Category Archives: This Too Shall Pass

Clearing your mind of distractions

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There was a commercial that ran on American TV a decade ago. I do not remember for what product. Anyway, it featured Phil Jackson, the Head Coach of the Los Angeles Lakers, as a cab driver. Some high-powered looking lawyer/executive couple (man and woman) had simultaneously climbed into the back seat of his cab and gave differing destinations. If I recall, they were confused about them. Cabbie Phil spouted a New-Agey philosophical observation on “Clearing your mind of all distractions and focusing on the business at hand is pivotal.” (I wrote it down as I was in early sobriety and was keen on extracting bits of wisdom from any source. I copied it into my Big Book.)

Some other time, doesn’t matter when as I watched re-runs of it whenever I could, I saw an episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” entitled Birthright, Part II (Via Memory Alpha, the Star Trek Wiki.) In it, there is a scene in which Lt. Worf is doing the “mok’bara”, which I always took to be Klingon Tai chi chuan (Via Wikipedia.). As he is explaining the practice, he says “The form clears the mind, and centers the body.” (I wrote that down too, in my Big Book. Still in early sobriety at the time.)

Perhaps developing a ritual in that which is important come first: Matthew 6:33: “Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Via DRBO.)

Begin the day with prayer and meditation (See: Keeping Your Head on Straight, Part 1 (Regular Daily Prayer) and Keeping Your Head on Straight, Part 2 (Regular Daily Prayer)) Then write and blog for however long until the feeling of “being productive” hits.

Save email, RSS feeds and daily news reviewing as well as social network checking in for some time AFTER a measure of blogging and writing have been done. Same goes for all the “tools” for getting organized. Look at those at the end of the day to get an idea of what the next day holds and then glance at them after the hour or so of creative work.

The “form” clears the mind of all distractions and centers the body, so that focusing on the business at hand is possible. Huh. Maybe.

I just wrote Faithful in small matters. This is sort of a follow-up.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Faithful in small matters

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I am struggling with a few things. (So what else is new?) If I were to time travel back a few years and report on this to a past self this would be a little surprising to that old self given that I am more successful in life now than I had been in any previous period.

The main thing I am struggling with is time for my writing and blogging. I have a full-time job consisting of four shifts, each of ten hours. Add to that the time for the commute and a nice home life, four days out of my week are accounted for. The remaining three days never seem like enough to do what I need and want. “Wow! I have 3 days off!” Real life things seem to crop up, as they do for everyone. This isn’t a complaint, just an observation. I actually like real life. It is just a bit messy. My real life has a lot of neat things in it that kind of get in the way of my creative efforts. But real writers and bloggers have that stuff going on, too, and they seem to have time for their creative work.

Two words: “Time management”.

I can do better with that. One thing I had contemplated was changing jobs (never easy for me) to one that is a more normal one of 5, eight hour days.

But the thought occurred to me that this would give me just more time to do non-writing things. “Work expands to fill the time allotted it” is a saying I found sometime ago. I think it is also true that “anything” expands to fill the time allotted it. Or, the conflicting thought that in working 5 days I would have one more day to be too tired from work and not write or blog that day, either, as well as having real life stuff take up more of the two remaining days.

I can be complicated, especially in regards to time.

Which comes back to those two words: “time management”.

So, how to do that? There’s all sorts of “Getting Things Done” courses and computer applications to help you better organize your time. Yeah, like they would work for me.

I was in Eucharistic Adoration (my weekly Holy Hour) and the following scriptural passage drifted across my brain:

Matthew 25:21: “His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy.'”

(Via USCCB.)

It was the ending of the parable of the talents, in which a Master gave 3 servants different amounts of money, 2 of them did well with the gifts and were rewarded with more, one failed and was punished.

So, in thinking of that, I decided that time can be treated in this manner. Make the most out of the gift of time that you have and do not squander it. I am aware that this is no stunningly original realization, millions have latched onto this notion as a motivating factor to do things before they run out of time. But this is from a Christian angle. We are given a limited amount of time on Earth. We are all called to do God’s will and to help establish the kingdom of God here on Earth. Treat time as a currency that we invest in building God’s kingdom on Earth so that ultimately we are rewarded with the greeting from the passage.

Rather than asking for more time to do certain things like write and blog, perhaps instead I shall endeavor to make the best use of the time I already have. Maybe in doing this, a better job opportunity may somehow present itself to me in which I will have subsequently more hours to write and blog. (Such as online writing work that pays?)

I am not treating this as an “if/then” statement. Like: “If I write more with the time I already have available, then God will give me a better job.” That’s simplistic and formulaic. But perhaps the more disciplined life that results from this will have a correspondingly more productive effect on other areas of life, especially writing and blogging.

This isn’t the first time I’ve tried “time management”, but perhaps things were too chaotic for my meager attempts before. Life is somewhat more stable (relatively speaking). Anyway, as long as one always picks oneself up after a fall, failure can’t be conceded.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Faith and Transitions

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Over the past few months there have been a number of ongoing transitions in my life. Changes at work and such were particularly debilitating, and I feared the ability to cope with it all. This is just a short post as I am testing something out with this blog, and I just needed to quickly state something simple and obvious. That if it wasn’t for my faith might not have made it through as well as I did. I used the “trials” as a way to learn about myself and my relationship with God, and how through prayer, you really do establish a partnership with the Lord.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Crucible of Faith

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Earlier this month I wrote: Just enough. This is a sequel.

The reason I am writing this sequel is that I need to expound somewhat on the “suffering” aspect of that post. Although you might think that there would be increased confidence in relying on Divine Providence, there is a lag time between when the suffering (worrying) begins and when you realize that you are getting “just enough.” The lag time varies, perhaps from situation to situation and from person to person. It all depends on the strength of your Faith and how often in the past you have allowed suffering to strengthen it.

We have two spiritual options when faced with suffering. We can reject it or accept it. The World tells us to reject it. The spiritually ignorant or weak will feel that God should reward the faithful, as if that is proof of His love. These people perhaps do not discipline their children or admonish friends all that much. Suffering is painful, pain is bad and should be avoided.

Or we can accept, for as Christians we are called to follow Christ, since He said:

Luke 9:23: “Then he said to all, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

To deny ourselves sounds like we must essentially run counter to our basic instinct of self-preservation. Suffering threatens our survival, and so therefore we must shun it. But we are not animals, subject to instinct, we are made in the image and likeness of God and as “…God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life,” (John 3:16) so we must reflect that love in return and trust in Him, like a child trusts in his or her earthly father.

The pain and uncertainty of material want, such as financial worries of various kinds, has a very debilitating effect on faith. Faith is not material, it can’t feed you physical food or pay the bills. It can feed you and provide courage for tough times, but as I stated earlier, there may be that lag time before it kicks in. And how do you get through that lag time, when your faith is threatened by overwhelming worries and concerns?

Anyone can have strong faith when things are going well. It isn’t hard to trust in God and have faith that things will be all right when they already are. It is when you are struggling to pay the bills, the truck and SUV need repairing (and both are old), and housing expenses are perhaps out of reach… in these times try to keep the faith.

These times can serve as a crucible, a forge or winepress that purifies and strengthens the faith. Purify it from all insincerity and falsehood, or refining it for some divine purpose. Strengthen it for tough times ahead (the World is increasingly unfriendly to Christianity in general, and Catholicism in particular).

Psalm 66:10: “You tested us, O God, tried us as silver tried by fire.”

1 Peter 1:7: “In this you rejoice, although now for a little while you may have to suffer through various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold that is perishable even though tested by fire, may prove to be for praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

We can cut and run when it gets tough, when our daily troubles feel overwhelming and no end appears in sight. We can abandon our Faith and resort to unethical or immoral solutions to our problems, or if not that then destroy the relationships about us with our fear, anger and anxiety.

Or we can offer it up to God, take it one day at a time, assume He is in charge despite the mess and grow as people. Men develop the masculine strength to bear the burden and “slay the terror” and be the emotional rock upon which others can depend on, and women can see this as a time to become even more nurturing and caring in order to assist others around them to maintain a sense of peace and stability.

It is not easy accomplishing this, it takes time and perseverance. And a refusal to reject suffering. Perseverance will help you also later in life on your deathbed.

Faith can help keep your wits about you when all others are losing theirs.

Matthew 6:19-21,24-27: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.

“No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?”

You cannot ignore these problems. Like I said in the “Just Enough” post, “It does NOT mean that you pray for something and “BOING!” you get it.” You have to work for it, plan for it. But you have a partner, and that is God. He works in partnership with us, and with others. We do not know everything that is going on. A solution to your time of troubles could be developing as you read this and suddenly present itself.

Philippians 4:6-7: “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

I think in the context of this post that “the peace… that surpasses all understanding” is what keeps you faith strong and your wits about you.

You are not alone:

1 Peter 5:7-10: “Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you. Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for (someone) to devour. Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings. The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ (Jesus) will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little.”

You suffer, and will recover. You will get through it. Somehow. Any alcoholic and addict reading this should understand.

Be “steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings.”

May the peace of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be with you all.

All Scripture quotes courtesy: USCCB.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Happiness from People, Places and Things

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A realization came to me at work a few weeks ago. I transferred to a new place within my company, and I had been undergoing a somewhat painful transition. I was wondering about why we have to endure certain things. I know I’ve written a great number of times about the need to accept suffering as evidence of our willingness to follow Christ, but at times I still wonder about happiness, and its place in our lives.

I think that happiness is illusory, we cannot depend upon others too much for our happiness, and if we look inward we become self-indulgent and then block out other people. Places change. The things of this world are passing, we cannot depend upon them either.

People come and go, the things of this world fade away, too. Some people stay with you for a long time, but they are a minority.

Places deteriorate, or you have to leave them for other places.

Things that the world offers are definitely not a source of happiness, at least not long-term healthy kind. They tend to take you away from God and the spiritual.

The only true source of happiness comes from following God’s will as best as one can discern it and following that will to Heaven, our true and eternal home.

It is sometimes necessary then for Christians to be “disconnected” from the world, to be “in the world”, but not “of it”. We participate in it, but realize that it is only a way station, and not a place of permanence.

Not sure where I’m going with all this, as it isn’t original or deeply profound, but pondering it helped me get through some trying times at work. Perhaps it was a needed shift in perspective.

NOTE: This was published a few years ago on one of my other, now defunct blogs. I am reposting it here, slightly edited for some updating. Interesting how you realize things all over again.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Just enough

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Quite often over the past few years I have been given lessons by God Himself on the importance of trusting in Him and His Providence. “Divine Providence” is basically God taking care of you. It does NOT mean that you pray for something and “BOING!” you get it. How you obtain what you need (not want) varies but essentially you trust in the Lord and cooperate with His will, and your basic needs are met. There may be a lag time in when you obtain the need, (“I want what I want, and I want it now!”) or in the perceived quality (“I want a MacBookPro! You mean I gotta settle for an ASUS netbook? AAARRRGH!!”) and so on. But if you look back and humbly assess the situation, you will find that although your wants were not satisfied, your needs were met.

Recently I’ve discussed this with my wife, and we basically refer to this phenomenon as getting “Just enough.” We have “just enough” to get by. We may be a little iffy for next month or the one after that, but somehow we have “just enough” to meet our current needs. The future may be dark, but right now the lights are still on.

We rely on Divine Providence. Sure, it would be nice to have a cushion. But this includes God more in our lives, as there is a partnership with us. This seems to be how He works. He did not need us, but we were created anyway. God’s will seems to quite often involve our cooperation. Sure, He can just will something to happen and solve something. But now, instead He chooses to involve us. Perhaps doing so respects the gift of free will.

One of the first major situations when I started keeping track was a few years ago after my Mom died. I was working as a part-time janitor for my local parish. My priest “just happened” to need someone around for light maintenance work just after Mom died (turns out the previous guy left for something else full time, if I recall correctly. My priest also knew someone who “just happened” to have an available apartment, which would come in handy as I was about to be kicked out of my Mom’s old house.) Anyway, my car needed a new muffler. Badly. I did not have the money for a new one. I had spoken to my priest about financial difficulties and he gave me a basic raise. But still, I would not have enough cash for the muffler.

Payday arrives. I get my paycheck, and it turns out the pay included the raise retroactive for the previous pay period, not the upcoming one as you’d expect. It provided me with “just enough” money to get the new muffler.

This does not always happen to the faithful. Something like this also happened a long time ago when I was a “spiritual seeker”. I believed in God but not religion, but apart from believing in Him I paid Him little attention.

A job I had when I lived in Southern California had just ended. One of the perks I had as the employee was an apartment (right near the beach, like a block in!) Naturally, when the job ended so did the lease. So, all of a sudden I was facing unemployment and eviction. Within the space of maybe 2-3 days just before Thanksgiving 1993 I had obtained a job through a temp agency and an apartment (still near the beach, but a block farther in.) This blew my mind, that I was able to accomplish that so suddenly. Street savvy/life-survival skills were not my strength, and accomplishing this made me proud.

(Unfortunately, the job led me to meet a woman I had a disastrous romantic situation with, which I reacted to by altering my drinking habits from occasionally social to daily coping. But that may or may not be another post.)

It could also happen in little things. The event that caused me to start thinking about this post happened yesterday when I finally planted our vegetable garden. I had “just enough” plants for the garden space I dug, “just enough” fencing and fence posts to lay around it, “just the right size” pallet for the garden gate. Nothing major, but it got me thinking.

So:

Matthew 6: 24-34

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?

Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.

But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.

If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or ‘What are we to drink?’ or ‘What are we to wear?’

All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.

Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

(Via USCCB.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

“The Road of Happy Destiny”

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I have always like the phrase in AA’s “Big Book”, (a/k/a Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 2001) that refers to “The Road of Happy Destiny.”

It is found in a line in page 164. It reads:

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past… We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.

I’ve always liked that line about the Road. It’s mentioned a lot in AA meetings. I like its imagery of the path of sobriety being an ongoing one with a destination, and that recovery and conversion are lifelong events.

It has helped me to learn that answers to problems do not arrive quickly, that as slowly problems develop, so do their resolutions. Life is a road, there are potholes and you get around them.

The “Happy Destiny” part helps me to raise my head up and know that the race isn’t won with just not drinking. We will die someday and what happens next is something to think about. It is why my Catholicism is indispensable to me. Catholicism liberates you from the constraints of contemporary times.

The “here and now” is fleeting. We are all meant for something better, both now and for all eternity. We were meant for more than just “not drinking.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Treating addictions as if they were a bad habit

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I chanced upon an interesting article that proposes a relatively “easy” take on beating addictions:

You Don’t Need Help to Beat an Addiction or a Bad Habit—Just Yourself

(Via Lifehacker.)

The central premise of this idea is contained in the article’s third paragraph, which basically treats addictions like they are bad habits, and you have to recognize the immediate bad effects they are having on your life.

The notion is related to ideas that addictions are not a disease or genetic disorder, such as mentioned here: Alcoholism is not a Disease and here: Myth of an ‘Addict Gene’ (Courtesy of Addiction Info.)

First, you have to realize that whatever the addiction is, it is causing you problems. Then you have to consider all the bad effects that the addiction is having on your life, right now. This is key, according to the article. It is easier to consider the immediate now rather than the long term later. This is understood by all addicts and alcoholics, “we want what we want, and we want it now.”

Once you realize the bad effects that the addiction is having on your life, focus and amplify those bad feelings, and eventually your behavior will change. Sort of like do-it-yourself aversion therapy.

Nice, in theory.

In short, to a serious addict this may sound like: “My drinking is bad. Really bad. It is messing up my life, my home life is being ruined by it, I’m about to lose my job, and losing all this will destroy me. OK, so if I focus on these bad feelings of losing all this stuff, I will start to prefer the things I am about to lose, and be less interested in drinking.” I am thinking that a person who is seriously in the grips of an addiction will find it difficult to follow along that line of rational thought.

Addicts generally feel that their addiction is helping them to cope with their problems, and only after much suffering and loss might they come around to the idea that their addiction is the source. By this time their mind and will is so affected by the addiction that it might prove difficult to realize the truth of their problem’s cause. The immediate gratification effect of drinking or using again may prove easier than mentally contemplating how this “habit” is destroying their life. Doing that may just generate more internal conflict: “I want a drink” combined with “No, this is bad, it is costing me such and such” may just yield a desire to drink again to ease the pain. The idea also assumes that the addict must seriously believe that the addiction is worse than their daily living activities. There may be a preference for the addiction versus the healthy life, if they feel that their healthy life has little value.

Support groups organized to reinforce this thinking that the immediate effect is bad could assist as I doubt that any serious addict could accomplish this on their own.

There is merit in the idea. It is an excellent way to avert sinful behavior. We all vow to have a “firm purpose of amendment” when we go to Confession. This idea sounds reminiscent of aids to maintaining virtue as proposed by various saints. Be vigilant on the destructive nature of sin, as it applies to your life now.

Anyway, it is something to mull over.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Strengthen my spirit

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This excerpt from the Responsorial Psalm for Thursday of the First Week of Lent is a hopeful reminder for us alcoholics and addicts about where help can reliably come from:

Psalm 138:3:“When I cried out, you answered; you strengthened my spirit.”

(Via USCCB.)

Cry out to the Lord for help when things seem dark, when a drink seems to offer a way out. He will strengthen your spirit if you are humble and willing.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Beatitudes on CatholicPreachy.com

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Earlier today I wrote that I was going to post more on the Beatitudes, as the “Sermon on the Mount” was today’s Gospel Reading at Mass. Well, I did, however I was inspired to write the additional material at another blog that I help administer and write for. That blog is CatholicPreachy. I’ll talk about that blog later on, but it is a wonderful endeavor that I share with a friend.

Anyway, just click on the link below, and read the four posts I wrote over there, today. (One is actually at “The Four Last Things”, but a link on CP will take you there.) Thanks!

Beatitudes on CatholicPreachy.com

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)