Category Archives: Depression

Hurt people hurt people

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I often run across memes online with the phrase “Hurt people hurt people.” This means that people who have been hurt turn around and hurt others. It is assumed that since they’ve never experienced any healing from the hurt, or even justice for it, the  wound festers and they respond by hurting others.

I sympathize with the rationale behind “hurt people hurt people.” It’s hard to be sensitive to other people’s pain when your own has never been completely healed, or the ones who hurt you seem to continue on happy and healthy as if nothing happened.

I do not always think that the pain rendered unto me by the actions of my family after my Mom died in 2005 has ever been completely dealt with, and certainly “justice” (however that is defined) has never been enacted. Nor has the pain from the trauma my sister visited upon me in 1995 been dealt with (I thought I had blogged about that incident, but I can’t find any post on it. So be it, let it rest, for now. 2025 is the 20th and 30th anniversaries of many traumas. The dates are coming up in a coiuple of months.) For all of that, it’s easy for me at times to be resentful and less than empathic towards others. I am a hurt person who once in a while hurts others. Bear in mind that everyone does this; but at least I know the source of where it comes from. We all walk around broken and wounded. The wounds are there; some healed over, others not so much. 

It is obvious from all this that people need healing, and that access to effective and affordable mental health resources is imperative. Also, people need to embrace forgiveness. If a hurt person cannot get access to mental health resources, then “forgiveness” may help as far as it goes.

There is one method by which a person who has been hurt can find healing and perhaps justice as well. Although much patience is required.

“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay.”

That is a passage from the Bible. You can’t get a better method of justice than God going to bat for you and doing unto others what should be done unto them.

St. Paul refers to it explicitly in his Letter to the Romans:

Romans 12: 17-19

“Render to no one harm for harm. Provide good things, not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of all men.

If it is possible, in so far as you are able, be at peace with all men.

Do not defend yourselves, dearest ones. Instead, step aside from wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is mine. I shall give retribution, says the Lord.”

St. Paul was quoting (“For it is written”) the Book of Deuteronomy 32:35: “Vengeance is mine, and I will repay them in due time, so that their foot may slip and fall.” 

Granted, this is something that will happen “in God’s time;” and while we would rather those who’ve hurt us to get their comeuppance in our lifetime (and quickly!) and maybe even being able to witness it; this is one of those things that it is better to wait for. God’s justice is sweeter when it happens when it’s supposed to. 

It is also important to note that the people on whom God will wreak His vengeance and justice on are those who are unrepentant. I think that if those who’ve hurt you realize the gravity of their actions and repent, even if they do not outright make amends to you, “somehow” God will pass a healing on to you. (Based on this, my family hasn’t repented; I have passed out of family history, mostly fogotten and unregarded. At best, a footnote mentioned at gatherings.)

Another Scripture verse harkens to this vengeance:

Psalm 23:5 “You set a table before me in front of my enemies…”

What better vengeance than for God to bestow His blessings on you in the sight of those who’ve hurt you? This could be in this life; your ‘enemies’ witnessed you moving on from the pain they’ve caused and you seem (outwardly, at least) unharmed.

But it could also be in the next life. You die and enter Heaven, joining in the celebrations of the “wedding feast of the Lamb (Rev 19:1-10).” That incredible eternal feast which takes place after the Second Coming and the final triumph of good over evil and the resurrection of the dead, where all the faithful gather in joyous union with the glorified Christ.

Just think about the possibility of your unrepentant and unforgiven enemies witnessing this from the tortures of Hell (which I think may be one way to increases their suffering.) These are the people who have willfully done you serious harm; whether it be crimes such as physical or psychological abuse, or something else (neglect, bigotry, prejudice…) They have also probably harmed many others. Now they are paying the price for their sins and deservedly so. 

Take heart, of sorts: there is no need for you to nurture the pain with in you as a reminder of past injuries, dwelling on the injustices done unto you and dreaming of a way to get even; or, worse, spread the pain onto others by treating them the same way you had been. For when a “hurt person” “hurts others,” they are no better than those who’ve hurt them. Worse, even for they know the pain and should be sensitive to that pain in others.

Leave it up to God. He knows exactly why those people hurt you. He knows what’s in their hearts and souls and He alone can wreak proper justice. If that includes Divine Vengerance, so be it. Better Him than you. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Divine Mercy Sunday 2025

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(NOTE: This is combined from previous posts on Divine Mercy Sunday)

This Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday. I do hope that you take advantage of the tremendous source of healing, forgiveness and grace that this day brings. It is a feastday established by Pope St. John Paul II in 2000 when he canonized a Polish nun who had received messages (or “interior locutions”) from Jesus in the 1930’s. (These are an accepted part of Catholicism, although not binding upon the faithful. Apparitions like those at Lourdes and Fatima and messages such as those received by Sr. Faustina (now Saint Faustina) do not add anything new to God’s Revelation to humanity. They are merely signs that the Good Shepherd is doing His work and is reminding us of certain necessary things. Quite often apparitions and locutions occur during critical moments in human history, indicating that the Lord’s “sheep” are going astray and He is coming after them.)

Jesus’ messages to St. Faustina concern God’s immense love for people and His boundless “ocean of Mercy” to which we are all entitled. No matter how dirtied we are by the sins of our past, when we dip into the ocean of Mercy we are scrubbed clean. God’s mercy is available to us for the asking, and is the source of immeasurable graces.

The devotion and practice of Divine Mercy is critical, I think, to anyone in recovery. It fixes our brokenness and mends our wounded souls. It teaches us that God is a loving Father, that Jesus is our brother and the Holy Spirit our infallible guide.

It was important to me, and critical in my recovery and how my Catholic Faith became more important than the Twelve Steps in maintaining my sobriety.

I had drifted away from the Catholic Church in 1987 thinking that religion was just human nonsense designed by the powerful to control people. I never doubted or disbelieved in God’s existence, as I’ve always regarded atheism as a supremely irrational and stupid human notion. I did feel, nevertheless, that religion was pointless. Anyway, to make a long story short, I drank to excess, abused it, and ended up returning to live with my Mom for 10 years. Originally I was to be her caregiver (my alcoholism was manageable), but for a while I was the person being cared for. (See also Drunkalogue.) My Mom watched EWTN a lot. Aside from the Daily Mass, from which I got a daily injection of Truth and sensibility from the sermons, she also watched the “Chaplet of Divine Mercy” each morning. She eventually taught it to me, particularly around Divine Mercy Sunday.

I think it was her daily praying of the Chaplet that brought me back into the Church. It also was, and continues through this day, to be a source of healing and mercy.

This is important to us Catholic alcoholics and addicts. We are so broken and wounded from our past. For many the past is just too much and they never fully escape from its haunting.

The all-encompassing nature of Divine Mercy heals our souls and enables us to draw upon the endless reservoir of God’s Mercy. It is a tremendous aid in our spiritual growth and progress. It led me back into the Catholic Church, with Her fullness of the Gospel Truth and the sacramental life and graces. It helps you to achieve a more fuller life.

To whet your appetite, the following are two important excerpts on Divine Mercy Sunday from St. Faustina’s Diary, “Divine Mercy in My Soul,” where she wrote down her spiritual experiences during the 1930s when Jesus was communicating with her by interior locutions (the numbers refer to the paragraphs in the Diary where they can be found.)

300 ... on this day, tell the whole world of My great mercy; that whoever approaches the Fount of Life on this day will be granted complete remission of sins and punishment. Mankind will not have peace until it turns with trust to My mercy. Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul’s distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness. My Heart rejoices in this title of Mercy. 699 … My daughter, tell the whole world about My inconceivable mercy. I desire that the Feast of Mercy be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My mercy. The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment. On that day all the divine floodgates through which grace flow are opened. Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity. Everything that exists has come forth from the very depths of My most tender mercy. Every soul in its relation to Me will contemplate My love and mercy throughout eternity. The Feast of Mercy emerged from My very depths of tenderness. It is My desire that it be solemnly celebrated on the first Sunday after Easter. Mankind will not have peace until it turns to the Fount of My Mercy.

Much of this you can obtain at other times of the year; you can receive a plenary indulgence by going to Confession just before Mass, as well as on other designated days (Holy Days of Obligation.) A plenary indulgence is, according to the website of the Catholic Bishop’s of the United States:

“Furthermore, for reception of a plenary indulgence, which grants the remission of all temporal punishment due to sin, in addition to this good work or act of devotion, the Church specifies four conditions: (1) sacramental confession, (2) reception of Holy Communion, (3) prayer for the intentions of the Holy Father, and (4) complete detachment from all sin, even venial sin. It must not be thought, however, that such acts of ours are somehow of themselves sufficient to earn the remission of the temporal punishment for sins. Our efforts, themselves the work of God’s grace, express our openness to receive God’s mercy. In the work of our salvation, it is always God’s grace that is primary, with a power that far exceeds all our efforts.”

Courtesy: USCCB

The key elements of the Divine Mercy Devotion are:

Please click on each of those links to learn more! You can also click on this: Divine Mercy to explore anything else I wrote on it.

The Divine Mercy Devotion, and Divine Mercy Sunday, are perfect for those of us broken, bruised, and wounded by life, our sins, and our addictions. Throw yourself into the arms of God’s Merciful Love. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Jude Thaddeus: the Forgotten

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OK, so in my previous post I had written a prayer based on a traditional one that claimed St. Jude was confused with the traitor Judas due to the similarity in names. I didn’t have the prayer handy but was certain that’s how it read. I was wrong. It read that he was forgotten by many. Oh, well. I’m keeping it because I do think people got them confused. I wrote a new one based on this corrected context:

I think that this is further evidence that St. Jude is a leading advocate and intercessor for us. In the throes of our addiction, we were often shunned by family and friends and others. Perhaps rightfully so, given our behavior. Nevertheless, this contributed to our dehumanization. Numbering among the lost, the lonely, being hopeless and desparing of ever having a normal and complete life, we entered the realm of the forgotten. Matt Talbot experienced this; he had no money to buy beer at his favorite Dublin pub and his friends turned him away. This caused him to turn his life around, to ‘take the pledge.’ 

The emotions experienced when you feel this way, that you are a non-person, may be the bottom oft-spoken of. That “jumping off place,” where you know that if you continue to drink you will die, but if you stop drinking, you may onky wish for death. And so a glimmer of hope begins to glow…

You’ve been there. Take for a moment and think back to those dark times when you were caught in the grips of loneliness and despair. 

I wish I had developed a devotion to St. Jude long before this week. There have been countless times where I had felt so alone, llost and forgotten. Granted, we can always turn to Jesus and Mary (and I did,) but to have a specific saint,an apostle no less, who is the advocate of the despairing and alone. (Dear Paulcoholic: May I remind you of your devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows? No one’s feeling of sorrow and hurt was as great as Our Blessed Mother’s as she contemplated her Son’s eventual Passion and death. Not to mention what she went through as she actually experienced it. Dear Conscience: OK, yeah, I know  all that. But what I love about Catholic devotional spirituality is that it is designed for everyone in whatever state they’re in, “where they’re at,” so to speak. Reaching out to the Blessed Mother may be difficult for some. But there’s this other guy, see…. Dear Paulcoholic: Point taken. Carry on.)

By the way, if you like the image I added to this post, it, and others like it are (or soon will be) available at my Shop Sober Catholic storefront over on Sober Catholic Pixels site. There are a few products there already, more will be added tonight through this weekend. I would love it if you’d patronize it. I can use the funds. If you’d like to donate through PayPal, the link is here: PayPal Paul Sofranko. This is the third in an ongoing series of solicitaions to help my wife and I get through some financial stresses. Between a  combination of underemployment, health issues, sales of one book not being very good, and other factors, we are in a tight money crunch. I have been praying to St. Jude very intensely this week for the alleviation of these issues. If PayPal isn’t your thing, you can also mail a check, payable to: Paul Sofranko; and send it to: P.O. Box 358; North Boston, NY 14110.

Another way to help is by purchasing my books and online products. You can purchase for yourself or multiple copies for others that might be interested. My new book, “The Sober Catholic Way” comes as an ebook for Amazon Kindle, or as a paperback from Amazon. If you prefer Barnes and Noble, then here is the link for a paperback; and if you have a B&N Nook, here is the Nook purchase link. 

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It is also now available at numerous other ebook retailers like Apple Books and Smashwords. You might also try this Universal Book Link: click and then select the logo of your fave online bookshop.

Click on this page to discover where you can buy The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts. 

UntitledImage 7.

It’s available through Amazon, B&N and Apple, as well as Smashwords and other retailers. 

The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is also available; that page tells you all the places you can buy it!

UntitledImage 8.

Are you creative-minded? Know people who are? Then Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better! (This is the book I referred to above as not selling very well.)

 

“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” is a call to arms, or rather, a call to pens, paintbrushes, and video cameras, for creative Catholics to take up St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe’s call to infiltrate pop culture and help alleviate the ills that pervade contemporary society. St. Maximilian saw back in the 1920s how the use of cinema, radio, and mass-market books was corrupting society. He thought that those same tools could be used as a countercultural force to overcome this corruption. 

Furthermore, it explains through the example of three critical apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary at Guadalupe, Lourdes, and Fatima how she herself suggested strategies and alternatives to the dehumanizing and increasingly pagan contemporary culture we have today.

“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” concludes by showing how the Catholic Faith can be used to provide a road map out of our current morass and a blueprint to build a more just and fair society constructed according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy and other elements of traditional Catholic Social Teachings.

Get it for your Amazon Kindle through this link!

Prefer the paperback? Get it through this link!

Thank you for reading this far, as well as for whatever assistance you can provide. It is greatly appreciated and I will add you to my prayers. St. Jude may also appreciate your cooperating with him in this…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Jude Thaddeus, Apostle and patron saint of alcoholics and addicts

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Today (Oct. 28) is the feast day of St. Jude Thaddeus (it’s also shared with St. Simon the Zealot, but St. Jude is the subject of this post.)

St. Jude was one of the Apostles of Our Lord and is the author of the Epistle of Jude in the New Testament. He is often called the “brother of Our Lord,” but this is an extended meaning of the term “brother,” in reality Jude was the cousin of Jesus as Semitic languages lack the word for “cousin.” He is often depicted with having a flame about his head; this symbolizes his presence at the first Pentecost and also distinguishes him from Judas Iscariot, the traitor of Jesus, who is quite likely covered in flames of a different sort. St. Jude is also often depicted with a plate or shield with Jesus’ image on it; legend has that he carried this with him and it healed people.

He was martyred by beheading circa 65AD.

I’ve never had all that much of a devotion to St. Jude, mainly because there is so much pop Catholic cultural “stuff” about him. Prayer cards and booklets and so on readily available in parishes, items in the classified sections of newspapers in response to favors granted (and that you are guaranteed a favorable response to your St. Jude novena if you promise to publish the novena for nine consecutive days. This is borderline superstitious as prayer doesn’t really work that way.) All this served to be a little “off-putting” for me, and despite having tons of these prayer cards stashed in a wooden box where I keep excess pious items, I never gave him much thought. 

Until yesterday and today. I have been trying to recruit more saints and blesseds to intercede for us alcoholics. For that reason, as well as that I am compiling a prayer book for sober Catholics and I want it to exceed expectations by having numerous saints in there that people do not know about (or who are not typically associated with ex-drunks; St. Dismas is one. ) While I was pondering him yesterday, St. Rita of Cascia also came to mind as she’s important to me (there is a point to this, please bear with me.) She is known as the patronness of impossible cases, just like St. Jude. (Maybe that’s another reason why I never developed much of a devotion to him?) But yesterday I got to thinking about St. Jude, and decided that another saint dedicated to helping hopeless cases could work. He and St. Rita could team up. Based on where I’m at right now (more on that later) I decided to think about cultivating a relationship with him. And I let that slide until today. 

And so I looked through that wooden box where I’ve kept all those “excess pious items” and found a bunch of prayer cards. I read them over and they hit me. Yes, I need his help. AND I can begin blogging about him now and then and perhaps those of you who do not have a devotion to him can see the value in it. 

And so I just recruited St. Jude to be an advocate and patron saint of alcoholics and addicts. The thought occurred to me that what with all the devotions surrounding him regarding being the patron saint of hopeless and desperate cases, he’d be a perfect intercessor for us. Now we alcoholics and addicts have TWO Apostles in our corner, the other being St. Matthias.

I mentioned a few paragraphs above about “where I’m at.” Due to a variety of circumstances, things are a bit stressed financially at the moment, although they should improve come Springtime when Social Security begins for me and my wife and I begin the process of relocating to a more affordable residence. If you’d like to help out by assisting in bridging the gap between now and then, you can do that in two ways:

One, by paypalling me whatever you can spare at: PayPal Paul Sofranko. Thank you! (It is NOT tax-deductible. It wouldn’t be an act of charity, then.) You can also mail a check, payable to: Paul Sofranko; and send it to: P.O. Box 358; North Boston, NY 14110.

Two: by purchasing my books and online products. You can purchase for yourself or multiple copies for others that might be interested. My new book, “The Sober Catholic Way” comes as an ebook for Amazon Kindle, or as a paperback from Amazon. If you prefer Barnes and Noble, then here is the link for a paperback; and if you have a B&N Nook, here is the Nook purchase link. 

00000 TSCWBookCover 1 scaled e1727404661851.

It is also now available at numerous other ebook retailers like Apple Books and Smashwords. You might also try this Universal Book Link: click and then select the logo of your fave online bookshop.

Click on this page to discover where you can buy The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts. 

UntitledImage 7.

It’s available through Amazon, B&N and Apple, as well as Smashwords and other retailers. 

The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is also available; that page tells you all the places you can buy it!

UntitledImage 8.

Are you creative-minded? Know people who are? Then Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better!

 

“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” is a call to arms, or rather, a call to pens, paintbrushes, and video cameras, for creative Catholics to take up St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe’s call to infiltrate pop culture and help alleviate the ills that pervade contemporary society. St. Maximilian saw back in the 1920s how the use of cinema, radio, and mass-market books was corrupting society. He thought that those same tools could be used as a countercultural force to overcome this corruption. 

Furthermore, it explains through the example of three critical apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary at Guadalupe, Lourdes, and Fatima how she herself suggested strategies and alternatives to the dehumanizing and increasingly pagan contemporary culture we have today.

“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” concludes by showing how the Catholic Faith can be used to provide a road map out of our current morass and a blueprint to build a more just and fair society constructed according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy and other elements of traditional Catholic Social Teachings.

Get it for your Amazon Kindle through this link!

Prefer the paperback? Get it through this link!

Are you a happy Sober Catholic? Then Shop Sober Catholic! That page offers a selction from the many other products, such as T-shirts, mugs, rosary cases and zippered book cases, stickers for your laptop, smartphone cases, and much more! You can see the entire product line at The Sober Catholic Pixels Shop!

I just added some new products, including some featureing St. Jude and a prayer I wrote for alcoholcs and addicts! (It may not be available, yet, so please check back later. Actually, I will probably blog about it when it hits the general public.)

Thank you for reading this far, as well as for whatever assistance you can provide. It is greatly appreciated and I will add you to my prayers.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

I went on a retreat this weekend and didn’t even realize it

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I went on a retreat this weekend and didn’t even realize it.

I’ve been feeling a combination of being ‘sorry for myself’ and dealing with recurring stress and anxiety (who isn’t these days?) Much of my stress is over chronic pain (fibromyalgia, arthritis, osteoarthritis… if it’s a muscle or a joint, it hurts. And hurts really bad, too. Plus I’ve had two tooth extractions over the past month. Can anyone say “Broken down, crotchety old man?” Not to mention that I’ve been plagued for the past few months by a voice in my head that has been repeatedly putting me down.

When this happens and I want to remain at home, I often select one of Mother Angelica’s books. I’ve written about this before .

And so I opened Mother Angelica’s Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality and read a few passages on pain, meaning accepting it and the benefits of offering it up. I knew all this as I continually ‘offer it up’ for the usual devotional suggestions (reparation for sins – mine, yours, other people’s; reparations for sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary; for the conversion of sinners; for saving souls…….)

And so I felt better. But I could feel even more better. So I watched a few of her classic programs on EWTN On-Demand. I caught one on using the scraps of your life. “Scraps,” according to Mother, are those things in your past that you cannot let go of. All the mistakes, the stupid, rotten, bad things you’ve done or were done to you,  traumas perpetrated against you, and so forth that still haunt you. I know all about scraps; they are the fuel for my fiction writing. I am a firm believer that writing is a form a therapy. Even if you don’t publish a word, creating stories in which you dump all the dumb things you’ve ever done or traumas you’ve experienced to flesh out characters and backstory helps your perspective on them. It also objectifies the pain. But she went on about how the scraps can be used to sanctify yourself. That the scraps of you past life can make you sensitive other people who also are carrying bags of scraps. People who are hurt often are more sensitive to other people who are hurt. 

That latter sentence is where I have some difficulty at times. I’ve seen social media memes that say something like “Hurt people hurt other people.” Meaning that hurt people often lash out at others. Their pain causes them to make others feel pain. (This is often the reason why the ‘bad guys’ in fiction often become bad guys. Something bad happened to them long ago, they never got help or justice and so their pain festered and transformed them into a ‘bad guy’ and they kill a lot of people, or rampage across the galaxy enslaving entire species or go around blowing up planets or are just truly wicked. I wrote about that on my other blog. 

The “where I have some difficulty ‘at times’” is the feeling that lashing out at others can be justified if the ‘bad guy’ never got justice, help or some kind of moral satisfaction against whoever perpetrated the evil done to him. Of course that’s wrong. The ‘bad guy’ is just creating more victims from innocent people; he is extending to others the evil done to him. It is easy to fall prey to the idea of being justified in one’s victimhood; hey, if no one helped me when I was being driven to suicide by my family long ago, why should I be considerate of others?   

OK, I went off on this topic longer that I thought I should, but I’m leaving it in. The thing is, and this is what struck me out of the blue as I was watching Mother talk about sensitivity to others and the marginalized seeking solace in one another due to the accumulated scraps from their past, is that although I didn’t really have an ally or advocate during the many times in my life when I was bullied, mocked and ridiculed or made an outcast, (or driven to consider suicide,) I really did (though I didn’t realize it until later, but that’s OK.) This may sound trite, but my allies were Jesus and His Blessed Mother. I may have mentioned this in a much earlier post (I can’t find it) but I often go to my nearby Adoration Chapel… because I felt summoned to go there. Or to attend a Daily Mass when I didn’t feel like it….because I felt summoned to go there. Same for prayers, at time…. I am just ‘not up to it’ but feel that call to pray a rosary or whatever. 

To me, that means that Jesus and Mary want me around them. Therefore, there is no need for me to ever feel like I’ve never had an advocate or an ally. Yes, it would have been nice for God to have ‘done something’ back when I was going through trials, but we all know, but often forget, that trials are there for a reason. (Mother Angelica has lots to say about that in the book I mentioned way up above. In short, they are there to prune us of our pride, self-will, self-love, and teach humility.) In God’s time, justice will be served, and not earlier. I can, right now, just take some comfort in the fact that I am not alone; besides my wife (who also seems to enjoy having me around, go figure) there is Jesus and Mary asking me to spend some extra time with them every so often. They know about the bad things that have happened to me in the past, all the scraps of my life that still haunt me and mutter in the recesses of my mind that “I’m a loser.” But in their own fashion, they will deal with the people who’ve hurt me. And what they can do about them  is far better than whatever I could have done. By some divine combination of Mercy and Justice, all will come out in the end. I just have to remain cognizant that my pains and agonies can be companions on the journey and not tormenters. I can convert them into assistants to help me to be kinder and more compassionate.

Incidentally, I watched more than just a few of Mother Angelica’s classics on EWTN On-Demand, but the other shows are beyond the scope of this post. But they all contributed to the feeling that I went on a retreat this weekend for a few hours and my head got rescrewed back on. The little negative voices that have been tormenting me these past few months have fallen silent, today. I hope they stay quiet as it may have been a case of demonic oppression, but I hesitate to give extra credit to Satan to what may have merely been low self-esteem. But on the other hand, given the voice’s persistence….

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Miraculous 54 Day Rosary Novena to save my parish from closure

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ATTENTION: THIS IS REALLY LONG BUT IT WOULD MEAN A LOT TO ME IF YOU’D READ THE WHOLE POST. I’M NOT ASKING FOR MONEY, JUST ATTENTION FOR SOMETHING PLEEEEEAAASSSE?????

This upcoming Saturday the 22nd of June my wife and I (and numerous others) will be starting a Miraculous 54 Day Rosary Novena to save our parish from closure.

We live in the Diocese of Buffalo and about six dozen parishes are recommended for closure due to the aging priesthood and an insufficient number of men coming into the priesthood. There is also an additional factor: the diocese had to declare bankruptcy to protect its assets from the numerous lawsuits stemming from the sex abuse scandal. The past 2, perhaps 3, Bishops of Buffalo failed to adequately protect young boys and girls from sexual predators in the priesthood. And so now these parishes will also be sold to pay the victims who sued the diocese.

I hope the fires of Hell burn a lot hotter for those unrepentant Catholic priests who couldn’t keep their hands off of boys and girls. Please note that I am NOT wishing Hell on anyone, this is why I said “unrepentant.” Unrepented and unconfessed mortal sins earn the guilty eternal hellfire. God’s mercy will indeed cover those priests who were sincere in repenting and confessing their sins, which I believe to be mortal. Perhaps a few could claim mitigating factors such as mental health problems or addictions, but given the deliberate nature of their actions and their duration, plus the lack of accountability by the Bishops, I think only a small few can be excused in that manner. 

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church, Paragraph1857:

For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”

I find it difficult to believe that priests guilty of sexual crimes against others, especially children, are not covered by all three. 

So anyway, a  hundred thousand or so Catholics in the Diocese of Buffalo will be losing their parishes because vocations were rarely nurtured and priests who were sexual predators. 

Now we come to my parish, St. Bernadette’s. “St. Bernies” is strong, vibrant and growing. Almost every month the bulletin lists dozens and dozens of new parishioners. There are active ministries. There is Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration. The collection pulls in in excess of $20,000 every week. It is not in debt and pays all its bills. Every weekend over 1,000 people attend the three Masses (1 Saturday Vigil and 2 Sunday morning.) This is not common amongst parishes diocese-wide. There is no reason to close it. It is 2 miles from one other parish and about 5 from another, but those are in good condition, too, and hardly need the addition of our parish’s members. Besides, if St. Bernadette’s were to close it would add thousands of people to those two churches and there would still need to be three priests to serve those two, so the point in closing St. Bernadette’s is lost: there wouldn’t be a saving in priestly postings.

Our priest did mention that the diocese might be in error, that the data attributed to our parish might actually belong to a failing parish, but who knows? My brilliant wife is looking over some publicly available data in the Diocesan Directory and she’s found additional numbers that cast serious doubt on the sanity of the decision to recommend closure.

Note that the diocese is only recommending these parishes for closure; the affected parishes can offer a counterproposal to the plan. If accepted, they’re saved, if rejected, they’re not. Our priest and parish staff will be working overtime to work out a counterproposal.

(Incidentally, we love our priest. He looks like Jesus, plus in every homily he fondly mentions his Mom and Rome (or Italy. I’ve never heard so much stuff about Rome in homilies. He puts the ROMAN in Roman Catholic.))

So I thought of (or the Blessed Mother put it in my brain, or perhaps St. Bernadette) saying a Miraculous 54 Day Rosary Novena. I wrote the following and our priest approved it for distribution in the church:

ATTENTION ALL PARISHIONERS

OF ST. BERNADETTE’S:

PLEASE JOIN IN A

“Miraculous 54-Day Rosary Novena to Save St. Bernadette’s.”

***June 22-August 14***

 

We all love St. Bernadette’s and will be distraught over her closing, should that happen. To help prevent this, we are calling upon the powers of Heaven and Our Lady to help keep our parish open, if that be God’s will. Let’s all join together in reciting a Miraculous 54 Day Rosary Novena! We can pray as individuals in ‘spiritual communion’ with each other, or together in groups in the church, our homes or over Zoom/Google Meet, etc.

The Miraculous 54-Day Rosary Novena originated in the late 19th century in Naples, Italy, when a young girl suffering from an illness thought to be incurable prayed to Our Lady for help. Mary appeared to her and promised her healing if she prayed three novenas. The girl did so, and was miraculously healed. In a later apparition, Mary specified that the full prayer should have 3 novenas in petition, and 3 novenas in thanksgiving.

OUR NOVENA TO SAVE OUR PARISH WILL BEGIN ON SATURDAY JUNE 22nd SO AS TO END ON AUGUST 14th, the day before they begin to announce the final decisions on closings. August 14th is important because it’s the feast day of St. Maximilian Kolbe, WHO HAD A GREAT DEVOTION TO ST. BERNADETTE AND OUR LADY OF LOURDES!!!

How to pray the Novena:

The novena consists of five decades of the Rosary (one set of mysteries) each day for twenty-seven consecutive days in petition; then immediately five decades each day for an additional twenty-seven consecutive days in thanksgiving, regardless of whether or not the request has been granted yet.

The first day of the novena always begins with the Joyful Mysteries (regardless of what day of the week the novena is started); the second day, the Sorrowful Mysteries are prayed; and the third day of the novena, the Glorious Mysteries are prayed. The fourth day of the novena starts all over with the Joyful, etc. and continues on in that sequence (Joyful-Sorrowful-Glorious) throughout the 54 days of the novena. The Luminous Mysteries aren’t included only because they did not exist when Our Lady taught this novena to the girl.

There are special additional prayers to begin and conclude it during all the days of petition and thanksgiving, as well as at the end of each decade. Here are two links with the instructions and prayers:

The Miraculous 54 Day Rosary Novena and How to Pray the 54 Day Rosary Novena (NOTE TO MY READERS: on the sheet, the URLs were spelled out. Obviously a link wouldn’t work and I didn’t know how to convert one to a QR code (the instructions are on my phone somewhere but I lacked the time to figure it out. Hence the next sentence:)

OR JUST DO A WEB SEARCH FOR “HOW TO PRAY THE 54 DAY ROSARY NOVENA” it’s essentially the same at any source
.

BACK TO MY READERS: My wife and I already know of several of our online friends who say they’ll join us in saying this Novena, which is awesome as they’ve never even been to western New York much less our parish!

WILL YOU JOIN IN, ALSO? I get  A LOT OF BLOG INSPIRATION while at my Holy Hours in the parish’s Perpetual Adoration Chapel, so you’ll kind of be helping Sober Catholic!

Yes, I know the Diocese of Buffalo isn’t alone in this. There are quite a lot of other diocese in the same position. So, if you refrain from helping out because of that, I’d understand. But still, I’d really appreciate it if you’d rise above rejecting help just because you’re not in this Diocese. I don’t think it would be inappropriate at all for you to add an additional, personal intention to the “Save Paulcoholic’s St. Bernadette Parish” petition! So there could be something in it for you! OH!!!!! If you want, you can email me or post in the comments the personal intentions that you might add; I’ll copy and paste them onto a doc and keep them on my phone and pray about them in front of the Blessed Sacrament at St. Bernie’s Adoration Chapel and before or after Mass.

Thanks!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Mother Angelica is as helpful and inspiring today as she was decades ago

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 I couldn’t this morning decide what to watch on TV during the time I set aside for that before ‘beginning my day.’ Old reruns of “Sliders?” How about “Farscape?” “Babylon 5?” Maybe pick up where I left off during an interrupted binging of the original “Quantum Leap?” No, no, no, and no. I was restless in my indecision. Then I felt a tiny inspiration to watch classic Mother Angelica episodes on EWTN. And so I did!

Am I ever glad! 

I am, as usual, ‘going through stuff’ and I am awaiting a decision on a job application I made yesterday. And so I binged on Mother Angelica videos on EWTN and later YouTube for about 3 hours. Several were on fear, anxiety, and inner peace. I split my time between “Mother Angelica Live Classics” and “From the Heart with Mother Angelica” an older show I don’t think I’ve seen before.

I feel I’m being prepped for failure (I won’t get the job) or success (I’ll get it and properly cope with new job anxieties.) 

Either way, whatever happens, I feel like I received a grace today to cope with stuff. If the prayer is answered in the way that I hope it will, (I get the job) then “Yay!” If it gets answered ‘the other way,’ (I don’t get the job) then I’ll assume that God has other plans for me. I hope he lets me know what they are soon!

I cannot recommend watching Mother Angelica enough. I watched her programming quite a lot way back when, and I have read all the books she’s written and the ones edited or written by her biographer (Raymond Arroyo.) If you’re down, afraid, consumed with fear and anxiety, or are depressed, if you’re confused about anything: please go to the links I posted a few paragraphs above and just scroll through the offerings. If you’re suicidal, she has kind and loving things to say to you. She is a lifeline. She will help you pull back from the abyss.

“Mother Angelica Live Classics” is also available as audio-only. EWTN also has an audio-only version of  her EWTN call-in show, “Mother Angelica Answering the Call.” It’s about:

“Father Joseph Mary Wolfe and Doug Keck mine decades of viewer phone calls answered by Mother Angelica. Mother dishes out teaching, advice, laughter and plenty of prayers as she takes calls from her “Family”. No subject is off limits and no problem too big for the wisdom and compassion of the one and only, Mother Angelica!

I  listen to clips of this program on my local Catholic radio station (which is available to you on iCatholicRadio (available for the desktop or an iOS or Android app.) I may start listening to entire episodes: I need more Mother!

Mother Angelica is a balm, a healing remedy for these strange times which have gotten much worse since her shows aired. I kept thinking to myself “Imagine what she’d be saying nowadays!” She was four years younger than my Mom, but she’s always come across as a wise (-cracking) and loving Grandma who really cares about her family (all several million of us.)

I wish those folks down in Alabama would get started on her cause for beatification and canonization. If there was ever a woman who led a life of heroic virtue and who had a major, positive impact on millions of people worldwide, it’s Mother Mary Angelica of the Annunciation.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

This is enough, O LORD! Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers

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The First Reading for the Mass for the 19th Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year B) is from 1st Book of  Kings Chapter 19, verses 4-8;

Elijah went a day’s journey into the desert,
until he came to a broom tree and sat beneath it. 
He prayed for death saying:
“This is enough, O LORD! 
Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” 
He lay down and fell asleep under the broom tree,
but then an angel touched him and ordered him to get up and eat. 
Elijah looked and there at his head was a hearth cake
and a jug of water. 
After he ate and drank, he lay down again,
but the angel of the LORD came back a second time,
touched him, and ordered,
“Get up and eat, else the journey will be too long for you!” 
He got up, ate, and drank;
then strengthened by that food,
he walked forty days and forty nights to the mountain of God, Horeb.

 

I attended the Vigil Mass last night to fulfill one of the requirements for the First Saturday Devotion (receiving Holy Communion) and the First Reading from 1 Kings struck me. Elijah is depressed after having slain the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah who are supported by Jezebel. Jezebel took issue with this and has threatened Elijah’s life if she ever caught him, and so now he is on the run. 

Despite his success in defeating the false prophets and showing Israel just Who the True God is, he is at a loss as to what to do next. He feels defeated as he has no support amongst anyone in Israel. This, despite the obvious support of God, by Whom Elijah wrought his victory over the false prophets of Jezebel.

I think many of us can relate; despite obvious signs of Divine Providence in the past, we may be now going through difficult times and are at the end of our proverbial rope. We may even yearn for death; not in any suicidal manner, but just as a release from the uncertainties and transitory ways of our secular life and the joy of hopefully getting to Heaven. There, we find eternal peace, happiness and freedom form anxiety, fear and the need for material support like income and food as well as no longer having to suffer from our own character defects. But we don’t get that; it’s not God’s will that we join Him yet.

But, as Elijah discovers, from within the depths of despair or loneliness comes a sudden reversal of fortune and circumstance. God suddenly has something for him to do and He supplies Elijah with the means to do it. 

I hope we all have had similar experiences. I know one time in late 1993, I was unemployed and facing eviction and on the same day, just in time, I landed a decent job and an apartment. Despair was gone and I felt pretty good about myself for having faced down those threats and survived. (A side note: although I believed in God, this happened during a period when I was not practicing any religion.) 

There is a word for this: Eucatastrophe – Wikipedia:

A eucatastrophe is a sudden turn of events at the end of a story which ensures that the protagonist does not meet some terrible, impending, and very plausible and probable doom. The writer J. R. R. Tolkien coined the word by affixing the Greek prefix eu, meaning good, to catastrophe, the word traditionally used in classically inspired literary criticism to refer to the “unraveling” or conclusion of a drama’s plot.

So, Elijah experienced a ‘eucatastrophe,’ as did I in November 1993. The biggest eucatastrophe is of course, the Resurrection. Eucatastrophes I think happen when things get out of control, either by external circumstances or our own neglect, and God will that He intervenes before we perish. This means He still has plans for us in some way. Perhaps He intervenes despite our past neglect and complacency; perhaps He Wills it to happen so as to show His might and power. Ultimately, all things work to glorify God. My life experience glorifies Him because although at the time I attributed it to my sudden newfound ‘street smarts,’ in retrospect it was done for me by Him in spite of myself. (And I wasn’t even a Catholic, or any kind of Christian!) 

I need a eucatastrophe within a month. I know ‘something’ will happen, but there is the anxiety driven by not knowing when relief will come. But, Faith assures us when Fear tries to tell us the worst will happen. 

We just have to Trust in Him. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Distractions and anxiety

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I noticed the other day that I haven’t blogged in over a month. This isn’t an apology nor an explanation, but just commentary about ‘distractions and anxiety.’

Lots of things have been going on in both the Church and the secular world. The Church passed through Advent, Christmas and on through Epiphany and the Baptism of the Lord. Typically I would have blogged a bit on any one or a number of them. Not that I am a liturgical blogger, but one of the themes of this blog is that the liturgical year provides a rhythm and framework about which to live out the year. Not that I am always diligent in blogging during key seasons; I’ve been absent before during them and can promise you that it will happen again! Nevertheless, this goes beyond just focusing on the season and trying to live out the spirituality and forgetting or neglecting to bring insights to readers.

I’ve been distracted and downright freakishly anxious about the state of the world. USA Presidential election results were being disputed; and it doesn’t matter who would have won, either side was prepared to claim the other ‘cheated’ if their side lost. Carry this forward to the threat of political violence by the loser to protest the ‘stolen election.’ The threat of a civil war appears real. And I don’t really think it’s over.

So, in observing current events I decided to withdraw and not blog. Sad to say I didn’t withdraw from social media. I would have retained a greater deal of sanity if I had.

The civil war is for now a ‘cold’ one. No fighting or anything like that. But ruptures in online friendships as people ‘take sides’ and cannot tolerate an opposing point of view or conviction. I confess to having ‘unfriended’ people; primarily because they crossed a line of toxicity and illogic.

Oh, well. I’m back to blogging. I hope your Advent went well, that you got to Confession and Mass and grew spiritually and religiously. Perhaps you reread old Sober Catholic posts on the season to compensate for my not having written anything new.

Lent is almost upon us and I hope to use that to boost my blogging. Later, people!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Holy Guardian Angels: You are never alone

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Today is the Feast of the Holy Guardian Angels. There is a tremendous comfort in knowing that we are never truly alone, for as the Collect from today’s Mass in the Extraordinary Form says in regards to these:

“O God, Who in Your wondrous providence graciously send Your Angels to watch over us, grant that we who pray to You may be ever under their protection and may rejoice in their unending companionship.”

The Epistle goes on to say:

Lesson from the book of Exodus:

Exodus 23:20-23 “Thus says the Lord God: See, I am sending My Angel before you, to guard you on the way and bring you to the place I have prepared. Be attentive to him and heed his voice. Do not rebel against him, for he will not forgive your sin. My authority resides in him. If you heed his voice and carry out all I tell you, I will be an enemy to your enemies and a foe to your foe, and My Angel will go before you.”

In the last line from today’s Gospel (Matthew 18:1-10), Jesus warns,”See that you do not despise one of these little ones; for I tell you, their Angels in heaven always behold the face of My Father in heaven.”

See? Your Guardian Angel is not only watching over you, but is also beholding the face of God in Heaven. Think about that next time you think you are alone and no one is around. Your Guardian Angel is not only with you, but is also in the presence of God. This is comforting.

One area of my devotional life that is lacking is devotion to my Guardian Angel. I do not think about him nearly as often as I should. Perhaps that should change…

Mass excerpts courtesy of Missale Meum

 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)