The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak

Continuing on with my Friday (almost) weekly Scripture meditations on the Passion of Our Lord, I managed to get only a few more verses on July 8th than last time.

Matthew 26:41 “Be vigilant and pray, so that you may not enter into temptation. Indeed, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak,” really stuck with me. It should speak to all of us at various stages of our drinking. We want to stop, we know we must. But we can’t. We are addicted.

But we do not have to rely on the flesh for results. Our own will isn’t strong enough. It essentially never is when doing battle. We have to rely on graces from Our Lord. For example:

Matthew 19:26 “But with God, all things are possible.”

Phillipians 4:13 “Everything is possible in him who has strengthened me.”

We cannot overcome our struggles alone. We can try but we will continually fail. Even if we persevere and after each time we rise up and resolve to do better, that still takes its toll.

Granted, saints are made from those who always arise after their fall, but we can take heart that if we learn to allow God to shower us with His graces and let Him “take over,” we can be more successful. Trying to resist temptation on our own willpower will doom us to failure.

Scripture quotes via Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version

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My soul is sorrowful, even unto death

One of my favorite saints, St. Maximilian Maria Kolbe, once suggested somewhere in his writings that we should meditate on the Passion narratives of Our Lord on Fridays. Or was that St. Therese of Lisieux? Another favorite of mine, I’ve been studying her writings recently along with St. Max’s. I might get their suggestions mixed up at times.

Last Friday I started with the account in Matthew’s Gospel. I got as far as:

Matthew 26:38 Then he said to them: “My soul is sorrowful, even unto death. Stay here and keep vigil with me.”

(via Sacred Bible: Catholic Public Domain Version)

I’m a melancholic individual, sometimes depressed or sad for miscellaneous reasons. Sometimes for too long as I tend to dwell on things. I have contemplated suicide three times in my life (1985-86, 1994-95 and late 2005-early 2006. I may discuss them at some point (if I haven’t already, at the moment I didn’t feel like searching for any blogposts on the subject, but there is a post category on it so I must have…)

On the night He was betrayed, He was praying in Gethsemane, praying hard and was “sorrowful, even unto death.” He knew what was coming. He also knew, based on His nature, that He’d survive. And yet He was still “sorrowful, even unto death.”

Those words just stopped me cold and I couldn’t read past that. I’ve read those words numerous times before, and they’ve always brought some comfort. If Jesus can feel that way, that gives us some consolation. God knows everything, but knowing and experiencing something in His human nature AND in His divine nature I think divinizes the experience. We suffer, and are sorrowful so much so at times that our spirit embraces death. Not necessarily becoming suicidal, but the degree of severity to which we are suffering can be “like death.” We, as baptized Catholics, and thus members of the Mystical Body of Christ, can draw upon this when we “offer up” or pains. He knows about them. Not just because He is an omniscient God, but because He’d been there, He suffered them, too.. Our sufferings are gathered up into the Mystical Body, and as He suffered we can draw strength and courage from that.

Ask for the graces…

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Remember the lonely and the lost…

Today is Christmas, the Solemnity of the Nativity of the Lord. For many people it is a happy day, a time for family gatherings with lots of food and gifts and good times with memories to last.

For others, not so much.

Remember those who are lost today. Those who are lonely, have no family, or if they do, are estranged from them. Those who wander about with no hope.

Remember those who are homeless.

Remember those who are jobless and have to endure the humiliation of that state when they gather with family. Being unemployed anytime is horrible enough, but around the holidays it can be particularly embarrassing and humiliating. The personal degradation that you feel while among family members and they know you are out of work. They look at you, speak to you…

Remember those who have to work today…

Remember those who are just going through a rough time; a time of transition and change. The worst Christmas I ever had was ten years ago, Christmas Day 2005. My Mom had died in early November and just before Christmas the executor of her estate informed me that I had to get out of the house (I had been living with Mom for the previous ten years) so the estate can move forward with the sale. I suppose that if I had thought about it at the time I might have coped better, being forced to move might have made me meditate and ponder on the homelessness and wanderings of the Holy Family as they were on the move for the census mandated by the Emperor. Not to put my situation on a par with theirs at all, but the issue could have been handled with far more compassion.

But the executor had little use for compassion and understanding as they are merely baggage that reminds one of your own humanity.

And so after being told that I had to leave within thirty days, I drove about the county in a suicidal mood. The roads were icy and snowy and I was seeking out an appropriate place to ditch the car with me in it in a fatal accident. The “eviction” was the last straw; having been a punching bag for the executor and held with cold indifference by certain other family members was enough. This nearly broke me. I did have the presence of mind to call my priest who “just happened to know someone” who might have an apartment to rent. He did, and so I spent Christmas Day 2005 moving, hauling carload after carload of possessions across town. Alone, just me, as there was no one available to assist.

I knew “aloneness.”

I apologize for the downer post on Christmas, but perhaps you can spend a few moments thinking about those who are spending Christmas in a situation not at all similar to a warm and rosy holiday setting. Offer something up to help them cope.

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Look at the Man!

Today was the Solemnity of the Triumph (or Exaltation) of the Cross.

The Cross was a symbol of failure. Christ was condemned as a criminal and hung on a tree. One would expect His movement would just die shortly after. Humiliated, degraded, mocked, beaten and scorned, and finally given a grisly, horrific form of capital punishment. “Just go away already, vanish and take your followers with you,” was quite possibly the collective thought of the Jewish leaders and Romans.

But no, He rose from the dead, His movement continued and now numbers over two billion adherents. Some of whom even actually follow His teachings.

As sober Catholics, we should be taking the Cross as a sign of our victory. We died in our addiction, and in recovery (however it was accomplished) rose from the “dead.” We “nail it to the Cross,” with “it” being our fears, anxieties, trial and tribulations. We have a partner in Jesus Christ. He is our “Higher Power.”

Look at the Cross, especially one with the corpus of Christ on it. ESPECIALLY one like that, not the empty ones Protestants use. Look at the Man on it! He is your brother, Who suffered much worse than you ever did. Yet He did suffer. Even before His death He wept over the death of His friend, Lazarus. On the night before He died, He was “sorrowful unto death.” That is a heart- and gut- wrenching sorrow. For us it would feel as if there would be no end to it. He knew there would, but what He would have to go through…

Contemplate the Cross. He failed. And in doing so won us a victory.

Christ_of_Saint_John_of_the_Cross

“Christ of Saint John of the Cross” by www.dali-gallery.com. Licensed under Fair use via Wikipedia – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Christ_of_Saint_John_of_the_Cross.jpg#/media/File:Christ_of_Saint_John_of_the_Cross.jpg

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

And the Virgin’s Name was Mary

Yesterday, September 12th was the Optional Memorial of the Holy Name of Mary. I had tried to wrte a post, but couldn’t come up with anything. I still can’t come up with anything terribly deep and profound (not that I often do 😉 ) but still feel compelled to write something. And so here goes an exhortation:

Call on Mary! Saints and mystics (as well as exorcists) have all commented that the name of the Blessed Virgin is terror for the demons. (Yes, there are demons.) Whenever you feel your sobriety is at risk, call upon the name of Mary! I isn’t some magic incantation or anything like that, the name of the Mother of God is a prayer unto itself.

As the Litany of Loretto indicates, Mary’s name comes with many attributes. She is known as:

Mother of Christ
Mother of divine grace
Mother most pure
Mother most chaste
Mother inviolate
Mother undefiled
Mother most amiable
Mother most admirable
Mother of good Counsel
Mother of our Creator
Mother of our Savior
Virgin most prudent
Virgin most venerable
Virgin most renowned
Virgin most powerful
Virgin most merciful
Virgin most faithful
Mirror of justice
Seat of wisdom
Cause of our joy
Spiritual vessel
Vessel of honor
Singular vessel of devotion
Mystical rose
Tower of David
Tower of ivory
House of gold
Ark of the covenant
Gate of heaven
Morning star
Health of the sick
Refuge of sinners
Comforter of the afflicted
Help of Christians
Queen of Angels
Queen of Patriarchs
Queen of Prophets
Queen of Apostles
Queen of Martyrs
Queen of Confessors
Queen of Virgins
Queen of all Saints
Queen conceived without original sin
Queen assumed into heaven
Queen of the most holy Rosary
Queen of families
Queen of peace

So, call your Mother. She’ll be there after all the names on the phone list you got at your first AA meeting didn’t answer.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Daily Adoration

In the post Abiding in Jesus, I mentioned the Real Presence of Our Lord in the Eucharist. The Gospel reading that inspired the post gives me a good excuse to relate something that I’ve been doing since July 1st.

Every day I stop off at my local parish and spend time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. My intention is fifteen minutes in the morning en route to work, but I haven’t quite gotten the discipline down yet of leaving sufficiently early, so I wind up doing about five. If I leave for work with not enough time, then I just spend the fifteen minutes on the way home.

I am not saying this to brag, or to declare that I am “holier than thou,” I do it for myself and for the world. (“Not bragging?”)

For myself, as I feel called to “kick it up a notch” spiritually and one excellent way to do this is to bask for a while, even if for just a short time, in the Presence of Jesus. There are also the usual trials and tribulations that life brings, all the crosses that we have to bear if we are truly be called the followers of Christ.

For the world, as if you have been following the news for quite a while, things are quite terrible. It seems that Satan is pulling triple shifts to tear down the Church and civilization. We all have to choose sides and take up our weapons. Or just become better equipped to cope with things.

Why July 1st? I wanted an aid in doing this and so I ransacked my bookshelves on the Holy Eucharist and found this: Visits to the Blessed Sacrament and the Blessed Virgin Mary
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From the publisher’s blurb: “Here, then,” says St. Alphonsus, “is our heaven on earth–the Most Blessed Sacrament.” This book was conceived and written to help us grow in the knowledge and love of God and in appreciation for what He has done for us. For each of the 31 days of the month, St. Alphonsus provides for us a “Visit to Our Lord”–which is a brief meditation on and a fervent prayer of love toward Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament. Each Visit to Our Lord is followed by a “Visit to Our Lady.”

Since there are meditations for every day of the month, I decided to start on the 1st.

After doing this for 47 days now, I can attest that I have grown “in the knowledge and love of God and in appreciation for what He has done for us.” (“Are we still sure he isn’t bragging?”)

I do feel an increased intimacy with Him. I have always grasped the Real Presence intellectually, but have found it difficult on an emotional level. This is helping with that. I suppose it is true that the more often you spend time with Someone, the more you get to know them and become closer.

The book has 31 meditations, I will be using it for those months with 31 days. For months with 30 days, I’ll be using this: Moments Divine: Before the Blessed Sacrament
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From the publisher: “This pious book is especially suited for use any time before the Blessed Sacrament. Each of the 30 chapters contain true stories, various prayers, an Act of Contrition, Sacred Heart reading, Spiritual Communion and so much more. … it will enrich any devotional collection and inspire greater love for Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.”

I have a few other little books and things to do while I’m with Him, but the above books provide the focus.

I have exhorted you all often in the past to spend time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to do this. Just for in and of itself, (like, why would you need an excuse to spend time with Our Lord?) but also as an aid in the spiritual warfare destroying the world.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

in all our affairs

We practice these principles in all our affairs, taking the vision of God’s Will into our lives asking, “Not my will, but thine be done.”

When stumbling along the path, confused, angry, irritated or just plain lost, we recite: “God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

For we may be the only Gospel of Christ or Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that anyone sees that day. We must be ever mindful of that, as well as when we meet other people throughout the day, that moment is but a snapshot of who they are along their journey. And that moment doesn’t define them.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

WWJD

There’s a fad, mostly over, I think, concerning how a Christian should behave in a particular situation. “WWJD,” as in “What Would Jesus Do?” The implication is that He would be “nice.”

There’s a joke going around the Internet which suggests that whenever asked, “WWJD?,” you should state something like: “An acceptable response might be to grab a rope, make a whip out of it and go berserk against wrongdoers.”

An excerpt from the Gospel from today’s Mass for the Third Sunday of Lent:

John 2: 15-16

“And when he had made something like a whip out of little cords, he drove them all out of the temple, including the sheep and the oxen. And he poured out the brass coins of the moneychangers, and he overturned their tables.

And to those who were selling doves, he said: “Take these things out of here, and do not make my Father’s house into a house of commerce.””

via Catholic Public Domain Version of the Sacred Bible.

Jesus was angry. If you’ve been in a Twelve Step recovery program long enough, you’ll hear things like “anger is best used by people who can handle it,” which is essentially correct as we alcoholics, even after a long time in sobriety, have a difficult time with anger. We dwell on those things that make us angry, we obsess about them, and sometimes resentments develop.

Does this mean we should never become angry? An impossible task if you ask me. So it could suggest that we should “pick and choose” what we get angry about.

Of course, this takes practise. A recitation of the “Serenity Prayer” often throughout the day might help.

Also, anticipation of things that might happen during the course of your day is good, too. In any given normal day, certain situations arise which typically might make you want to reach for a whip and drive people away from you because they are annoying or irritating. Would that we could.

So plan ahead.

Another thing: the world is crazy and getting crazier. You might want to “pick and choose” what news you pay attention to. Don’t become an ostrich and plant your head in the sand and ignore the world; just be careful regarding your news intake (however you manage it – news sites, social media feeds, whatever.)

But what about righteous anger? Again, sometimes that “is best used by people who can handle it.” But I think that as Catholic Christians we should not take the easy way out and say that because “we’re alcoholics and addicts, we can’t deal with social problems since our sobriety might be threatened.” We have access to the Sacraments, namely the Mass and the Eucharist to help give us strength and courage. We can get interested in life issues, homelessness and poverty. We are called to do that. Within our means and abilities, yes, but we should not ignore problems for others to handle.

Again, the Serenity Prayer can help. Also the realization that we can do things in solidarity with others.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Wash yourselves clean!

The Reading from the Morning Prayer for Saturday of the First Week of Lent:

Isaiah 1: 16-18

“Wash yourselves clean! Put away your misdeeds from before my eyes; cease doing evil; learn to do good. Make justice your aim; redress the wronged, hear the orphan’s plea, defend the widow. Come now, let us set things right, says the Lord:

Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; Though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool.”

via DivineOffice.org.

Today is Saturday, a day in which almost all Catholic parishes offer the Sacrament of Reconciliation (a/k/a Confession). Avail yourself of it, and like the Prophet says, “Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; Though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool!”

Make use of it often for the more you go, the less painful and scary it becomes. You gradually appreciate the effects it has upon your soul and overall spiritual development. I recommend at least once a month. (Yeah, you heard me! 😉 )

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Fled to the Lord

Esther was a Queen, and secretly Jewish and living in Persia. The Persian king Ahasuerus had decided to commit genocide against her people living in exile within his realm. She prayed to the Lord for deliverance for them.

An excerpt from the First Reading from today’s Mass on the Thursday of the First Week of Lent:

Eshter C: 12

“And Esther the queen, seized with deathly anxiety, fled to the Lord…”

via EWTN.

“Deathly anxiety,” some translations read “mortal anguish.” Anyway, we’ve all been there in the depths of our drinking or using. We reached that point where we have to decide, “Do I continue to drink and then die, or do I wish to stop and just wish I were dead? (knowing full well the pain of facing life without the crutch of alcohol).”

Be it mortal anguish or deathly anxiety, what would seem like an easy choice for most people is fraught with pain as you cannot see a way out.

And you have no recourse except to the Lord. For many of us, He sent someone or arranged a situation where we were pulled out. And sometimes we did not see the help offered.

Pray for those who still suffer…

(Lest anyone think I am making light of attempted genocide by linking Esther’s actions to a person suffering from addiction and seeking a way out; I am not. One goal of this blog is to link Sacred Scripture to recovery, even when the connection doesn’t really exist. Scripture is about salvation for all, God’s plan for humanity as revealed over time. At times we can draw something from Scripture that is not a direct connection with the original event.)

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)