Category Archives: Heaven

Run so as to win

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The Evening Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours for the Second Sunday on Lent is from 1 Corinthians 9:24-25;

While all the runners in the stadium take part in the race, the award goes to one man. In that case, run so as to win! Athletes deny themselves all sorts of things. They do this to win a crown of leaves that withers, but we a crown that is imperishable.

Source: DivineOffice.org

If athletes can deny themselves all sorts of things for a prize that is transtory (after all, who remembers who won a particular championship years ago? And if that team hasn’t won one since, is that much comfort to fans who want a championship this year?) then we, as sober(ing) Catholics, can deny ourselves the allures of the immediate gratification of alcohol and drugs for the ultimate prize: Heaven. 

Keep your eyes on the prize as you trudge your road of happy destiny.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Living with the Lord

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The Verse before the Gospel for the Friday after Ash Wednesday is from the Book of Amos, 5:14

Seek good and not evil so that you may live,
and the Lord will be with you.

Courtesy USCCB

Seems fairly simple. We seek the good and shun the evil, and we may live (Heaven being our destiny, but that’s not assured as we have to persevere to the end.) The Lord will be with us and if we continue to seek the good, it seems fairly certain that (perhaps after a time spent in Purgatory) we’ll live forever with Jesus and our loved ones in Heaven.

When I was reviewing the day’s Mass readings to pick one for this post, this verse from Amos jumped out primarily because I had the visual image of Heaven popping out at me when I got to the word ‘live.’ This reminded me of the four qualities that our glorified bodies will possess if we make it to Heaven. I think it was St. Thomas Aquinas who developed them from studying the post-Resurrection accounts of Jesus. Since in Heaven, we will be like Him, it is reasonable to assume that we will have bodies like His.  The four qualities our glorified bodies are:

Glory: Sometimes called Beauty, this is liked as to an aura. Our bodies shine with a glow that is as bright as it merits. Some saints in Heaven glow with brightness of a trillion suns, other barley flicker. This all depends upon the life lived while in Time on Earth. As there is only Love in Heavem and bo jealousy, resentment, or envy, no one is dissatisfied with their aura. (When compared with the alternative…)

Impassability: This is the lack of suffering and pain. Everyone shares this equally. No more physical pain, no agony, no suffering from the surrounding environment (in the post-Resurrection Heaven, with its ‘New Heavens and New Earth, we can assume there are all sorts of places to visit, with every environment imaginable. This part makes sense when we get to the next two qualities.) But in addition to the lack of physical pain and suffering, there is a total absence of anxiety, anger, fear, want, hunger, drudgery, despondency, regret, resentment, and so on. No mental or spiritual suffering. 

Subtility: The ability to pass through solid objects. Jesus did this; He walked through the locked door in the Upper Room when He appeared to His disciples. There are other accounts pre-Resurrection when He passed through people. 

Agility: the ability to move at the speed of angels; some describe this as the ability to move at the speed of thought, or the will. You wish to go somewhere far away, you’ll be there in not time.

The existence of these last two qualities implies that the post-resurrevtion Heaven will be a vast, infinitely large physical place. We’d need subtility and agility in order to get anywhere (despite having an eternity to get anywhere, it’s still nice to get there at once.) Agility demands the existence of subtility: if you wish to travel somewhere exceedingly far away, chances are there’s many physical objects between you and your destination. 

If you dwell on these, they may cause you to yearn for Heaven even more than you do now. Assuming that you do. I’ve been ready for over 20 years, but I’m still trudging down here.

There’sa wonderful book that I recommend for you if you wish to explore this further. It helped me a lot in healing after my Mom’s death in 2005. The book is called A Travel Guide to Heaven, by Anthony DeStefano. The link to the book has additional links to where it’s available to purchase. It’s a great read, especially if you miss someone you love, and occasionally wonder if this life is worth putting up with. Compared to what’s waiting for us, it is!

From the site’s book blurb:

What Will Heaven Be Like?
“A Travel Guide to Heaven…bubbles joyously about an incredible Technicolor afterlife that makes the journey over the rainbow to Oz pale in comparison.” –New York Times

Down through the centuries, there have been thousands of books written about the subject of heaven. Some have been great theological tomes, some brilliant essays, other beautiful poems. Religious and secular writers from all walks of life have attempted to describe and explain this most elusive of concepts. And yet, while all of these efforts have added to our understanding of heaven, most of them have been missing one key ingredient: FUN.

If heaven is anything at all, it’s fun. It’s a place of unlimited pleasure, unlimited happiness, and unlimited joy. It’s Disney World, Hawaii, Paris, Rome and New York all rolled up into one. And it’s forever.

If your picture of heaven could use a little fine-tuning, then this remarkable book is just the ticket. Fueled by the author’s profound faith, his bold vision, and his irresistible sense of adventure, A TRAVEL GUIDE TO HEAVEN takes us on a virtual tour of eternal life.

This is one trip you won’t want to miss!

And again, you can find places to buy it here: A Travel Guide to Heaven, by Anthony DeStefano.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Gracious and merciful is he

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An excerpt from the First Reading from the Book of Joel (2:12-14) for Ash Wednesday:

Even now, says the LORD,
return to me with your whole heart,
with fasting, and weeping, and mourning;
Rend your hearts, not your garments,
and return to the LORD, your God.
For gracious and merciful is he,
slow to anger, rich in kindness,
and relenting in punishment.
Perhaps he will again relent
and leave behind him a blessing,
Offerings and libations
for the LORD, your God.

Courtesy USCCB

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent; that liturgical season when Christians shed their character defects, attempt to turn away from sin and grow closer to Jesus. We make advances in our spiritual progress; while not technically a period when we engage in ‘self-help’, nevertheless, in amending our lives and turning away from sin, we try to become better people with the hope that when Lent ends, we retain the good we have become.

Since Lent is the time when we approach the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Jesus, and He underwent all of tht in a propitiatory offering for our sins, we may tend to think of God as an angry god seeking to mete out punshment.

But as we see from the Old Testament Book of Joel, we are reminded that when we turn to God with our heart, truly sorrowful for our sins, He does not respond with punitive justice. He is gracious, merciful, slow to anger (likely due to He knows we are weak and frail,) rich in kindness and will relent in His punishments. All we need to do is truly come to terms with our sins, see them in light of the eternity that awaits us, and cast off the behavior that separates us from Him. And when we do that, He will open His arms wide to embrace us.

Become a better person this Lent. Look at your sins in the light of eternity.  

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Lourdes, the Immaculate Conception, the Militia of the Immaculata and Sobriety

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Reblogged from several years ago and edited slightly:

This is a story about a Marian feast day, its significance; a saint and what he did with it; and what all this meant for yours truly.

Today is February 11th, day when  Our Lady appeared to St. Bernadette Soubirous in a grotto near Lourdes, France in 1858.

The apparition was significant in several respects: the most important was that Our Lady identified herself with the words, “I am the Immaculate Conception.” Not that she was “immaculately conceived,” but rather she was the essence of the immaculate conception. As St. Maximilian Kolbe later pointed out (this is a paraphrase) “To be white is one thing, to be whiteness is another.”

For another, it seemed as if Heaven was endorsing the definition of the Dogma of Mary’s Immaculate Conception in 1854 by Pope Pius IX in Ineffabilis Deus:

“We declare, pronounce and define that the doctrine which asserts that the Blessed Virgin Mary, from the first moment of her conception, by a singular grace and privilege of almighty God, and in view of the merits of Jesus Christ, Saviour of the human race, was preserved free from every stain of original sin is a doctrine revealed by God and, for this reason, must be firmly and constantly believed by all the faithful.”

And one more: that Mary’s self-identification as the Immaculate Conception was utterly fascinating and mysterious to St. Maximilian Kolbe, who meditated and pondered on it his entire life. It inspired his “Militia of the Immaculata” and associated media enterprises and friaries.

I discovered St. Maximilian Kolbe and the Militia of the Immaculata in 2002, after I had sobered up sufficiently to search online for what the Catholic Church has to offer me in recovery. As I had stated in my Reversion story, “I had been going to AA meetings, but I knew early on that the brand of spirituality offered there was not going to do the job.” And so I explored the religion of my childhood and never looked back. That St. Max was a patron of addicts helped. When I learned that, I explored more about him.

So I found out about St. Max and the M.I. The M.I. calls for consecrating oneself to the Blessed Mother as her “possession and property” so she can “make of me, of all my powers of soul and body, of my whole life, death and eternity, whatever most pleases” her. That she will use me as “a fit instrument in your immaculate and merciful hands for introducing and increasing your  (note: God’s) glory to the maximum in all the many strayed and indifferent souls, and thus help extend as far as possible the blessed kingdom of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus.” I figured if that’s true (and I never doubted the Blessed Mother) then this may help in my recovery. I doubt that remaining a drunk would be of use to her. This blog post Marian Consecration and the Guarantee of Eternal life expands on how Marian Consecration can help your sobriety. In short, when you become Mary’s possession, she guides you along the path to Jesus. Consecration can heal you, not in any miraculous way (but that could happen!) but it can help you focus and give a new dimension to your prayer and devotional life. I firmly believe that if you consecrate yourself to Mary, the probability of relapse should vanish (your willing cooperation with the graces received through Mary’s interession is assumed.)

And so on October 7, 2002, on the Memorial of Our Lady of the Rosary, I gave myself to Mother Mary. I joined the M.I. which “is a universal and international public Association of the faithful, erected by the Holy See. The MI was founded by St. Maximilian Kolbe, OFMConv., in 1917, is open to Catholics, of all walks of life, and encourages all people of good will to develop a trusting relationship with Our Lady. The aim of the MI is to win the whole world for Christ through the Immaculata, Mother of God and of the Church.

“The MI is a global vision of Catholic life under a new form, consisting in the bond with the Immaculata, our universal Mediatrix before Jesus.” -St. Maximilian Kolbe.

The MI offers programs that: -Provide formation in the teachings of the Catholic Church
-Foster love for Jesus in the Eucharist and for the Sacramental life
-Promote a deep understanding of the Blessed Virgin Mary’s role in the plan of Salvation and of the gift of consecration to her in the spirit of St. Maximilian Kolbe.
-Ignite with the zeal to become generous instruments of evangelization in one’s own environment, giving witness to the Truth and promoting the sacredness of human life. M.I. members, mindful of their call to evangelize, strive to give witness to the Faith everywhere. They seek to reach out to their own families, friends, co-workers, fellow parishioners, the sick and elderly, youth, adults, and whomever they meet, in order to lead every individual with Mary to Christ, Our Savior and Our Hope.

(Above quote courtesy of M.I. You can also visit that link to learn more about the MI and St. Maximilian Kolbe, along with possibly joining yourself!)

I think Mary started using me right afterwards. She strengthened me against what I perceived as attacks against my Faith in my AA Home Group as well as giving me the courage to stop attending meetings regularly in 2004. Not that I am advocating everyone should stop going to meetings; on the contrary, if you enjoy and need regular meeting attendance, by all means do it. It just wasn’t for me.

Once I drifted from AA, I began looking into what recovery resources the Church offers. You can read about that here: “About this blog.” After a whle I just decided to start Sober Catholic; I mentioned in some earlier post that I believe the Blessed Virgin Mary “inspired” me to do it. A “fruit,” if you will, of of my M.I. Consecration. Not that I received any interior locution or some such thing, just a desire that since no one else was doing this at the time, I might as well. I doubt I’d have the courage on my own.

So here’s the story: A apparition of the Blessed Mother; a saint’s taking that apparition and message and developing it; and a marginal ex-drunk finding a personal mission in it – Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny and taking whoever bothers to read this stuff along with him.

So that’s that! The sanctuary or Our Lady of Lourdes in France is famous for miraculous healings wrought there. Over 7,000 miralulous healinga have been reported since 1858; only 72 (so far) have been confirmed by the Church to me truly miraculous.) Because of that, Pope St. John Paul II also declared today to be the “World Day of the Sick” in 1993. We alcoholics, even though we may be sober, are still “sick.”

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Indulgenced Cemetery Visits Devotion for November 1-8

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This is an annual post on a fruitful pious devotion for November:

Catholic Culture has an excellent article regarding a very beneficial pious activity that can aid in your own spiritual progression. It also is a good reminder of where we’ll end up someday. (A grave. Morbid, true, but you wouldn’t be here unless you’re more aware than most people that you will die someday.)

Praying for the Dead and Gaining Indulgences During November is something I blog about here annually. It is about the act of visiting a cemetery during the first 8 days of November.

To summarize from the “Catholic Culture” site: “Indulgenced Acts for the Poor Souls: A partial indulgence can be obtained by devoutly visiting a cemetery and praying for the departed, even if the prayer is only mental. One can gain a plenary indulgence visiting a cemetery each day between November 1 and November 8. These indulgences are applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory.

A plenary indulgence, again applicable only the Souls in Purgatory, is also granted when the faithful piously visit a church or a public oratory on November 2. In visiting the church or oratory, it is required, that one Our Father and the Creed be recited. A partial indulgence, applicable only to the Souls in Purgatory, can be obtained when the Eternal Rest  is prayed. This is a good prayer to recite especially during the month of November:  ‘Eternal rest grant to them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.'”

The article explains the differences between plenary and partial indulgences.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hindering God’s Love: self-love as a bad choice

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I went to Confession tonight before Vigil Mass and we had a different priest (a visiting priest from somewhere as ours is in Rome on pilgrimage.) 

This priest was one of those who talked a little after you finished reciting your sins and how many times you committed them. He said something that will remain with me until the day I die. I’ll paraphrase as I don’t remember his exact wording:

“God loves you, despite whatever sins you’ve committed; remember that: God loves you despite everything. However, (and this is the part that’s going to ‘remain with me until the day I die’) our sins hinder our experience of God’s love.”

Wow. I never thought of it that way. I know that sins block or inhibit God’s graces (mortal sins cut you off completely from Divine grace; venial sins clog up the channels of grace like cholesterol does in the bloodstream) but I never really viewed it in the manner of “hindering our experience” of God’s love. I mean, I know that God always loves me no matter what, but I think I conceived of that in a more abstract way, like He loves me but when in deep sin His love is still there, but not a very active way. Sort of like when you love your spouse or child or friend or whoever but when they really tick you off  you’re  a little cool towards them for a while, even though you still love still them.

God is better than that. He’s bigger than your sins and while it is true that sin blocks the flow of grace (that free gift of spiritual help, succor, and support from God) His love is still present and ready to manifest itself when you repent and turn back. God is unchanging. God’s love for you is eternal: even if you were damned and you find yourself in Hell, God still loves you (as shown by His respecting your free will choices in life of rejecting Him and His will and law. True, real, love does not force itself on anyone who doesn’t want it. You avoid God, avoid Church, avoid praying, adopt a purely secular life and viewpoint, mock religion and belief, then the consequences of your decisions land you in Hell. You didn’t want to pay any attention to God during your lifetime, you expect to send eternity with Him in Heaven? Many saints have written that the pains of Hell is the pain of Loss of God: that at the moment of death you experience God face-to-face and that marks your soul somehow; and if you merit Hell, the sudden loss of that vision of God and “what could have been yours forever, the possession and knowledge and vision of God” is the pain, like fire, of Hell. 

Anyway, this “hindering our experience” of God’s love is an important point for us sober Catholics to consider. I’ve written numerous times and you must have read it countless times elsewhere in your spiritual reading that addiction is a “hole in the soul” that we addicts and alcoholics fill with the wrong stuff. Drugs, liquor, pornography, whatever: we seek God but in all the wrong places. God loves us through all of this, but the actions of that love is missed by us. Sometimes when we are in a rally dark place we finally see it and then our recovery begins.

But when we try to fill that hole in our soul with something other than God, or when we persist in a chronic, repeated sin (which may or may not be an addiction, but is an inordinate desire for something contrary to our good) we experience not God’s love, but our own self-love. By ‘self-love’ I do not refer to the healthy kind that is a positive, well-balanced self-assessment; the decent, well-ordered self-esteem kind. I mean that love which puts self-gratification and self-will first; it could be narcissistic; at any rate, it is inward directed as opposed to “other directed,” the “other” being other people. 

Think about that. Imagine how transformed our lives could become if we just made a “fearless and searching” examination of conscience, took a long, hard look at our sins, especially those we routinely confess every time we go, and saw how those sins are a search for God’s love but in the wrong places. We can then petition the Holy Spirit to help us turn to God whenever we seek something other than Him.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Ensuring salvation “…at the hour of our death.”

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Have you ever thought about the hour of your death? Not just about your death in general, or how long you might live. But exactly when you’ll die?

This is the last chance for Satan to snatch you from the Lord. Unless you’ve prepared yourself by way of the Sacraments, prayer and a lifetime of “spiritual progress,” your final minutes on Earth will be The Enemy’s last chance to get you for Itself for all Eternity.

Worried? There’s a prayer for that!

It’s Mom to the rescue! Doesn’t Mom make everything better? Well, same thing for when you’re about to face the end of your mortal existence.

The venerable and ancient prayer of the Church to the Blessed Mother, said by millions of Catholics daily in the Rosary is the succor for such a worry.

“Hail Mary full of Grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.”

See those last six words? “…at the hour of our death.”

Mary will watch over you. But not just you, when you say the “Hail Mary” on the Rosary or just by itself in moments of need, you are offering it up for other people as well. It does not say “pray for me, a sinner,  at the hour of my death,” but rather,  “pray for us sinners,” so you’re not just praying for yourself, but for other people, too, now, and at the hour of their death. And when you think of it that way, all of these people are also praying for Our Lady’s intercession at the hour of your death, too. It’s a community thing of the Church Militant (those members of the Mystical Body of Christ still alive on Earth.)

Now, here’s where I wander over into left field a little (or, score a “wonder goal” or have a “moment of magic,” which are the soccer/futbol equivalents of baseball’s “out of left field” idiom, I’m told.)

I have been dwelling on the Hail Mary recently, especially that petition to pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death and its connection to the persistent teaching of numerous saints, especially St. Maximilian Kolbe, St, Louis DeMontfort, St. Alphonsus Liguori, and St. Leonard of Port-Maurice, that those who are devoted, or consecrated, to the Blessed Virgin Mary are never “lost,” that is, “damned.” Their salvation is ensured (but not necessarily guaranteed. You still have to maintain sincerity of faith and steer clear of mortal sins. But that all should be easier with Mary’s help.)

This is NOT the Catholic version of the deeply heretical and unbiblical “Once Saved, Always Saved” idea that a few non-Catholics hold. (Don’t these people read St. Paul?) But is infers that as Our Lady is also our Mother, and as she loves us more than we can ever know, if we give ourselves to her, she will protect us at the hour of our death from the attacks of Hell.

Let’s take an example of one of these devotional promises. There’s a practice known as The Three Hail Marys. You are recommended to pray three Hail Mary’s every morning upon rising and again upon retiring to bed; at the end of the prayers you ask Mary to “preserve me from mortal sin this day (or night.”) You do this every day and when you die, you will not go to Hell (Purgatory, however, maybe!) 

This may be easier to comprehend and accept when you really understand the importance of the collective prayer of the Church Militant when praying the Rosary or a Hail Mary. The sheer number of prayers ascending to Heaven asking Our Lady to intervene for us during our final moments here in Time is huge. Just think about it: there are hundreds of millions, perhaps billions, of Hail Marys are said every day. There’re 53 said in the Rosary alone, plus numerous other times in other prayers. Multiply those by however many are reciting their prayers… Now multiply that for every day until the final day for you on Earth. That’s potentially hundreds of billions of petitions, if not trillions over the course of  a life, for Our Lady to protect you from Hell’s final furious assault on your soul. 

Therefore, it stands to reason that this is not pious silliness, but a reasonable conviction of the faithful and a reliable promise by Our Mother. If you sincerely pray the Rosary every day, or recite the Three Hail Marys, or some other Marian devotion related to all this, then you will not be damned. And one thing bears mentioning: it doesn’t mean that you can do this and then intentionally go off and commit serious sins, and often, thinking that we’re going to be saved just because we’re saying three Hail Mary’s or a daily Rosary. We all lead sinful lives, but the difference is the willful intent to sin versus the willful intent to not sin, and to reinforce that desire through repentance and frequenting the sacraments. Presumption of God’s mercy and exploiting Our Lady’s priviliges will quickly land you in the hot place. 

There is another method to ensure our salvation. I won’t go into it here as I’ve covered it already (quite well, if I say so myself 😉) in this post on Marian Consecration and the Guarantee of Eternal life. PLEASE READ THAT, TOO! It goes well with this post. Here’s another post on the subject, written wayback in the early days of SoberCatholic: “Now and at the Hour of Our Death”

 A RECOMMENDATION FOR YOU: The I Miss Christendom YouTube Channel lists 5 Things Catholics Can Do To Ensure Salvation. These are:

  • The Three Hail Marys (post on that here.)
  • The Brown Scapular (I don’t think I’ve written anything on that, but a post on sacramentals is being drafted.)
  • The Daily Rosary (I’ve written numerous posts on the Rosary, as well as a book on the Rosary.)
  • The Nine First Fridays  (My post on that is here.)
  • The Five First Saturdays (I wrote on that here.)

Note: This was previously published on Paul Sofranko Space. It’s been edited and significantly expanded for SoberCatholic.

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Hurt people hurt people

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I often run across memes online with the phrase “Hurt people hurt people.” This means that people who have been hurt turn around and hurt others. It is assumed that since they’ve never experienced any healing from the hurt, or even justice for it, the  wound festers and they respond by hurting others.

I sympathize with the rationale behind “hurt people hurt people.” It’s hard to be sensitive to other people’s pain when your own has never been completely healed, or the ones who hurt you seem to continue on happy and healthy as if nothing happened.

I do not always think that the pain rendered unto me by the actions of my family after my Mom died in 2005 has ever been completely dealt with, and certainly “justice” (however that is defined) has never been enacted. Nor has the pain from the trauma my sister visited upon me in 1995 been dealt with (I thought I had blogged about that incident, but I can’t find any post on it. So be it, let it rest, for now. 2025 is the 20th and 30th anniversaries of many traumas. The dates are coming up in a coiuple of months.) For all of that, it’s easy for me at times to be resentful and less than empathic towards others. I am a hurt person who once in a while hurts others. Bear in mind that everyone does this; but at least I know the source of where it comes from. We all walk around broken and wounded. The wounds are there; some healed over, others not so much. 

It is obvious from all this that people need healing, and that access to effective and affordable mental health resources is imperative. Also, people need to embrace forgiveness. If a hurt person cannot get access to mental health resources, then “forgiveness” may help as far as it goes.

There is one method by which a person who has been hurt can find healing and perhaps justice as well. Although much patience is required.

“Vengeance is mine, says the Lord, I will repay.”

That is a passage from the Bible. You can’t get a better method of justice than God going to bat for you and doing unto others what should be done unto them.

St. Paul refers to it explicitly in his Letter to the Romans:

Romans 12: 17-19

“Render to no one harm for harm. Provide good things, not only in the sight of God, but also in the sight of all men.

If it is possible, in so far as you are able, be at peace with all men.

Do not defend yourselves, dearest ones. Instead, step aside from wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is mine. I shall give retribution, says the Lord.”

St. Paul was quoting (“For it is written”) the Book of Deuteronomy 32:35: “Vengeance is mine, and I will repay them in due time, so that their foot may slip and fall.” 

Granted, this is something that will happen “in God’s time;” and while we would rather those who’ve hurt us to get their comeuppance in our lifetime (and quickly!) and maybe even being able to witness it; this is one of those things that it is better to wait for. God’s justice is sweeter when it happens when it’s supposed to. 

It is also important to note that the people on whom God will wreak His vengeance and justice on are those who are unrepentant. I think that if those who’ve hurt you realize the gravity of their actions and repent, even if they do not outright make amends to you, “somehow” God will pass a healing on to you. (Based on this, my family hasn’t repented; I have passed out of family history, mostly fogotten and unregarded. At best, a footnote mentioned at gatherings.)

Another Scripture verse harkens to this vengeance:

Psalm 23:5 “You set a table before me in front of my enemies…”

What better vengeance than for God to bestow His blessings on you in the sight of those who’ve hurt you? This could be in this life; your ‘enemies’ witnessed you moving on from the pain they’ve caused and you seem (outwardly, at least) unharmed.

But it could also be in the next life. You die and enter Heaven, joining in the celebrations of the “wedding feast of the Lamb (Rev 19:1-10).” That incredible eternal feast which takes place after the Second Coming and the final triumph of good over evil and the resurrection of the dead, where all the faithful gather in joyous union with the glorified Christ.

Just think about the possibility of your unrepentant and unforgiven enemies witnessing this from the tortures of Hell (which I think may be one way to increases their suffering.) These are the people who have willfully done you serious harm; whether it be crimes such as physical or psychological abuse, or something else (neglect, bigotry, prejudice…) They have also probably harmed many others. Now they are paying the price for their sins and deservedly so. 

Take heart, of sorts: there is no need for you to nurture the pain with in you as a reminder of past injuries, dwelling on the injustices done unto you and dreaming of a way to get even; or, worse, spread the pain onto others by treating them the same way you had been. For when a “hurt person” “hurts others,” they are no better than those who’ve hurt them. Worse, even for they know the pain and should be sensitive to that pain in others.

Leave it up to God. He knows exactly why those people hurt you. He knows what’s in their hearts and souls and He alone can wreak proper justice. If that includes Divine Vengerance, so be it. Better Him than you. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Counsel

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The fourth of the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit is “Counsel.”

According to Catholic Answers::

Counsel allows a man to be directed by God in matters necessary for his salvation.

I mentioned in the post on Knowledge:

If you look over the list of the seven gifts, you can conclude that all depend upon and work with each other. All the more reason for us to draw closer to the Holy Spirit. We ask for the “wisdom to know” about things we have to deal with and the things of the spirit: the moral and ethical decisions that confront us. Stick close to the Sacraments as they enliven the indwelling of the Holy Spirit within you.

It appears to me that “Wisdom” and “Knowledge” (as well as “Understanding” contribute to “Counsel.” Once you have cultivated those first three, Counsel seems to naturally follow.

We are all “Trudging the Road of Happy Destiny,” and we need not go it alone. While the fellowship of a Twelve Step movement may appeal to some, it isn’t all there is. Cultivating a relationship with the Holy Spirit isn’t something we should only pay attention to in the latter part of the Easter season. It should be an ongoing, daily thing (I’m also speaking to myself on this!) Walking with the Church in the liturgical year, confessing your sins regularly (at least once a month) and most definitely developing a relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary (the one and only Spouse of the Holy Spirit.) 

When I decided to write this series of posts of the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit, I wasn’t aware that I’d be developing the idea that the gifts aren’t necessarily separate things, but are a contiguous whole. Perhaps “as if” there is “one gift” but it has seven interdependent components, all contributing to the whole. 

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)

Paolo Mancini and the eternal implications of being misunderstood

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Paolo Mancini was the husband of St. Rita of Cascia, who is the patron saint for my alcoholism recovery because she picked me to be her client and my sobriety date is her feast day. St. Rita is known for many things, among them she is the patroness of those in abusive marriages. This was because Paolo was reputed to be a violent, hot-tempered man.

But Paolo is slowly being rehabilitated. Why? Soot from candle smoke. The following block quotes are from The Catholic Travel Guide.

Very often Saint Rita is portrayed as a long- suffering and even abused wife, whose husband was a violent drunkard, and an unfaithful spouse. The tradition behind this story dates far into history and has been repeated almost without variation down to our own time. The fact is that the story is rooted in a tradition now known to be erroneously based, as well as inconsistent with other details of Rita’s story.

After Rita died her:

casket was decorated inside and out with images depicting Rita, Jesus and Mary Magdalene, as well as with symbols illustrating the spiritual influences on her life. There was also engraved upon its outer cover a poem which spoke of Rita, her suffering and her love. Pilgrims would come to pray before this casket, which was never buried in the ground but remained in a small room within the convent, exposed to the view of visitors. Here they would place devotional candles as signs of their affection and reminders of their prayers. Over many decades the smoke from these candles darkened the casket, eventually making it difficult to read clearly the poetic inscription. In time someone noticed that the poem spoke of a maritu feroce or violent husband.

It was not until the 20th century, when the nuns of Cascia had the monumental casket cleaned and restored, that the maritu feroce vanished. It was discovered that the actual wording was tantu feroce (so violent) and the context clearly referred to the fierce wound of Rita’s thorn, a suffering of quite a different kind.

Source: The Catholic Travel Guide.

Everyone is misunderstood to varying degrees. Perhaps people who are recovering from alcoholism and addictions are more often misuderstood than others. We have experienced our fair share, (and then some!) of misunderstandings. Unless we are famous, or infamous, these vanish after our deaths as we pass from the memories of the people we knew. Sometimes after death, the bad memories that people hold of the dead fade, and mostly good memories remain. Perhaps this is an indication of the person’s eternal fate? 

Everyone today who is familiar with St. Rita of Cascia is also aware of Paolo’s reputation. Which might suck for him given that he’s been dead for around 600 or so years. But does it suck? 

If you’ve read biographies of St. Rita, you learned that her husband died a violent death. He was ambushed and murdered by rivals of some sort. To me, this indicates that while his reputation for being a violent and abusive husband is likely false, it does not necessarily follow that he lead a life of heroic virtue and was a living saint. The circumstances about his death clearly imply that right or wrong, he had enemies who took his life. So, he wasn’t a bad husband, but he may have, in years past, been involved in shady dealings. 

I say “in years past” because it can be taken from St. Rita’s biographers that she did pray intensely for Paolo’s conversion for many years after they were married. So, piece together the clues, and it is reasonable to conclude that for the first bunch of years after they were married, Paolo may have been a loving husband as regards to Rita and was a good provider; however, he may not have been an erstwhile churchgoer, and had incurred a few enemies along the way who wanted him dead, years after Rita brought him back into the Church.

After Paolo’s murder, Rita was distraught over his murder. He had died a sudden death with no preparations for it; as in he didn’t confess his sins beforehand or had viaticum. She grieved over the fate of his soul and prayed hard for his salvation. St. Rita’s biographers indicate that she had recieved a signal grace from Heaven that her prayers for her dead husband’s soul moved God to mercy and Paolo was received into the loving arms of Jesus.

But does this matter now to Paolo? The title of this post is “Paolo Mancini and the eternal implications of being misunderstood.” If Paolo is in Heaven as the story suggests, would he care that he is still regarded as an abusive husband? 

For that matter, does St. Mary Magdalene care that she is known by many as the prostitute that Jesus saved from being stoned? There is some doubt amongst scholars as to which of the numerous “Marys” is the prostitute. 

If you are in Heaven, would you give a shredded scapular over what people back on Earth think of you? You’re in the Beatific Vision, that blessed realm of Heaven where you enjoy God’s Holy Presence and you see Him as He is. What difference does it make what those still trudging their road of destiny think of you? If and when they arrive, they’ll learn the truth about Paolo and the Magdalene, and THAT will remain with them as opposed to the transitory reputation wrongfully attributed to them. (And if they end up in the Other Place, who cares what they thought?)

What’s the lesson in all this as it applies to Sober Catholics? Keep fighting the good fight, “keep your side of the street clean” as they say in AA, work on your soul, keep trudging onward towards Heaven and fret not about what others think of you. Easier said than done, but after no one is saying or doing anything on Earth and in Time, Truth reigns forever in Heaven and people will get to know the Real You. (I’d LOVE to meet Paolo. His wife is my patroness, and his first name is similar to mine! PS: I will have to edit some of the posts I’ve written about St. Rita as they still allude to Paolo’s old reputation. )

Incidentally The Catholic Travel Guide references The Precious Pearl: The Story of Saint Rita, written by Fr. Michael DiGregorio, OSA as the source for the information on Paolo. I have this book, and I highly recommend it, as well as anything else from Virtual Gift Shop at the National Shrine of Saint Rita of Cascia.

HEADS UP: Thank you for reading this far. As a reward, you get to know that the annual Novena to St. Rita begins!!!! Here are two good ones:

NOVENA PRAYERS to St. Rita of Cascia from the National Shrine of St. Rita of Cascia (Philadelphia, PA, USA)

St. Rita Novena from Pray More Novenas

I have a new book! "The Sober Catholic Way" is a handbook on how anyone can live a sober life, drawn from over 17 years of SoberCatholic posts! It's out now on "Amazon," "Apple Books," "B&N" and and others!"!

My two other books are still available! "The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics" and "The Recovery Rosary: Reflections for Alcoholics and Addicts" (Thank you!!)