malady the drug is supposed to cure.

But remember, we are Catholic and as Christians we are supposed to imitate Christ. And as I have said numerous times here, acceptance of suffering is essential to being Christian. That is something lost to many modern-day Christians as they seem to not differ too much from worldly types who seek to avoid suffering at all costs.

Christ suffered and died for our sins. We can imitate Him by accepting whatever suffering that comes into our lives as something permitted by God for our salvation. By enduring suffering we can offer it up in reparation for our sins and also for the sins of others. We can also offer it as an example to others of the contrary path that we Christians take in the world, a path that is essentially counter-cultural in fundamental ways that secular counter-culture isn’t.

Lest anyone think that this is merely a Christian thing, something similar is mentioned in a basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous. In the text, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., New York, 1981) states on page 90:

Few people have been victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional “dry benders” often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances – jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride, often did the same thing.

There is a Gospel passage:

Matt 10:22;

You will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to the end will be saved.

And so we endure. We say the Serenity Prayer to help us “deal with it”, too, for those times when we might be compelled to do more. But whatever the case, we must never resort to the false humility of justifying a course of action because of any apparent “injustice” when it is really just a personal affront to our own pride and self-will. Too many angry people seek to redress “injustices”, when merely they are seeking to justify their own self-indulgences.

The difference between false humility and true humility is the difference between who is aggrieved, you or God?

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

You will not be released until you have paid the last penny

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The Gospel Reading from today’s Mass has important things to say on the subject of reconciliation that many might wish to consider:

Matthew 5: 20-26;

I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
“You have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.’
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment, and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna.
Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him. Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.
Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.

The last line about not being released until you have paid in full is one of the Catholic Church’s Scriptural proofs for the existence of Purgatory. Jesus is apparently strongly implying that if you die still indebted for a wrongdoing, you will pay for it in the afterlife. Since there is an end to this punishment, it is not an eternal one like Hell, therefore a place of temporary punishment must exist.

That being said, even a place of temporary punishment is still punishment, and why undergo it if you can avoid it? Settle accounts now while there is time, make whatever amendments to those you’ve hurt while they’re still around to reconcile with.

Granted it isn’t easy, especially if there is a threat of rejection or of wounds being re-opened. But meditating on the possibility, “becoming willing to make amends” is a start towards this, and of lessening one’s time in Purgatory.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 3 of Novena to the Holy Spirit for Alcoholism and Recovery

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On this third day of the novena, we pray for the gift of understanding.

As usual we say the beginning prayer (actually an old, common prayer for the Holy Spirit):

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

As alcoholics we were seriously misunderstood. That’s one reason why we drank, to escape from those around us who didn’t understand us and to escape into a fantasy world where everything made sense. And we mattered.

Let us not in our sobriety do unto others what had been done unto us. We perhaps deserved being misunderstood. Perhaps we expected others to just get us and just allow us into their lives. We wanted to be accepted for ourselves on our own terms and that was that. When we didn’t fit in to other people’s expectations (or we refused to) we ran off and drank.

We pray today for the gift of understanding. We do not know what is going on in someone else’s head or heart. We do not know what is going on in their life. We shall not judge from outward appearances what could just be a snapshot of a momentary period in their life.

We let it go, or perhaps don’t pick it up.

Oh, Holy Spirit, enable us to see others as the Father sees them. That all whom we meet are children of the Father like us, and just like us are broken and wounded though perhaps in ways we may not understand. We ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Day 1 of Novena to the Holy Spirit for Addictions and Recovery

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Beginning Prayer:

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and rekindle in them the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the Earth.

Ask the Holy Spirit for healing during this Novena. Regardless of how long you have been sober, most of us are all still one or more drinks away from returning to our previous status as practicing alcoholics. Even if you are still in the death grip of alcohol, there is still time. When there is still life, there is still hope. God allows u-turns!

Why might there still be the threat of drinking? Perhaps we still are at odds with how to handle sobriety. Reality is still difficult to cope with on its terms. All of us, sober or not, need the Advocate, the Holy Spirit to guide us on our way. He is the real “Higher Power,” the only One through whom God the Father guides and protects His own.

We have nine days of prayer and meditation before Pentecost Sunday. Spend the time wisely. Daily petition the Holy Spirit to help you. Reciting the prayer beginning each day’s novena is good, as well as adding your own humble requests.

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I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The Way, the Truth, and the Life

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The Gospel from today’s Mass for Friday of the 4th Week of Easter is a very hopeful and encouraging passage for people seeking a way out of alcoholism and addiction.

John 14:1-6;

Jesus said to his disciples: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be. Where I am going you know the way.” Thomas said to him, “Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

There are many paths to sobriety. Twelve Step movements and the newer alternative paths out of alcoholism and addiction help people cope with sobriety and being clean. Many people stop there, feeling that merely not drinking and drugging is enough. This is fine, particularly if your life as an drinker or user was for a very long time. (My drinking career was 10 years, not long by most standards.) Others feel that merely being clean and sober isn’t enough.

And so they go beyond sobriety movements and seek out a deeper spirituality. Many return to the religion of their youth in the hopes of returning to a path they were derailed off of. Others don’t bother and try new things.

I returned to the religion of my youth, Catholicism. To me, even during my fallen away days, it seemed that it was the real Christianity, that all others were well-meaning but inferior in some way. No disrespect intended, it was just my gut feeling.

Back to the Gospel reading from today. Jesus is the only true way to the Father, no one can get to Him except through Jesus. There may be other paths to salvation, but none, not one, has the guarantee of God Himself that if you follow His Son, you will be saved. This is the one sure reason to justify being a Christian, we alone have the roadmap to salvation written by God. And we Catholics have the Church He established to carry out and safeguard His teachings until He returns again to judge us all.

Twelve Step and alternative paths of recovery do the job they intend to do, with varying degrees of success. But they only cover a part of the problem. While they do a good job of keeping people clean and sober when the work, the tendency of people to just stay sober or follow an easy spiritual path because it is, well, easy, happens too often.

Jesus is the only sure path to salvation. He also came to heal the sick and the broken. His Church has the tools necessary for healing, just as Jesus Himself healed. These are the sacraments that He instituted, such as Holy Communion and Confession. Through prayer and meditation and the participation in these sacraments, we can be healed of our addictions to the point where they simply are not an option to use when things are difficult. In fact, a central point of Christianity, and in particular Catholicism, is that we must accept difficulties (i.e. suffering) as essential in being disciples of Christ. Catholic Christianity heals us, body and soul, in a manner far more complete and essential that mere sobriety programs. They may be useful tools in addition to Catholicism, but only deal with one area, your mental health. Your soul still needs work.

That is why nearly a year-and-a-half ago I started this blog. I had looked all over the web for Catholic sites dealing with sobriety, but found not much. No blogs or other readily updated and interactive sites. I had hoped to introduce people who are seeking a deeper spirituality than that offered by recovery movements the opportunity to see how the Catholic faith and spirituality can help you stay sober and more importantly, grow closer to God. That hope continues after some periods of inactivity these past 6 months. (Note to regular readers: That random inactivity may be over as I have settled into my new job and new life as a husband. From now on there shouldn’t be major interruptions to blogging, as a normal, albeit grander life has returned.)

Follow Jesus and His Church. Just as Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life, so is His Church (problems and all. The Truth and Holiness of the Catholic Church is found in her teachings, not the behavior of her members.) . If you’re new to reading Sober Catholic, take some time and randomly read articles in the archive. If you’ve been here before, regular blogging has (hopefully) returned.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Be made clean

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From the Gospel according to Luke, from today’s Mass (Friday after Epiphany) 
Luke 5:12-16;

Now there was a man full of leprosy in one of the towns where he was; and when he saw Jesus, he fell prostrate, pleaded with him, and said, “Lord, if you wish, you can make me clean.”

Jesus stretched out his hand, touched him, and said, “I do will it. Be made clean.” And the leprosy left him immediately.

Then he ordered him not to tell anyone, but “Go, show yourself to the priest and offer for your cleansing what Moses prescribed; that will be proof for them.”

The report about him spread all the more, and great crowds assembled to listen to him and to be cured of their ailments, but he would withdraw to deserted places to pray.



The man was instantly healed of leprosy. Would that our addiction of alcoholism be lifted immediately as well. No pain, no suffering (ours or anyone else’s) no loss of family, jobs, years and so on. No need to rebuild everything from the start in your 30’s or 40’s or 50’s and wonder if it’s too late. (Although people in recovery invariably enjoy that aspect of it, once there’s been a sustained period of sobriety. The idea of a fresh start is wonderful. Still, there may be a lingering feeling of “Why me?”, especially when you dwell to long on regrets.)
Anyway, such is not our doing. We cannot linger in the time-wasting exercise of regret, nor the “Why me?” attitude towards our alcoholism and addiction.
We can, however, approach  Jesus and ask for our healing and humbly wait for as long as it takes. Things are done in God’s time, and the process of healing may take as long as it does for our own benefit. We learn from it. Alcoholics and addicts are people who routinely want what we want, and we want it now. And when we get what we want, we sometimes forget what it was like before we got it. Our want was satiated, our lacking was satisfied and then we’re on to the next want. Nothing is learned.
People who are sincerely trying to recover from alcoholism and addiction through a spiritual method such as religion or a Twelve Step movement understand that things useful are earned and merited, not given.
Ask God in your prayer time not “Why me?”, but rather, “What are You trying to teach me in all this? What am I supposed to do with this? How is this bringing me closer to You and to others?” 
Then wait silently and listen, the answer may come soon.
I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Rains, Floods and Wind

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From the Gospel reading for today’s Mass:

Matthew 7:21,24-27;

Jesus said to his disciples:“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’will enter the Kingdom of heaven,but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.

“Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came,and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock. And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the floods came,and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined.”

Being Christian is not a part-time thing, something to be done for an hour on Sundays or when it is convenient. It is supposed to be something that we are 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is supposed to guide us in all events and situations.

Jesus is implying this when He differentiates between those who hear His words and lives by them versus those who only listen. Those who live by His teachings survive the buffetings of life, all the storms that rage against us. Those who do not will not.

What house of faith do we build? Is in one built on rock, so that when we are buffeted by trials, temptations, troubles and tribulations we survive, because we rest in Jesus and His teachings? Or is it a house of faith built upon sand, so that when the least amount of trouble comes, it collapses and falls because we relied upon our own strengths?

The former is the faith we Christians are supposed to possess, the faith that endures whatever is tossed at us by life; the latter is the faith of convenience, the faith that on the outside seems sincere and devoted, but is abandoned in trying times. A faith that is crushed by life. That is a faith that isn’t strong, so that it’s possessor abandons it for the seeming comfort of an addiction or a secular solution.

One of my main character defects that seems to uncomfortably linger on despite 5 and a half years of sobriety is impatience, frustration, and annoyance. I lump them all together because they are all a symptom or offshoot of pride. “Why should I have to endure this trial, this delay and whatnot? Don’t you realize who I am?” And therefore when something happens that offends my sense of how things should be ordered for my convenience, I get impatient, annoyed, irritable and the like. I usually work through it and come out much the better, but the lag time between the thing that triggered my impatience, etc., and my acceptance lasts too long, it seems. Granted, my “working through it” helps me to grow spiritually, but still the example could be better and the results do not justify the means.

Anyway, humility is the usual antidote to pride. I have to remind myself of my proper place in the Universe (there is a God and I’m not Him, I’m just a sinner with a computer) and struggle to do better. I try to place in my mind a training method that recognizes these prideful triggers and nip them in the bud as soon as I can. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. I’m a sinner and I recognize that.

Humility is a major theme for this Advent season. The obvious counter to any prideful resentment over having to endure a situation is to remind ourselves that God humbled Himself to become like us, so as to to eventually pay the price of the crime we committed, that of Original Sin. Jesus’ birth and death were two humiliating circumstances that He did not have to undergo. But He did for love of us. This needs to be meditated upon again and again during this season. (We get to do it again in a few months when Lent begins.)

We listen to Jesus’s words and we live by them. We humbly accept whatever happens to us, and hopefully calmness will be the response and not frustration and impatience. We rest in Jesus. “Our hearts are restless until we rest in Him,” is either a Scriptural quote or a saying of a Saint, I can’t place it either way. It is a struggle to overcome our failings, but somehow we have to learn to live like another Christ. And living means to breathe, eat, drink, love and think. We can eat and drink of the Eucharist, and love and think through prayer.

Continue on your Advent journey of preparing for Christ’s arrival.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

A Glutton and a Drunkard

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As usual, I cannot pass up posting when a Mass Reading refers to drunkenness. This time Jesus had been called a drunkard! See:

Luke 7:31-35;

Jesus said to the crowds: “To what shall I compare the people of this generation? What are they like? They are like children who sit in the marketplace and call to one another, ‘We played the flute for you, but you did not dance. We sang a dirge, but you did not weep.’ For John the Baptist came neither eating food nor drinking wine, and you said, ‘He is possessed by a demon.’ The Son of Man came eating and drinking and you said, ‘Look, he is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is vindicated by all her children.”

John the Baptist and Jesus came preaching and teaching the Truth. Not some political or social truth, but Truth. God’s Truth, as subsequently laid out in the Bible and defended and taught by the Church. Both John the Baptist and Jesus threatened the established political and social order with the Truth. This didn’t make them popular. Both were executed for doing so.

Prior to their physical execution however, their reputations and character were attacked. In essence, a character assassination or execution was attempted before their detractors realized that it wasn’t going to work and more drastic measure were called for.

This happen to you? You are living your life as you see fit to do so. You are new to sobriety and find that living according to the Catholic Faith and maybe also the 12 Steps is the ideal for you. (Or not new but have dealt with this in the past.) Others that you are leaving or have left behind because they either prefer to remain drinking and drugging, or just do not like the new person that you’ve become seek to tear you down.

They do not like a certain Truth. That Truth is that you have bettered your life, even if you are only starting to, and this represents to them a threat. Too many people are too comfortable wallowing in the morass that is their life. The suffering is too comfortable and they resent the idea of changing because it’s too hard. This suffering is not the redemptive kind, those crosses that you accept and offer up. Their suffering largely self-inflicted. Perhaps just like yours was back in the day before you said “Enough!” It seems easier to them to suffer and complain than to do something about it. They can’t pin anything on you apart from your past sins and indiscretions and so they just seek to tear you down.

Keep on doing what you are doing, leave them behind no matter how painful. New people will enter your life who will appreciate the new and improved you, and if they’ve travelled a crooked and broken path, they will understand you.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)