Category Archives: Anxiety

In God alone is my soul at rest

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The excerpt from the Evening Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours for the Wednesday of the  Second week of Lent comes from Psalm 62:1-2.

In God alone is my soul at rest;
my help comes from him.
He alone is my rock, my stronghold,
my fortress: I stand firm.

Courtesy: DivineOffice.org

The world is currently ablaze in war; Russia’s Fascist aggression against Ukraine is now over 4 years old and virtually every country in the Middle East is involved to one degree or another in the joint US/Israeli military action against Iran. Things could get nuclear. Political discord is increasing exponentially in the United States. The US and global economy is being victimzed by idiotic political decisions.. 

There are plenty of reasons to return to drinking and drugging; it could make “things go away” temporarily or at least make them seem manageable.

The first two verses from Psalm 62 which form the first psalm reading from tonight’s Evening Prayer is a worthwhile passaage to meditate on and perhaps even memorize for when you have the urge to drink or drug again when things get tough. They’re going to get tougher. Only God can be the fortress within which you can take refuge in. For 2,000 years Catholics going throught wars, plagues, oppression and poverty have known this and have sought refuge in the Faith. Faith helps you rise above the temporary things that disturb us. Countries come and go, wars are always fought and won or lost, leaders become full of their own ego and narcissism and bring socieities down. The Catholic Church and her adherents remain.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Lourdes, the Immaculate Conception, the Militia of the Immaculata and Sobriety

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Reblogged from several years ago and edited slightly:

This is a story about a Marian feast day, its significance; a saint and what he did with it; and what all this meant for yours truly.

Today is February 11th, day when  Our Lady appeared to St. Bernadette Soubirous in a grotto near Lourdes, France in 1858.

The apparition was significant in several respects: the most important was that Our Lady identified herself with the words, “I am the Immaculate Conception.” Not that she was “immaculately conceived,” but rather she was the essence of the immaculate conception. As St. Maximilian Kolbe later pointed out (this is a paraphrase) “To be white is one thing, to be whiteness is another.”

For another, it seemed as if Heaven was endorsing the definition of the Dogma of Mary’s Immaculate Conception in 1854 by Pope Pius IX in Ineffabilis Deus:

“We declare, pronounce and define that the doctrine which asserts that the Blessed Virgin Mary, from the first moment of her conception, by a singular grace and privilege of almighty God, and in view of the merits of Jesus Christ, Saviour of the human race, was preserved free from every stain of original sin is a doctrine revealed by God and, for this reason, must be firmly and constantly believed by all the faithful.”

And one more: that Mary’s self-identification as the Immaculate Conception was utterly fascinating and mysterious to St. Maximilian Kolbe, who meditated and pondered on it his entire life. It inspired his “Militia of the Immaculata” and associated media enterprises and friaries.

I discovered St. Maximilian Kolbe and the Militia of the Immaculata in 2002, after I had sobered up sufficiently to search online for what the Catholic Church has to offer me in recovery. As I had stated in my Reversion story, “I had been going to AA meetings, but I knew early on that the brand of spirituality offered there was not going to do the job.” And so I explored the religion of my childhood and never looked back. That St. Max was a patron of addicts helped. When I learned that, I explored more about him.

So I found out about St. Max and the M.I. The M.I. calls for consecrating oneself to the Blessed Mother as her “possession and property” so she can “make of me, of all my powers of soul and body, of my whole life, death and eternity, whatever most pleases” her. That she will use me as “a fit instrument in your immaculate and merciful hands for introducing and increasing your  (note: God’s) glory to the maximum in all the many strayed and indifferent souls, and thus help extend as far as possible the blessed kingdom of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus.” I figured if that’s true (and I never doubted the Blessed Mother) then this may help in my recovery. I doubt that remaining a drunk would be of use to her. This blog post Marian Consecration and the Guarantee of Eternal life expands on how Marian Consecration can help your sobriety. In short, when you become Mary’s possession, she guides you along the path to Jesus. Consecration can heal you, not in any miraculous way (but that could happen!) but it can help you focus and give a new dimension to your prayer and devotional life. I firmly believe that if you consecrate yourself to Mary, the probability of relapse should vanish (your willing cooperation with the graces received through Mary’s interession is assumed.)

And so on October 7, 2002, on the Memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary, I gave myself to Mother Mary. I joined the M.I. which “is a universal and international public Association of the faithful, erected by the Holy See. The MI was founded by St. Maximilian Kolbe, OFMConv., in 1917, is open to Catholics, of all walks of life, and encourages all people of good will to develop a trusting relationship with Our Lady. The aim of the MI is to win the whole world for Christ through the Immaculata, Mother of God and of the Church.

“The MI is a global vision of Catholic life under a new form, consisting in the bond with the Immaculata, our universal Mediatrix before Jesus.” -St. Maximilian Kolbe.

The MI offers programs that: -Provide formation in the teachings of the Catholic Church
-Foster love for Jesus in the Eucharist and for the Sacramental life
-Promote a deep understanding of the Blessed Virgin Mary’s role in the plan of Salvation and of the gift of consecration to her in the spirit of St. Maximilian Kolbe.
-Ignite with the zeal to become generous instruments of evangelization in one’s own environment, giving witness to the Truth and promoting the sacredness of human life. M.I. members, mindful of their call to evangelize, strive to give witness to the Faith everywhere. They seek to reach out to their own families, friends, co-workers, fellow parishioners, the sick and elderly, youth, adults, and whomever they meet, in order to lead every individual with Mary to Christ, Our Savior and Our Hope.

(Above quote courtesy of M.I. You can also visit that link to learn more about the MI and St. Maximilian Kolbe, along with possibly joining yourself!)

I think Mary started using me right afterwards. She strengthened me against what I perceived as attacks against my Faith in my AA Home Group as well as giving me the courage to stop attending meetings regularly in 2004. Not that I am advocating everyone should stop going to meetings; on the contrary, if you enjoy and need regular meeting attendance, by all means do it. It just wasn’t for me.

Once I drifted from AA, I began looking into what recovery resources the Church offers. You can read about that here: “About this blog.” After a whle I just decided to start Sober Catholic; I mentioned in some earlier post that I believe the Blessed Virgin Mary “inspired” me to do it. A “fruit,” if you will, of of my M.I. Consecration. Not that I received any interior locution or some such thing, just a desire that since no one else was doing this at the time, I might as well. I doubt I’d have the courage on my own.

So here’s the story: A apparition of the Blessed Mother; a saint’s taking that apparition and message and developing it; and a marginal ex-drunk finding a personal mission in it – Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny and taking whoever bothers to read this stuff along with him.

So that’s that! The sanctuary or Our Lady of Lourdes in France is famous for miraculous healings wrought there. Over 7,000 miralulous healinga have been reported since 1858; only 72 (so far) have been confirmed by the Church to me truly miraculous.) Because of that, Pope St. John Paul II also declared today to be the “World Day of the Sick” in 1993. We alcoholics, even though we may be sober, are still “sick.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

BOOK REVIEW: “Encouraging Words to Live By: 365 Days of Hope for the Anxious and Overwhelmed” by Anne Costa

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“Encouraging Words to Live By: 365 Days of Hope for the Anxious and Overwhelmed” by Anne Costa was published through The Word Among Us Press in 2019, and I wish I had it back then as it would have helped me better deal with anxiety and recurring feelings of being overwhelmed.

The book is aptly named.

What is it about? 

From the site blurb:

Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or sad? Here is a collection of daily reflections that will lift your spirits and give you a sense of direction with reminders of God’s great love and acceptance. Drawing from Scripture, the wisdom of the saints, and pastoral expertise, Anne Costa has written a spiritual resource that will enable you to look upon each day with hope.

This book will help you (or a loved one) when overwhelmed by life or struggling with anxiety or depression to renew your connection with God and others.

Encouraging Words to Live By.

I began reading it this year (2026.) With the world and nation going increasingly insane and daily living threatened by the actions of stupid political leaders in ways previously unheard of (due to things being amplified by social media and 24/7 news channels) this book will provide a sane and soothing respite for the few minutes every day that you take to read and ponder the wisdom of Anne as well as from those sources she’s culled it from. You might even be inspired to grab your Bible afterwards and look up the Scripture passage.

My favorite day so far (and NOT the only one in my two weeks of reading) is the entry for January 5th. 

Excerpt: 

…How we talk to ourselves—the messages we send—can either feed or starve our souls. We shouldn’t let our inner chatter drown out the voice of God, who is love….

…Let the condemning thoughts die down like a distant echo and allow the whisper of the One who loves you fill your listening heart….

I think I need to place that page on my printer, make a copy, and tack it onto the wall next to me. I have mentioned at least once before about “inner voices” running me down. They typically sound like the voices of family members who had driven me to consider self-harm, but often it’s a generic voice not associated with any particular person. But it’s always a running critical commentary, but sometimes petty and ridiculous; like the source of the voice can’t come up with anything big so it resorts to something stupid. 

Each page has a quote from Scripture, followed by Anne’s “Encouraging Words,” basically a short inspirational passage she wrote, based on the Scripture passage and often tied to the liturgical feast of that day. The day’s reading concludes with a nice, short prayer. 

After I finish writing and publishing this review, I’m going to go back through the entries for January 1 through 16 and highlight certain passages, maybe scribble a note or underline with a pen.  I rarely do that, but when I do, it “annoints” the book with a sort of personal blessing. “This book is essential to my well-being” and “It’s important in helping me cope.” I’ll be keeping the highlighter and pen next to it. Within a few years the book will show evidence of heavy-duty highlighting, underlining, and annotating. There’s no entry for February 29: on that day I’ll just flip through and reread other days.

Where to get it:

The book’s page on Anne’s website: Encouraging Words to Live By on REVIVE Hope and Healing Ministries 

Through Amazon

Barnes and Noble (and check out the Nook sample!)

Or visit your nearby local bookshop (especially if you have a Catholic bookshop around!) and politely request that they carry it. Buy two, one for yourself and for someone you know.

Anne’s website is REVIVE Hope and Healing Ministries. They have a Prayer Community on Facebook. Check out her podcasts (DISCLAIMER: she interviewed me last year.  That DID NOT influence my review. If I didn’t like the book, I wouldn’t have reviewed it.) A full list of where you can listen is on Podbean. 

I hope you enjoy reading it! If you do, spread the word! People need this book!

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Prayer request for a homeless addict and thoughts on unworthiness

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I received an email a few days ago (only saw it today as it was in my Junk folder☹️) from Richard S., a homeless addict in the United Kingdom. I won’t post his entire email here out of respect for privacy (even though it lacks personal identifying info.)

Some points, however:

I’m a Catholic and I’m an addict in England, UK. I’m struggling like hell.  I recently was given a copy of your book “The Sober Catholic Way” and it’s truly helping me. 

00000 TSCWBookCover.

If you only knew how it feels to discover your writing has made an impact!

 I feel as if I’ve let my Blessed Mother, Mary down and I’m not worthy.  Let alone our Lord Jesus. Anyway, many blessings and love to you and your family.

This part touched me. Who among us hasn’t felt this way? I replied:

About you letting Mama Mary and Jesus down: they perfectly understand. Mary’s love and Jesus’ mercy is greater than our deepest faults and flaws and our inability to overcome them. This is something everyone forgets from time to time, including me. Mary is a good Mother and will help lead you closer to Jesus. 

And so I am asking you for prayers for Richard S. (If you’re in the UK and know of resources for homeless addicts; and Richard does have access to medical personnel, he probably knows what’s available, but just in case something is overlooked, please email me at paulcoholic at gmail dot com .)

Richard is also a member of the Militia of the Immaculata. It’s UK Center is: Militia of the Immaculata in Great Britain and Ireland.

Here’s how to order it: The Sober Catholic Way.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

The “Following Padre Pio” YouTube Channel

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One of my favorite YouTube Channels is Following Padre Pio. It is a source of comfort and reassurance. 

From the channel’s description:

Do you long for a deeper connection with your faith? Padre Pio’s powerful legacy can transform your life in ways you never thought possible.

At Following Padre Pio, we bring you inspiring, personal stories of his miracles and his deep love for Christ and Mary Most Holy. Padre Pio’s prayers have led to miraculous healings and conversions—both physically and spiritually. Whether you’re searching for healing, clarity, or a renewed relationship with God, Padre Pio’s influence can guide you.

You’re not just watching videos—you’re becoming part of a growing community of believers who are witnessing the extraordinary power of faith. 

They also have a primary website, which has tgis to say about their YouTube:

At “Following Padre Pio” we want everyone to Know More about Padre Pio!

We present short, regular videos on the life of Padre Pio to encourage people in their Faith, and to trust and love Our Lord Jesus Christ and Mary Most Holy.

His miracles were incredible! Countless people were healed from serious illnesses through his healing prayer for the sick.

“Faith and Spirituality” “Community and Solidarity”

As you scroll through the videos, you will realize the depth of St. Padre Pio’s love for the Blessed Mother and her Rosary, including its power to transform lives. You’ll get great practical advice on living, including addiction and alcoholism recovery! Yes, a devotion to St. Padre Pio could help you become free of the drink and the drug. Here’s a few samples:

Miracles of Healing: Addiction Conquered with Padre Pio’s Intercession

Padre Pio In The Lives Of Our Viewers. “I struggle every day, but my Padre Pio doesn’t forget me.”

Padre Pio: “Every day it saves the world from damnation” What is he referring to?

There are other videos for those of us who are struggling with “stuff.” Take a look at:

Padre Pio’s Harsh Guidance: The Pain That Leads to Miracles

In the Darkness of Doubt: Padre Pio Bringing Souls Back to Faith

When Prayers Go Unanswered: Padre Pio’s Powerful Insight

Never Alone: Padre Pio’s Deep Reliance on Mary’s Help

Padre Pio’s Faith in Saint Joseph During Difficult Times

Seeking Comfort? Padre Pio Is Here To Help!

Those are just a sample of videos on how St. Padre Pio can help you “get through trials.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Exploring hurt people hurting other people

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This is a followup to Hurt People Hurt People. It was originally published on Paul Sofranko Space, but I edited it for Sober Catholic. It describes how a person might become an ‘antagonist,’ but for a fictional setting; this may be added to the backstory of a character in a novel I’m working on. I firmly believe that writing has tremendous therapeutic value, and writing fiction is a way to deal with trauma. This post explores how a “bad person,” maybe a “hurt person who hurts others” got that way in the first place. While it is easy to create bad people who are just evil, it is more realistic to show how root causes have driven them to be who they are; all of which could have been avoided. Perhaps they can be redeemed.

This is drawn from personal traumas I referred to the the “Hurt people…” post (the 1995 incident referred to but I didn’t reveal; and the 2005 death of my Mom and the aftermath,) although some elements in it are speculative or conjectural.

There are two people, Person A (“PA”) and Person B (“PB”). PA also has accomplices or people sympathetic, but PA is the ringleader; possibly through fear and intimidation. PB is mostly alone.

PA and accomplices had screwed over PB to the point of driving him to consider suicide. PB is figuratively broken, bruised, bloodied and wounded and is cast aside. He is left to wondering “Why?”

This had poured salt into a wound created years before when PA grievously harmed PB with unjust accusations. PB had been wondering “Why?” about that ever since; this new event just made things worse, hence the consideration of suicide. PB’s discovery through one of PA’s accomplices that PA doesn’t even remember this older event just adds salt to the wound.

The “Whys?” were never addressed. PB never gets answers. PA, et al., have moved on from the event and put it behind them; after all, they were the antagonists and know the “Whys?” (if there were actually any) and have dealt with whatever they need to. Not so with PB. For him, hurt and pain continue and becomes an integral part of his existence. Without understanding the “Whys?” PB never fully recovers and is changed for the worse.

PB struggles with things and tries to relate best to the reality about him but feels alone as no one really stood up and defended him during the events; and afterward others are uncomfortable or indifferent; as such he trusts others little and presumes bad motives. He tried to defend himself during the horrors, but was out gunned and outnumbered. PB also had a weak and vulnerable base from which to defend himself, being faced with certain survival issues at the same time.

His obsession with PA and the others (his frequent dwelling on the “Whys?” and such,) and wishing it never happened or fantasizing about vengeance or at least something happening to bring about justice, and knowing that it will probably never come to pass has lead PB to become something of an antagonist himself; while wanting to be “good,” he feels he cannot risk that and needs to put himself and his feelings first.

Meanwhile, PA and the others are to all appearances “good people,” and if they bother to discuss the events at all, it is to the disparagement of PB. As PB isn’t around to defend himself and no one else is willing to defend him, his reputation suffers. Only one side of the story gets told.

So, a combination of time leading PB to become “bad” in the eyes of PA and accomplices, and PA, et al., becoming “good” has only worsened things for PB. PB was the victim; he never deserved the treatment. But due to powerlessness and no healing because PB never learned “Why?” has stunted PB and left him emotionally back where everything took place. And thus PB is ‘bad,’ not ‘evil’ but due to the woundedness and lack of answers leading to justice and healing, PB’s actions are difficult.

PB is not a “whiner,” nor one who touts “victimhood.” He had difficulty in “getting over it” but is one who is truly wounded and has never gotten the needed healing or justice.

The only thing that can heal PB is justice and knowledge. He has to know why the treatment was meted out almost to the point of driving him to suicide. PA and accomplices have to make amends, both psychological and emotional. Material amends would be a bonus, but PB knows that will never happen. (PB perhaps suffered some material loss in income over his inability to manage and cope for a while.) At any rate, PA and the others have to make certain sacrifices to undo the harm they caused.

So, that’s it. A person is a victim of unjust action which were never redressed. The hurt party is still wounded despite time and some attempts at healing, but lingering issues prevent full healing. Hence, the pain has transformed him into an ‘antagonist.’ (This is where this fictional exercise departs from any “autobiographical” account. In fiction, we can safely explore the “What ifs.”) PB is wounded and that woundedness causes him to wound others. The degree to which he becomes an antagonist varies: there is him merely being a jerk, all the way to him becoming single-mindedly focused on achieving world domination and bending people to his will, severely punishing others in the process. He says “Mwuahahahahahahahaha!” a lot.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hurt people hurt people

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I often run across memes online with the phrase “Hurt people hurt people.” This means that people who have been hurt turn around and hurt others. It is assumed that since they’ve never experienced any healing from the hurt, or even justice for it, the  wound festers and they respond by hurting others.

I sympathize with the rationale behind “hurt people hurt people.” It’s hard to be sensitive to other people’s pain when your own has never been completely healed, or the ones who hurt you seem to continue on happy and healthy as if nothing happened.

I do not always think that the pain rendered unto me by the actions of my family after my Mom died in 2005 has ever been completely dealt with, and certainly “justice” (however that is defined) has never been enacted. Nor has the pain from the trauma my sister visited upon me in 1995 been dealt with (I thought I had blogged about that incident, but I can’t find any post on it. So be it, let it rest, for now. 2025 is the 20th and 30th anniversaries of many traumas. The dates are coming up in a coiuple of months.) For all of that, it’s easy for me at times to be resentful and less than empathic towards others. I am a hurt person who once in a while hurts others. Bear in mind that everyone does this; but at least I know the source of where it comes from. We all walk around broken and wounded. The wounds are there; some healed over, others not so much. 

It is obvious from all this that people need healing, and that access to effective and affordable mental health resources is imperative. Also, people need to embrace forgiveness. If a hurt person cannot get access to mental health resources, then “forgiveness” may help as far as it goes.

There is one method by which a person who has been hurt can find healing and perhaps justice as well. Although much patience is required.

“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay.”

That is a passage from the Bible. You can’t get a better method of justice than God going to bat for you and doing unto others what should be done unto them.

St. Paul refers to it explicitly in his Letter to the Romans:

Romans 12: 17-19

“Render to no one harm for harm. Provide good things, not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of all men.

If it is possible, in so far as you are able, be at peace with all men.

Do not defend yourselves, dearest ones. Instead, step aside from wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is mine. I shall give retribution, says the Lord.”

St. Paul was quoting (“For it is written”) the Book of Deuteronomy 32:35: “Vengeance is mine, and I will repay them in due time, so that their foot may slip and fall.” 

Granted, this is something that will happen “in God’s time;” and while we would rather those who’ve hurt us to get their comeuppance in our lifetime (and quickly!) and maybe even being able to witness it; this is one of those things that it is better to wait for. God’s justice is sweeter when it happens when it’s supposed to. 

It is also important to note that the people on whom God will wreak His vengeance and justice on are those who are unrepentant. I think that if those who’ve hurt you realize the gravity of their actions and repent, even if they do not outright make amends to you, “somehow” God will pass a healing on to you. (Based on this, my family hasn’t repented; I have passed out of family history, mostly fogotten and unregarded. At best, a footnote mentioned at gatherings.)

Another Scripture verse harkens to this vengeance:

Psalm 23:5 “You set a table before me in front of my enemies…”

What better vengeance than for God to bestow His blessings on you in the sight of those who’ve hurt you? This could be in this life; your ‘enemies’ witnessed you moving on from the pain they’ve caused and you seem (outwardly, at least) unharmed.

But it could also be in the next life. You die and enter Heaven, joining in the celebrations of the “wedding feast of the Lamb (Rev 19:1-10).” That incredible eternal feast which takes place after the Second Coming and the final triumph of good over evil and the resurrection of the dead, where all the faithful gather in joyous union with the glorified Christ.

Just think about the possibility of your unrepentant and unforgiven enemies witnessing this from the tortures of Hell (which I think may be one way to increases their suffering.) These are the people who have willfully done you serious harm; whether it be crimes such as physical or psychological abuse, or something else (neglect, bigotry, prejudice…) They have also probably harmed many others. Now they are paying the price for their sins and deservedly so. 

Take heart, of sorts: there is no need for you to nurture the pain with in you as a reminder of past injuries, dwelling on the injustices done unto you and dreaming of a way to get even; or, worse, spread the pain onto others by treating them the same way you had been. For when a “hurt person” “hurts others,” they are no better than those who’ve hurt them. Worse, even for they know the pain and should be sensitive to that pain in others.

Leave it up to God. He knows exactly why those people hurt you. He knows what’s in their hearts and souls and He alone can wreak proper justice. If that includes Divine Vengerance, so be it. Better Him than you. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Jude Thaddeus: the Forgotten

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OK, so in my previous post I had written a prayer based on a traditional one that claimed St. Jude was confused with the traitor Judas due to the similarity in names. I didn’t have the prayer handy but was certain that’s how it read. I was wrong. It read that he was forgotten by many. Oh, well. I’m keeping it because I do think people got them confused. I wrote a new one based on this corrected context:

I think that this is further evidence that St. Jude is a leading advocate and intercessor for us. In the throes of our addiction, we were often shunned by family and friends and others. Perhaps rightfully so, given our behavior. Nevertheless, this contributed to our dehumanization. Numbering among the lost, the lonely, being hopeless and desparing of ever having a normal and complete life, we entered the realm of the forgotten. Matt Talbot experienced this; he had no money to buy beer at his favorite Dublin pub and his friends turned him away. This caused him to turn his life around, to ‘take the pledge.’ 

The emotions experienced when you feel this way, that you are a non-person, may be the bottom oft-spoken of. That “jumping off place,” where you know that if you continue to drink you will die, but if you stop drinking, you may onky wish for death. And so a glimmer of hope begins to glow…

You’ve been there. Take for a moment and think back to those dark times when you were caught in the grips of loneliness and despair. 

I wish I had developed a devotion to St. Jude long before this week. There have been countless times where I had felt so alone, llost and forgotten. Granted, we can always turn to Jesus and Mary (and I did,) but to have a specific saint,an apostle no less, who is the advocate of the despairing and alone. (Dear Paulcoholic: May I remind you of your devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows? No one’s feeling of sorrow and hurt was as great as Our Blessed Mother’s as she contemplated her Son’s eventual Passion and death. Not to mention what she went through as she actually experienced it. Dear Conscience: OK, yeah, I know  all that. But what I love about Catholic devotional spirituality is that it is designed for everyone in whatever state they’re in, “where they’re at,” so to speak. Reaching out to the Blessed Mother may be difficult for some. But there’s this other guy, see…. Dear Paulcoholic: Point taken. Carry on.)

By the way, if you like the image I added to this post, it, and others like it are (or soon will be) available at my Shop Sober Catholic storefront over on Sober Catholic Pixels site. There are a few products there already, more will be added tonight through this weekend. I would love it if you’d patronize it. I can use the funds. If you’d like to donate through PayPal, the link is here: PayPal Paul Sofranko. This is the third in an ongoing series of solicitaions to help my wife and I get through some financial stresses. Between a  combination of underemployment, health issues, sales of one book not being very good, and other factors, we are in a tight money crunch. I have been praying to St. Jude very intensely this week for the alleviation of these issues. If PayPal isn’t your thing, you can also mail a check, payable to: Paul Sofranko; and send it to: P.O. Box 358; North Boston, NY 14110.

Another way to help is by purchasing my books and online products. You can purchase for yourself or multiple copies for others that might be interested. My new book, “The Sober Catholic Way” comes as an ebook for Amazon Kindle, or as a paperback from Amazon. If you prefer Barnes and Noble, then here is the link for a paperback; and if you have a B&N Nook, here is the Nook purchase link. 

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It is also now available at numerous other ebook retailers like Apple Books and Smashwords. You might also try this Universal Book Link: click and then select the logo of your fave online bookshop.

Click on this page to discover where you can buy The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts. 

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It’s available through Amazon, B&N and Apple, as well as Smashwords and other retailers. 

The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics is also available; that page tells you all the places you can buy it!

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Are you creative-minded? Know people who are? Then Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics is my new book exhorting Catholics to apply their faith to change the culture for the better! (This is the book I referred to above as not selling very well.)

 

“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” is a call to arms, or rather, a call to pens, paintbrushes, and video cameras, for creative Catholics to take up St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe’s call to infiltrate pop culture and help alleviate the ills that pervade contemporary society. St. Maximilian saw back in the 1920s how the use of cinema, radio, and mass-market books was corrupting society. He thought that those same tools could be used as a countercultural force to overcome this corruption. 

Furthermore, it explains through the example of three critical apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary at Guadalupe, Lourdes, and Fatima how she herself suggested strategies and alternatives to the dehumanizing and increasingly pagan contemporary culture we have today.

“Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics” concludes by showing how the Catholic Faith can be used to provide a road map out of our current morass and a blueprint to build a more just and fair society constructed according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy and other elements of traditional Catholic Social Teachings.

Get it for your Amazon Kindle through this link!

Prefer the paperback? Get it through this link!

Thank you for reading this far, as well as for whatever assistance you can provide. It is greatly appreciated and I will add you to my prayers. St. Jude may also appreciate your cooperating with him in this…

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

St. Jude Thaddeus: Confused with the Traitor

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This is a follow up post to Monday’s one of St. Jude Thaddeus, Apostle and patron saint of alcoholics and addicts. 

As I mentioned in that post, I became enamored with St. Jude when I read several prayer cards of his. They gave me the idea of recruiting him to be a patron of alcoholics.

They also gave me an idea for a series of posts on him. (I’m trying to make up for lost time. I should have become a devotee of his long ago.)

In many prayers to him, he is referred to as being “confused with the traitor.” This is easy, as the traitor is Judas, and so is one version of our saint’s name. Hence it being changed to “Jude.” Nevertheless, in the first few centuries, when literacy was not common and the canonical books of the Christian Scriptures hadn’t been codified until the late 4th century, it is easy to see how he could have been confused with Judas. 

How does this connect to alcoholics? In one way, I liken ‘confused’ to being ‘misunderstood.’ Also, being falsely accused. You are an early Christian and you’re reading texts that are considered sacred or at least important, or they are being read at Mass, and “Judas” comes up. Naturally, you are disposed to feeling very negative towards the person, even though it is not the traitor, just another with the same name. So, people are often thinking very negatively about this person. (Jude was martyred in the year 65. Many of the accepted New Testament texts had been written by then, so it’s even possible that he may have been aware of the confusion with the traitor.) 

One of the consequences of being an alcoholic is being misunderstood. Our motivations are questioned, as is our sincerity. Our behavior leads others to think we are capable of greater sins than what we’ve actually done. In St. Jude, we have an Apostle who is in our corner; he understands the pain of having our actions and character misunderstood. Think about that when you feel as if people do not know (or appreciate) “the real you.” Apostles are the pillars of the Church: her dogmas and doctrines, her safeguarding of the Gospel message of Christ. All Catholic bishops are lineal descendants of the Twelve Apostles. Having an Apostle understand you is a mighty thing.

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I’d like to take the time to reiterate a plea I made at the end of Monday’s post, that of offering some financial assistance to help us bridge the gap between now and Spring. We are experiencing financial stresses, and one way of helping out is by paypalling me whatever you can spare at: PayPal Paul Sofranko. (It is NOT tax-deductible.) You can also mail a check, payable to: Paul Sofranko; and send it to: P.O. Box 358; North Boston, NY 14110.

Another is through the purchase of my books. All are offered through Amazon. My Amazon Author’s Page lists them all. If you wish to find retailers other than Amazon, please visit their pages: The Sober Catholic Way; The Recovery Rosary, The Staions of the Cross for Alcoholics and Building a Civilization of Love: A Call to Creative Catholics.

A third way is to purchase some products I am creating to help promote this blog and apostolate. You can Shop Sober Catholic! That page offers a selection from many other products, such as T-shirts, mugs, rosary cases and zippered book cases, stickers for your laptop, smartphone cases, and much more! You can see the entire product line at The Sober Catholic Pixels Shop! I will begin promoting these soon!

I just added some new products, including some featuring St. Jude and a prayer I wrote for alcoholcs and addicts! 

Thank you for whatever assistance you can provide. It is greatly appreciated and I will add you to my prayers.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

I went on a retreat this weekend and didn’t even realize it

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I went on a retreat this weekend and didn’t even realize it.

I’ve been feeling a combination of being ‘sorry for myself’ and dealing with recurring stress and anxiety (who isn’t these days?) Much of my stress is over chronic pain (fibromyalgia, arthritis, osteoarthritis… if it’s a muscle or a joint, it hurts. And hurts really bad, too. Plus I’ve had two tooth extractions over the past month. Can anyone say “Broken down, crotchety old man?” Not to mention that I’ve been plagued for the past few months by a voice in my head that has been repeatedly putting me down.

When this happens and I want to remain at home, I often select one of Mother Angelica’s books. I’ve written about this before .

And so I opened Mother Angelica’s Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality and read a few passages on pain, meaning accepting it and the benefits of offering it up. I knew all this as I continually ‘offer it up’ for the usual devotional suggestions (reparation for sins – mine, yours, other people’s; reparations for sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary; for the conversion of sinners; for saving souls…….)

And so I felt better. But I could feel even more better. So I watched a few of her classic programs on EWTN On-Demand. I caught one on using the scraps of your life. “Scraps,” according to Mother, are those things in your past that you cannot let go of. All the mistakes, the stupid, rotten, bad things you’ve done or were done to you,  traumas perpetrated against you, and so forth that still haunt you. I know all about scraps; they are the fuel for my fiction writing. I am a firm believer that writing is a form a therapy. Even if you don’t publish a word, creating stories in which you dump all the dumb things you’ve ever done or traumas you’ve experienced to flesh out characters and backstory helps your perspective on them. It also objectifies the pain. But she went on about how the scraps can be used to sanctify yourself. That the scraps of you past life can make you sensitive other people who also are carrying bags of scraps. People who are hurt often are more sensitive to other people who are hurt. 

That latter sentence is where I have some difficulty at times. I’ve seen social media memes that say something like “Hurt people hurt other people.” Meaning that hurt people often lash out at others. Their pain causes them to make others feel pain. (This is often the reason why the ‘bad guys’ in fiction often become bad guys. Something bad happened to them long ago, they never got help or justice and so their pain festered and transformed them into a ‘bad guy’ and they kill a lot of people, or rampage across the galaxy enslaving entire species or go around blowing up planets or are just truly wicked. I wrote about that on my other blog. 

The “where I have some difficulty ‘at times’” is the feeling that lashing out at others can be justified if the ‘bad guy’ never got justice, help or some kind of moral satisfaction against whoever perpetrated the evil done to him. Of course that’s wrong. The ‘bad guy’ is just creating more victims from innocent people; he is extending to others the evil done to him. It is easy to fall prey to the idea of being justified in one’s victimhood; hey, if no one helped me when I was being driven to suicide by my family long ago, why should I be considerate of others?   

OK, I went off on this topic longer that I thought I should, but I’m leaving it in. The thing is, and this is what struck me out of the blue as I was watching Mother talk about sensitivity to others and the marginalized seeking solace in one another due to the accumulated scraps from their past, is that although I didn’t really have an ally or advocate during the many times in my life when I was bullied, mocked and ridiculed or made an outcast, (or driven to consider suicide,) I really did (though I didn’t realize it until later, but that’s OK.) This may sound trite, but my allies were Jesus and His Blessed Mother. I may have mentioned this in a much earlier post (I can’t find it) but I often go to my nearby Adoration Chapel… because I felt summoned to go there. Or to attend a Daily Mass when I didn’t feel like it….because I felt summoned to go there. Same for prayers, at time…. I am just ‘not up to it’ but feel that call to pray a rosary or whatever. 

To me, that means that Jesus and Mary want me around them. Therefore, there is no need for me to ever feel like I’ve never had an advocate or an ally. Yes, it would have been nice for God to have ‘done something’ back when I was going through trials, but we all know, but often forget, that trials are there for a reason. (Mother Angelica has lots to say about that in the book I mentioned way up above. In short, they are there to prune us of our pride, self-will, self-love, and teach humility.) In God’s time, justice will be served, and not earlier. I can, right now, just take some comfort in the fact that I am not alone; besides my wife (who also seems to enjoy having me around, go figure) there is Jesus and Mary asking me to spend some extra time with them every so often. They know about the bad things that have happened to me in the past, all the scraps of my life that still haunt me and mutter in the recesses of my mind that “I’m a loser.” But in their own fashion, they will deal with the people who’ve hurt me. And what they can do about them  is far better than whatever I could have done. By some divine combination of Mercy and Justice, all will come out in the end. I just have to remain cognizant that my pains and agonies can be companions on the journey and not tormenters. I can convert them into assistants to help me to be kinder and more compassionate.

Incidentally, I watched more than just a few of Mother Angelica’s classics on EWTN On-Demand, but the other shows are beyond the scope of this post. But they all contributed to the feeling that I went on a retreat this weekend for a few hours and my head got rescrewed back on. The little negative voices that have been tormenting me these past few months have fallen silent, today. I hope they stay quiet as it may have been a case of demonic oppression, but I hesitate to give extra credit to Satan to what may have merely been low self-esteem. But on the other hand, given the voice’s persistence….

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)